Chapter 32

With step one out of the way, it was time to keep the plan in motion and head into territory that was much more outrageous and very much of a product of my mother and my warped minds.

Sunday was supposed to be my day off of work, but there was no such thing as a day off of thinking of Sophia, even if she wasn't on set with me, where her presence was obviously a constant reminder of her existence. Unable to stand the thought of how our last conversation had ended any longer, I found myself heading to her apartment late Sunday night.

As soon as she opened the door, I fell to my knees in front of her and went for it again, this time with a little more of the dramatic flair us actors were known for. "I'm sorry, Soph. I'm so sorry. I don't care if I'm humiliating myself. I'll even cry if you want me to."

Her eyes widened in utter shock. While some of my antics may have been predictable – as in, the gift-giving – I still had a few tricks up my sleeve, apparently. "I don't want you to cry," she said, sounding exasperated. "Get up."

"No." Instead of getting up, I grabbed onto her legs and held on for dear life. "I'm sorry!"

She tried to push me off to no avail. Being 6'3" and 190ish pounds had its perks. "Get off of me and get in here," she said, grabbing my arm and tugging at it until I finally listened. "Have you lost your mind?"

I paused. "I think I have."

"Chris, it's almost midnight. Go home to whatever little girlfriend is waiting for you."

The corners of my lips curled upwards at the sound of the nickname. It wasn't much, but it was something. I was Chris to her again. "I don't have a 'little girlfriend' waiting for me at home. I'm done messing around. I've been done for a while now. I don't want one-time flings anymore. I want you."

She laughed. "That's cute, but it's a little farfetched. I don't think you'd go from ten girls to one all of a sudden."

While I'd never dated or slept with ten girls at once, I knew what she meant. I was known for reeling in multiple girls at the same time. But that was in the past. I was determined to leave it there. "It's not impossible. Not when you decide to commit. I'll show you how committed I am to this. I'll show you how much you mean to me. I promise."

With that, I left to let her get some rest before she had to head to work the next morning. But as I was leaving, I heard Tori singing, "He likes you, he wants to date you, he wants to kissssss you!"

The next morning, I managed to use my charm, wealth, and influence to get a skyline and write another apology in the sky for Sophia. This was the kind of thing you were supposed to book ahead of time, but the idea had come to me the night before once I'd gotten home. After texting my mom about it and receiving her excited approval, I went ahead and paid a pretty ridiculous sum to have it done.

I watched Sophia's face transform into a small smile as the skyline worked its magic above our heads while we were on set and felt downright giddy when her face lit up in laughter, probably at the second line.

I'm so sorry, Sophia. Please forgive me!
This is from Christian, by the way.

If I'd thought the speculation about the tension/relationship between me and Sophia was bad before, it was ridiculous after that skyline. Word of my little stunt had gotten out, and even people who hadn't been nearby during its execution were talking about it. The interns had even made up a whole backstory about how Sophia and I had been secretly having a love affair this whole time and were actually in a lovers' quarrel.

But the skyline wasn't the only stunt I pulled that day. It was just the most public one. Throughout the day, I sent Sophia a barrage of texts that were supposed to be sweet but were actually probably terrible. I tried, okay? I tried.

You make me want to be a better man.

You make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. Did that even make sense? That didn't make sense. She probably thought I had a heart condition now.

Life without you would be like a broken pencil... pointless.

Did you fart? Because you just blew me away. Okay, that was terrible. Oh, God, why did I send that? Why wasn't there an un-send button?

My life is a jigsaw puzzle and you're my missing piece. Okay, that was better. That kind of redeemed me a little. Not really. Oh, God.

No one else can make me smile the way you do. Even though half of the time it was an uncomfortable smile after her latest insult made me feel awkward. Hey, that was kind of good – and true. Maybe I could send that in a text somehow, but make it more romantic.

It's hard to imagine I once had a life that didn't have you in it. Even though you spend most of your time insulting me and making me feel awkward. Nailed it.

I'm whipped, okay? More whipped than whipped cream. That sounded better in my head...

Are these texts too cheesy? I don't know what I'm doing. I've never had to resort to this. I'd actually never sent girls sweet texts at all. Even when I was dating Cassandra, I never felt the need to do this. I was a pretty shit boyfriend, actually.

Sorry if I'm scaring you. This was my mom's idea. Not that I don't know how to handle this myself... Why had I mentioned my mom? Why?

Okay, the texts weren't working. I was pretty sure they weren't doing anything, and if they were, they were just making things worse and making me look like even more of an idiot than she already thought I was. So I took my efforts to Renee Brown.

I went behind Frank's back and got myself a slot on Renee's show without his help. Something told me if I'd tried to enlist his help, he would've told me it was "career suicide" to beg for a girl's forgiveness on national television. I didn't agree. I didn't think the public would ostracize me for laying my feelings on the line and putting myself out there. I mean, it was pretty fucking romantic if you asked me. Girls loved that shit.

Renee kept things cool – well, as cool as she was capable of – for the beginning of my interview, but she could only hold her true personality in for so long. "Now, I've been controlling myself – I know, I know. Me, controlling myself?" She shook her head. "It's crazy. But I have! But I can't do it anymore. I simply can't. I have to ask, Christian. What's going on with Sophia Hastings? After all of the stories I've heard about you two lately, the world's got to know the truth. They gotta know, Christian. They gotta know."

"I was wondering when that question would come up," I said, hoping to God that Sophia was watching or would watch this at some point and that this wasn't all for nothing. Something told me Tori would make her watch if she found out about it, which was likely in this day and age with the internet. "Well, here's the truth. I screwed up. I majorly screwed up. Everyone always gave her slack for how she treated me because they didn't get it. I did the same because I didn't get it, either. But now I do. I did her wrong and I deserve all of her hatred. I deserve this."

"Oh, Chris, I feel your pain," Renee said. "I do, I do. I think we've all made mistakes we wish we could go back and fix."

I nodded. "I know exactly what you mean. Before I go, I just want to say something. Sophia, if you're watching this, I want to tell you again how sorry I am. I know I must be getting on your nerves by now, but just know that I'll never stop showing you how sorry I am. I'll never stop showing you how much you mean to me."

"Oh, hell no, you can't go on that note," Renee said, the screechy tone her voice had taken on making me jump in my seat. "No, no, you're staying here. There's always time for a guy to confess his undying love for a girl on my show!"

"I don't know if I'd go that far –"

"Oh, shush," she said, dismissing my protests with a wave of her hand. "Keep talking, though."

What? What did she want me to do? "Uh, alright... Sophia, I just – I'm crazy about you, okay? I hope you're watching this, because I really need you to hear this. I'll admit it. You drive me crazy, but in the best way possible. I care about you so much, it kind of scares me. I just need a chance to prove that to you. I need you to forgive me. I just need one more chance."

"Mmm... I may be biased because I'm staring at him in all his hunky glory right now, but this one's a keeper, Sophia," Renee said, looking me up and down and nodding. "Now, I'm sorry, Christian, I really am, but my producers are telling me we're out of time. We'll take a short commercial break and when we come back, we've got a performance from Kacy Williams!"

After we went to commercial, I let out the breath I'd been holding in that entire time. I hadn't even realized I'd been holding it in for so long.

"How you feeling, big guy?" Renee asked, nudging me in the side with her elbow. "Ready to go out and win that girl over?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, something like that."

She chattered away in my ear as we waited for the break to end. Not long after, it was time for Kacy's performance and then time to go home, finally.

Maybe that interview would finally set the story straight and make people realize I was the asshole here, not Sophia. I had always been the asshole. It had just taken me a while to notice.

Before heading to bed, I sent out a text message in the group chat I'd orchestrated after my bout on Renee Brown. I wasn't the only one who'd hurt Sophia in high school. I was the worst, undoubtedly, as the leader of my group of friends and as the jerk who'd taken Sophia's virginity and promptly ignored her afterwards. But I thought maybe, just maybe, it'd be nice to hear an apology from the other guys who'd wronged her, too.

Three of them were still living in Indiana, while one had moved down to Texas after graduating from high school. It wasn't easy to convince them to fly over here to apologize to one of the many kids they'd picked on in school, but it helped that I paid for their flights and made them an offer they couldn't refuse.

I couldn't force them to give her a meaningful apology. That had to come from within them. But I could give them a push in the right direction.

I brought them with me to set the next day. I wasn't sure how I'd managed to get them all to drop what they were doing and fly out at the drop of the hat, even with the incentives I'd thrown into the mix, but I did it. Like I said, I was working on a time crunch and needed to show all of my cards before shooting was over and she was potentially out of my life for good.

"Chris?" Sophia glanced at each of the guys before settling on me as she walked to her trailer and saw us standing in front of it. "Who are these guys?"

"You don't recognize them?"

She started to shake her head when her eyes widened, a look of recognition clouding them. "You—what?"

I cleared my throat noisily and looked at the guys expectantly. I wasn't really friends with any of them anymore, but I apparently still had some power over them. Whether that was because I was paying them or because old habits die hard, I didn't know. "Guys?" I promoted.

Each of them walked forward, one by one, and apologized to her for how they'd treated her when she was in middle school. Two of the guys – Jake, who'd stayed in Indiana, and Brandon, who'd moved to Texas – sounded sincere. The other two, Cash and Ryan – even their names made them sound like assholes, Jesus – couldn't have sounded more apathetic if they'd tried.

As they left, Sophia looked at me and mouthed, 'Thank you.'

This was the first time she'd thanked me for something since the gifts I'd given her. But it still wasn't forgiveness.

"How are things going with Sophia? How were the guys?" my mom asked over the phone while I was in my trailer later that day.

"Jake and Brandon seem to have changed a lot," I said, wondering if she would even remember them enough to distinguish between them by names. "They seemed a lot different and sounded sorry for how they treated her and the other kids. But Cash and Ryan are as bad as ever."

"Well, I'm sorry they never really left high school, but some people just can't be helped," she said. "Are you moving onto phase – what phase are we on?"

"The last phase," I said. "Maybe it'll make her see that I've changed. Maybe not. But this is something I have to do, anyway."

"They might throw you out of the house as soon as they see you. Especially if they know you're the boy who deflowered their little girl and didn't respond the way she deserved."

"I know. But I have to talk to them."

She sighed dramatically. "Well, good luck, honey. Let me know how it goes and call me if I have to pick you up from the ER in Indiana."

I chuckled but frowned when I realized it was actually a possibility that her dad, in particular, might kick my ass. I'd deserve it, anyway.

I talked to Nora and had her move back the scenes I had left to shoot so I could take an impromptu trip to Indiana. She wasn't exactly happy since Sophia and I had already pushed back our schedule with our antics earlier on, but she seemed to understand when I briefly explained where I was going. I told her to stay vague if Sophia asked where I was, which I hoped she would. I hoped when I was gone, she'd miss me at least a little and be more likely to stay in my life when Kidnap My Heart was over.

I got her home address from Tori and showed up on her parents' doorstep Friday afternoon. There were two cars in the driveway, so it seemed pretty likely that I'd caught them when they were both home.

Bracing myself for the worst, I knocked on the door. I'd dressed nicely but casually, in a plaid button down and jeans. I didn't want to look like a rich, celebrity asshole. I wanted to look slightly more down to earth even though they would still see me as an asshole.

The door opened, and a middle-aged woman with an eerie resemblance to Sophia opened the door – her mother, clearly. Her hazel eyes – just like Sophia's – went wide. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"Who is it?" a male voice called out. His footsteps came closer until he was standing at the doorway, slightly behind his wife. "What the hell do you think you're doing here?"

Part of me wanted to get the hell out of there and run. This was a bad idea. They obviously hated me more than even Sophia, probably. But I stayed rooted in my spot and managed to speak, trying my best not to sound like an idiot. "You have every right to hate me. Believe me, I hate myself, too. But I've apologized to Sophia for what I did and realized I owe you an apology, as well."

"I don't want to hear it," her dad snapped, pointing his finger away from the entrance. "Get the hell out of here."

"Mark, stop it," her mom said, lowering his arm. "Let's hear him out. Come in, Christian."

Feeling like I was heading straight into the lion's den, I nodded and followed her inside, fully aware of her dad's eyes boring into the back of my head. She gestured for me to sit on the smaller couch while she and her husband took the larger couch on the opposite side.

I fidgeted uncomfortably in my seat before she nodded her head at me, probably a signal for me to speak. "I'll be the first to say that I was a terrible person in high school and I did terrible things. I did terrible things and I said terrible things to a lot of people, your daughter included. I regret it all. I regret hurting every single one of those kids, but I regret hurting Sophia the most. And it's for the most selfish of reasons, if I'm being honest. It's because while shooting this movie, my dumbass fell in love with the girl I'd given every reason to hate me, without realizing it was her."

Her dad began to open his mouth as soon as the word "love" came out of my mouth, but her mom smacked him in the gut to let me continue.

"I can't excuse my behavior. There's nothing I can say or do to excuse what I did to her or to change things. If I could go back and leave her alone, I would. She'd be better off if she had never met me in the first place. But I can't. All I can do now is try and fix the mess I made and hope that you believe in my sincerity when I say that I'm so sorry for how I treated Sophia. She deserved all of my respect, and I gave her anything but, and I'm sorry for that. I hope one day you guys can forgive me for it."

Her dad shook his head. "You think you can just walk in here years later and apologize like you didn't make her life a living hell, like you didn't shatter her little heart in a million pieces by leaving her the way you did? You think you can just throw the word love around like that?"

I felt my entire face turning red and struggled to find the words to defend myself. "You have every right to keep hating me for what I did and to never forgive me for it. I'm not here to force you to forgive me or to try to get you to like me. I'm here to apologize, because I fucked up – sorry. Excuse my language." Way to go, Christian. Way to go. "I can't change the past. I wish I could. Believe me, I wish I could go back and beat some sense into me, more than even you want to beat my ass right now. But I can't.

"And I know I have no right to use the word love when it comes to your daughter, because I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be loved back by her, and maybe I never will be. I probably won't. But I want you to know that when I look at her, I see the beautiful, smart, funny, talented, and strong girl you raised. Any guy would be lucky to have her. I'm sorry for not realizing that sooner."

They went quiet for a moment, with Sophia's mom staring at me with furrowed eyebrows. "You love her? You really love her?"

I shrugged and gave her a small smile. "How could I not?"