My mom always tells me to be careful that not all glitters are gold. Well, that is a lie. sometimes. Not when the glitter is your greatest dream come true.

Since the night I told Ben to take me to his house and we kissed, we have been doing a lot of kissing. Kissing in his car, in school, in my room, and at a party.

When I told my brother the morning after, he only told me to be careful not to get hurt and then walk away. I didn't expect him to say just that, I wanted him to sit on my bed and press for the detail. Even when I texted Jane about it, she just replied "Be careful kid"

At first, I was angry at both of them. For the first time in the history of relationships, I got my dream guy. I expected them to respect that. Be happy for me or even pretended they are in front of me. Then when I think deeply about it I became worried. If the two most important people in my life think I'm making a mistake, does it mean there's something I'm too blinded because of the love I have for Ben to see? Even as I think about it now I still don't get it.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror taking one last look at my dress. Making sure everything is perfect.

When Jane texted me in the afternoon that she wants me to come to the party her boyfriend is taking her to. According to her, she wants me to come because she doesn't want to be in a room with Jesi without me "so I wouldn't have to kill someone " she has typed, and then multiple knife emojis. I decided I will dress my best. Cropped denim utility red jacket with a short skirt, knee-length black booth, and my long black hair straight to the back. I put on more lipstick and then zip my makeup bag close.

If I'm lucky, Ben will be there too. Maybe he was the one that told Jane to bring me along. I close my eyes and open them, again. I can't think about that. Not now.

I pick my phone up and text Mile if my mom is in her room, within two seconds he replied "no". I send him a love emoji and put my phone in my bag.

I place my bag on my shoulder and take one more look around my room to make sure everything is in other, then make my way out of the house without making a sound. As I step outside, instead of Henry– Jane's boyfriend's car, it was Zed's car parked in front of our house. When he rows the tempered glass down, my heart did those flips it does whenever I see him but I ignore it and push it down as always and slide into the passenger seat. When he is sure my seatbelt is on, he zoomed off.

The ride is silent. The type of silence that makes you want to rip your hair out and scream. Unspoken words hung in the air between us. The truth is since the incident at his house I have not gotten the courage to face him. To apologize for ruining his party.

When I shifted my eyes to look at his face, he is watching me. His eyes are green as they search mine. His face glowed from the reflection of the street light. He's so damn handsome.

I look away.

"stop looking, not that you haven't seen a beautiful girl before,"  I tell him but in reality, I still want him to keep looking.

" I didn't realize I was looking until now" amusement clear in his voice.

I blush

"oh really? You would have told me you have a problem with your sight "  he smile nervously.

"Sorry but my optician died today now I'm helpless " he released his shoulder, totally enjoying this.

"I will be glad to recommend one," I said taking out my phone to text Jane.

"I don't need it anymore," he said and put the car in park in front of a building.

"do I need to scream? " I ask him. It wasn't a seek joke. The building is like it has been abandoned for decades.

"not necessary," he said and get out of the car. Leaving me behind. Before I can say something, he opened my door and motioned for me to come down.  I mouthed thank you to him and he take my hand leading me into the building.

Zed opened the front door, from the door I can see the bar attendant arranging different kinds of alcohol. Shadows shifting against the wall inside, and people smoking and drinking.

From the outside, you can never think that even a Chicken is in this house. But inside, the music is pulsating through the structure of the house.

I walk into the house looking around for the sight of Jane. I spotted her, Henry, Ben, and Jesi sitting in a roll of a chair.

The sight of Jesi whispering things in Ben's ear and him smiling makes me think of many reasons why I am not good for him.

Jesi is beautiful. She can sing. she is in barley. She has the type of body that makes people quit and look at her in wonder when she passes. She's talented, effortlessly stylish, dedicated, passionate, and hardworking when it comes to barley. She is everything that screams perfect.

A model

I think back to what Jane and Mile my brother said. Maybe this is what I'm too blinded to see. That I can't compete with Jesi Walker.

I didn't realize I am standing in a spot with Zed until he squeeze my hand and asked"ready?" I take a deep breath and reply to him " ready"