Cause underneath the darkness
    There's a light trying so hard to be seen.
    - Shawn Mendes; This is What It Takes

"You seem to be in high spirits today, Nina."

Another day at therapy, but I couldn't be happier. My life had taken a sudden detour with the help of one person. I found solace and joy in her and she was my shoulder to cry on, as I was hers. She gave me hope and I intended to her the same.

I smiled. "A new girl has admitted here. Her name is Wynter. I may have found a friend in her, she's nice and she has a story. One that I'm hoping to find out and help her with." I explained and Dr. Primson seemed shocked with my sudden news but recovered with a quick grin.

She scribbled on her clipboard before looking my way over the top of her glasses. "I'm glad. Wynter has..has a very troubled past. She could use a friend like you, vice versa."

I nodded eagerly. "If I can help in any way, please let me kno-." I began to cough. Dr. Primson reached for me but I held my hand up before swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Please," I cleared my throat. "Please let me know." I managed to get out as Dr. Primson smiled sympathetically at me.

"May I ask you a question, Nina?" Dr. Primson asked as she crossed one leg over the other.

I ran a hand through my blonde hair as I gave her an answer. My hair was almost to my shoulders but touching it often made me depressed to see how thin it was becoming.

"Why is it that you're so eager to help others, but not yourself?"

Her question burned in my mind as I let my thin hair fall from my fingers and onto my shoulders. "Why not? If I'm able to help someone, help someone better themselves- I'm not going to sit around and watch people stay stuck in their rotating depression, addiction, or past, knowing they can fix it and move on."

Dr. Primson purses her lips. "That doesn't fully answer the question, Ni-."

I stood up from my seat and crossed my arms. "Don't you see? I can't be helped. I can get all the treatment I need, but there is no cure for me! I am going to die. You can give me all the therapy you want but it's not going to help me. I'm dying, and I'm just giving the help that I can't receive."

A pin could be heard in the dead silence and the intercom buzzed. "Dr. Primson, your four o'clock is here."

Dr. Primson licked her lips. "Um, thank you." She cleared her throat and seemed to wipe her eyes quickly.

"Nina, we'll continue this session next week." She offered me a gentle smile and I smiled back at her weakly.

Once she opened the door, a boy with messy blonde hair pushed passed me almost knocking me over. "Watch it." He snapped.

I rolled my eyes and left the room before I could lose my temper and snap at him. When I get a closer look at him, I can see that it was Spencer's brother that I had ran into. His attitude was a major turn off; he was still hot, that hadn't changed.

"Peace!" I lamely threw a peace sign at him and he glared.

I sighed. "See you next week, Dr. Prismon."

      ✃ ✃ ✃

In the cafeteria, meatloaf was on the menu. I didn't have much an appetite, due to medication I was on. My doctors had concerns, many wondered if I was developing an eating disorder. It was so typical of them to make that accusation. No one really knows you here. It was like Asher had said once, in the waiting room: No one here knows what it actually feels like to be hurt. They don't know the pain. So, I do agree with Asher when he said this was all bullshit. Now, do I agree with him screaming this in the waiting room and looking like he needs a straight jacket?

No, I do not.

But the bad boy had a point.

"Delicious, huh?" I jumped and Spencer chuckled.

He nudged my side with his elbow. "You're staring at it like it's going to bite your head off."

Snapping out of my daze, I didn't realize I was staring at the sponge-like meat this entire time. "Oh well, I guess I got lost in thought."

Spencer skipped the meatloaf and reached past me for a green apple. "You doing okay, soldier?"

I shrugged and grabbed a red jello. "Soldier? What's that all about?"

Spencer's cheeks turned a light pink. "Well, you know. It's cause- well, I think you're brave. You have a courageous spirit and drive in you. I know you have down days that make you feel like you want to end it all. But deep inside, you fight, because you know they'll be better days. So, I admire you." He cleared his throat when he finished and my heart instantly warmed. I dropped the jello container and wrapped my arms around him in a warm embrace.

Feeling his hot breath against my ear and his nose buried in the crook of my neck. The stinging in my eyes felt unbearable as the pain within me escaped and poured down my cheeks, pooling in the crook of Spencer's own neck.

Spencer pressed his lips against my ear softly. "I care about you, Nina." His hot whisper tickled and my heart stopped.

I stiffened in his hold. "You don't have to say anything back. I just want you to know that besides your parents, you have someone who genuinely cares about you even when it feels likes no one doesn't."

He cares about me.

I nodded with four words lodged in my throat, as I felt his fingers run through my hair.

You're not supposed to.

AN OVERDUE UPDATE. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT! IM WIPING MY TEARS AS I TYPE😭
SORRY FOR BEING GONE FOR SO LONG, MY WATTPAD HAS BEEN HAVING SEVERAL TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES LATELY. THANKS FOR READING! LOVE YOU ALL (:

- ely

QOTC
Should Spencer and Nina have a ship name? If so, what should it be?

SOTC
Little Too Much - Shawn Mendes

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