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You should be. How comical. In a huff, I briskly walked back to my barracks. The anger inside of me boiled my blood, the cool air being no match to the raging heat inside of my veins. Tomorrow, I'd make him fucking regret it. As I made my way over I mumbled curses to myself, muttering how annoying and arrogant the skull-masked fucker was. I stomped to my door and aggressively turned the handle, shoving it open and slamming it behind me, almost breaking the hinges and splitting the wood. 

I had sparred with many other men, men just like him who acted all big and tough; all it took was one swift motion to shatter their pride into pieces. My body was shaking with rage, I attempted deep breaths to calm myself down. In and out. It didn't help that much mentally, but it was enough for my body to calm down. 

My sights were set on the bed to my right. At this point I just wanted to sleep, exhaustion looming over me, infecting my bones. I groaned as I realized I hadn't made it yet, the white sheets and fleece blanket still folded neatly in a stack at the foot of it. Oh, and of course I didn't have a pillow. Whatever, I've lived in worse conditions. 

With a firm hand, I palmed the white sheets and placed it where the pillow would have been. As I laid down on the somewhat comfortable mattress, I unfolded the soft grey blanket and pulled it close to my chest, enveloping my body in a taco-like formation. Gently I closed my eyes, and the outside world around me began to fade into a realm of tranquility and peace.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, bee-

The annoying blaring of the alarm clock next to me halted to an abrupt stop as I slammed my fist down on it. My eyelids felt heavy as I attempted to open them, slowly blinking as I rubbed my hands against my face. I turned myself over to look at the small screen next to me reading 5:45 am. Sluggishly I sat up and stretched out my limbs, noticing a small crick in my neck. I hated waking up at the crack ass of dawn, it was something I never got used to.

Groggily I sat up on my bed and cupped my hand to my mouth as I yawned.  Loosely gripping the blanket, I pushed it over to the side and stood up, already missing the comforting warmth of it. I made my way over to the wardrobe and picked out a pair of beige cargo pants, and a tight white tee. I stripped myself of the clothes I had slept in and began to get dressed.

I lifted my arms and pulled the shirt over my head, smoothing out the wrinkles with my hands. Next was the pants, I stepped into each leg of the rough fabric and pulled it up to my hips, tugging the zipper upwards and popping the button into place. I grabbed a pair of socks and slipped them onto my feet, followed by a set of combat boots at the bottom of the wardrobe. I undid the braid in my hair, letting my long wavy locks fall to my back before tying it up into a low bun. 

A soft sigh escaped my lips as I lazily glanced over at the clock, 5:53 am. Soft blue light began to pour through the window over my bed. I made my way over to the door, and stepped outside. The sky was painted in delicate pastel hues of pinks, oranges, and purples, with a soft glow emerging from the distant East. I could spend all morning watching the ever-changing canvas of the atmosphere, how the colors would become more bold, more vibrant. A smile tugged at my lips I took in a deep breath of fresh air. It was quite beautiful here.

As I soaked in the sunlight, the crisp air around me slowly began to heat up, bathing the world in its warmth. Taking in one final look at the sky, I turned on my heel and started to walk toward the field Ghost had mentioned last night. Birds chirped in the distance, mingling with quiet stirring sounds of the compound. The gravel beneath my feet slowly become more sparse as I approached the blanket of dewy grass before me, sparkling like scattered diamonds in the early light.

With each step, my boots made a soft crunch sound as they pressed against the damp ground. My peaceful mood slowly dissipated at my fingertips as I saw Ghost standing in front of me with his back turned. Had he not noticed me? I wasn't one for dirty fighting, but if anyone deserved it--it was him. Clearly I had the element of surprise on my side, all it would take was a quick kick to the back of his knees an- "You're late," his rumbling voice lectured as he turned around to face me. Of course, I rolled my eyes in response and stopped in my tracks, standing only a few feet away from him. With his arms crossed, he studied me up and down. 

"Show me what you got," he lowly snickered. The peaceful tranquility of the golden tapestry of the world contrasted heavily with the electric energy between us, crackling with anticipation. My eyes studied his large frame, searching for any weaknesses I could exploit. News flash: there were none. Adrenaline coursed through my body as I positioned myself in a fighter stance. My knees slightly bent, and my fists raised up to my chest. "Gladly," I remarked with a sly smirk.

It was now or never. I raised my fist in the air, giving the impression I was going to punch him square in the jaw. He moved his hands up defensively, as if to block my attempt. How predictable. In a flash, I dropped my body to the floor, crouching slightly as I spun around behind him and hooked my leg at the base of his ankles. Rapidly he turned his body around in my direction, his second and final mistake. Using his own body weight against him, I swiped my leg backward, sending him crashing into the ground. 

A smug grin appeared on my face as I quickly jumped on top of him, attempting to restrain him down against the soggy terrain. Of course though, he was already one step ahead of me. With a swift motion, his leg hooked around my waist and flipped me over, knocking the wind completely out of me. I softly gasped as my chest hit the soft grass, the cool dew seeping through the fabric of my shirt. Quickly he got on top of me, pinning my shoulder blades to the ground as he rested his knees on top of them

"Again," he growled as he stood up, releasing the heavy pressure from my shoulders. My breath came out in short pants as I attempted to catch it, a small wince escaping from my lips. With a final steadying exhale, I pushed myself off of the ground, feeling the wet grass beneath my palms. Droplets of water clung to my skin as I swiftly brushed them away. My unwavering gaze soon met his. He peered down at me through the gap in his facial covering, seemingly unfazed, amusement dancing in his eyes, as if this whole situation was some kind of fucking joke.

My jaw tightened and my eyes narrowed, the small coil binding my sanity together slowly began to unravel. Fury consumed every fiber of my being as I clenched my fists and rose them in front of my chest. Even with his infamous skull balaclava, I could see the fabric pulling at the corners of where his mouth would be, letting me know there was probably wide stupid smirk spread across his face. "I'll make you regret that," I threatened, each word oozing with hate. A low chuckle erupted from his lips, "I'd like to see you try," he retorted, inching a step closer to me. 

With that final remark, he had stolen any ounce of logical reasoning I had left to offer. My nails dug into my skin as I balled up my hands even tighter. "Fuck you," I growled as I propelled my fist forward, aiming for the soft spot on his nose. His reaction was quick, quicker than I thought it would be. He dodged my attack, simply stepping a couple inches to the side and kicking his leg out in front of me. Unlike him, my reflex wasn't quick enough. I stumbled forward over his outstretched foot and hit the ground with a loud thud. 

Every muscle in my body ached in pain, begging me just to accept my loses. But I wouldn't, losing wasn't in my vocabulary. My teeth gritted together as I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, slowly straightening out my back and rising to my feet once more, planting them firmly against the ground. "Again," Ghost ordered. Angrily, I wiped off the blades of grass embedded against my clothing back onto the field, sweeping the fabric free of green debris.

Once again, I stood tall in my fighter stance, rolling my neck around and raising up my shaky fists. My body lightly trembled with exhaustion, I couldn't remember the last time I had my ass handed to me like this, or having the sickening feeling of helplessness linger in my mind. With a sharp inhale, I surveyed my options for taking this unit of a man down, to prove my capabilities. To him, or to myself, I wasn't quite sure. Punching, no go. Tackling, almost. Kicking? Let's find out. 

Remembering how I was able to catch him off guard before, a beacon of hope shone in my mind, maybe that would work again. Retracting my dominant arm from its position, I drew it back. My other fist remained raised against my chest, a small defense measure to any counterattacks. His eyes studied my fist, the quick motion of it working backwards, where it would probably be propelled at him once again. Doing the same move twice after it had already failed before? He knew better. Still, his body language reacted in a way that would give the illusion he was falling into my glaringly obvious trap I had set out for him. 

Like a well-coordinated pendulum, my leg swiftly raised from the ground as my hips rotated, adding as much force as I possibly could, using the earth as my stabilizer. He had anticipated this, he scoffed lightly at how predictable I was. It may have worked once, but it sure as hell would never work again. With a swift motion, his hand grips my foot mid-air, his fingers wrapping firmly around the sole of my boot. My eyes widen, nonono- 

Attempting to twist my leg out of his grasp, I slightly lost my balance from under me. Quickly, I try to re-stabilize myself, momentarily occupying my mind away from him, from what he could do. And would do. My feeble footing, the little I had of it left, was quickly ripped from me as his free leg swipes under my ankle causing my body to crash back down onto the wet field once more. 

"Fuck..." I seethed between clenched teeth, the back of my head throbbing in immense pain from hitting the solid ground one too many times. The grass did little to pad the rough earth beneath it, there would be plenty of bruises tomorrow. Resilience mixing with pure adrenaline, and definitely my swollen ego, I pushed through the debilitating discomfort and gradually rose myself back onto my feet. My eyes locked onto his, a fiery determination to show him up lit ablaze in my dilated pupils. "Again."

The next couple hours were filled with my pride and ego taking a severe bruising, probably worse than the black and purple ones soon to litter my entire body by the end of the day. "Again." "Again." "Again." That phrase was quickly embedded into my fogged up mind, his deep commanding voice a broken record. 

The sky by now had reached its peak brilliance, the pastel colors shifted into a rich and vivid blue, the wispy clouds in the atmosphere were scattered like strokes of an artist's paintbrush. The sun shined down on the compound fiercely, casting bright rays that heated the earth down below. In other terms, it was fucking sweltering. 

Sweat glistened on my forehead, and my muscles rippled with overexertion. With every crash back onto the field, with every unpredictable move he made, with every gasp, wince, and groan falling from my mouth like a symphony of pain, I continued to stand up tall. I hadn't given up, and that had to mean something.

Right?

Crouching my body down, I narrowly avoided one of his swipes in my direction. Using my current position to my advantage, I sprung my thighs upward and outstretched my hands, attempting to knock him down to the ground in a harsh collision, with me, of course, landing straight on top of him. It was never that easy though. As I lunged at him, he instinctually lowered his center of gravity, something he learned the hard way long ago, utilizing his leverage to turn the force of my attack against me.

Before I'd even have a chance to react, he extends his arms outward and grips his hands tightly around my body, my momentum quickly halted and reversed as he throws me back. I felt like I was flying, my limbs slightly flailed in the air as I attempted to regain any sort of control, the wind rushed against my sweaty skin, and a soft whooshing sound filled my eardrums. The impact reverberated through my bones as I smacked against the ground with a loud, resounding thud. 

My spine made contact with the ground first, the violence of the harsh fall sent shockwaves wracking through every inch of my body, leaving me breathless and disorientated. My back absorbed the brunt of it causing a sharp pain to radiate deep in my bones. "J- e- sus..." I panted out as I continued to lay on the ground, gasping for air. My heavy lidded eyes studied his as he slowly began to approach me, sizing my state up and down before his thick accent rumbled, "here. Same time tomorrow."

With that, he turns and begins to walk away, not even bothering to help me up after sending me crashing onto the ground for the hundredth time that day, not like I would've accepted his hand anyway. Shaking my head no, I call out after him breathlessly, "get back here, I'm not finished," I managed to bark out. There was no way in hell I was leaving this field before he got what he deserved; his ass kicked. My lips pressed into a thin tight line, an undeniable surge of indignation coursed its way through my veins as I heard him chuckle dryly, shaking his head and mumbling something inaudible before speaking up in a harsh tone.

"You'll never have what it takes." 

That delicate coil, the one keeping my wits somewhat rational, had snapped. The world around me blurred into insignificance, all external distractions faded into a deep distance. My full attention became laser-focused on the Brit before me, his back turned, prime position. Dirty fighting. What he deserved. In my mind, it was just me and him, him and me. My senses sharpened, the pain around my body dulled into nothingness. I felt nothing. Nothing. It was like looking down a tunnel, my only objective to take down the man who ever dared to speak of me like that standing at the end of it

Suddenly, I wasn't in control, my brain had packed up my better judgement and stored it far, far away into the back of a pitch black corner in my mind. Autopilot geared in. Rationality was quickly shoved to the back seat as primal instinct took full drive. My legs sprung upwards, my feet pounded harshly against the grass, smushing it under my boots. My peripherals slowly diminished into the faint background. There he was, inches away. My fist raised forward, my arm ready to strike. 

Shit. 

-----

"Shut up, Simon!" my father yelled, his voice booming around my room, almost shaking the walls. I curled up further against the bottom mattress of my small bunkbed, holding my trembling knees to my chest, tears fighting to break free from my eyes. But I wouldn't let them, they couldn't. There would be severe consequences if even a singular one dribbled down my cheek.

My father approached my bed as I scooted as far away as I possibly could from him until my back was firmly pressed against the wall behind me. A sick smile spread across his face, "toughen up Simon!" he scolded in reference to the tears piling up in my eyes, even a blink would send them all crashing down, so I stared up at my father, unmoving, unblinking, utterly terrified. 

He grabbed the snake once more, my breath hitched in my throat. I quickly pulled the covers up to my neck before bringing the fabric just below my eyes, as if it would provide me any form of protection. My chest was rising and falling rapidly, I hated snakes. He knew that, which was precisely why he was doing this. "Com'ere boy," my father barked as he began to bring the hissing snake closer to my face.

"Tommy doesn't seem to mind," he darkly chuckled, giving a slight nod of his head into the direction of where my brother was, sitting on the edge of my bed with a smile on his face. I wouldn't dare to move my eyes into the direction of my brother, I knew what would happen if I did, so I continued to stare. My mouth felt dry, my heart pounded in my chest.

Soon the snake was only inches from my covered face, I shook my head, my eyes pleading for him to stop, my mouth went to open but fear had consumed me long ago and my words got lodged in my throat. "Give it a kiss," he growled as he ripped the sheets out of my shaking hands, down to my knees. "Go on Simon, they can sense fear y'know..." he lowly chuckled as he positioned the snake only inches from my lips. 

My body twitched, a reaction I could not control. My father tsk'd his lips before sneering, "I saw ya twitch Simon, twitchn'll be the end of you." As the snake opened its mouth revealing its sharp rows of teeth, my horror manifested into a fight or flight response. With a shaky hand I shoved my drunken father back, causing him to stumble over his feet. I quickly got up. With shaky legs I attempted to run out of my room. To where? I didn't know yet.

"You little bastard!" my father screamed as he approached me once more, the snake writhing in his hand as he threw it down to the floor. His footsteps echoed behind me as a sudden force ripped me back by the collar of my shirt. I held my hands up to my face defensively, in an attempt to shield the oncoming attack I knew all too well. The sound of his knuckles slapping against my skin caused me to yelp out in pain. "What was that Simon?" he crazily laughed as his fist continued to pummel into me. Sobs escaped my lips. 

"Are those tears Simon?" he manically ordered as he grabbed my small hands and removed them from covering my face, my one protection source now gone. Once again, his fist made contact with my battered features, blood poured from my lip down onto my white and blue striped shirt. "What did I tell you about tears?"

-----

My legs stumbled backwards as I lost balance, causing my rear to collapse down on the grassy terrain beneath me. Instantly my hand found its way to my cheek, cupping it softly to soothe the burning hot sensation erupting over it. Ghost's body was now fully facing me, his vacant eyes glaring down at me with dilated pupils, his iris' swimming in a black emotionless void. My lip trembled as I looked up at him, the weight of his crazed stare became too much and I turned my head away from his direction.

My ears were filled with the sound of my heart beat, and his rapid labored breaths. Physically, he was here; mentally he was far, far gone, occupying a realm of fear masked by aggression. Tears welled in my eyes as I slowly pushed my body up off the ground. My gaze hazardly met his once again, his stare now unfocused well beyond me, and everything else around him. He stood there, unmoving. Unblinking. Still and rigid. 

Finally I broke my eyes away from his frame, my mind swarming with dark thoughts I'd suppressed long ago, thoughts I would much rather not think about. With a shaky hand I wiped the tears from my eyes and sharply inhaled one final a wavering breath, turning on my heel I hurriedly walked away. The second I faced the compound, I masked the pain and fear etched on my face behind a stony exterior. My composure long gone, my facade now barely holding on by a thread. The foundation surrounding my troubled mind was cracking. 

-----

Ghost POV

Everything happened so fast, one second I was walking away, and the next my hand went flying across her face, smacking it harshly. It had been an extremely long time since I'd had a flashback, where my past came sneaking up behind me, much like her, before stealing control away from my body, my arm raising, my hand straightening out, the recoil of my calloused palm against her cheek sending her stumbling into the ground. Regret. Something about her... her actions, her words... I feel myself fighting for control anytime she's near. She's like poison infecting my veins. 

As my eyes remained down on her form, I felt disconnected from my body, observing my actions from a distance in third-person. My mind retreating quickly into an internal world, a storm brewing within. 

The fear in her eyes, her quivering lip, her face scrunching up in pain as her hand pressed softly against her bright red cheek. She looked at me like I was a bloody monster, a ticking time bomb seconds away from detonating, destroying her and everything else in my wake. My eyes traveled up to her scared expression before trailing off somewhere into the distance, my breathing was rapid and uncontrolled, much like the thoughts in my mind. The world around soon drowning out, this would never happen again. I just need to keep some fucking distance. And yet, a part of me knew that just wouldn't be possible.

-----

The second I entered my barracks, I quickly shut the door behind me. My facial expressions contorted into anguish, tears I'd been fighting back welled up in my eyes again, moments away from finally spilling over. Firmly I pressed my back against the wooden door behind me, looking for support as my legs began to weaken from the overwhelming emotions flooding my mind. I let out a soft sob as I slid down the door, my body seeking refuge on the floor below me. 

Through my descent my breath became shaky and uneven, as my ass pressed against the cold floor I hugged my legs tightly to my chest, my posture slightly hunched over as I wrapped my arms against my knees, make-shifting a protective cocoon. Maybe I was being dramatic, 'oh y/n it was just a slap, what did you expect sneaking up on a psycho like that?'. My anger had gotten the best of me, in the heat of the moment consequences were a second thought in my mind. 

The rage etched on the few features I could see through his balaclava as he slapped me burned itself into my brain, his crazed eyes, dilated pupils, heavy breathing. Memories of my father, the way he'd give me the same look, played out in front of my eyes like a vivid movie; the credits never rolling, the film never ending. My head dropped into the divot between my knees, my shoulders heaved as I silently cried. 

My tailbone ached in pain as hours passed, I couldn't bring myself to get up and move. A static like feeling traveled up my rear and into my legs, my body began to feel stiff and slight discomfort distracted my mind momentarily. The light shining from my window began to slightly mellow, the blue sky becoming slightly tinged with hints of smooth grey. As the sun began to slowly set, the shadows from the furniture in my room began to elongate. 

Knock, knock, knock.

The abrupt knocking on my door caused my breath to hitch softly, the vibrations from each knock reverberated against my back which was still resting against it. Was it him? I hope not. Still slightly trembling, I straightened out my stiffened legs, a numb feeling in my extremities making the simple task much more difficult. I turned around so I was facing the door, my hand gripped the handle, my fingers curled tightly against it as I debated whether or not to open it. My knuckles slowly turned white.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Y/n?" I heard Gaz's familiar voice call out from beyond the wood before me. My tense body relaxed as a soft exhale escaped my lips, a breath I didn't even realize I had been holding in. Slowly I turned the knob, a subtle creaking noise sounded as the hinges of the door flexed, signaling its opening. Gaz's gaze immediately fell on my my red swollen eyes, my once olive skin now splotchy and pale. A small look of concern spread across his features, "the Captain would like to see you..." his voice trailed as he continued to study me.

My heartbeat thumped wildly in my chest, my eyes slightly widened as Gaz's words set in. Had Ghost said something? 'Hey Price, Y/n is a danger to the squad, she tried to blah blah blah'. My grip around the door handle tightened, was this going to be it? Gaz's eyes studied my face as my entire body tensed, he could sense the fear and unease radiating off of me like a nuclear bomb about to explode. "Hey, I'm sure it'll be fine," he reassured, a forced half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He seemed unsure, his words caked in bullshit. You can't out-bullshit the bullshitter. 

My mouth felt dry as I nodded my head, "okay..." I softly mumbled as I stepped outside, Gaz moving slightly to the right to let me pass. He scratched the back of his neck lightly, an indication confirming my suspicion that he truly wasn't sure whether or not the oncoming event of me and Price's talk would end without my brains splattered against the walls of his office. I glanced over at Gaz's expression one last time before I made my way to Price's office. 

As I stood outside of his door, my palms were slick with sweat, apprehension filled me toe top as I rose my hand slightly in front of the door. The sound of my knuckles against the wood echoed throughout the narrow hallway, every atom in my body told me to just run away, see how far I could make it before being riddled with hollow tip bullets. No, no. They needed me... at least that's what I told myself.

"Come in," I heard Price's deep voice emanate beyond the door. Blood rushed in my ears, my senses all on full alert as I reluctantly turned the handle, and pushed the door open. The second I stepped into the office, the door behind me closed with a soft thud, isolating us together in the confinement of the room. My eyes immediately fixated on Price, sitting behind a large wooden desk with his legs loosely crossed beneath it, his back pressed lightly against his chair. The air surrounding him exuded authority and command.

I gulped, "you asked to see me?" I softly croaked, my mouth felt insanely dry. My peripherals faded as my full attention rested on him, every move he made, every breath he took. He cleared his throat and sat up taller in his seat, a cigar rested peacefully in the ashtray in front of him, its ember glowing softly at the tip, emitting a faint wisp of smoke in the air. His fingers lightly grabbed its sides and placed it in his mouth, his eyes studied my tense body language. As he inhaled the tip glowed brighter as small traces of ash fell from it. With an exhale of thick grey smoke he spoke, 

"Soap will take over your training from here on out."