This chapter is dedicated to Forcade for making me a new cover. c:

"Last round, so go hard! Round kicks, left, right, left!"

The gravelly voice of trainer Ralph filled the gym, along with grunts of effort from the class. Sweat was pouring down Sem's face and back, as he threw kick after kick against the heavy punching bag. The message to go hard was all too welcome, and in a masochistic way, he enjoyed how his tired muscles burned and ached with each kick. It only spurred him on to go even harder.

Of course, pretending the bag was Daniel also helped.

"And time!" Ralph barked. "That's it for today. Catch your breath, do your stretches."

Ralph gave Sem a firm pat on his back as he passed him. The stone-faced trainer mostly barked orders and corrections, never said much else, but Sem had learned to recognise compliments. A pat on the back was like saying 'well done.' Him allowing Sem to participate in his advanced class after only a year was, as rumour had it, nothing short of a marriage proposal.

At least someone had high expectations of him. And his parents still wondered why he enjoyed spending time at the sport centre so much.

Sem sat himself down on a bench, took off his gloves, and undid the wraps around his hands. Going mad on that punching bag had been a good call; he felt infinitely better now. He'd always been better able to relax when his body was exhausted, his limbs heavy. Like his mind was also somehow slowing down.

He should've dropped by the punching bags before school. He hadn't been able to focus on math at all today, which was probably going to show on his test. Okay, granted, he usually didn't pay much attention. But he needed at least a tiny sliver of it, to not fall off the sufficient grades tightrope he was always balancing on.

Things at school had gone so poorly that Sem had also decided not to go to the extra football practice Nick, Ethan, and some other guys wanted to do. He had sort of promised Connor he'd give his friends a chance despite what happened, and he would. But after shit hit the fan with Daniel, he'd just wanted to punch and kick something. And talk to Connor.

Sipping water from his bottle, Sem quickly scrolled through his new messages. There was some group app spam, a few messages from Emma which he hadn't bothered opening yet, and one new message from pretty much the only person he wanted to talk to right now.

Connor: You still doing alright? [Sent: 15:52]

Sem: don't worry, i can tough it out [Sent: 16:33]

Connor: okay :) call you after dinner? [Sent: 16:33]

Sem: Yeah, i'd like that :) [Sent: 16:33]

It kind of bugged Sem that Connor was always so busy during the day. He understood that combining a job, and all that shit he had to learn at university wasn't easy, but still. He hardly texted. And they'd only been able to have a brief five minute call after the Daniel incident. Sem had told Connor that his brother knew about them, Connor had asked Sem if he was okay, and Sem had convinced Connor he wasn't falling apart or anything. That's it. Then, Connor's break had been over.

Sem slipped his phone in his backpack, and gathered his stuff to leave. Connor tried, though. He had made time for him, and that's all Sem could ask. Being completely alone in this, having nobody on his side, that would've been horrible. He did have Connor.

"Thanks Ralph," Sem called over his shoulder on his way out.

Pushing the double doors open, he glanced at the chubby girl standing just around the corner in the hallway. Hang on a second. Sem did a double take when he realised he actually knew this girl.

What was Lisa doing here?

"Hello Sem." Lisa stood up straight when she spotted him as well.

Sem gave her a wary nod in acknowledgement. "Hey..."

She and Daniel had seen him with Connor last night, and now she suddenly showed up at the gym? He'd never seen her around this area of the sport centre before. Coincidence? Definitely not.

A careful smile appeared on Lisa's face. "I was hoping we could talk."

See, there it was.

Sem scrutinised the blonde girl in front of him, trying to pinpoint what exactly she wanted. This talk likely wasn't going to be the kind he enjoyed. But Lisa didn't seem mad like Daniel. Maybe she could tell him...something. Something useful. Anything, really. He was too curious to brush her off now.

He nodded again. "Okay."

Lisa gestured him to follow her, and he did. She led him to a more quiet spot in the hallway, away from the gym doors. Then, she turned to face him.

"It's about Daniel." 

Fanfuckingtastic, his favourite topic. Sem crossed his arms in front of him. "Right, of course. Did he say anything?"

Lisa shook her head. "Not much. But given his bad mood at university today, I can imagine what happened, and what's going on. You fought about yesterday night, didn't you?"

Sem raised his shoulders in a noncommittal shrug, resisting the urge to snap at her that it wasn't any of her business.

Lisa was much, much more likely to pick Daniel's side, considering they were dating. If she was just here to lecture him about how he and his brother should get along, he'd have to force himself to walk away. Before he'd lose his temper again, and blurt something he'd regret.

He definitely could not afford to jump the gun and then pull the trigger on himself again, like he'd done with Blake. Maybe Lisa only thought they had a falling out, and nothing else. She hadn't proven she really knew what this was about.

"Look, I saw you and Connor in the nets, during the camping trip."

Sem tensed, his eyes snapping wide open. "What?"

"Remember how I came looking for you and Connor, and brought you back to the campfire?" Lisa paused, a sheepish smile appearing on her face. "Well, I'd already went looking for you two earlier, saw you were, err, busy kissing, so I left. Actually kept the rest of the team away too. Told them you guys were still working on putting those nets up."

"Oh come on."

The situation wasn't remotely funny, but Sem laughed regardless. He raised his hands, and then dropped them to his side again. "What's this bullshit? Who declared it national everyone knows Sem's gay day?"

It was odd, though. Lisa knew his dirtiest secret, but... he wasn't that worked up. Tense, yes, but nowhere near an anger meltdown. Maybe because Lisa was pretty much a stranger to him, and infinitely less annoying than Blake. Maybe because she wasn't freaking out like Daniel. Or maybe he'd already depleted his capacity for emotions for the day with his brother.

"Not everyone knows, you know," Lisa said. "It's only me. I didn't think it was my place to tell everyone else at uni, not only because of you, but because of Connor. I don't think he'd be happy if people were gossiping about him."

"Right. And neither is your boyfriend," Sem added, rolling his eyes. "Daniel's made it very clear he doesn't want anyone to know about his fag brother doing the nasty with his classmate."

Lisa's lips suddenly became a thin line, and she narrowed her eyes at him. "Connor being a guy isn't what this is about. Daniel is so much better than being petty about that."

"Of course, saint Daniel can do no wrong," Sem shot back, voice dripping with sarcasm.

But... she had a point. Possibly. Sort of. Daniel had seemed less upset, if not slightly grossed out, about the gay part. He was fixating on the part where it was Sem dating Connor. Sem, the younger brother, who'd always made fun of him, of everything he did, of his pretentious -oh oops precious -university, and any other geek who associated with him.

They had their separate lives, and that was for the best for both of them. They fought if they got too close, and by dating Connor Sem had barged right onto his brother's turf. No kidding, he would've been so pissed off had it been Daniel dating his classmate, whether it was a girl or a boy.

"Look," Lisa said, making Sem look at her again. "I know you're worried about how people will take you dating Connor, despite all the big talk you're doing. I really hope you'll try to fix things with Daniel. As for the rest... Just give people some time to get used to the idea."

"Get used to it?" Sem asked sharply. "What is there to get used to? Poor fragile souls, unable to handle the idea of gay sex. Unless they're planning on joining in, or watch us fuck," Lisa cringed at his crudeness, "I don't see how it's got anything to do with them. I don't see how there's anything to get used to."

...God, he was starting to sound like Blake there, wasn't he? They were only big words coming out of his mouth, though. If he truly believed them, he would've told Nick, and all his other friends and everyone else the truth the moment he had the chance.

Lisa's shoulders were slumped. "Sem, I know. I don't understand why some people find it weird either."

She was looking at him, sympathy practically pouring from her eyes. Sem averted his gaze to the hallway. He hated that expression more than any other. He didn't want to be pitied. He'd rather have everyone angry and yelling at him all day.

Sympathising this way was a piss poor attempt at trying to make him feel better, but it was an attempt nonetheless. Maybe he should thank her or something. Why was she being so nice to him, though? He certainly hadn't been nice to her.

Sem opened his mouth to ask, but before he could, he heard laughter and footsteps approaching. Both he and Lisa turned to look in the direction of the sound. Then, Nick, Matthew, and Ethan came walking around the corner.

"I-I better get going. See you later Sem."

When Sem turned back to Lisa, her face had gone pale.

"Right. See you later," he replied. But Lisa was already not standing next to him anymore. She was rushing off, clearly intent on getting out of there as soon as possible.

A second later, it became evident why.

Lisa didn't make it out of the hallway in time, and Matthew mooed at her in the passing, while Ethan snickered.

His friends then came to a halt next to him.

"What did Shamu the whale want from you?" Matthew immediately asked, jutting a thumb at the hallway which Lisa had disappeared in.

Sem glared at Matthew. "Fuck off," he snapped, "Don't call her that. And if I hear you mooing at her again, I will beat your sorry ass."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realise she was your new girlfriend."

"Yeah, we're so sorry to have offended your girlfriend," Ethan grinned, dramatically grabbing his chest, and not taking anything seriously as per usual.

"She's my brother's girlfriend, idiot."

Sem scowled, and Ethan nudged his side, still grinning.

"Hey, don't worry, we'll leave her alone. She's probably got enough on her plate already."

Even Nick snorted at Ethan's joke, but Sem just crossed his arms, unamused. Lisa had done more for him than his entire group of supposed friends combined. Even Blake had, in a way. How had the world turned so messed up?

"C'mon, stop that evil glaring." Ethan's smile fell slightly. "For real, we won't bother her. Let me make it up to you by inviting you to this new club in the city. We're going to check it out tonight. You game?"

"It seems to me like you could use a night out to blow off some steam," Nick added.

Sem hesitated. Getting mindlessly wasted definitely had its appeals, especially today. He could blend into the crowds, dance, and just forget about everything for a while. He didn't have to stick with Ethan and the others either after getting in, if he didn't feel like it.

It could be like the good old days, before everything went haywire. Blowing off some steam at the clubs, was normal. He hadn't been getting a lot of that lately, and some more normalcy could just be exactly what he needed right now.

"Maybe you're right."

"Of course he's right. Hey, there we go. That's the Sem I know," Ethan said with an approving smile. "So I'll see you there."

Ethan and Matthew continued walking, heading in the direction of the canteen. Nick however, followed Sem on his way to the locker room instead.

"Hey, welcome back."

"Welcome back?" Sem shot Nick a questioning look.

Nick gently elbowed his upper arm. "You've not been yourself lately, man. I saw drifting away from the group in London. Okay, you were with Emma most of the time, and I know you didn't like what happened with Blake. But you were really PMS'ing like a bitch whenever you were with me, Ethan and Matthew. I was starting to think you needed an intervention."

Sem snorted. "Your face needs an intervention."

Nick let out a laugh. "Now there's the Sem we know and love," he repeated Ethan's words, putting an arm around Sem.

"Get off, you weirdo," Sem laughed, and he pushed Nick's arm off.  "I thought you hadn't really noticed I was, you know."

Nick shrugged. "Oh, we all noticed. You're not exactly subtle when you're sulking. I just figured I should give you some space to sort stuff out, whatever stuff is." Nick paused. "So, are you cool now? Or do you, I don't know, want to talk about it or something?"

Nick was scratching his chin and nose, a telltale sign he was feeling awkward. He always started touching his face when he felt awkward.

Looking at Nick, Sem suddenly realised he'd probably been making him nervous with his silence and distance lately. He always wore his heart on his sleeve. When he was unhappy, he vented and bashed the thing he hated loudly and crudely, and then moved on. Now that he hadn't, Nick could only assume the worst; that there was something seriously wrong with him this time. Hell, maybe Nick would still think there was something seriously wrong with him, if he did tell him the truth.

Sem had his share of confessions. He didn't need both Daniel and Nick freaking out on him in the same day.

"I don't need to talk. I'm sorting it out," Sem finally replied. "Alcohol tonight is really the best medication for me."

"Alright man," Nick easily accepted his answer. "Wanna come over earlier?  I downloaded a couple new series. Very bloody ones."

"Sure, I'll be there. After dinner."

Yes, Sem knew he could avoid the entire having to awkwardly face mom and dad, and Daniel at the same time, by eating at Nick's place. This was a matter of principle, however. If he didn't show up at the dinner table at home, Daniel might think it was because of him. Sem needed to show his brother, really rub it in his face, that he was not changing anything in his life for him, and that his opinion didn't matter.

After that, he'd definitely need to watch violent tv shows, and drink himself half-blind.

Nick gave his arm a pat. "Really. Welcome back, Sem."