"A yellow ribbon will do, what do you think?"

***

I arrived home safely. Thanks to that guy who just saved me from the verge of death earlier. And what is his name again? Sebastian? Saber? Ah, forget it. It's not that important though.

Pagpasok ko nang bahay, tanging si mom lang ang Nakita ko, dad must be out for his work again. My mom owns a coffee shop at Bonifacio Global City, I sometimes go there whenever I have an incomg exam. Masarap kasi tumambay doon, the place is cozy and relaxing, and of course, the coffee and pastry tastes good. As of now, mom's coffee shop currently have four branches and she's planning to open a new branch in Tagaytay. On the other hand, my dad, Christopher Voghill is the Chief Finance Officer of AstroGame Inc., as far as I know they are planning to launch a new virtual reality game that's why dad rarely went home.

I know that you are thinking that the family who adopted me is hell rich, right? Well, they really are. But even if they can buy anything, I always tell them not to spoil me. I am grateful that they adopted me. Yes, the day they decided to adopt me comes with the responsibility to support my needs, but not my wants. Iba ang luho sa pangangailangan, and that is what the orphanage taught me before.

"I'm home, mom," bungad ko pagpasok ng pinto. Napatingin sa akin si mom na kasalukuyang nagt-type sa laptop na, you know, those sales things, STEM ako not ABM so I don't know their terminologies.

"Welcome honey. Gusto mo ba mag-meryenda? I bought cinnamon rolls kanina sa market, it's your favorite, right?" she responded.

"It's okay mom, ako na po kukuha, just continue kung ano pong ginagawa mo."

"Sure, but if you need anything, just call mom, okay? Mamaya pa ako magluluto ng hapunan natin so eat a snack first."

"Noted po," sagot ko at dumiretso sa kwarto. Pagpasok ko ay ibinaba ko ang bag ko. Nagpahinga lang ako sandali bago ako naligo. Kanina pa ako lagkit na lagkit sa katawan ko.

I had a warm bath to relax my muscles and also my brain. Buti na lang at hindi masyadong nagtagal ang panic attack ko kanina unlike before na umaabot ng more than one hour. Bumaba ako sa sala at dumiretso sa kusina. Mom is still busy with her chores, so I decided not to bother her. Nagtimpla ako ng kape sa favourite kong mug at kumuha ng cinnamon rolls at ensaymada sa refrigerator. Sa dami ng laman ng ref naming ay hindi ko na alam kung anong kakainin ko.

Umakyat ako pabalik sa kwarto ko dala-dala ang tray na naglalaman ng kape at mga pagkain na kinuha ko. I went straight to my study table, put the tray aside, and opened my laptop.

It's been quite some time since I investigated my case. Hindi ko alam kung kaya ko na ba o kakayanin ko pa? Seconds after, my laptop opened. I quickly clicked the browser icon. I know that mom would be mad if she caught me doing this again so I decided to lock the door.

I typed it on the search bar. Napalunok ako bago pindutin ang search button. I am scared, I admit it. But I am not sure what I'm scared of. To see the place where it happened seven years ago? To see that justice hasn't been served until now? Or to see her again?

Pagkapindot ko ng search button, agad na lumabas ang mga links na related sa ni-search ko. There are newspapers, journals, news, and many more. I decided to click the first link, a blog about that incident.

Unang bungad palang ng web page ay agad na nanginig ang buong katawan ko. My hands are shaking while I'm moving the mouse. Pinilit ko na laban ang pangingig at takot sa isip ko. I scrolled down and read the article, until I saw a picture that made me look away. Even though I am wearing my glasses and the screen is black and white, that place is familiar to me. Everything is still fresh in my memory, and I will never forget that yellow room.

My mind went blank. Parang bumalik sa isip ko lahat. Everything that I saw that day, seven years ago. They all flashed before my eyes.

Nanginginig ang kamay ko at hindi ko alam ang gagawin. Kahit saan ako tumingin ay may dugo. The crimson red blood is more noticeable in the yellow-painted walls.

What did I just do?

I looked at my hands, they were trembling while holding a shattered glass bottle of wine, soaking with blood. But those blood aren't mine. I looked at the person in front of me, only to see her.

I realized that I'm having trouble breathing, kaya agad kong binuksan ang drawer sa gilid ng kama at kinuha ang isang bote na naglalaman ng pills. I took a pill and drank it. These are Alprazolam, drugs that help manage panic and anxiety disorders. It took some time before it took effect, but it still helps me to manage my anxiety and stress.

Isinara ko ang laptop ko at huminga nang malalim. I guess, even after all that time, those years that I thought I already recovered, I am still not. The fear still lives deep inside me.

Matapos kong kumalma ay kinain ko na lang ang mga paagkaing dinala ko. After that, I took out my notes and did my laboratory report. I don't know if I am the only one who feels this, I hope not, but studying really calms my system, it always comforts me whenever I feel stressed or anything.

I was in the middle of answering my hypothesis when mom called me. "Honey! Gising ka ba? Dinner is ready, don't go to bed with your stomach empty, okay?"

"Coming, mom!" I replied and fixed my things. Siguro mamaya ko na lang ipagpapatuloy ito, patapos na rin naman ako.

When I went downstairs, it was just the usual scene. Mom is preparing the plates and utensils. Halos tuwing hapunan ay kaming dalawa lang ni mom ang magkasabay kumain, since bihira lang umuwi si dad, but I know he doesn't want that too. I know that dad loves this family more than anything ese, nakikita ko ang panghihinayang niya each time na uuwi siya, thinking that he missed a lot of moments with us together.

Umupo ako sa upuan na kaharap ng kay mom, she prepared pork Adobo with boiled eggs and pineapple chunks. Sinandukan niya ako ng kanin at naglagay ng ulam sa mangkok.

"How's school, hon? Did anything happened today?" she asked while preparing my food then handed me a glass of orange juice.

"It's okay po, as usual," I answered and gave her a comforting smile.

"That's a good milestone, hon. Mom is so proud of you," she giggled and pinched me in the cheek, treating me like the nine-year-old kid she adopted seven years ago.

I don't really like lying, because I don't want someone to lie to me, but it's best if she didn't know that her son almost died today.