"I asked you again, what the hell are you doing in my room?" Ben repeats just as almost hash as the first time.

His long legs stride towards me and he snatches the book out of my hands and he places it on his chest.

My mind is whirling.

Is he joking right now, this is not the millionth time I have been in his room. Is he supposed to be angry at me? Who is this man standing before me? Did he think I'm going to judge him for doing whatever he was doing with Jesi? Did he think I care?  Shouldn't he be apologizing to me for those hurtful words his ex-girlfriend-with-benefit said to me? I have numerous questions to ask him but my mouth seems not to budge. He rudely clears his throat and waves his hand In Front of my face demanding an answer.

"Nothing... I... Think I'm welcome here? I should go" my voice is barely audible. He takes a step closer and lets out a deep breath "I am sorry" I apologize even without knowing what I'm apologizing for.

"I heard you the first time" he runs his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated.

I can't take more humiliation this night "Good night Ben" I said and I couldn't hide the tears anymore.

I should have accepted Zed to take me home. My leg carries me to the door before my brain Can process it.

"Jeiel" Ben call and I turn. He wipes his eyes with the back of his pam. Is he crying? I know is unlike him to scream at me about why I am in his room but crying is out of it.

I wipe my own eyes

"What's wrong?" I ask and walk to him. He takes a site on his bed and I stand in front of him.

"You can sit here... I guess"  he says and pats his bed.

" I thought I am not allowed In your room ?" I ask him and sit beside him.

"I am sorry," he says. I hiccup and a small smile plays on his lips " did you drink?" he asks

"Just one cup," I say and he moves to stand up. Some seconds later, he return with a red cup in hand.

"Here...It's water" he says and hands me his red cup. I roll my eyes and take it from him. I take a sip from the water, I can taste a hint of mint on the rim and can't help but think about how Ben's mouth would taste. God, where is that from.....? I'm not drinking again.

"Are you still angry at me?" He asks.

"I don't know if I am angry or sad, Ben. Everyone is getting on my nerves, I don't even know why I came here" the thought of him screaming at me for being In his room makes me want to cry, again.
Why am I being so emotional this night?

"It's not your fault, jeiel. I was so stupid " his voice is kind and apologizing.

" That doesn't matter right now. I have no plans of going to any other party again. This whole party thing is the only thing I force myself to belong but still, it becomes more of a nightmare, and Jesi... She is always..."

"Don't cry, jeiel," Ben whispers. I hadn't realized I was.

He brings his hands up and I fight the urge to flinch away. The pad in his thumb captures the tears before it rolls down my cheeks. My lips parted from his gentle touch. I look up to meet his brown eyes. "I hadn't noticed how green your eyes are," he says so low that I lean closer to hear him. his hands are still on my face, my mind is racing.

Ben removes his hand from my face and I look at his lips once more. My conscience and my hormones are battling but my conscience loses as I crash my lips against his, catching him off guard.

As my lips touch Ben's I Feel his sharp intake of breath. I have no idea what I'm doing but I can't stop. Ben's mouth is just like I had imagined, I can taste the faint hint of mint as he kisses me deeper.

His warm tongue runs along mine and my entire body feels like it's been ignited. I have never felt like this before.

The one guy I have ever kissed was not anything close to this.

He brings one hand to my boom and the other left my face to cup my breast.

He pulls back and breathes my name " Jeiel" and brings his mouth to mine again, sliding his tongue in.

My mind is no longer in charge, the sensation has taken over everything In me, Ben pulls me closer to him as he lay back not breaking the kiss.

I put my hands against his torso, his chest moving up and down feeling his rapid breathing. He pulls his mouth away from mine and I whimper at the loss of contentment before I can complain Ben moves his mouth to my neck. I shiver at every swipe and lick his tongue makes.

The feeling would have been best described as heavenly if it's not a sin I am committing but maybe I should call it bliss.

He grabs my hair to keep my head above his as he continues to kiss my neck. His teeth graze my collarbone and a moan leaves my mouth. The feeling shoot my whole body as he sucks on my skin.

I would be embarrassed if this is not Ben. Ben... Holy shit...Jesi.

"Ben... Stop" my voice is slow and my mouth is incredibly dry. he lets go of my hair. I look into his eyes, they are much darker than the ones I am used to. His lips are swollen from kissing me.

"We can't," I say even though I want to keep kissing him.