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My eyes widened as I looked deep into his own, searching for even an ounce of dishonesty, an ounce of deceit, expecting him any moment to break out into a dark chuckle and say he was just "bloody" kidding. But no, all I saw staring back down at me was the most tender expression I'd ever seen from anybody, especially Ghost. His eyes were soft, his eyebrows relaxed and not pulled together like they usually were. For the rest of his face, I have no fucking clue. At that moment, it was just me and him, together, alone in a hallway waiting to debrief. Not much mattered to me right now, all the fears and anxiety melted off of me underneath his gaze. Even if this feeling was only temporary, which I knew it would be, it was comforting for now. That's all I cared about.

There were only a couple times Ghost had shown me his true emotions, shown me what was hidden deep below his stony exterior, below the bitterness, the anger, the hatred. This was one of those moments. And I couldn't have been more grateful. He was letting me look through the windows to his soul, to see him for who he really was, how he felt, everything. The doubt once etched in my features slowly began to give way the longer I looked into his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes filled with raw pain, hurt, sadness. Just like my own. As one final tear began to roll down my cheek, the pad of his calloused thumb gently brushed it away.

My head leaned into his touch, my eyes softening the longer I kept my gaze on him. He was more intoxicating than the best drug on Earth, whatever that may be, just one taste, one touch, and I knew I'd be addicted. If I wasn't paying such attention to him I would've missed it completely. His gaze darted down to my full, pink lips, my eyes taking note of how his adams apple bobbed beneath the edge of his balaclava. His stare met mine again, an unreadable emotion flickered in his eyes before he dropped his hand back down to his side, taking a step back. My eyebrows furrowed together, my stare flitting across his features, watching how they began to harden back up.

As I took another step forward in his direction, he took a bigger one back. My lips parted to say something but snapped shut just as fast. His eyes bored into me with an impassive gaze, the windows boarded up, never to be looked through again. Using his black cargo pants, he wiped the dried blood off his knuckles the best he could before putting his gloves back on. The proof of his emotion hidden beneath the rough fabric, the proof of his sympathy hidden beneath his mask, lost in the emotionless void he calls his eyes. But the cracked wall next to my head, the warmth that was once in my heart, heeds the truth. Though his stare is blank now, deep below his surface I can see the hesitancy in everything that is me.

Without another word, Ghost turned away from me and walked into the room. Taking a deep breath, I slowly walked in after him. All eyes immediately fell on me. Awkwardly smiling I internally groaned. The walls probably weren't sound proof, and even if they were, Ghost yells louder than fucking plane engines, so no doubt everybody heard what we said. Lucky fucking me. My eyes flicked over each person, soaking up their expressions in under a second.

Alejandro was leaning against a large wooden table using the palms of his hands to keep him steady, his gaze darting between me and Ghost. His lips were pulled to the side with wide eyes, looking like he'd just seen his parents fuck. Rodolfo, on the other hand, couldn't even maintain eye contact with me, or Ghost for that matter, his mouth opened like he was about to speak, but the words didn't quite form, so he just shook his head and pressed his lips together. Meanwhile, Soap grinned at me, flashing me two thumbs up, "Sounded really productive out there," he joked, not lighting up the tension in the room even a little bit.

Glaring my eyes down at Soap, I approached him before taking the seat to his left. The second my ass made contact with the chair, the loudest creak I think I've ever heard in my entire life filled up the dead silent room. A few seconds later, Soap bursted out into a fit of laughter, shaking his head. "Shut up," I mumbled under my breath, crossing my arms over my chest. Rolling my eyes, I turned my back away from him. Can you guess what happened next? The chair creaked from beneath me, loudly. Of fucking course I picked the broken chair. Soap somehow managed to laugh louder, which I took as my cue to stand the hell up and walk away, the chair sounding out one last time.

Grumbling to myself, I stood at the far end of the table, directly across from Rodolfo and Alejandro. Soap's laughter eventually subsided, and Alejandro glanced around the room before speaking up. "We did get some good intel out there hermanos... and hermana," he started off, good news first I presume before inevitably turning the conversation around on me. "We found Hassan's clothing in one of the houses, along with some other things," he continued, glancing between all of us. Rodolfo stepped forward, not looking as awkward anymore. "Si, ese bastardo (the bastard) was definitely there recently... but managed to escape with the help of Al-Qatala and the cartel," he added on, his gaze falling on me when he mentioned the AQ.

My eyebrows furrowed and my sights immediately fell to the floor, nervously chewing at the inside of my lip. This is it, here comes the whole "Sorry Y/n but we're reporting you and you'll become a prisoner once again, have fun using one-ply toilet paper for the rest of your life" bullshit. With a steadying breath, I looked back up, my eyes darting around the table. Gulping slightly, I opened my mouth to speak, my tongue feeling incredibly dry.

Just when I was about to start defending myself, Soap decided to talk at the same time, "You-" "So what-". We glanced over at each other, after both of us waited a few seconds for the other one to to talk first, we began speaking at the same time. Again. "What I w-" "So w-". My eyes narrowed down at him, my mouth opened as I tried to say what I needed to say for the third time, "I'm j-" "Sorr-", but of course he cut me off. Throwing my hands up in the air I began to laugh incredulously, "You know what Soap, just fucking go first!"

A huge smile formed on his lips as he leaned back into his seat, with no creaking noises I might add, while staring over at me. "They always say ladies first, lass," he stated, motioning his hand out toward me. My eyes hardened up into a glare directed straight at him as I bit down on my tongue to keep myself from showing him just how crazy I can get. A wide, sarcastic smile formed on my face as I clapped my hands together in front of my chest, drilling holes into his head, "Why thank you Soap! How sweet of you," I harshly replied, my smiling dropping as my hands fell back to my sides. He chuckled and shook his head, keeping his lips sealed, giving a lock and key motion over them with his fingers pinched together, flicking them away afterwards.

Rolling my eyes I looked back out at the group, nervously clearing my throat. "So, uh..." I mumbled under my breath, smiling awkwardly afterwards, "I did... something stupid," I continued before taking a brief pause. Did the room suddenly increase by 100° or something? Sweat began to accumulate on my forehead, dribbling down the sides of my temples and into my brows. All eyes continued to remain on me, everybody looking a bit confused on why I was stuttering so much. "On your own time lass," Soap yawned, flashing me a cheeky grin. My throat felt even drier causing me to involuntarily swallow, the gulping noise being louder than what I thought it would be. Jesus, why did everything have to be so loud and embarrassing in this damned room.

Shaking my head and nervously laughing, my eyes darted between each person, all of which seemed to be getting annoyed. "Oh fuck it," I mumbled, not caring much about how I was conveying myself anymore, I was growing sick of this shit. "Yes, I ran off, yes, it was stupid, but I promise I didn't have any ill intentions," I blurted, my cheeks growing red. The room remained silent, so what did I do? Continued to fucking talk. "I swear I didn't, I just... thought that you'd be better off without me is all," I continued, my speech getting faster. Another silence. "Which I know doesn't er- make... sense to... you guys, but like everyone says, I'm a terrorist," I awkwardly continued, doing literal fucking jazz hands at my last word and laughing afterwards, what the hell was wrong with me? My eyes widened, "Not saying I'm a terrorist anymore, well, it's just you guys... aren't! Not that I um... want to be one... which might look confusing because I ran off but I swea-" my blabbering was cut off by Alejandro.

Deeply sighing, Alejandro pinched the bridge of his nose, "We get what you're saying Y/n," he stated, giving me a slight nod. The tension in the room still hadn't eased, and I was quite literally fighting for my life here, and I really wanted to make sure they "got it". Clearing my throat I continued again, talking faster and faster the more I spoke, "Well it's just I don't want to be... murdered or a prisoner because being one really wasn't that fun," I laughed loudly before stopping myself, glancing over at Soap. "R-right Soap? Remember those conditions? The one-ply, the drain, the cardboard..." I kept blabbering. Soap looked incredibly confused, Jesus this was not going well.

My eyes fell on Alejandro, "I just... I think... I-," shaking my head, I bit down on my lip to stop myself from talking. This was getting really embarrassing. Ghost butted in, glancing at everyone in the room except me. "If we tell Shepherd, he'll have Y/n imprisoned and nailed to the bloody cross," he stated. Yeah, wow, I wish he could've been a little less blunt, because now I was really freaking out. Oh how I wanted to keep talking, but I refrained myself. Somehow. Alejandro's eyebrows furrowed and he nodded his head. It seemed like he was holding something back, I could see it in his eyes. But, he isn't apart of Task Force 141, or the British SAS, so he didn't exactly have a say in either vouching for me or agreeing to have me "nailed on a cross" as Ghost so kindly said.

Soap pursed his lips together before turning his attention away from me and towards Ghost, "I don't think Y/n deserves that, personally," he butted in, glancing over at my direction for a second. A breath I didn't realize I'd been holding softly escaped my lips, somehow still being loud enough for everyone to look over at me. Jesus, was this room built for the sole purpose of making everything ten times louder? Ghost nodded his head and leaned back in his seat, "Neither do I," he agreed with a raspy voice, looking over at me for a second before tearing his gaze away. "Like she said, no ill intentions, right?" Soap continued before sitting up straighter in his seat, resting his forearms on the wooden table.

Ghost nodded his head, groaning deeply before rubbing his temples over his mask. "Whatever happened today with Y/n won't be spoken about to anyone," he muttered, his voice holding some slight trepidation. They were doing something huge for me, keeping my secret safe, making sure nothing would happen to me. Hopefully this wouldn't come back to bite me in the ass later for whatever reason, but knowing my track record that wouldn't be the most surprising thing in the world. There was some uncertainty in the room. I couldn't tell if it was because of me or because of the fact they were keeping something pretty fucking big from their commanding officers. Nodding my head, I decided to stay quiet for now.

Soap grinned from ear to ear before glancing over at me, "You know what they say," he joked, looking between everyone in the room, "What happens in Las Almas stays in Las Almas." Alejandro bit back a laugh, having to turn away for a second to maintain his composure. A small smirk tugged at my lips, "Yeah, I'm sure Soap," I mumbled, shaking my head. Alejandro turned back around and smiled at me, "Glad you're gonna live to see another day, hermosa," he winked. Rodolfo nodded his head, shooting me a soft grin. Soap stood up out of his seat and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Now let's go get Hassan."