Chapter 1 : Lost

Aadarsh Sehgal played many roles in his life. A businessman running the Sehgal & Sons construction company. The son who fulfilled all his responsibilities of being the eldest, taking care of his father who was slowly losing out on his memories of him. The elder brother to four siblings. Of all roles, the one of being an elder brother took the crown. Being the elder one he had always been responsible for his younger siblings. But losing his mother at seventeen had transformed him into a young responsible man all too soon.

He looked at himself in the mirror as he wore his watch and then applied some perfume. His mornings were usually quiet and perhaps the only time in the day when he was with himself. Sometimes worrying about the day, in rare days thinking over the years he had lived without his mother. Today was the latter.

His mother would have been proud of him, seeing him in this way. He could vividly imagine his mother's warm smile, the corners of her lips curving upward to her prominent cheekbones, and her eyes squinting with affection.

A knock on the room's door interrupted his chain of thoughts.

"It's open," he called out loud. It always was.

The door clicked open, and his brother stepped inside. He was clad in denim jeans and a blue checkered shirt.

"To what do I owe, the pleasure of the gracious visit of Mister Abhimanyu Sehgal, at, " he glanced at his watch he had just worn, "Seven forty eight in the morning!"

"Good morning to you too bro!" Abhi, as folks at home and friends fondly called him replied. He walked over and pulled out the ottoman from underneath the dressing table, one that was rarely used in Aadarsh's room, and sat on it.

"We need to talk!"

"I am all ears," Aadarsh replied fixing the collar of his plain white shirt.

"You seriously need a fashion update." Abhi muttered giving his brother a once over.

Aadarsh casted his gaze down on his brother's face. "Came all the way to tell me that, is it?"

"Nope!" Abhi replied instantly. "I heard, from Badi Bua, that you said yes to marriage." When he got nothing from his brother, he continued. "And you didn't tell me! Where is the bro code?"

"Abhi, relax. I said yes... I am open to considering a marriage. I didn't say I am getting married today."

"You're meeting her today, aren't you."

"Meeting whom?" Aadarsh asked raising an eyebrow looking down at his brother again.

"The girl. I heard from Bua that she was somewhere at the end of her list of choices. She was frantic last evening. She is worried about your taste in women. Apparently the girl... actually woman, already has a daughter and is a widow."

"So? Yes, the woman you're referring to has a daughter. Her husband was in the army who lost his life in the line of duty."

"Exactly. Why are you considering to marry a widow and single mother? From what I heard, she isn't even that good looking and has a decent to moderate education. From how much I know you, you wouldn't want your partner to be like that."

"And what exactly would I want my partner to be?" Aadarsh questioned walking over to the desk at the side of the room to pack his bag for the day.

"Someone who is intelligent, street smart and pretty, someone like Siddhi."

Aadarsh's hands stilled listening to the forgotten yet familiar name of his once upon a time girlfriend. He quickly recovered from the brief pang of memory. "People grow up with time, Abhi. I have grown up to and with growing up comes wisdom. Your choices change and so do your preferences."

"So you don't want someone intelligent huh hai? Bhai, I think you should really reconsider this. Maybe you can go out on dates and find someone nice who you can love and then think of marriage. What's the damn urgency to jump into marriage?"

"Why? Do I not deserve a life partner?" Aadarsh questioned turning to his brother, with his diary in hand. "And what is wrong with going in the old-fashioned way to find a bride?"

"Do you even hear yourself? Look, mom dad found love. Naana Naani were in love. Bua also had a love marriage. We are all blessed with really good love genes. Why a boring arranged marriage? And that too with a woman who already has a husband."

"Had." His brother corrected. "Abhi, love is... it's something that I personally would like to keep myself away from. You know that. I think I need a companion more than a lover from marriage. So arranged marriage works for me. And anyways, Bua was so eager to look for brides for me. So I let her. Anyways it's not urgent...or anything like that. Remember I told you about Drashti, Mrs. Dhawan's daughter. "

"Yeah that was a  sudden proposal in a function. But this is different. This is deliberate and planned. You know I hate it when you talk and behave like this old depressed soul, in a very dashing body of a twenty eight year old man who can charm the prettiest ladies of the town and find love like a fairy tale, but wants to sacrifice himself because of his outdated belief that— love ruins."

"Done?"

"God, stop being a stoic. Stop pretending that whatever I am saying doesn't affect you."

"It actually doesn't, Abhi. We are different opinion when it comes to marriage and love. You want to fall in love, find that one woman you can write ballads for..."

"I'd prefer singing a song with a guitar for her over ballads." Abhi intervened to correct his brother.

"Whatever...and then settle down with her to have offspring and happily ever after. In my opinion, that's the marketing getting into people's heads. I want a simple marriage, a simple companionship and an easy death."

Abhi made a face of disappointment. "Fine. Whatever. You want an arranged marriage. Fine. Your choice. But please explain your choice in women, because I find it very hard to digest. Is it your way of charity?"

"Abhi," Aadarsh spoke in an admonishing tone.

"Look, if you were in love with the same woman, I would be okay with that, happily accept it. But ...you're not. Why are you not looking for a proper bride... why.. "

"Why not?"

"Don't answer my question with a question. I know what you're upto here."

Aadarsh folded his arms and leaned against his desk. "And what would that be?"

"You're doing it for Nirvan and Mukti, aren't you? You attended their PTA alone, and they complained about not having a mother or looked all sad, so you're suddenly marrying so that they get a mother figure. And you think it will be better if you marry a single mother, because she'd probably have some experience at it already."

Aadarsh didn't know how his brother could read him so easily. Abhi had decoded his plan very correctly. He didn't know if he should deny his explanation or accept it. Denying would lead to no good because his brother would keep arguing until he accepted. But accepting would only lead his brother to the next stage which would be to dissuade him from his undertaking.

"Don't do it Bhai," Abhi spoke up getting up from the ottoman and walking up to his brother. He easily came up to his brother's height. Their eyes aligned. The similar dark brown eyes looked back at the other. "You've given up a lot of things in life for us... for me, for Ash, for Mukti and Nirvan. Don't give up on the only thing that can be purely yours."

"Done, Mister Abhimanyu Sehgal? If your 'talk' has come to an end, I would like to head downstairs for my breakfast. My hunger is raging."

"Fine. Go ahead. With your date with Miss whatever."

"Khatri, Miss Khatri" He supplied the little information.

"Yeah whatever. You clearly don't have my blessings. Bye!" Saying that Abhimanyu stomped to add to the effect and then briskly walked to the door. He paused at the doorway and turned. "Get a wardrobe update man. You are a walking version of a black and white movie." With that he was out.

Aadarsh smiled to himself, looking down at his black pant and white shirt. It wasn't that bad. He loved monochrome. It was easy to buy, easier to pull off and easily fell into the category of formal.

"Good Morning Bhaiya!" He was greeted by his sister, Ashvi.

"Good morning Ashvi," He greeted back as he observed her take a seat next to him. She was dressed in a pink top that had a green collar. She looked too mature with the make up and hairdo for a girl going to twenty one.

"Good morning Bro!" She said looking at her other brother who was scrolling through his phone screen.

"Morning chipmunk. Oh and, strawberry wants it's dress back." Abhi remarked with a grin only to get a glare from her.

"And God wants the pea-sized brain that he fitted in your head back, cause you are not using it correctly."

"So original sister. Is there a Nobel Prize for creativity? Oh no. It's not." He feigned mock sadness. 

"I wish there was one for stupidity, we'd have one at home." She shot back.

"I like your confidence on your stupidity." Abhi remarked, with a wide smile. 

Ashvi narrowed her eyes and scowled at him. She discreetly showed him her middle finger.

"Okay, that's enough!" Aadarsh finally intervened halfway through his breakfast already.

"He always starts it," Ashvi complained.

"Complain box!" Abhi teased.

"Shut up!" Ashvi retorted.

"Okay, timeout. You two are worse than Nirvan and Mukti. Speaking of which," he turned around to look towards the kitchen. "Dai Jaan," he called out. "Are Nirvan and Mukti ready?"

In the span of a minute the elderly woman he had called out to walked out of the kitchen with the twins following her trail. "Yes, Chote Saab. My Muku finished her milk and my sweet Niru boy finished his sandwich."

"That's great!" He said.

Nirvana walked up to him with a frown. "Please tell DJ to stop calling me Niru, my name is Nirvan."

Aadarsh looked up at the woman who stood with her hands on her hips. "My dear boy, first you stop calling me DJ."

"DJ is cool," Abhimanyu remarked as he stuffed his mouth with the remaining part of the sandwich."

"I second." Ashvi added. "Dai Jaan sounds like we are in the Mughal Era."

"It's the two of you. You both are the reason why these little two are learning all the wrong things." Dai Jaan exclaimed.

"DJ is cute," Mukti told in her soft voice. "Like In K3G."

"That's my girl!" Abhi said with a smile getting up to give his little sister a high five.

"Bollywood movies suck." Ashvi said. "No offense."

"None taken, chipmunk. Little people," he addressed his little siblings, " guess what Didi is dressed up as today. She has a fancy dress in college."

"Strawberry?" Mukti said immediately, with a shine in her eyes while Nirvan stared at his elder sister carefully.

"Cherry!" Nirvan answered.

"Bhaiya!" Ashvi whined.

"Okay, timeout for the four of you. Not the time for arguments and fights." Aadarsh spoke up.

"I am not going with him!" Ashvi muttered.

"Abhi, pleases stop teasing her. Ashvi, you need to learn how to be a good sport. Now, both of you, no more fighting. Behave like well-mannered adults. Ashvi, you're going with him, no more debate." Aadarsh decalred, quickly taking two bites of the parathas. "Juniro Sehgals you two ready?" He asked looking at his little brother and then his twin.

"Yes!" They both replied in unison.

"Let's go then," Aadarsh stuffed the final bite into his mouth.

"Aadarsh there's no hurry, give yourself some time to eat." Dai Jaan scolded albeit gently. "And wait a minute, there's something..." Saying that she flounced back to the kitchen.

Adarsh quickly led his younger siblings to the gate. He quickly crouched and tied the open shoe laces of Mukti's left shoe. He then corrected the twisted strap of Nirvan's bag on his shoulder.

"Mukti, did you finish your homework?"

"Yes, I did."

"She made me do the last bit." The ten year old boy spoke pushing up the spectacles he wore.

"That was supposed to be our secret, dummy." Mukti said disappointed.

"Mukti, making your brother do homework is not right."

"My hand was paining." She pouted.

"No excuses Mukti. Nirvan, next time you're not doing anyone else's homework."

Nirvana looked at him conflicted in thoughts. "But Abhi Bhaiya said I should take care of her and make sure she's out of trouble."

"Yes, but not by doing her homework."

"Here you go," Dai Jaan spoke up from behind him. Aadarsh turned around to her and noticed the small bowl of sweet curd in her hand.

He looked at her curiously, "I don't have any important meetings today and these two don't have any tests." He turned to the twins to find them standing away, quietly arguing with each other.

"Yes, but you're going to meet a girl today. Isn't that important too?" She said scooping the sweet curd onto the teaspoon.

Aadarsh smiled warmly at her. Dai Jaan was the only adult all of the siblings adored. She had been with them since before the birth of the twins, over a decade now. She was almost family. He opened his mouth and gratefully accepted the woman's warmth and well wishes.

"Don't go as a businessman and don't be difficult. Show your soft side. She's going to immediately say yes."

"Shh, quite Dai Jaan."

"Abhi knows. And by the time he drops Ashvi to college she will know too. And by dinner those two will know too." She said pointing to the twins.

"I can use some quiet. I already got a lecture from Abhi."

The older woman laughed. "Well, I wish you all the very best. I hope you find someone who compliments you in all aspects and gives you all the love you deserve. And makes my life easy here." She ended with  sigh.

Aadarsh smiled, "Bye." Saying that he walked out of the house.

His shoulders broadened, his neck straightened and his head was held up high and the smile disappeared. He gave a curt nod as the the guards saluted him. His fingers buttoned his coat, another layer covering him. Gone was the man who smiled generously. The jaw was tight again and the eyes hid behind black shades as he pushed the frame up his nose. He no longer knew which part was a facade and which his real self, if at all. He was somewhere lost yet had no desire to be found. Being lost did him good. Being lost was easy.

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Would love to read you thoughts and first impressions. 

—Anami!♡