A/N- Picture is Caden but if you want to imagine him in your own way I'm all for that. Also just want to warn you that this won't be perfect and my writing schedule will not be planned because I procrastinate sorry. 

T/W- Mention of self harm and suicide

Have you ever had a best friend?  That was a stupid question.  Everyone has had a person that they would do almost anything for because they're really important to you, right? Okay now I'm just rambling. Bad first impression let me just start over. 

My name is Caden.  I love music, and I'm super shy but love to talk. I have a best friend okay,  and her name is Katie. I love Katie and would do anything for her. Scratch that almost anything. Anyway I have had a crush on Katie since the 3rd grade and we are Freshmen now. THAT'S A LONG TIME! But, like I said she is my best friend and I don't want to ruin that so I keep quiet. 

Katie is really insecure, but I don't know why.  She is beautiful, really sweet, super smart, and would do anything for her friends (aka me).  Katie also had depression and doesn't like to speak her mind so I constantly wonder if I'm bothering her. She has grey eyes and brown hair. I have blue eyes and blonde hair that I dye. My hair at the moment is white.

Today Katie wasn't at school so after school I'm going to text her you see if she's okay.

The last bell rings and I go to my locker and grab my stuff then go outside. I begin to walk home. While doing so I call Katie... No answer, but it's fine, because Katie's probably just sick and if that's true then she may just be resting.

As I reach my house I can tell something is off. My mom's car is in the driveway and my big brother Jake, is waiting on the porch for me. He's ghost white and looking at his shoes.

I stop in front of him and ask what's wrong but he just looks up at me with fear and sadness in his eyes. He doesn't respond he just stands up and opens the door for me. 

I walk inside and see my mom crying with her hands covering her face.  Rushing over to her I ask what's wrong. She shakes her head and motions for me to sit down. 

I start to get scared, I've never seen my mom like this. Slowly I walk over to my favorite chair and sit. I feel my anxiety start to kick in. My heart is racing, I'm slightly shaking, and I feel dizzy. I'm terrified of what's about to come. Then mom starts to talk in a slow and soft voice.

"I just got a call from Katie's parents" I was confused as to where this was going but kept listening. 

"Is she okay. She wasn't at school today. " I say in a scared voice. Something must have happened.

"No...  Actually she is not okay.  Caden I'm so sorry I know how much you liked her-"

"What do you mean 'liked' mom she is my best friend. " I'm terrified now. Something happened and whatever is was I don't really wanna hear it.  I'm to afraid to hear it.

"I know, I know honey.  You see Katie apparently has been harming herself-"

"No she hasn't I would've known. She trusted me. She was healthy." My knees start to shake. My jaw clenches.

"Oh Caden she was rushed to the hospital and they couldn't save her.  She lost too much blood. She's gone honey. I'm so-"

"No. No this isn't funny stop joking. " I feel tears springing into my eyes. I look over at my brother. Waiting for him to tell me it was all a joke. He looks away. 

"It- It's not a j-joke" He stutters out. That's when I broke.

I leap out of the chair and run to the door flinging it open. I can hear my mom shouting my name but I ignore her and run out the door.

I start pacing on the porch. My knees lock. I fall and cry into my hands.  So many feelings are racing through me, I'm angry, I'm sad, and I'm afraid.

As I'm crying I hear my name. I look up. My dad is standing in front of me. He must of gotten home from work.

"Are you okay what's wrong. " I search his blue concerned and confused eyes he looks like how I looked before I knew, and somehow I find comfort in that.

Before I even have time to process what I'm doing I'm throwing my arms around my dad and burying my face in his neck.

"I loved her dad, but that wasn't enough for her.  She was suffering an-and I didn't know."

I let go of him and look into his confused eyes. 

"I have to go... " I mutter.

"What? ", but I was already running away. Ignoring my name being shouted behind me.

I run just run. I run by the school.  Tears blur by vision. I run by the park. I run by her house. I run by people. I run even when my body is screaming at me to stop. Then I trip.

Everything slows down. I hope that I fall through the ground and go to a quiet place, but of course I don't. I crash into the pavement.

For a second I give up. For a second I don't get up and just want to lay there.

When I do get up I realize I'm where I wanted to go. The old building where Katie and I used to always hang out. I walk up the three stone steps, open the door, and walk in. 

The first thing I see when I step inside is the two wooden chairs Katie and I used to sit in and talk. Without thinking I grab one of the chairs and smash it against the wall

All I feel is anger. I smash everything I see, like it was the buildings fault that Katie took her own life.

My eyes grow heavy as I drift off to an angered sleep on the floor of our trashed building. 

A/N- This is my sucky story please don't take it.  If you have seen this before then that may be because I do have it on quote.com (1089 words) 

-Jason