Selena was back to square one again. No job. No money. She had sent her three months’ salary to Ashton’s office to compensate for the lack of notice. She could not afford not to pay her company’s notice again this time too as she feared she would never get the work testimonials she needed. Along with his damn check and rings. She did not want his money anymore.

Hurt was too feeble a word to express what she had felt when Ashton had ousted her out of his life. She had been heart-broken since she had been wishing foolishly that he would finally accepted what was between them and make her his. How mistaken she had been. And to think that he had not even wanted to wait for another month to be her pretend fiancé. The two months he had waited had been for Uncle Dev’s benefit and she should know that.

When he had not made any effort to break the engagement, she had been over the moon playing along even if she knew she had been building castle in thin air. But had not been expecting him to end their engagement so abruptly.

Even now as she remembered the way he had acted brought tears to her eyes. It was not fair. When she had thought to solve her problems, she had now more immediate problems to deal with. She had gotten a call from her bank yesterday that the apartment would be sealed as she had not made any payment since the past three months and she couldn’t care less.

Money hardly meant anything to her now. She had done the mistake of saving her salary and waiting till the end of December to pay off her apartment one she got the check. But now realized how wrong she had been in accepting the money in the first place.

What kind of person did that make her? Greedy? Over-ambitious? Selfish? No wonder Ashton had wanted to end any dealings with her as he must be seeing her under that light as well. Her personality reflection in the mirror was not so good and that was why she had preferred returning him the money. To prove to herself that she was a better person than that.

And what came over now was something she had brought upon herself. She was on the phone with her bankers trying to convince them to give her another extension for the payments.

“Mr. Johnson, please. I have never delayed any payments so far. Please try to understand that I have encountered some problems lately. Like I said I have some money but it will take some time before I am able to pay the installment.”

“But Miss McKenzie it’s been three months already. We’ve checked your balance and there’s not enough left. I’m afraid we have no other option left.”

“What about my past records? Doesn’t that count for anything?” she had the ugly impression that she was begging but she had no choice. She so did not want to be thrown out of her apartment. She cringed at the thought of her only option was to go and live with her mother

Especially after she had to tell her that she had broken up with Ashton. She had saved the worst part for when she went over to her place to finally tell her the truth, well at least part of the truth. It was going to be a full-blown nightmare. She would tell her that they had some differences instead of putting all the blame on him. It was not fair to put everything on his shoulders when she had a fair share of that charade too. And so she was going to get an earful.

Damn! Damn! Damn! She was too proud to ask for money to her friends even her sister Rachel. She wasn’t one for charity. Not since she had started to work and become an independent woman.

Massaging her head in an attempt to ease her headache, she sighed on the phone as the manager was putting her on wait. She had pleaded for some more time and even if she knew she was avoiding the inevitable, she had no choice really.

“Miss McKenzie, I have talked to the General Manager. He has agreed to give you one more week but I’m afraid..”

She sighed. One more week would not help as she would not be able to get another job within such a short notice. But still she took the gratuity given to her without any protest and thanked the bank manager profusely for his help. At least one week will give her ample time to pack her things and move out.

There was no other way out. She would have to move to her mother’s apartment eventually. As she started packing her things, she wondered how she would explain in what kind of fix she had put herself into. She winced at the lecture she would get. It was already late to call her and so she decided to call her first thing next morning.

Tired with her packing, she eventually laid back in bed and watched a movie to drown her sorrow. Tomorrow was going to be tough enough and she had to keep her strength.

Next morning, she gathered all her strength and picked up the phone. Even as she berated herself for feeling like a loser, she wished her mother would understand her plight and try to support her for once.

“Hey mom,” she greeted as soon as the phone line became engaged.

“Selena? What a surprise. How are you darling?”

“I’m fine mom. I just have a small problem. Can I come over to stay?” she asked not pouring the story out since the beginning. If she was lucky enough, she would be spared the millions of questions that were going to tumble.

“Come over? Why? What’s wrong? Did you need something? Are you unwell? What happened to your nice apartment?”

Like she said, she had to be extremely lucky which was unfortunately not the case in those days. So she tried to be as evasive as possible which was a difficult task to do with her mother.

“It is getting seized since I have not paid for the past three months,” she hesitated.

“Seized??!!” her mother shrieked in a horrified voice. “What happened to your job in Ashton’s company? Have you lost that too?”

There you go! She could tell her she had resigned. But her mother would ask her why anyway and she had to tell her about her break up eventually. And right now she was in such a fix that she was glad she could blame it all on Ash. But her heart was not really into it.

So instead she said everything in only one sentence without giving much details.  “I resigned. Ash and I broke up,”

As expected, she got the full-on lecture she had been dreading but she kept the receiver away and tried not to think too much about the chaos her life was in. When her mother had calmed down, she started worrying for her which made Selena even more depressed.

“Mom,” she stopped her finally. “I screwed up, okay. I know. Please try not to melodramatize what happened. I so don’t need that now.”

She heard a deep sigh at the other end of the phone and she clutched the receiver closer wishing for an encouragement from her mother. Nora McKenzie had raised her the hardest way because she had no other choice. When her husband had left her alone with a teenager, the best way Nora had figured out to bring up her child was not to let her make any mistakes; like she had. And Selena had always felt too much pressure on her and had managed that by fuelling her ambitions.

“Okay, honey,” her mother finally. “I’m sorry. But I still don’t understand what happened between you two. You were such a perfect couple and Ash is the best catch of the century.”

Right. On that last note, she decided to go to her mother’s house only on the day her apartment was going to be seized.

“Yah I know. If it’s not him, I’m never getting married anyway,” she said trying an ironic tone but burst out into tears after slamming down the receiver.

Unfortunately for her, she was a one man woman. If she could not get the love of her life, she would never be able to love someone else so passionately. That was the sad truth of her life.

                                                   ********************************

Exactly six days later, she stood on her alley waiting for the truck she had called to carry her stuff over to her mom’s place. The latter had been constantly calling her with thousands of questions in tow but she had barely listened only replying briefly not daring to go into details yet.

Damn that truck! Where was it? It was humiliating enough to be moving away but to be waiting in front of her house like some ridiculous outlaw! She hoped the truck came before the bank agents else they would throw away her personal belongings on the road.

“Need some help?” shouted a voice over the road as she was moving one of her carton boxes to her front door to facilitate the moving.

She jumped at the sound of the familiar voice behind her. Ashton. Why hadn’t he driven over like he always used to whenever he saw her in her alley? Even when they had been “dating”, he had never stopped when he had seen her in front of her porch. He had not even greeted her.

“No. I’m fine,” she cried not looking at all in his direction.

“We need to talk,” he said standing in front of her blocking her every move and she moved with him trying to get out of his way.

“I have nothing else to say to you,” she said briskly still not looking at him. Why was he here now? Did he want to gloat over her failure? Not again.

“Stop,” he cried when she bent to take another box and she spun round to face him feeling indignant. “Why did you return the money?” he asked roughly and turned back to face her and Selena saw nothing in his eyes to give her some hope.

“I don’t need your money,” she told him arrogantly. “You have always taken me for a gold-digger and I’ve never wanted more money that I needed anyway,” she told him haughtily to him and tried to go back inside her apartment but he stopped her.

“I don’t get you. It was all about money anyway. Why did you resign? After having fought so much to keep your job. I want you to come back Selena. My company needs you.”

So finally the real reason why he had come after her was out of his mouth. He hadn’t come to ask her to get back with him; he wanted her for her professional skills and that was it. Disappointment spread through her and she realized she would never learn. Her poor heart would always hope for something else and she could not blame it.

But she would be damned if she accepted his bloody job. Not after the way he had treated her like a bloody gold-digger. A girl had some pride.

“Well, you can’t really blame me for resigning. After the way you sent me off, I thought we were back to where we started,” she said putting her hands in the pockets of her jeans trying to appear cool. But she was still pinned against him and was too close for comfort; she could not move even if she wanted to.

She gasped as he twisted a tendril of her curly hair in his fingers as was his habit now and brought her face close to him. Close enough she could smell his breath but far enough so that his lips were not touching hers.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I wanted the deal to be over between us since it did not matter now,” he said matter-of-factly. “It was one of your conditions anyway,” he said convincingly. “You wanted to keep the job even if the deal went off and besides you have fulfilled your part of the deal till the end. So you’re liable to keep your post as my assistant.”

She was tempted to say yes. It would be so easy for her but where will that leave her? She would be under his command once again and now that she loved him, everything had changed. She could never hate him again and seeing him date those other women would simply break her.

“I don’t know Ash,” she replied hesitantly while her foolish heart was waiting for something else; any indication whatsoever that he felt something for her too.

“Has Mr. Somerville refused to continue the deal without me?” she asked back defiantly not willing to show him how desperate she was to get back with him.

“No, nothing of that sort.”

“Then why do you need me back?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me, right?” he asked frowning but she tried to keep an impassible face wanting him to tell her the truth. “You are an important asset in my company. Ever since you’ve joined, everything had started to fall in place.”

“No thank you Ash,” she finally replied keeping her tone light when all she wanted to do was give way to the sudden misery which had gripped her. Misery because he would never love her back. Misery because all he cared was the damn job.

“Are you dating him?” he asked brusquely.

“Huh?” she queried lost. She must have missed something there for she could not understand what he meant.

“Somerville,” he said between clenched teeth. “Are you dating him?”

Somerville? Why was he so obsessed with Somerville anyway? It was not as if she had accepted his advances or anything

 “Why do you want to know?”

“I have to know. Are you dating him or not?”

“Why do you have  to know, Ash?”

Instead of answering, he drew her close to him and kissed her on the mouth. Right then and right there. Where any neighbor could see them. And damn if she didn’t return his kiss back matching each thrust of tongue with hers having missed his touch since the past two months.

Finally, she broke the kiss and looked at him, her foolish heart did a somersault. Why had he kissed her now when their pretense was over? Did it mean something?

“Why did you do that?” she asked breathlessly.

He shrugged still twisting her hair in his finger and kissed her quickly on the mouth again as if on an impulse. “I wanted to.”

Selena frowned at him. He could be such a dumbass some times. Why can’t he at least admit that he wanted her? Whether he loved her or not, she did not know. But if there was one thing he could not deny it was the hard bulge at the front of his trousers whenever he touched her. As was the case right now. But she knew his problem; he was too proud to admit that he wanted her. So there was really no hope for them; for her.

“I’m not your property, okay. Just try to keep your hands to yourself.”

Then defeated, she turned round to continue with her task and bent to pick up another carton box again.

“Why are you moving out?”

“What’s it to you?” she snapped fearing that the tears she had been trying to hold back might fall. She would not cry; had not cried ever since her father had walked out on her. Forcefully, he took hold of her hand and pushed her against the door.

“Answer me,” he said pinning her to him so that she could not move and while she struggled out of his grasp, she found herself getting hurt and she stopped struggling. She would rather die than admit to him that she was short of money. What kind of beggar would that make of her?

“I’m moving away to California,” she prevaricated looking for an answer but finding none and surprisingly found his face going bland. Abruptly he released her as if her skin was burning him and he turned round his back to her.

“California?” he said sounding queer and Selena peeped behind him to watch his face but could see nothing as he still stood with his broad back facing her. “With Somerville?”

Damn! She could have chosen another state. She had completely forgotten about the famous Somerville from California. But it was too late to back out from her lie now so she simply remained silent wishing that he would let her go.

He was acting like he was jealous. Maybe that explained why he was so obsessed with the man. And it could also explain why he had behaved like some hysteric the other day at the hotel. Because he thought she had gone out with Mr. Somerville?

Hope filled her and she felt her leap in joy at the prospect; she decided to test him. What better opportunity to know if he felt something for her too? So she decided to have his hide. Shrugging without a proper response, she continued to move the carton boxes as if it was the most natural thing for her to do.

“Don’t do that!” he reprimanded sharply. “I’ll get someone to help you tomorrow. Leave it!”

“That’s okay. It will be too late; I have to leave the apartment now,” she replied back wishing he would take the hint and go.

And then something really strange happened. He removed his suit jacket and started to lift the boxes too. Thankfully, the truck arrived and Ashton Cooper, the one who had refused to help her mop a floor was helping her moving out. And that too without her asking for help.

And she was stunned. It was quite a transformation in Ashton. Ever since she had known him, he had never ever helped anyone willingly. Even his mother had to asked him over and over for any help. Selena was pleasantly surprised at the change in Ashton; even if she loved him arrogant and asshole, she had always seen him too selfish for his own good. And seeing the change in him was making her proud of him for the first time in her life. He had come a long way from the asshole she had known five months ago.

While she knew the transformation was not because of her alone, she smiled happily unable to stop her heart from soaring to inexorable heights. She knew that since the death of Uncle Devin, Ashton had had an important reality check and had suffered a great blow. But whatever the reason, she was happy to see Ashton a new reformed man.

As they had just finished loading all her stuff in the truck, a car stopped in front of her gate and her heart sank. No, no, no. Please no! It was her bank agents coming to take the apartment keys from her. She had hoped that by the time they would arrive Ashton would be long gone.

While she was talking to the bank agents she glanced in the direction of the bankers and by the look on Ashton’s face, she assumed that he was guessing what happened. She was no longer ashamed; she had not deserved his money and was therefore not really bothered that her apartment was getting seized. But as she watched Ashton walk away furiously, she discovered that pieces could fall apart too.