"Jeiel" mile squeeze me as though he is terrified he was going to find me dead. or worst.

When he inched back to take a look at my face, I could see the fear in his eyes. There are so red. Has he been crying? " oh my God you are okay,"  he said and hug me again. This time taking my head so tight under his chin.

Now he's crying, I can't tell if it's still that he's grateful this moment he thought will never happen is happening again.

He wants to take as much as he can.

"hey," I push him slightly so I can take a look at his face. Sometimes being shot can be hard. " I am fine. See..." I motion my hand from up to down, trying to resource him. I want to cry, too. But only because he is here.

The part of me that always needed my brother has been silently praying that he would find me. "I am okay. I promise." I try again using the pad of my fingers to clean the tears running down his cheeks.

Well, he might not know the details of the past four hours but he knows how bad it can get when I black out. And, considering that he loves me just as much as I love him if not more.

The possibility of me being okay is not registering in his brain. I could have been in my room right now coiled with a blanket on my bed or reading my favorite novel if I'm not writing. Instead, I went to a party, a party I never wanted to go to.

"fuck, Jeiel. Immediately I received a call from Ben i...... I almost lost it" Miles shook his head, raising his hand to the air in frustration.

When he turns again to look at me, I see the emotions in his eyes. fear, grief, and Love. Are all I can see in his eyes.

"Ben called me because he thought you ran to the opposite  side instead of home" he takes a long deep breath " when I tried calling you but you did not pick, my mind went  straight to every possible worst"

I smiled and hug him again. This time not because I'm scared but because  I have a senior brother who cares too much. Then my mind went to one thing that always makes him happy.

"how about you take me Home then we watch whatever you want then sleep. Yeah?" it's his time to smile back at me and he nods his head in agreement.

////

My brother let me shower and change while he went to his room to bring his laptop because mine is not charged.

When I came out of the bathroom, a cup of coffee was waiting for me on my reading desk while he sit comfortably on my bed going through His Netflix account for what we will watch. Rubbing the towel through my sticky hair, I approach the cup on my table and take a sip before spreading the towel.

With a cup in hand, I make my way to my brother sitting beside him on my bed.

"feeling much better ?" he left his head to ask me with the brightest smile on his face.

" yeah " I answered, lifting the cup to my mouth and taking a big sip. "thanks for this" I point at the cup "and for everything "  I finished looking at the screen of his laptop.

"you know, sometimes I wish I can take all your pains away and then I remembered is only daddy that can do that considering he's one of the angels in heaven," my brother tells me. Not taking his eyes off the screen.

Is this how he has always felt? To protect me from everything? Does he feel disappointed if I get in trouble just like this night or hurt myself like the day I sliced my finger while cutting cucumber for a sandwich that I later got my finger stitched and he wasn't there to protect me?

If my brother can feel this way and love me this much, I guess I am the luckiest girl on earth.

"Have I told you today how much I love you and how lucky I am to have you?" I ask him. Putting my hand on his shoulder and making a serious face.

"yes. But I can take a reminder," he answers and gives me that same charming smile.

"Are you in for Greenhouse Academy ?" he asks.

"yep. That sounds great." I tell him.