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The rhythm of my breathing began to spiral out of control as the SUV drove off, kicking up grass and dirt behind its wheels. Price's hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white against the olive backdrop of his skin, the sole of his foot pressing harshly against the pedal. A chaotic symphony of my rapid intakes and shaky exhales filled up the otherwise silent interior of the car. My chest began to heave, a visceral response to my body's urging plea for oxygen. In for four, hold for four, out for four, in... in... no, out. My body erupted into cold sweats as I fought for even just a normal breath of air, lightheadedness overshadowing my mind. In and out, in and fucking out, why isn't this fucking working? Tears burned the sensitive skin around my eyes as its salty streams continuously flowed from my waterline, my mouth filling with saliva. 

The world began to blur around me, its edges softened by my relentless pace of breaths coming too fast, too shallow. The air surrounding my mouth and nostrils felt elusive, slipping through my trembling fingers. "You've really done it this time Y/n," Price growled at me from the front seat, malice and hate dripping from his tongue, "You've really, really done it." My dilated pupils darted up to where he sat, a lump of words getting caught up deep in the base of my throat. My fingers curled into tightly bound fists behind my back, my nails digging into the scarred tissue of my palms, the zip ties feeling exceptionally tight. In only two weeks I had managed to stumble back to square one, to be imprisoned before I'd inevitably stare down the barrel of a gun again. No matter what I seem to do, everything always seemed to catch up to me. 

My intricate webs of deceit that were once meticulously woven began to unravel right before my watering eyes. Running from lies you once believed were impenetrable will always slowly give way, crumbling at your fingertips before you'd even realize it, no matter what you seemed to do, no matter what measures you took. Because if you aren't paying enough attention, if you aren't tying up loose ends and looking over your shoulder constantly, they'll tip toe up behind you, covering your eyes without you realizing it. And finally, when it takes its hands away, all of a sudden you find yourself trapped inside its spindle, helplessly looking out at how much havoc its caused behind your back without you even knowing until it was too late. 

My chest continued to burn as time seemed to distort around me, stretching and compressing in erratic intervals. But now, all I could really do was sit back and watch as my fibs finally caught up to me, watch how my life would slowly start to fall apart at its seams. Eventually they would've found out, all it took was someone looking hard enough, someone prying deep enough, for the truth to reveal itself against my pleading wishes, against my cries to the heavens up above. 

My head lolled to side as I stared out of the window next to me, my damp forehead pressed against its cool glass. My teary vision watched how the Sun slowly began to rise in the horizon, bathing the landscape we drove through in its golden glow, warming up the Earth. The world would continue to spin, the Sun would continue to rise and fall every morning and every night, our planet would keep chugging along, life would keep chugging along. With or without me in it. As tears glistened in my eyes, the vehicle halted to an abrupt stop, my head snapping forward and smacking harshly into the seat in front of me. An unmistakeable taste of iron filled my mouth, blood mixing with saliva trickling from the corners of it soon after, running down my chin before dripping onto my shirt.

The car door next to me was ripped open, Price standing on the other side of it with a deadly glare aimed my way. A loud wince fell from between my clenched teeth as his hand shot up to the nape of my neck, dragging me out of the car by it. "Should've let Simon put that bullet through your skull when I had the fuckin' chance," he growled in my ear, his words bringing tears to my eyes. My feet continued to stumble beneath me, unable to keep up with pace Price had set as he yanked me along back inside of Alejandro's safe house, my knees feeling like they'd buckle at any moment. "Fuckin' move it," Price barked, his spit flying in my face as his neck angled itself down at me, his fingers digging deeply into the soft flesh of my neck. 

Before I knew it, I was thrown to the floor harshly. My chest slammed against the hard ground causing every bit of air inside of my lungs to escape them, my body heaved as I desperately tried to suck it back in, taking gasping inhales. After a few struggling moments, my bloody palms pushed into the warped wood beneath my hands as I tried to lift myself back up, the ground covered in a thin layer of hay. Four pairs of different tactical boots filled my peripherals as I steadied myself on my hands and knees, sputtering for breath. "Hello, Y/n," Laswell's voice sounded out with small traces of graininess between each word she spoke, the sternness of her tone making my skin crawl. My head felt heavier as I lifted it, my legs stumbling a bit as I finally straightened myself upright, my body slightly swaying side to side.

My heart felt constricted in my chest as I stared into the screen positioned atop a wooden table, Laswell looking right back at me, the wrinkles etched into her skin more prominent as her eyebrows knitted themselves together. Ghost seemed completely withdrawn as he looked at me, his eyes completely vacant as if there wasn't a single thought or emotion behind them. "After doing some digging on Shepherd and Graves, I decided to look into you as well after your behavior during Hassan's interrogation," she explained curtly, "And, even though I already have an idea of your answer, I'll ask you anyways. Are you wondering why you're in this position?" she continued, her eyes scanning me up and down, looking for any signs of resistance, of lying. "No," I whispered softly, more tears welling up in my waterline. Ghost's body immediately went rigid as sadness, hurt, and betrayal swam in his gaze before each of those emotions became overpowered by one: complete and utter rage. 

Laswell nodded before taking a deep breath, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. The air grew thick with tension, with confusion, and with an undeniable hatred. "We gave you a chance Y/n," she stated, her voice strict as if I was being scolded by a teacher, "We gave you a chance and what did I tell you?" My eyes fell downcast as tiny droplets of tears fell from my jaw onto the wooden floor. "I told you not to fuck up and that's exactly what you did," her voice was sharp, laden with disapproval. A delicate quiver of my lip betrayed the emotions I've desperately tried to hold at bay, fighting against the welling tears continuing to fill my eyes. My jaw clenched in a silent effort to remain composed, each tightened muscle a testament to my internal struggle. 

The room remained quiet for a moment before Laswell spoke up again, her words like barbed arrows carrying the weight of her reprimand, each syllable punctuating the charged atmosphere of the room. "There's many things you've kept from us," she stated, her once composed demeanor now bristling with a palpable frustration, the tension evident in her furrowed eyebrows and stern gaze, making me want to shrivel away underneath it, "Would you care to share those things, or should I?" My lips pulled together at her insinuation of multiple lies I've kept to myself and hidden from them. Her expression slowly shifted from disappointment to a profound starkness due to my prolonged silence. How could I tell them? How could she expect me to tell the people I have grown to love a secret I've held for so long? Secrets, lies, deceits. A whirlwind of betrayal swirling around me, dragging everyone I cared about into its fucked up vortex. 

"I see," she stated grimly. Ghost scoffed loudly from next to me, his fists balling at his sides. Soap just stared in my direction, eyeing me up and down as he pulled his lips between his teeth, clenching his jaw. The looks everyone seemed to be giving me, the resentment bubbling in the air stripped the oxygen from my esophagus, suffocatingly so. All of it was enough to leave me on the verge of a breakdown. My breath began to hitch in my throat, an emotional storm wracking my body, threatening to break free from deep inside of my being. Laswell peered through her screen, looking at the four other men standing in the room, her gaze leaving my trembling body for just a moment. My eyes remained at my feet, avoiding contact with everyone, unable to bear the judgement of my own conscious, unable to face the people I've lied to since the beginning.

Laswell cleared her throat followed by the sound of rustling papers, "For starters, Y/n has been using her mothers maiden name," she started off, letting the weight of her words settle upon everyone, a heavy cloak of guilt descending upon me. The intense effort not to cry was etched on my features, my facial muscles twitching in dance between restraint and plead for release, my quivering lip, shimmering eyes, and large lump in my throat all testimonies. "The fuck is her last name then?" Ghost shouted bitterly, clearly trying to control himself but failing miserably. A fleeting glance in his direction pulled at my heart strings, quickly my puffy eyes fell back down to the floor seeking refuge from everybody's prying eyes, as if avoiding their glares would stem my tide of guilt-stricken emotions. 

My gaze became distant, a subtle retreat into my internal landscape where my feelings were both shielded and laid bare. In the recesses of my mind, the dam holding back my whirlwind of emotions began to crack. "Zyani," Laswell stated darkly. The weight of my guilt, of my shame, barely stoically shouldered, became an insurmountable burden that completely eroded any of the composure I'd hardly managed to maintain. My resolve crumpled at my fingertips, a floodgate of remorse quickly unleashing itself from the deepest corners of my mind. 

The last name I so desperately tried to hide from not only them, but from the entire world, finally escaped itself from the locked box buried deep in the back of my head. Everyone fell silent as each pair of eyes fell on me, the room quickly grew thick with tension not even the sharpest blade could cut through. Tears began to stream down my cheeks as I forced my eyes closed, my lip still managing to quiver even after I bit down on it harshly with my teeth. "As in... Hassan Zyani?" Gaz muttered quietly, breaking the silence, his voice holding some anger, part of him already knowing the answer.

"She's his daughter."