WARNING: This chapter contains descriptions of abuse and homophobia.

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     THE FEELING OF ISOLATION WAS NOT UNFAMILIAR TO MILES MURPHY. It's something he's felt constantly since he was a child, even in a room full of people he'd always felt so alone, and high school was no different. 

In the movies, with the help of puberty, the nerdy dweeb who got picked on all the time would go through some magical transformation and suddenly everything would change, and everything would change for Miles, just not how he'd hoped.

It's been about 6 months since the party started high school and the Byers' moved to California and everything has fallen to absolute shit for the Murphy boy.

The final bell rang for the school day and Miles nearly sprinted out of the classroom, though his excitement was short-lived, groaning as his side slammed into a row of lockers, his backpack slipping from his shoulder and spilling onto the floor. "Watch it, Murphy." Troy glared at the boy as he passed, turning away to laugh with James.

At least Miles had something constant in his life, even if it was the constant torment of the brainless douchebags Troy and James.

Miles' face heated up in embarrassment as he felt people's stares bore into him from all around. He leaned over, frantically shoving his belongings back into his bag before taking back off down the hallway towards the front doors.

High school tended to have its cliques and those who didn't fit in became easy targets for bullies like Troy and James. Mike and Dustin had Hellfire, a club for nerds to play D&D, led by Hawkins' very own super-senior Eddie Munson (Miles had no idea how old he was and he honestly didn't want to know). Lucas joined basketball, living it up with Jason Carver and the rest of the team. Miles was happy for him, though the same couldn't be said for the other two boys who constantly complained about him missing Hellfire campaigns. Miles was just glad he no longer had to endure the bullying they'd all faced in Middle School.

Miles himself had gotten involved in theatre at the beginning of the year for their fall musical Little Shop of Horrors. He had found that he was actually pretty good at singing and acting; getting the lead role of Seymour as a freshman. Though he didn't stick with it for second semester, not being able to afford it and also not being as interested since their next show would not be a musical.

Then there was Max, she was another constant for Miles. They were still best friends, even if Miles worried about her all the time (little did he know she felt the same about him). 

Since Billy's death, Max hasn't quite been the same. She and Lucas broke up and she started to hang out with the whole group less and less as the year progressed. The only person she'd really make time for was Miles, likely because they were the only people who knew of the struggles they were each facing in silence.

Not only had school been rough, but home wasn't much better for Miles. Fred Murphy started a new job as a trucker in late September, meaning he was gone almost all the time; sometimes he would leave a note, and sometimes he wouldn't. When Fred was home he was incredibly hostile which had made Miles' anxiety skyrocket, worrying about things no 14-year-old should have to worry about. There were times Miles had been left for weeks to fend for himself, which quickly led him to get a job.

You heard that right, Miles Murphy is now a proud employee of the one and only Hawkins Family Video. Even though Miles was only 14, with a great recommendation from Steve and Robin, he got the job, and boy did he love it. One thing about Miles is that he loves movies, and what could be better than getting paid to talk about them for hours on end?

Which brings us back to the present, as that's exactly the place Miles was headed to right now. Quickly forgetting about the embarrassment he'd just endured the boy skipped over to the bike rack. He grabbed and mounted his bike, taking note of Dustin's bike still sitting in the rack, meaning Hellfire was probably meeting today.

He took off down the road, heart racing with excitement. Even after working at the run-down video rental store for 5 and a half months the boy still got as excited as he was his first day. He spent most of his bike ride contemplating where he would place his new Sleepy Hollow pin on his work vest.

The small grin on the boy's face grew as he pulled into the parking lot, parking his bike next to the building. The bell on the door rang as Miles entered the building, he quickly spotted Robin with her face shoved in a book, he smiled wide, "Hey!" He said excitedly, running to punch in for his shift and grab his vest from the storage closet.

"Hey, Miles!" She responded happily, closing her Russian book.

Over the past few months working with Steve and Robin, Miles has learned a lot about the pair, one thing about Robin being her love of learning, specifically new languages.

He ran back up front, pulling his new pin from the pocket of his jeans. He peered down at his vest, adjusting his name tag before finding a home for his new embellishment. He looked back up as he stepped to stand beside the girl, "Where's Steve?" He questioned.

"Date." She answers simply, playfully raising her eyebrows, "We'll see how that goes." They both laughed.

Another thing Miles had learned about Robin... When he'd first met her, Miles had always thought that she and Steve were together, but he quickly learned that that couldn't be further from the truth, as Robin was a lesbian.

After Miles accidentally slipped up talking about Will one day, revealing that they were together, he'd panicked, so to calm him down and reassure him that she was the coolest person ever, she told him that she was also queer, which felt really nice to hear as Robin was someone he really looked up to.

"Any new letters from Will?" She asked the boy.

He nodded excitedly, "Yep." He dragged his backpack from where he'd discarded it on the floor moments ago, rummaging through it for the already-worn sheets of paper. He pulled them out, setting them on the counter in front of them, "This one came yesterday, I've probably read it 50 times already. I dropped off my response this morning, so hopefully, it will get there by Saturday." He said excitedly.

Will and Miles have been sending letters back and forth all school year, each one Miles received being read thoroughly multiple times before being stored in an unlabeled shoe box for him to go back and read again.

"You excited?" Robin asked, nudging the boy's shoulder.

"Are you kidding!?" The boy exclaimed. "It's all I've been thinking about since I started this job."

"You'll have to tell me all about it when you get back, I've heard that California has its own sub-culture, it'll probably feel like a foreign country."

While Miles has been providing his own food, he's made enough to save for a round trip to California for spring break and he couldn't be more excited, only one more day of school and then the next he would be across the country with the Byers'.

"Ooh!"  Miles suddenly said, "That reminds me," He bent back down to his backpack, pulling out an empty notebook, "I actually got this to take notes while I'm there. Lucas and Dustin say Californians have a lot of weird words they use. Even though Max says it's only stoners who really use the terms, I still thought you'd like to hear about them when I get back."

"Dude, Yes!" Robin exclaimed happily, "I have always been curious about that, movies make them seem like they all talk like Jeff in Fast Times."

Their conversation trailed to an end as a customer entered the store, though it wasn't just any customer, it was Robin's friend, Vickie, here to return a Movie she'd rented the day before, likely looking to get a new one. Though always oblivious in his own relationships, he notices the way they both look at each other. Robin is certain Vickie is straight, while Miles isn't so convinced.

Miles quickly turned on his heel, heading for the back of the store so that Robin could talk to Vickie without him around. He peeked around the corner watching the two talk. It made him think of Will and how much he misses him. It has been so hard without him, it's felt like his life has fallen to pieces, but knowing that he would see Will in less than 48 hours has kept him going and is exactly what gets him through the rest of his shift with a smile on his face.

The clock finally hit 8 and the boy clocked out for the night. He said his goodbyes to Robin, hopped on his bike, and headed home.

Even though it's been years since Will had gone missing and months since they'd finally closed the gate, Miles hated riding home in the dark. Every sound he'd hear would make him flinch and swerve on his bike. "There's nothing out there." He'd repeat in his head over and over from point A to B in hopes of convincing himself it was true.

Every time he'd make the ride he'd perform the same childish ritual; as soon as his front tire reached the edge of his porch he'd jump off his bike and run inside and today was no different. Barely giving his brain enough time to notice his dad's pickup in the driveway he sprinted up the porch steps and into the house.

He'd realized he'd slammed the door a moment too late, he paused, waiting for his father's usual response which usually consisted of yelling with a few curse words thrown in. His eyebrows furrowed when all he heard was silence.

He glanced back out the window to make sure he had in fact seen his dad's pickup in the driveway, only growing more confused to find that it was. He let his backpack slide off his shoulders and softly hit the ground beside the doorway. He walked further into the house looking for his dad. He entered the living room to see him sitting with his back facing his son in his recliner, "Dad?" He called out.

The man said nothing, standing up and turning around, a box held tight in his grasp, his face holding an anger-filled expression as he made eye contact with his son.

Miles suddenly felt as if all the air had been squeezed out of his lungs, instantly recognizing the box in his father's grasp.

He said nothing.

He couldn't, nothing would come out, so he only stood, waiting anxiously for his father to speak.

It was a moment before he did, "Do you want to explain this, boy?"

Tears instantly flooded Miles' eyes, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but still, nothing came out.

Fred took an angry step forward, "You want to explain to me what the hell it is I'm looking at here?" He questioned, holding the box just in front of Miles' face. "Because I sure as hell know no son of mine is no goddamn faggot."

A tear slipped from the boy's eye, "I'm not..." He trailed, unable to say anything else.

"You're not what? Not a faggot!?" He yelled, throwing the box at the boy's chest. Miles stumbled with the impact but still said nothing, tears streaming silently down his face. "I can't believe while I'm out there working my ass off," He pointed at the door, "You're sitting here on your ass writing queer little love letters." Miles just stared back at his father, "Well, are you going to say anything or just keep standing there looking like you're slow or something!?" He yelled, getting in the boy's face.

Miles hated when his dad would say stuff like that, even if he barely acknowledged the boy he still somehow knew exactly what to say to hurt him. "I'm sorry." He cried quietly.

"I'm sorry." He mocked in a questioning tone, "That's all you have to say?"

"I am." He cried, a bit louder this time, "I'm so sorry, Dad."

That seemed to be the man's breaking point, in a moment he pulled back his fist, landing a punch to the boy's left eye sending him to the floor, the box in his arms flying to the side, its contents spilling on the floor, "Don't you dare call me that." Miles went to sit up but was met with another blow, this one to his mouth, "Because no son of mine is a goddamn faggot."

Miles cried harder, tasting the cold metallic taste of blood in his mouth, he covered his head with his arms, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He cried.

At no point had he ever seen his father this angry. Sure, he's been backhanded a few times and Fred has never been afraid to raise his voice, but never had he ever punched Miles. 

Fred huffed, standing up straight taking a few steps back, "Get the hell up, boy, you look like a goddamn fool."

Miles uncovered his head, just looking at his dad for a moment.

"I said, get the hell up!"

He didn't need to be told again, he got up, standing straight without a word.

Fred moved beside the boy, bending over to pick up the fallen box, shoving it in the boy's chest, "I want you to get rid of these," He pointed to the letters still on the floor, "and if I see or hear anything like this again, I promise you will have no home here." Miles took the box, continuing to stare fearfully at his father, "Am I understood, boy?"

He nodded quickly, "Yes, sir."

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I told y'all season 4 would be painful.

on a lighter note let's just talk about miles being a theatre kid for a moment because isn't it perfect? and the way he only likes musicals is just so miles, I love him.

also... miles and will reunion in either the next chapter or the chapter after and I'm some excited

hoping to have a more frequent updating schedule for the next few months seeing as my last update on any of my books was over a month ago...

anyway please vote and comment, it keeps me motivated and clearly I need it

thank you <3

~lee

06/19/2023