I stayed on the floor of my bedroom for almost two hours according to my clock, ignoring when Zed came knocking at my door, asking if he can come in when I didn't answer. eventually entered when I still didn't say a word. I think he somewhat heard me subbing. When he entered my room and saw me on the floor, he sat beside me and put my head on his lap, allowing me to let it all out. when he know I have calmed down, he helped me sit up.

I sit slumped against his chest, cleaning my eyes and trying to calm myself down with the hand he's patting on my back.

"c'mon. let's take you to the bed" Zed says, sitting up and taking me with him. he guides me to my bed and lay with me covering our bodies with my sky-blue blanket.

I make myself comfortable in his arm

I am used to this. waiting for someone to come lift me except it was usually my dad who always come knocking, sitting, and lifting me. He would sing, rough my hair, and tell me how brave and beautiful I am. we would fall asleep, and by the next morning, I was usually over it. Enough to go about my day with my head up.

I'm not used to another person except dad waiting, resolving, and being determined. which is why I'm tugging Zed closer to me and burying my face in his chest.

"I'm sorry she has to say all that to you" I whisper to Zed.

"I'm sorry you have to hear them too," He says. in this short time I have known this guy, no matter how big my mess is, he's always there to clean them all. even when I tell him I'm fine, he would look at me like he's seeing through me.

"Can you stay the night?" I ask him.

"If that's okay with you" he answers.

"Thank you" I close my eyes for a moment as he let out a slow exhale tugging me closer to him. and it hit me how this would have been in another world where Ben is the one laying here with me, comforting me because a guy broke my heart and Jane is not close in town. assuring me he will break the guy's nose. but this world I'm in doesn't work that way.

if I don't know any better, it almost looks like he did this for me. Maybe he figured we can be more than best friends and his staying close wouldn't help him realize it.

"Zed"

"Hmm"

"Do you think Ben is an asshole?" I ask.

"Yeap He sure is" Zed says and I smile. something started happing to me, my stomach begin turning and I feel sick. when I couldn't hold it back, I rush down to my bathroom. I forcefully expel the dirty contents in my stomach out of my mouth and flush the toilet. After I finish washing my face and raising my mouth in the sink, my eyes scan my bathroom for my towel. when they landed on my sanitary pad, I freeze.

oh no.

No, no, no, no, no...

Ben didn't use a condom the day we slept together.

When was the last time I saw my period?

Fuck....

One...? two weeks late?

It's late September.

I had my period in early August.

No, was it the end of August? it was freezing that evening just like it always does.

That's not the point, Jeiel, focus...

I'm not pregnant... no.

Not even going to think about it.

It's fine

I just had sex with the boy who left me some days after and my period is just delaying. right?

I am fine.

I noticed that my breasts have been sore lately and they are unusually swollen. I've been peeing more frequently.

I'm losing my mind that I don't notice Zed has been standing at my bathroom door, watching.

"You're not going to tell anyone till I get a pregnancy test done tomorrow then I can figure this out, right?" I ask him.

"Not even a chance," He says and walks to me giving me a big hug.

"Don't forget I'm here and I will always be" Zed whispers to me. I know he is but how long before he leaves me like others?