M A N I K

In the white convertible as I drove, the endless wind sent shivers to my interiors as my white shirt was still half soaked. Dark filmed sunglasses checked my appearance in the looking mirror as I quickly fixed it, dashing a cigarette in the corner of my mouth. Using my hand, I tried to shove back all the unmanageable hair on my forehead and possibly some memories from earlier this day but the scars went already too deep. My palms gripped the steering wheel as the repetitive reminder of losing someone in the hands of death again and again came back to disturb me.

It was not supposed to affect me this much. She was not supposed to affect me this much. Guess, I could not just afford tattooing someone else's death on my forehead once again and hence, the fear and restlessness was justified. My left arm moved from the steering to rub my nape in frustration. But if she died, she would have died just because of a mere accident. I had nothing to do with it, right? How come I would responsible for the same? I bit the skin of my index finger, pressing hard on the accelerator because a large part of me screamed that maybe I was responsible for everything that ever happened to her.

Damn, Nandini Murthy. Why couldn't you keep things simple between us? I have a movie to shoot and a goddamn stage show to rehearse and here I am running away from all of my reality because you have grown dominant in it. Why couldn't you just remain that simple stupid girl who I made pick the shattered glass pieces up and boasted at my sadism? Why couldn't you remain another of my play-toys? Why couldn't you just remain that simple South Indian crazy fan who caught my eye for a second and who I left behind in Chandigarh. Why did you have to become animate and shake the very institution of my beliefs? Why? Could you tell me why?

N A N D I N I

Physical death never felt that close. There came a time when I gave up all my struggles to get out of the water and take a clean breath. It was horrifying and at the same time, satisfying to know and learn that I was to away for good. Air bubbles diminished in numbers as the breath iced in my mouth. I was floating deeper and deeper into the darkness, senses - mostly gone when I witnessed a faint ray of life, like a firefly swimming in my direction and what happened next was not known. All I know is that I met that firefly right in the middle of both the worlds where silence did the most of the talking.

"But you don't remember the face." A voice, a thunder, brought me back to reality and when I opened my eyes, I found myself staring in my floating, lavender dress at the pier with Abhimanyu by my side.

It had been two days since the incident of my survival which itself became some sort of talk of the crew but my head was somewhat yet quite foggy. Softly, I shook my head. "I don't remember who saved me."

"Don't you?" He asked again, staring.

"I mean, yeah." I nodded hesitantly. "Everyone told me it's Aryaman."

Abhimanyu appeared a little hurt and so he avoided my eyes and looked into the sea, bending over. "What is important is that you got a new life, isn't it?"

"Does it matter?" I asked with a hint of dark sarcasm.

"It does, Nandini." He smiled looking ahead into the depth of the water. "To some, it does. More than you know. And sometimes, you will never know."

I smiled faintly. "I have stopped playing crosswords and puzzles."

"As you should." A known voice stirred both of us and seeing Aryaman approach with hands in his pockets somewhat displeased Abhimanyu and I couldn't tell why. "Care to give me a moment with my Secretary?" As he asked, Abhimanyu left politely but not before glancing over his shoulder for one last look at Aryaman and I.

Smiling, I tilted my head. "That totally didn't sound bossy at all."

"You pay way too much attention to me. Now what, are you in love with me or something?" He joked.

"Is it that obvious?" He knew I was joking. I knew I was joking but we both quickly looked at each other and then immediately looked away and thereafter, it was plain awkwardness that remained.

Breaking the weird momentary silence, he chuckled and pulled the side of my cheek. "Shut up. You are thankful that I saved you."

Rubbing my cheek, I flattened my lips before smiling. "You saved me more than once."

He looked at me once again as the sun was setting and sky adopted a beautiful shade violet-orange. "I intend on doing that more often."

M A N I K

Like fresh colours brushed upon an artist's canvas, the sky wrote poetries of its own and with my camera, I was capturing the moment. Zooming in, I tried to capture the golden lining around the cloud when someone tiptoed and barged its face right into the frame and instantly spoiled my mood.

"What the hell, Abhimanyu?" Without removing my eye from the lens, I shoved his face away with my hand.

"Uh oh. Wrong timing as usual." He sulked taking steps to leave from the roof. "I guess I'll have to go back and sit with the gossip gang. God, I hate it." He spoke to himself.

"Wait up." He halted hearing me call. "Since you finally showed up during your job hours, for a change, why not put you to some use?" I studied the picture I captured just now to my satisfaction. "What about my outfit for the stage show tonight? Picked it up from the designer after trials this morning?"

"I did." He answered and for once, I was weirded out by this creep's short response yet I chose not to turn them into paragraphs.

"Damn, the sky this evening, Jesus!" Praises rolled out of my mouth in appreciation of the photos I took.

"Yeah, I guess everyone is feeling the sunset-love except me." He sulked and I turned my head at him for a second.

"What's up with you?" I concentrated back on shuffling the pictures. "Whoever spoke of love?"

"The entire crew!" He took a huge step towards me as if he was waiting for this cue when I would tease the topic and he will start to gossip immediately.

"Tsk! Stupid. It's only natural, don't you know? Whoever actress I pair up with, there's an automatic rumor that I—"

"I was not talking about you, sir." His words somewhat hurt my ego. I am Manik Malhotra. Of course, everyone everywhere talks only about me. Self obsessed and all that I know, but fuck it.

"Who else is worthy of being talked about?" Proud, I smirked, about to press the button to capture another breathtaking moment.

"Everyone's talking about the newly born love story. Everyone's saying that Aryaman Sir and Nandini are in love." Somehow, I just couldn't bring myself to press the button even though my eye was fixed into the lens.

Gritting, I pulled the camera down before placing it back again near my eye and this time, actually took the shot. "Are you out of your mind?" My voice was thick and throwing a sign of warning

"No, sir?" He beamed. "You should pay some attention to the people talking around. Wherever I go, people are only talking about them and you should see them once together. God, they look so adorable! See!"

With his finger, he pointed at one direction and even though I knew I would regret looking, I still did anyway. My inner corners folded in knots as I found the setting sun rays bathing her face and the soft look she had in her eyes for the man who stood beside her. I could have easily whatever'ed the situation knowing my brother well in and out but I didn't. Probably because I knew my brother in and out. It was not a look of any game or foul play. It was plain and simple admiration; admiration he once had for Chetna and Murthy had for me.

They stood together like two birds on an electric wire, chirping sweet nothings and genuinely feeling the moment and the more I kept staring, the more I felt the ground underneath my feet slip away.

"You shouldn't have let Aryaman Sir steal the show by asking him to not tell anybody the cold hard truth that it was you who saved Nandini. You shouldn't have." Abhimanyu was serious and I gulped softly.

My breaths were all caught up in the middle of my chest as I carried her unconscious body in my arms. My arms shook not with her weight but with the weight of the shock that still was running in me that what if she actually died?

Swimming, I did not even realize to what far away shore I landed on because all I needed to know and make myself believe was that - this girl will live. Nandini Murthy could not die on me. No one could die on me again. No one I subtly cared about, at least.

My hands were all frozen as I laid her on the sand and she made no response whatsoever. My hands were so much unresponsive not because of cold but of trauma that I could not even pump the middle of her chest to try and get her to live. And then, relief washed over me as I found a familiar figure jog closer to us. Aryaman. And, I was taken back to the same day, I finished my everything and ended the most important person in my life.

"Is she alive?" Hurried, he knelt down on the sand and picked her up a little higher from the sand to hear her breathing.

When even a coward like him was functioning with such efficiency and actually saving her, I was doing nothing but shake my head to get out of a hazy trance.

"Manik? Manik?" I could faintly hear him call out my name before he gave up calling me and started to press the middle of her upper abdomen, causing her to cough out water little by little.

"Will-will she ma-make it?" I stuttered, standing up and walking to and fro, possibly looking like a retard.

"Hey? You okay?" He still called out to me as I started walking farther away not wanting to know if she will even make it. I just threw my hands in dismissal as I walked away, entering a state of denial that it did not happen because of me.

Walking, I bumped into some girl who asked me if I saved Nandini Murthy. I don't remember the face. I don't remember anything clearly because my head was kind of swimming with flashbacks and my body heated up like it'd blast any moment. Suddenly, her face stilled.

"Did you? Huh? Did you kill your mom? Was that you?"

I shook my head but she was merciless.

"Did you kill your mom?"

And, suddenly she started looking less like her and more like the the judge while I was on trial. Everything turned blurry and the judge's face warped good and bad.

"Manik Prithviraj Malhotra, did you kill you mother and end her life?"

"No I didn't?" I shouted with my whole being and that person backed away quickly. "I'd never do that."

Pushing a couple of more people who reminded me of the journalists with weapon-like microphones trying to make me talk while I was being taken to the police van outside the Court.

And then, all I remember is walking away and starting the engine of my rented car and running far far away.

Truly speaking, I did not exactly spell out to anybody that Arymana saved Nandini Murthy but since I denied saving her and people found him making all sorts of efforts to bring her back to life, they sort jumped to that conclusion. Moreover, you see, we enjoy the story more and more when our beloved hero does something hero-like and somewhere we just crave for that part of the story. So, people loved believing what they chose to believe.

**

'He was her dark fairytale and she was his twisted fantasy and together they made magic.'

Farah closed the book and stared deeply at me like she still was in the trance of the epic words of F. Scott Fitzgerald. I nudged my eyebrows at her through the mirror of this green room. She was sitting behind on the comfortable couch whilst I sat in my beige robe, swirling the drink in my hand.

"Such words, huh." Saying, I took a sip and walked in the hairdresser who started teasing my hair with the gel to make it stage-ready.

"I'll be honest, when you suggested me to read this book, I was little skeptical given the size of the book but now, good god, this is all I'm thinking of. I mean.... wow. How can love be so deep?" She was filled with content.

To that, I chose not to answer.

When a light knock poured on the door, I asked the person to enter who recently started irking me a little more than usual. Aryaman walked in his dark grey tucked in shirt that had a bit of a shimmer paired with a darker trouser.

"Don't mind if I bother you a little." He remarked looking at Farah, obviously making a bad hint at the fact that she was sitting behind closed doors with me.

She smiled innocently, shaking her head. "Sure. I was leaving anyway." She stood up to leave and slightly touched my shoulder to wish me luck. "I'll be enjoying the performance. Really looking forward. Rock it, huh."

Squeezing her hand as a mark of acknowledgment, I smiled lightly whilst Aryaman stood right next to me, watching.

"Oh, by the way!" Even though she was leaving, she took a step back to lean closer to Aryaman. "I guess, you'll enjoy this book incredibly well. It's all about love." My eyes shot up to them through the mirror.

Aryaman was obviously a little taken aback not understanding what she exactly hinted at. "Well, um, thank you?" Hesitant, he took the book to have a look at the title. We both were avid readers, something we inherited from our mother. After he saw the title, a smile played at the corner of his mouth. "Thanks, Farah. Even though I read it, I will enjoy rereading it, I promise."

Farah, in a friendly manner, placed her hand on his chest and leaned over to whisper. "Heard about your little romance going on the set. Congratulations."

Uneasy, I looked away. The smile on Aryaman's face faltered but it came back again which was a proof itself that he was aware of all the rumors that have been playing around. Surprisingly, that smile was not the kind to just show off to me, it felt genuine.

"Do you approve?" He asked her jokingly.

"With a huge green flag." She smiled charmingly. "She seems amazing. You're one lucky guy—"

"Careful!" They stopped hearing me snap out of the blue and it was quite awkward for me too because I was not sure at what I snapped. Clearing my throat, I glared at the hairdresser through the mirror. "You are hurting me. Be careful."

As the stylist apologized quickly, I noticed they both were staring at me. Talk about awkwardness. Anyway, after a sweet few words, Farah left the green room leaving me with this idiot of a creature.

"Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed." Aryaman commented shuffling the magazine that laid next to my drink.

Lifting the glass, even though I wanted to throw the drink right at his face, I chose to pour it down my throat instead. In irritated times like this, I choose to drink because that will keep my mouth shut rather than talking some bullshit.

"What to say now...some of us aren't getting a right bed to sleep." He knew what I meant. I knew what I meant. Was I guilty? Hell no. It was just men-things.

"My bed hasn't felt better." He smirked and I wanted to smash the mirror right away.

Biting the inner walls of my cheeks, I looked up at his frame imagining how long will it take me to break him. "I'm surprised if that's as good as you claim, then how come you are even out of the bed?"

With a smug smile on his face, he bent over my shoulder and slightly massaged my other shoulder which did not help me calm a fucking bit. Even though I wasn't sure of anything yet, his breath falling on my shoulder spoke of Murthy's perfume and that nauseated me to my core. Damn it.

"I had to." He smirked. Damn it, he smirked. "For I had to come and remind you of not fucking up tonight's performance. It's bloody important for Dad. Overseas concerts are always a pocket-filler. Don't screw anything, and..." He slid the drink away and stood up to leave. "Stay sober."

As he left, I sat there, fuming. My blood curdled at the bed-jokes we made just now and even thinking that some of it might be true, that made me feel like someone punched me in my guts and leaked the air out of my system.

Just then, as the door cracked open again, I shouted throwing the goddamn hair dryer at the entering person. "Get the hell out of my sight!"

"Oh my God!" Screamed Abhimanyu. "I just now entered." But then having a simple look at my bloodshot eyes, he realized it was lot better to leave. "Um yeah..but okay. I can leave. I can always leave."

Taking the cue, even the hairdresser made a stupid excuse to leave for a minute but I didn't listen clearly because my mind was wrapped up in something totally else. Standing up, I pulled a vodka bottle out of my secret shelf and from my hanging shirt's pocket, I pulled out a strip. Popping out a few pills, I gulped it with raw vodka which initially, even though burned my throat but actually was nothing compared to what I felt inside. The more I thought about it, the more my mind went insane. I was about to take a sip but even that activity was too much to do when my mind was so busy picturing them in a bed. Growling, I hurled the bottle against the closed door. The bottle shattered in no time and I simply stared at the smashed pieces.

R A N D H I R

Calling Nandini was of no use. She didn't pick up any of my calls for the last two days and I doubted if she ever will. On one hand, I was worried about her safety but funnily, couldn't tell that to her parents because they already have gone through a lot. Nandini will be fine. While, on the other hand, my stress levels were on another level considering the fact that her parents now even started planning our engagement. God knows what communication actually happened between her parents and her yesterday night which made them pretty much convinced that Nandini consented to this event. Did she? Why would she?

"Excited?" Turning my face away from the phone, I found Navya looking quite excited herself.

"Doubt it. But petrified? Sure." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Aunty had a word with Nandini, you silly. Believe it with all your heart that you two are getting hitched." She jokingly slapped my arm and my mind went foggy for a moment.

"She seriously agreed?" To this, Navya nodded. My eyebrows furrowed a little. "Then why isn't she picking up my calls? Why didn't she tell her decision to me directly?"

"Ugh!" Pretending to be tired, Navya slapped her body on my couch. "Maybe she's busy. She's gone there to actually work, you dimwit."

"No no no, Navya..." Quickly, I sat beside her. "Something is just not adding up. See, things like this—I—I mean marriages and all, these are pretty serious stuffs. They happen in a certain way. They follow a protocol. I need to ask her personally, like-like..I don't know, maybe officially propose her or something? I don't know, okay? Her parents asking her and she conveying her views to them...in which era are will living?"

"Will you stop overthinking and complicating things yourself?" She sat up straight and patted my shoulder while I leaned over to rub my face, resting elbows on my knees. "Tell me on thing, Randhir. Do you want to marry her? Erm, tell me first, do you love her?"

Removing web of fingers from my face, I stared at the carpet. It was obvious. So very obvious. It had been obvious from the very start.

Navya read my silence and squeezed my shoulder as a reminder of her support. "Don't destroy it, then. You see, Nandini had fallen in love with a very toxic man since her teenage days. He broke her. Damaged her. Now, you can't expect her to function normally like any other undamaged, happy girl. She will react differently and we all have to bear with it. What is important in all of this is that...she has agreed to move on. Like, finally! And, she confessed to her mother that she wants to marry you unequivocally. So, please ya, cut her some slack and enjoy the happiness that finally found you two."

Thinking for the next couple of minutes, I shook my head and looked at her. "She told me you have been a pretty decent friend, you know." I smiled. She smiled too.

"Are you kidding? I have been awesome all my life. Coffee?" She stood up to leave after I nodded a yes. Navya was almost past the door when she took a step back to find me thinking, still thinking. "She will call you, Randhir. With time, it'll be as normal as other peoples' relationships."

Finally as I smiled with mild approval, she felt relieved and left for the coffees. I decided to give this a chance; to give our unsettled future a chance. Maybe, Navya was right. After what all Nandini went through, she probably grew a problem of facing her own decisions and that's okay because I was willing to take little steps along with her.

N A N D I N I

As I walked in the venue, it was a little awkward to be honest. Some of the members of the staffs liked me and some didn't. Some kept on whispering. Some buttered me a little like I could write their bonus cheques and some, cringed. But keeping all of this aside, there was a separate shockwaves running through my body. All around, there were Manik's posters and peeping through the stage curtains, when I saw girls screaming and losing their minds, somewhere in the crowd I could still think of the girl who stood amidst them in Chandigarh. I was one of them.

At that moment, I wondered that what if my world never collided with Manik's? I would have still idolized this person who in reality, was a parasite. These girls will never know who they are cheering for is not only a man bitten by darkness but is a prince of darkness himself. It's better for them that they watch him from afar and never actually get close. They deserve to have the purity and peace of their minds protected at all costs. Something.. that I will never ever get back.

"Hey girlfriend!" I almost screamed feeling the tap on my shoulder. Turning my head and pulling my face out of the curtains, I noticed Aryaman.

"Will you stop fanning these rumors?" I glared softly, placing hands on either sides of my bare waist.

"Nope." He shook his head, popping the 'p'. "It's too much fun."

"You are seriously gonna continue behaving like this high school teenager, aren't you?" I frowned lightly.

"I mean, after such a long time, I'm enjoying something, why should I stop?" He laughed and held my elbow lightly to move me a bit as the light man was carrying a heavy light past me.

"You men are so selfish. Do you even care how a girl feels?" I tried speaking with a bit dramatic touch.

"Woah woah woah!" He placed his hands in between us. "Don't play the girl card on me. Moreover, we men usually don't have a problem with these rumor things. I mean, why should we? If the girl is really hot and gorgeous. And, with you, I get a bonus. You're an intelligent one too. So, sure."

"Well....." I sounded I did not quite agree.

He sighed out loud looking above and then placed his hands on both of my shoulders. "I mean, I don't understand. You are one of the most beautiful girls I have met, in and out. Yet, must you always look down upon yourself?"

"I try not to. Trust me, I do but something just keeps holding me back." Mortified, I looked down at my feet.

"Hey..." He touched my chin and helped me look at him. "Do you know why you are still hung up with the bad things and still hating parts of yourself which other people can worship? It's because..you're holding the grudge inside of you. Once you let go of that, Nandini, you will fly again."

His words touched me differently. Lingering on his words, I finally spoke. "How do I do that? Fly again?" I did not care if I sounded needy or desperate. I needed to feel alive again.

Aryaman smiled and never looked more handsome. He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice. He was handsome from his generous opinions to the touch of his hand upon my soul. Yes, my soul.

"Think of your story backwards. How Manik un-broke your heart and then, how happy you were when you stayed in Chandigarh and then finally.... how you never had the slightest idea of who Manik was. If you think it backwards, the sharp edges of the broken glasses won't prick you much. It's all psychological."

Aryaman should have known what peace he brought to me with his words. To know that there remained a remedy that would free me of all my pains and sufferings tasted like remembrance of oxygen.

We were in the middle of the stage - talking, when suddenly we saw the rumor gang approach nearby. They were talking work but we knew these five people were the original ones who actually spread the rumor and I couldn't help but notice the mischievous look clouding my boss's face; his handsomeness still stayed intact.

"Oh ho, Nandini!" He sang out loud, grabbing their attention. Now, he had them totally. "I told you a million times, you look fantastic. Like a-like a dream? Will you stop doubting yourself?"

"I never did. I know I look absolutely stunning." I whispered sharply.

"Hush." He reacted quickly and whispered back. "You're such a spoil sport!"

Rolling my eyes, I decided to give in to his stupid play. For once, I wanted to do something silly with a man I trusted. Inching up my toes, I touched the loose hairs on his forehead and for a strong solid moment, I could tell he was taken aback for he couldn't look away.

"Why is your hair always messed up the first?" I tried lightly arranging them and we could feel the whispers soaring higher. I won't lie that it was a little little fun. All my life I wanted people to not talk ill of me but now that I stopped caring, it felt fun.

"You prefer my hair this way, don't you?" His finger softly touched my bare waist and my fingers on his forehead froze for a second. I felt a man's touch after a long long time.

Rolling my eyes, I tried to think of a quick catchy line but my eyes shifted upwards as the focus light shone brightly upon us. Gulping lightly, I looked around to see who else found this equally embarrassing when I quickly registered that a second focus light lit up another area of the stage and on a particular someone.

With hands dipped in his pockets, dark sunglasses covering the emotions in his eyes, if any, Manik stood under the bright moon-like lighting and at the moment, a vivid realization dawned on me that perhaps, we even shared the different moons, let alone the worlds.

Lowering my toes down, I pulled away my hand from Aryaman's forehead who also withdrew his hands from around my waist. The only sound that conquered the screaming of the crazy fans coming from the other side of the thick, dark red curtains were the sounds of his polished boots. As he walked towards us, even his moonlight came closer to my own.

I couldn't understand what he was exactly seeing because of his dark sunglasses but for all I knew, he looked straight at me. Not moving. Not breathing. Not reacting.

You were always this forbidden fruit, Manik and I stood before you, as if I were Eve. I was so lost in your space once that it made me forget the map of my own world. You gave me a twin sunset with a beautiful hint of a sunrise and every time I stood in the shore awaiting to watch it, thunderstorms came booming at my window and ruined my garden. You painted me with blood and I never felt myself to be so priceless; thinking my beautiful canvas deserved to stay in a museum but whenever you left, you made the painting feel so unworthy that it kept me awake at nights, terrorized by the horror of the red stains that I feared I'd never get rid of. But like you say, Manik, every movie comes to an end and probably, with Aryaman's words today, I found the map to chase that end.

As I was lost in my thoughts, mouthing a quick best of luck, it was Aryaman who grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the situation while Manik kept staring at the empty space on which I stood a moment ago.

Strangely, I did not look behind at him because in my heart, I made up my mind to not waste a single moment of my new shot at life on him. Old Nandini possibly deserved what all he did to her but this new Nandini, will not let herself get treated like some rich narcissist's prized possession. My eyes moved to Aryaman who was holding my hand and leading me ahead and that could be interpreted in so many ways. I was leaving you behind, Manik, did you at least realize?

M A N I K

I did, Murthy. I did.

You were slowly abandoning the journey of my witchcraft, the one I laid so carefully for you. And.. you, as a comet was going to collide with someone else's earth... and it showed. 

It started hurting me different than all the previous goodbyes spoken in my life and even though I had the whole world at my feet, thousands of heartbeats speeding up to have a glance at me, thousands of arms prepared to give me shelter right here right now, yet, it felt like I had nowhere to go.

N A N D I N I

I won't lie that I did not initially want to stay for the concert but leaving would mean more, so I chose to stay. I chose to stay for myself and nobody else.

Aryaman escorted me to the vip section of the stadium where Farah was already waiting for us. As I took a seat between her and Aryaman, she gave Aryaman a thumbs up who reciprocated the gesture with a salute. Feeling silly, I shook my head at Aryaman who quickly turned to his right to catch up with his friends who were seated long before we joined them. We were offered drinks and I helped myself with a beautiful glass of red.

Farah, quickly started to chat with me and I figured, she was not as bad as I imagined her to be. She was making fun of the fact that we were sitting so close to the woofers and that once the concert would begin, we, no longer will be left with functional ears.

"I'm telling you, I have gone through his playlist for tonight. The basses are gonna kill us." She laughed shaking her head but as the screaming of the fans started roaring higher and higher, we both cringed our faces and looked behind at the unmanageable crowd.

Once, I used to be one of them; not knowing what I was signing up for. A silent message floated from my heart to them that they mustn't let themselves get fooled and be bitten by the darkness. I repeated - Manik was not only touched by darkness. He was the prince of darkness himself and I prayed for their naive souls who idolized a monster.

"It's crazy, isn't it?" Farah drove my attention back to her.

"What is?" I asked with a polite smile.

"Manik is loved by so many people. I mean, the love he has...look at these fans, they will do anything for him and how wonderful is that. Sitting in the dressing room knowing very well that outside they are thousands of people who all gave up on their evenings to just have a glance, who are praying to their gods to touch a piece of him. He's so lucky." Then she thought a little carefully wondering if she too will be the centre of attention of this crowd once she becomes famous and then she uttered. "It's equally scary, isn't it!"

"Disturbing horror is called an art too." When I said, she couldn't help but nod largely after a pause.

Before she could say a word of agreement, the anchor came on the stage and the cheers touched the sky. The anchor continued to drop all words of praises for the one man, people have been waiting with bated breaths for. Keeping aside all my negative thoughts about him, it was true. Whatever roles Manik touched on screens, he turned them epic and maybe, he was this disgusting human being but as an actor and performer, he was a legend and he knew it. He just walked and every time, people handed their hearts to him and they didn't care what he would do with them. I did. Probably, that's why I brought all those sufferings on me.

"So, are you guys ready to witness the superstar in flesh and blood himself?" The crowd went insane and I went back to the day when I was also screaming as a part of the crowd. It felt like yesterday.

"So, consider your wish has been granted. So, Melbourne, here we give you the legend himself...." All I kept remembering was the day I stood in the front line and it was a fucking deja vu. "....MANIK MALHOTRA!!"

Something bursted all over the stage and the neon green and blue smokes blinded our visions. Farah jumped in her seat as the loud welcome music started to play and I kept staring at the entrance zone. If I wanted, I could look away but tonight, I wanted to look at him with a different point of view from the beginning. I wanted to see him for he was right from the start but that did not happen and the crowd eventually, turned quiet and into a pin drop silence.

The anchor called the superstar's name again but he didn't show up. He did not.

30 minutes later :

It was absolute chaos in the backstage. Complete mayhem. Things were disorganized to say the least and people were panicking and shouting at one another for no good reason.

"Everything I feared happening, happened." Hearing Aryaman's huge thunderous tone, I turned around to find him absolutely misplaced.

"I..I'm sorry, sir." Lowering his head, Abhimanyu apologized and silently, my heart broke. Handling Manik was beyond him yet he always tried to do his very best and tonight, Manik would do something like this...one couldn't have guessed in their wildest dreams.

"You!" Aryaman pointed his finger out of frustration at Abhimanyu. "What good are you if you can't handle your goddamn boss? I mean, why are you still employed?"

Abhimanyu shivered in fear and walking towards them, I stood in between and placed my hand on Aryaman's chest to move him slightly away from my friend. "Aryaman, don't lash out at him. Don't you know your brother? Don't you know when he makes up his mind, it's in nobody's power to undo the same? Don't scream at him, Abhimanyu tried his best."

"No, Nandini..." Abhimanyu sighed. "I've let everyone down. He told me to get him his protein shake before the show and-and knowing his nature, I shouldn't have left his side."

Turning to Abhimanyu, I squeezed his sunk shoulder. "Hey, don't be so harsh on yourself. You couldn't have known."

"Manik..." Then I turned around again to find Aryaman stepping backwards, rubbing his face to help the frustration. "How dare he be so selfish? How can someone just not care at all, Nandini? How can someone always..always let people down?"

"You calm down, first. We'll think of something." Turning to his other assistant, Dhruv, I requested him to get Aryaman some water because I still was supporting Abhimanyu who had no one by his side.

"Think of something?" Aryaman snapped immediately. "We have sent dancers on the stage and they have barely managed to keep the crowd engaged. Do you think the fans are that much of idiots? They'll catch it like this, Nandini.... at the snap of a finger." He expressed his anger while snapping his fingers. Sympathetically, I kept looking.

Tapping my arm, Abhimanyu caused me to turn back to him. "I'm not worried about the show or the fans or the organizers, Nandini." He whispered to me and I paid close attention. "Manik sir was carrying things with him."

Clueless, I whispered back. "What things?"

Tensing the look on his face, he repeated. "Things." And, that made me look here and there to grasp the seriousness of the situation.

"He was very disturbed about something and the last every time he looked this disturbed, news came flashing all over that he...overdosed himself. I'm worried sick about him, Nandini and not about other material stuffs. I want the man to be safe." He voiced poorly.

Since the matter involved drugs and we were on international waters, I chose to spoke rather quietly. "Where-where do you think he can be?"

"I don't know?" He whispered back. "Street joints? Cheap dealers? Strip bars? Who knows?"

Not finding the right word, I seriously didn't know what to say. I disliked him but I didn't want him to ruin his reputation or die. I loved that man once and it can't be reduced to this inhumanity that I don't give a damn hearing that maybe he is in danger.

"Abhimanyu," I pulled him to one side while everyone around us was going crazy panicking or calling here and there or simply consoling Aryaman. "You and I need to leave. Now. We must find him."

"We must." He repeated with determination. "But, let's not tell your boss anything about it right now. He's mad as a dog at Manik Sir and on top of it, if he finds out about drugs, god knows what he will do."

Looking behind at a very stressed Aryaman, I nodded. "Moreover, he's preoccupied anyway. Let's not burden his mind anymore."

"Let's go." Abhimanyu uttered.

Telling Aryaman that I was just going outside to try our lucks and see if we found Manik, I quickly took the exit road. He did not stop me because like I said, his mind was already occupied with so many other things.

Escaping through the back door, Abhimanyu and I stayed staring around. "Where now?" I asked.

"There's no point going together. We'll waste more time. It'll be better that you go a certain direction and I go on another but let's keep in touch." He said in a breath and clearly feeling nervous.

"Okay." I agreed with heavy breaths but I quickly clarified one thing. "Wait..um, I kind of lost my phone ever since my little accident two days ago and I'm functioning with this burner phone. So call me here, okay?"

Readily, he nodded. "Sure thing." Like that, we went on separate ways to get an answer or even better, drag the answer along.

For a second, I asked myself why was I still running around the streets looking for him? Earlier, I would have answered something different but tonight, it was only for Aryaman. After what all he did for me, I owed him this much.

1 am :

Moonbeams kissed the blacktop road into the deepest grey. The darkness on the streets started haunting me as the terror awaited in every corner. In some of the narrow alleys, I was followed, in some - I was harassed by catcalls and in some, stood simply the disappointment. As tiredness ate my body, the spirit was somewhere dislocated. Moreover, since the battery of this stupid disposable phone even ran out, there was no point in going on cluelessly.

Worn out, I entered the stadium thinking everyone will still be there but I was wrong because it was dark and lonely. Then, I glanced over my wristwatch and it was twenty minutes past one. Understandable. However, could Aryaman also leave?

In search of an answer, I decided to walk towards the green room where I last saw him but alas, the room was already locked. Slamming against a few backstage prop pieces, I tumbled down on the floor. Picking myself up, I rubbed my knees a little and decided to leave.

Probably I would have left and never found out what was about to happen next but destiny had it planned otherwise. Out of the blue, something ignited to life and through the brilliant path of darkness, the spotlight beamed hurting my eyes from the centre of the stage. Covering my eyes, I quickly blinked once, twice and then thrice. Not saying that I was not afraid but there was a certain comfort in the shade. Daring to look, I moved my hand down and the entire world felt inaccessible to me. My brain chemicals sent a signal that the situation was sufficient enough to feel unprotected.

On the stage, under the dream-like spotlight sat a tall figure on a high stool with its head facing the floor. Amidst the shadows lurking around, he kept sitting as if he knew a hundred fireflies would light his path.

The prince of darkness sat alone, only to be reborn.

I stood quiet in the gallery of the seats, not speaking a word when suddenly the face looked right at me. With pains of third-degree burns, those eyes found mine, from light to the dark. Those eyes initially left my body in shock because unlike the usual acid rain, they poured out defeat. Manik sat there like an angel who had his wings cut off and whose breath conveyed a scent of melted flesh.

Unswayed, my heels steadily clicked against the floor as they took me towards the stage and soon enough I was climbing up the stairs. How did I cover this journey from a fangirl's gallery to a superstar's stage? My velocity turned impulsive and in no time, I stood facing him. It was not difficult to look him in the eyes now that he remained sitting. Detoxing the months of pain like an old uncomfortable skin I wanted to rip off since long, my palm closed in a firm fist to knock him once, I knew it won't affect him much but I could try for whatever it's worth.

I swear I could hit him and I wanted to but all of a sudden, my fist loosened and I turned around to walk away. For once I felt at peace walking away until I heard the once so-very-confident voice speak up so faintly that it hardly reached me.

"It was never a metaphor," The breath rasped in his throat when I turned around to him. "when I said your soul will be final grave."

On his shoulders laid an army of defeat. We could spend the sweetest life together and yet, here we were talking about death.

"What do you want, Manik?" Quiet and composed, as if the roles had reversed, I asked him standing in between the rows of red cushioned chairs. By that time, the question even vanished from my mind that I needed to actually ask him where he had been and why did he put everyone through what he did tonight.

His eyes shot up at me, invading the darkness I stood surrounded by. "I want to hurt you. Bad... Physically." His lower jawline tightened as if he really meant it but his eyes waxed a look of weakness and dejection. "But, I can't stomach it."

Calm, I responded. "That I know. Always had known."

You in fact did hurt me more than once, Manik.

"No, you don't?" His eyes glistened with a little moisture and I wondered if the cameras were on somewhere and he was giving another award winning performance. "You don't see. You don't see anything at all. You don't see that I exist. I exist. In a thousand agonies."

Demonic terror engulfed me as I took steps again that led me to the warlock himself. This time it was easier because for some unspoken reason I was aware that my heart would be okay. It would be shielded from his dark witchcraft.

"How can I? When you have always been a nightmare within a nightmare?" Standing before him, my presence towered over his weakness.

He smiled softly and it was strange because it was not his signature smirk. "Everything about me is unholy, eh?" Shaking his head, he read my face up and down. "I am sick at heart, I accept."

"I hate lingering on the topic but I need to ask you this to bring peace to my own mind and move on for good. What have you ever expected from me? Have you ever even had any expectation from me at all?"

His gloom was not like a butterfly but instead, it was like a dark terrifying cave and it got confirmed when he blew that soft sigh. "Move on?" As if he was pained at the thought and his bottom lip quivered but then he took a moment to get his mind back to my other jabbing words. "Truth is, you are pretty much the only person I ever expected anything from. But sadly, they killed your faith that you once had in me. Murthy, I let you see the darkness in me that I restrict others from even faintly knowing. I have let you see it all. And, you stayed. And, it was heavenly. When they called me a monster and I turned back and asked you if I were. You told me, you are not a monster, Manik. But you know, what I really expected you to say? ... Manik, monster is not such a terrible thing."

Hearing him, I didn't know what it was but I was physically incapable of remaining stood. My body ached with what I didn't have the slightest idea of. He broke the naive girl in me, he hurt my father. How could I ever call his monstrosity to not be bad? Rotating, I moved around to go for the final time.

Frozen in my motion, I feared turning back again when I heard a noise but I knew I anyway would when that voice cried out. It was always the same with him, moving to and fro in the circle of life; the chain that I needed to break.

"Nandini."

For the first goddamn time.

Murmuring prayers of not falling back, I took the half circle turn and my prayers stopped when I registered the fact that he was standing close. What could I say? How could I make him leave? Did I need to say hurtful things?

When all of these things occupied my mind, an audible gasp choked my brain and body as I watched his tall, proud, godly frame disintegrate into pieces and slowly slide down onto his knees before me. I was physically too much challenged to gulp the shockwaves down my body. He kept his face facing his knees as if he was finally kneeling down before the god he was supposed to.

As if he were sedated, in a slow manner, he lifted his hands and lightly touched mine as if I were too precious to be held. He treated me like a god and in my eyes, he was nothing better than a sinner.

Careful, he grazed my fingers before his lips quivered and I knew words failed him too. But, he needed to speak for both of us even though I had no idea of what was coming. However, whatever came next threw me off the clip that I could never catch any branch of a tree.

"Forgive me."

My existence shivered.

It showed that he fought against his pride to look up at me but when he did, it was clear that he had no ounce of proud whatsoever left in him. He was bare. He was naked. He was hollow. He was new.

"My God is not big enough to forgive my sins but I know...you are bigger than my god." For once, there was no darkness in his eyes because I evidently saw my own reflection in them. "I'm asking you to forgive me even though my soul within me is burning and the monster is strangulating my throat. I'm asking you to wash the bloods off my hand and take away the ashes from my mouth."

"Manik..." Whispering and shaking my head in a soft no, I was moving backwards when his fingers stopped such movement and he begged for something I couldn't understand.

"I had the entire world today at my feet. Yet, I had nowhere to be. I was running away. I am tired? Tired of myself. My masks—my masks are suffocating my natural breathing process and I never felt so dead like I did today. My own existence haunted me today, Murthy. Forgive me and set my pride free. Defeat this scumbag in me and mark your victory because probably this is the single most time in my life, that I have become afraid of myself." His breaths faltered but his words didn't. "Afraid...because I can't sleep at night after knowing what I have done to you."

"I don't-I don't know what to say." My voice grew fainter than before. It was so unexpected. He was so unexpected.

"It's okay if you don't but just know, I want you to." He urged.

"What happened all of a sudden?" Was all I could manage to ask.

"Today I felt myself like a house more than like a person." He smiled at his shame. "I decorated my body and face to stand before the world to hide my damaged walls and empty spaces. My heart seemed like a door with changed locks because I have made multiple keys for people who have walked in and just as I was about to get up on the stage, I feared and prayed to god that please don't let my eyes become the windows to this house; I feared people would see all of my flaws which I earlier thought were godly. So, I left leaving the oven of the kitchen on and tried to forget about the world because my mind felt like the smoke detector with the way my apprehensions never stopped working. I smelt the smoke but I-I couldn't see it. All my life, I believed that my monstrosity is godly and gifted and I was more than enough. I believed that I was a beautiful wildfire but the real terror set inside of me today when I—when I realized that I was simply a house made of straw."

What more could a damaged person like him say? It was enough. And for once, it was real.

True, my heart broke into a million pieces but not like a girl who used to love him beyond sanity. Instead, my heart broke more as a human. Oddly, Aryaman's words repeatedly played round and round in my mind and it'd be accurate to say that... I was hurting this long because like Manik, I was also holding onto the smashed pieces of glass even though they made me bleed. I refused to believe that I was hurting or that I could probably heal even though the answer laid right before me. If I wanted to stop the hurting, I would have to let the pain go first. It is only by forgiving Manik that I can bring back Nandini to life and make her fly like Aryaman said. It was time to rip the band aid off because probably, the wound has healed.

Placing my hand on his shoulder, I kneeled down before him and spoke the words that even my own inhibitions hindered me from pronouncing. The pain wanted to stay but I had already pushed the windows open.

"I forgive you, Manik."

Heavens knew it, the peace I felt inside as soon as the words left my mouth. True that the sparks of fear still electrified my body but it felt like suddenly, I received back everything that I had lost. The hurting stopped. The tearing stopped. The blame-game stopped. The hatred stopped. The darkness in me too ...stopped.

A R Y A M A N

Nothing about this was ever going to be easy. Evil appeared in an interesting way and it wore masquerade this time. And, little did the two of them know that they did not succeed in blindfolding the monster. It was rather the monster untying the knots.

Swiping the single rolling tear off my cheek, I dumped Nandini's phone in the trash bin while my eyes still were looking at them, learning the multidimensional angles and edges of this story.

•    •

Hello, wonderful people! First of all, let me apologize for I have been far away from Wattpad for so long. I was really really busy and let's say, not in a very happy mindset. But, thank you for sticking with the book and me. Can't appreciate you all in words. Sorry if I offended anyone in the process. Just know, it wasn't intentional. Now, if you'll make those comments and hit the star, it'll help me staying engaged with the story and encourage to go farther.

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Stay safe, healthy and happy.

Love,
Rai.
Hugs.