I've been thinking lately,
About you and me.
And all the questions left unanswered,
How it all could be?
And I hope you know,
You never left my head.
And if I ever let you down,
I'm sorry.
- Sleeping With Sirens; Sorry

                             ~NOTE~
                         ¡WARNING!
             TRIGGERING CONTENT

Wynter's P.O.V.

Silence.

You would think I'd be used to it by now, not talking and all.

But this silence was different.

I walked into my bathroom, wearing my little white shorts and black tank top.
I stared at myself in the mirror, my reflection stares back at me, I feel my body shiver in disgust at the sight.

I ran my hand over my right arm and my left, down my inner thighs, bending down to touch my ankles.

Ugliness.

All I saw was ugliness.

The paleness of my skin enunciated the scars on my skin, making them appear milky white.

Milky white bumps.

All over my inner thighs and wrists, the screams of my parents taunted me.

My mother screaming for my father to stop beating her endlessly and ruthlessly.
My father making me take off my skirt, and my sister crying for help with her back scarred and cuts breaking through.

I squeezed my eyes shut, tears falling down, mercilessly.

I couldn't bare them anymore.

The thoughts.

The screams.

I couldn't.

I dropped to my knees and scrambled, looking for it.

It.

I finally found the loose floor board and lifted it, revealing two razor blades.

I couldn't save you, mom.

I'm a useless, hopeless, waste of space.

I grab the blades with shaky hands and get back onto my feet.
I place them on the sink and open the medicine cabinet. I found my anti depressant pills and a plastic cup. I grab the cup and bottle of pills, sitting myself on the closed toilet seat.

I pick up one blade and rub the top of it carefully, on my thighs, not cutting my skin.

Yet.

It was smooth, but it would be painful, sure enough.

I pressed harder and the blood gushed out slowly. I let out a whimper and turned my hands over. I slit my wrists twice, the blood poured out faster and faster. Tears streamed down my face.

Helpless.

Useless.

I grabbed the pills and and ran the plastic cup under the faucet, whimpering and hiccuping with pain.

I took a handful of pills, maybe four, maybe eight, swallowing them one by one, shaking tremendously.

I feel myself become lightheaded and dizzy.

I couldn't save you.

I couldn't even save myself.

Everything went black.

:(
This was a very difficult chapter to write. If you know anyone or you yourself are thinking suicidal thoughts or self harming, I want to let you know something.

You are loved. I don't care if you say by who? Or if you don't feel it, I want you to know that you have an impact on people's lives, so many people love you. You are beautiful, you are precious, you are one of kind. You are a gem.

Im always here to talk. <3 talk to someone anyone who may understand.
Ily guys.

Next chapter might get confusing, depends, just stick with me, alright?
Thanks for reading!
-E

QOTC
(good god, wth do I ask after a chapter like this?) ARE U GUYS OKAY?!

SOTC
Sorry - Sleeping With Sirens

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