1 month later

N A N D I N I

"Where the hell are you, Aaliya?" I fretted leaving her the twelfth voice message within a span of half an hour "You better show up within the next ten minutes."

Things were not going as planned. Nothing was happening as it should have. Here, I was hiding in the washroom of this nice Italian restaurant since past fifteen minutes praying to Lord for Aliya to show up every second. We were to have a conference with a sponsor over lunch and she decided to ditch me at the right time. Great!

As I peeped through the door, I could clearly see the weird guy awaiting my return from the washroom but I just couldn't without having Aaliya by my side. There was something off about this guy and the way he wore that bow tie just for the sake of a conference early in the afternoon strengthened my hesitancy.

'Let me call Aaliya one more time' Telling myself, I dialled her digits waiting for that stupid caller tune to end. Impatience was taking a toll on me as I kept switching between peeping and biting my nails until I heard a beep from the other side.

"I'm so sorry, Nandini. I don't think I'll be able to make it today. Not feeling well ya." She spoke in her lazy way without giving me a chance to interrupt.

"What? Why on earth are you unwell today?" Anxiety was clear in my tone.

"What do you mean by that? A fever doesn't serve a 7 day notice?" I rolled my eyes. Duh!

"Can't you come for at least ten minutes? I don't know much about this project and this man is alone here without his team which is awkward." I gave a side to a lady entering the washroom. By that time, the housekeeper even started gaping me suspiciously thinking I was perhaps there to plant some bomb or things like that.

"Babe, I can't get up from bed ya. My head is heavy and I'm gonna see doctor soon. And so what if he is without his team? You are alone too. Don't you worry, my tigress. Everything is there in that blue file, so you chill okay? Please manage this one time, pretty please? I'll owe you this one, I swear." She coaxed, hard. A sigh was all I could do tapping my foot.

"Yea whatever! You take care, okay? See ya." Disconnecting the call, I turned towards the mirror one more time, displeased at the choices on my plate. Why couldn't we hold the meeting at the conference hall at Grey Petals only!

✯

"So, if you ask me from the marketing point of view which is my forte, I think the branding which your company is laying out is on point." I ducked closing my file.

"Thank you, Ms.Murthy but I must say you are much sharper than what I expected you to be." I stopped signing the papers for a moment to look up at him.

"And..why did you exactly expect me to be?" This question was obvious but he might not have seen it coming since his eyes broadened.

"Oh no no! That came out wrong. I meant it as a compliment, trust me." He laughed putting one hand on his chest shaking his head and I plastered a small smile continuing my signature.

"So let's order now?" He asked and since our job was done, it had to be the food time irrespective of how much I wanted to evade. Food is something which should be eaten either alone or around people you are comfortable with. Not when, you are stuck with some stranger who mostly seems weird pushing his spectacles on the bridge of his nose.

"Sure." I sighed watching him nod his hand at the waitress.

I never had much fuss about ordering food at restaurants so whenever the menu card was in my hands, I exactly knew what to order. I watched the waitress who had braided her hair nicely was jotting down our orders on a little pad.

"And, water normal or mineral?"

"Miner-"

"No no no, Ms.Murthy what are you doing?" I gawked him cluelessly who once again pushed his glass over his nose.

"Mineral water is nothing other than a hoax which comes in pretty plastic bottles and nothing else. There is no calcium, magnesium or ion present in it. These people just react as if you are some beggar if you don't buy their bottled waters but don't forget some manganese, sulphur, arsenic aren't still removed even though they charge exorbitantly for the same bottle which we get outside at one third of its price. See, on the back of the bottled water you won't ever see any removal of bacteriostatic agents nor addition of carbon dioxide but if the water isn't disinfected properly like they claim then why would you purchase the same at their instance?" My lower jaw was hanging almost till the table and the waitress, simply glaring.

".....Right." I bobbed, yet confused. "Tap water, please?" The waitress gave me a pathetic look as in with whom are you wasting the precious time of your day. Right so.

"See, Ms.Murthy what happens is that the water which you-"

"No no no, Mr.Tiwari. I understand. I completely understand." I showed him my thumb in absolute petrification of him starting his science lecture all over again.

"You are intelligent, I must say. But you know I was reading this article on distilled water the other day and something shocked me......."

I shook my hear in disbelief trying to still look into the conversation. What sort of punishment is it?

M A N I K

"Hmm. The cavities are wholly removed from the injured lobe of your lung. The reports seem good but not very good." The Doctor nodded sticking his eyes to the reports while I looked the other way in boredom lying on this useless hospital bed.

"And there's this other good news too. You're going to get discharged tomorrow morning and this has happened only because of your father's insistence to get you all the special treatments at home." He smiled but that soon turned into frown.

"Is that a cigarette burning in between your fingers?" He snatched it away making me hiss. "Have you got mad, Manik? You had your lung operated just fifteen days back!"

"And I don't understand who had the audacity to get you one even? Has anyone forgotten this is a hospital?" His furious eyes turned to Abhimanyu who started coiling.

"Hello, white apron? Talk to me. And.... I'm so bored ya!" I stretched my arms yawning.

"Your lungs are still weak, Manik. When will you get that? And why are you so irked when you have every sort of entertainment here? You have television, playstation installed, lots of fresh fruits, iPad, iPod, iPhone, magazines, friends and relatives visiting you everyday. And not to forget, nurses with who you flirt shamelessly." I smirked playfully watching his pointed finger at me.

"That's the thing no, Doc. Flirting only doesn't jumpstart me, you know. It's a starter and I'm starving for the main course." I smiled and he nodded hopelessly.

Soon after he left, I whistled Abhimanyu to come closer. "Get me another one and hide it in a better place this time."

"No Sir." He stepped back. "I'm sorry if I'm being rude but this time I'm not scared if you will fire or punish me because to me your health is more important and please forgive me but I can't obey you this time."

He stood lowering his head expecting me to lash out at him but fixing my pillow, I sat up adjusting my back with a suppressed smile on my lips. For once, it felt good in a way when he disobeyed me because of my own reasons.

"Very well, loser. Now do one thing and pour me some apple juice, will you?" Right away he obeyed.

I smiled to myself observing him. Entire twenty four hours of mine was completely dependent on him not because he was my right hand, left hand and every possible limb but because he was trustworthy and it was a rare thing these days.

Rolling the magazine in my hand, I threw it aiming him which hit his butt.

"Pass me my iPad." I ordered.

"Right, Sir." He unlocked it and since he was my personal assistant it was his daily job to read me out my important reminders and messages.

"Sir, you've got a video from an unknown number. Shall I play it?" Receiving a nod from me, he played and immediately locked the screen again.

"What, somebody leaked my nudes or what?" I was nonchalant.

"Sir, it's a video of.. Nandini." I twitched my brows.

"Ah, my entertainment package!" I smirked. "How's she doing? Haven't seen her visiting me since the time I gained consciousness."

"Um..The video is of her and another man eating outside and seems..um..like-like a date, maybe?" He seemed thoughtful worrying why'd someone send me her video recording.

"Like a date, maybe?" I repeated. "Show." He passed soliticiously.

There was this unknown curiosity in me to find out who she was going out with lately since I wasn't around anymore. Was the guy good? Was she seeing him a lot lately?

Playing the video, I kept gaping at the screen rubbing my chin and trying to figure out who he was since the video mostly covered Murhty and the arm of another guy in formals. I felt the spirit of enquiry heightening in my chest. What could the face of the owner of such arm be like? Someone good looking?

The video kept focusing on her face and I, meticulously observed that Murthy have had a nice haircut. I was seeing her after so long. Definitely, for the first time after I got this re-life. But the second the camera zoomed on the face of such guy, I could-

"Is he the one she went on a date with?" I asked Abhimanyu who confirmed once again peeking over the screen.

"Are you sure?" I asked trying to suppress my laughter. He assured again.

"Really sure?" I questioned again immediately breaking into a fit of chortling holding the iPad to my chest.

"This...is the...guy?" I spoke in between my laughs. It was probably a decade later I laughed this hard that tears came out from the corners of my eyes.

Clearing my voice "Anyway, you take this day off. You are going to have to tackle me from tomorrow onwards, full fledged." He smiled gratefully proceeding to leave but I still hadn't fully recovered from my mirth.

"Abhimanyu?" He rotated at my call. "Did she really not come to see me? I mean, I might have been sleeping or..." I kept spinning the iPad around on the tip of my index finger.

He looked down "I don't have such knowledge."

I swallowed and the iPad fell on my lap. "It's all right, you leave."

Something in me turned off as all I recalled were the words she spat out the time I saw her last; the night of my accident. She didn't come to see me even for once? But she was the one who brought me here. Maybe- maybe she did that on humanitarian ground but what if she actually meant those words she blurted out that night? What if hatred was all she had left for me in her? One month was a long time for someone to dig deeper and maybe, she graduated in hating me, like other people.

Maybe, the monster in me succeeded in pushing her away.

But then, why was the human in me not happy about it?

N A N D I N I

"Oh, that's a nice research by the way. But um it's late. They'll be starting dinner anytime. I think we should leave." There was nothing alive in me anymore after so many hours of torture. Can someone believe that this man kept speaking bullshit since all these hours and no matter how much I tried to run away I couldn't. Know why? Because professional ethics tied my goddamn hands.

Thankfully, my words went into his thick skull. After he left, I wasted a few minutes since I didn't want him to offer me a ride.

"Excuse me, mam?" The same waitress who served our table and tolerated that weirdo walked up to me.

"Ah- you were the one who took Manik Malhotra to hospital, no?" The file from my grip slipped. I ducked, absent minded. His name hit a nerve in a my body I never knew I had.

"That's so cool. I saw you on news that night of the accident. How's he doing now? I'm his huge fan by the way." I avoided her enthusiastic gaze but my pulses rushes at the mention of his name.

What could I tell her that I haven't visited him since admitting that night? How could I tell it to anyone that every day and night I kept blaming myself for that terrible night? That I made myself a vow to stay away from him since those words haunted me mercilessly.

I kissed you and embraced death. Look, where your love got me!

My insides shivered and without telling her anything, fidgeting the strap of my handbag, I walked out of the restaurant leaving her behind, puzzled.

❦

Like every other night when returning from office, I was crossing the same hospital and tonight wasn't an exception when I chose to not look at that direction even though it hammered and begged my heart to.

Maybe, in another universe I deserved him. But the truth was I missed him with my entire existence. It was not that type of missing where one craves to be close to someone, the type of missing where one would do anything to hear their voice. To some extent it was my biggest mistake as well to leave someone behind who meant the world to me but that love needed to be protected at all cost. Even if it was me he needed to stay safe from. I shut my eyes feeling my throat choke as I was passing by the hospital but why not like other days, avoiding the same could be less tough?

"Bhaiya, stop." The cab halted with a force but my own decision shocked none but me.

The world could get deafened by the loud thumping of my heart as I reached near the reception. I scolded myself for because each step was taking me closer to him.

"Yes, where else do I need to sign? Hope all the formalities.... Nandini? Hey?" Abhimanyu's voice startled me at the reception who was busy signing papers.

"Um hi, Abhimanyu." I gave a small smile.

"Came to meet sir, haven't you?" He grinned. "Go upstairs and you know where to." I shook my head trying to say my purpose was just to know about his health.

"Visiting hour is over." The receptionist informed from behind the desk.

"C'mon? She's Manik sir's visitor?" The lady sighed and then smiled at me.

'Stop Nandini. Please please please no.'

'What the hell are you doing? You are not going into the elevator.'

'Nandini, you have lost it! You came here just to know about him and not see him.'

'Let him be! Why can't you leave him alone? He doesn't deserve the burden you always put on his shoulder.'

'Nandini, enough. No. Back off. Don't. Don't go near his VIP room.'

I closed my ears at once trying to shush all those voices in my head; they were misleading. I agreed that I made myself a promise but I would just see him from a distance and it's not that I was going to sit on his lap. Guess, seeing him just for once would do no harm. I needed to see him not for anything but for me; it's been so long.

The floor was secured by bodyguards and police protection; practically the entire floor was out of reach of any common patient. Hell, it even restricted most of the hospital staffs barring some. When one of the guards stopped me, the other asked him to let me in because Abhimanyu by then informed them about my visit.

There were stitches on my guts and suddenly they were all breaking apart at the realisation that I was only a door away from him.  Every time my weak, trembling fingers reached the door, a recollection of Manik lying in that pool of blood broke my courage. What if he still was hurting? Fighting an urge with my indecision, I slightly pushed the door and a whimper fell out my lips until I bit one of them hard.

It was like fresh oxygen to my damaged respiratory system finding him sitting on that deluxe bed with his back resting on the headboard. I palmed my mouth trying to settle my emotions within but the more I noticed him, the more havoc it caused. How could someone look so so divine in spite of lying on a hospital bed for one whole month!

His soft hair was a little messy but unlike I expected, he had no sign of stubble on his face. He was clean shaved looking ecstatic in that blue uniform. The fingers of his right hand loosely held his iPad lying on his thigh, the left hand loosely holding a fork which stabbed a freshly cut apple but his eyes which were hugging reading glasses glued to the television screen watching a football match. Every time his voice hissed as the player was about to score a goal but his lips flattened finding no luck in scoring so. My heart melted at this sight and it was more like someone draining a bucket of ice water on my aching burn.

I felt home.

"You are wasting all the cold air of the conditioner." His sudden utterance startled me although his eyes were on television.

"Who, me?" I blurted.

'No damn damn! You were to stay quiet. He might have addressed somebody else, you fool!'

"Who else in my life is as creepy as you are, otherwise?" His focus was absolutely on those twenty two players running after a ball.

It broke my barriers when putting aside all my irresolution, I stepped inside trying to make my footsteps silent.

"H-how are you?" I asked. The handbag slipped from my shoulder and scattered few files on the floor. Edgy, I set them inside my bag but my elbow knocked a bouquet from a little table nearby. Thankfully, I had it covered too.

He muted the television glancing towards me "I should be you asking you this, in fact. You seem more distressed than I am in spite of me sticking my ass to this ugly bed since past 1 month. So tell me.... how are you?" His eyes, a little soft as they studied me.

"I...I-you look much different now." I spoke instead. What a stupid way to start a conversation, Nandini!

"Sexier, I know." I chuckled at the choice of his words. He surely was not his grumpy self. My feet took a step back wanting to rest on the white couch behind as it was taking me a lot of strength to stand before him.

"Hey! Watch out. Watch out!" I jumped on my place thinking if the couch had a broken leg or something sprawled on it.

"Wh-what?" I quizzed timidly.

"Nothing, I was saying you can sit on that couch." My jaw dropped as I tried to gather a word out of my speechlessness whilst he bit his lower lip playfully.

Meekly, I sat. "So, you look quite pale today, Murthy. Bad date?" I frowned.

"Date?" I repeated. The crease of my brows fell flat realising to which exact date he was referring to. "Oh no! Please! That was anything but a date. It was-it was strictly professional. You know, one of those branding and marketing meetings." I corrected and he ducked slowly looking at the television.

He stared at the screen for quite some time letting the awkward silence hang in the air between us. "Hey, but...." his face revolved at me and I stopped fidgeting my fingertips in nervousness. "The last time I remember, you wanted to leave Grey Petals, didn't you?"

It was like someone punched the air out of my body. Shit. He remembered that? How could I tell him that all those were words of anger and didn't mean anything, at all but what if he made up his mind?

"Um you remember that?" Please say you weren't serious, Manik.

He smiled . "My dear, I had a lung surgery and not brain. Of course, I remember. So tell me what are you still doing with Grey Petals?"

I gulped. "I.. s-serving my notice period." What? This was all you could think of saying? Bitch, say sorry.

"What a good employee you are!" He smiled trying to keep a straight face. "But not to worry, I have made your life easier. You were stuck because of the termination letter, right? I signed that for you."

"What?" I stood up with shock written all over my face. "But you are in a hospital?"

"A boss can work from wherever he pleases. Moreover, I had a lot of free time. Hence, blah blah blah. Now go, see there are heaps of magazines on that corner table, you'll find a white envelope there." He directed.

"No...." I whined.

"Go." He scolded like a mother and like a chocolate deprived kid, I walked past his bed glaring and begging.

"There are so many magazines!" I whined requesting him to drop the idea.

"And you have two hands." He shifted his attention back to the television although I could feel corner of his lips twitching as his eyes flickered between the match and me.

Please please please no. My life felt absorbed by a single touch of that white creaseless envelope. He really and finally got rid of me, didn't he?

"It's really here." I spoke in disbelief.

"Did you think I was kidding you earlier?" He frowned finding me become stiff.

"Open and read." Receiving his instruction, I gulped nodding faintly. "And for settling your final account, you know who exactly needs to be contacted at office. Sophia." My heart churned.

Fingers were sweating and I died a thousand times per second and every second felt like closer to another death. The silent room could overhear my heart thumping but how could he be so indifferent? Why couldn't he hear such? Did he spend these thirty days hating me? I knew the end was nearing at the speed of lightning.

My eyes popped out of my sockets and breathing got quicker.

"It's-It's blank?" I gawked turning the blank sheet the other way but it still was blank. "It's blank? Oh my God It's blank!" I laughed hysterically but the moment my eyes discerned his frowns, I rectified my frenzies.

I cleared my throat. "I mean..oh no! This is blank." I faked a pure dissatisfaction.

"What are you saying? Show me." I forwarded. "Oh! Abhimanyu must have gone confused and taken the original letter along. What a stupid duck!" He snorted. "Anyway, you'll get your copy of letter in the next two working days." My smile fell flat.

"No what I was saying is that.. si-since it's going to be two more days, another month is starting and it'll be difficult for Sophia to keep the accounts. Sooo, I can continue for this month, you know. Just this month." It was more like a plea than a proposal.

His eyes moved to my fidgeting palms and I didn't fathom when his hand pulled my body closer to his; my one hand resting on his chest while the other on his pillow. His touch was turning my world upside down.

His sins were great but my love, greater.

"I am confused, Murthy. Do you want to stay away from me or come close?" His arm snaked around my waist but my senses of all the rights and wrongs started fading away. How could I tell him that for him I would climb the highest mountain peak, swim the deepest ocean but still that won't be enough.

"I... I... what are you drinking?" I glimpsed over his glass. He twisted his neck to see what I was talking about.

"Just whiskey." He smirked letting me get up from him.

"No. You are kidding again." I smiled pensively "This is hospital and they won't let you have whiskey. It's apple juice, isn't it?"

"Who is this 'they' you are talking about and how would they stop Manik Malhotra?" He smiled crookedly taking a sip from the glass.

My eyes widened. "You are seriously having whiskey?"

"Try it and find out." He passed me his glass and tentatively, I held the glass bringing it closer to my lips.

He was quick enough to snatch it away. "God, you are such a suspicious woman! You are testing your own boss?" He shook his head in disbelief taking another sip but by then I already knew it was nothing other than apple juice by the smell of it.

"That was so petty." Casually, I hit his upper abdomen but my heart stopped as he cried in pain.

"Oh shit I have a stitch there. It's bleeding now." He worried.

"What?" Panic building up again. "H-how can I help you?" My breathing turned shallow.

"You have to stop the bleeding but first, you have to take my shirt off" He panted.

"Shall I call the nurse?" I sweated.

"Not much time." He leaned back holding his abs in pain. "You do it."

"Okay." I agreed readily. "Just keep instructing me the wa..." My fingers which were about to pull his shirt up stopped after realising he was making a fool out of me.

"Seriously?" I glared softly pinching the same spot and he laughed.

Time felt like those sands in the glass which kept flowing like ocean current and composing myself, I got back to sitting on the couch and he... watching the match. If time was a colour, I would call it blue because it's been without kindness and empty of him.

"So... how did you find out about my da-I mean, meeting with Mr.Tiwari?" I questioned staring at my hands.

"There are some answers we are better off not knowing." He replied, dignified. And then there was this awkward silence again dwelling between our spaces. I rubbed my knees trying to think of something but Manik seemed more reflective than I was and I could tell because of the way his eyes although they were stuck to the match yet not in the match.

"Why didn't you come and see me even for once?" He had my heart raced with that captivating look in his eyes. It seemed like less of a question and more of a silent complain or a feeling of dejection.

"I was scared." My head was hanging low.

"Of what?" His voice sounded heavier.

Of hurting you again.

"There are some answers we are better off not knowing." I answered, a little overwrought. He appeared to be severely hit by my choice of words and looked back at his match still trying to process everything inside.

"It's not like you-you expected me to show up. Did you?" I glanced at him fearful of his answer but expectation was the only colour coating my vision.

"No." His eyes were fixed at the television. I didn't know how to react. Our relationship was like a poison. He was a sweet heroine to which I was addicted ruthlessly.

"D-did you want me to?" I breathed heavily knowing he was again going to do to me what those waves do to a sandcastle.

His eyes met mine and I could feel the shine of a thousand galaxies locked in them. I was breathless.

"Every second."

His response got my knees weak which forced me to look away whereas his eyes still rested upon me. My heart ached to be again touched by him and it was a fact that I never wanted anything more than I wanted his heart secured in mine. The way his words touched my heart, I could feel it swelling at his genuine warmth and care.

"Um I-I think I should go." Holding my handbag, I awaited his permission which I received soon.

"Erm.. Murhty?" I revolved rapidly holding the doorknob. "Um tomorrow I am going to get discharged so I'll be working from home and since you are fully updated about the work so..."

I shrugged. "So what?" And there followed a sigh of irritation out of his mouth.

"Oh. Oh. Oh. Right" I slapped my forehead. "You want me to come and see you tomorrow, right? No- I mean scratch that, you want me to come and work with you, yeah right." I was about to jump up and down in contentment that he was not firing me. Finally.

"Your brain is very slow, I must say." He rolled his eyes plastering a smile to the corner of his lips. He looked beautiful doing that.

"No no, you don't worry. I will get every detail with me and you won't miss out on anything, I swear." I repeated pinching the skin on my throat.

"Get out now." He watched the match biting his lower lip trying his best not to smile. His beauty was contagious and my heart was already ailing with the most difficult of diseases.

"Yes, of c-ouch!" I fell down on the floor as my head banged against the door in excitement. God, I was so messy.

He sat up straight watching me from his bed rub my forehead still on the floor. I rubbed harder seeing white dots before my eyes.

"Do you want me to get out of my bed and hold you?" He asked but I shook my head. I needed to show him how strong of a woman I was. I could get up on my own.

"Fuck, are you about to faint? Please don't." He pleaded grumpily. I never thought these two words ever could fit in the same sentence until I met him 'plead' and 'grumpy'. Well.

I stood up forcefully still feeling a little giddy. "I am okay. I am okay." I assured and he leaned back on his headboard shaking his head at my impossibility.

"Do you want me to book a bed beside me here for you?" He asked but there was whole lot of taunt in it and I was sensible enough to grasp that.

"I am fine, I swear. Tomorrow at 11. Bye." I walked out of his room but he again called me back.

"Yea?" I blinked harder trying to make my vision clearer.

"While you are leaving, send the nurse inside." He simpered coquettishly.

'Why?" I scowled dubiously.

"Since you were shy enough to take my shirt off, she might as she has been doing that all these days." He chuckled watching me turn red.

"I am not doing anything of that sort. And.. I know it's been so long that you just can't wait to jump on your comfortable bed in your mansion with a lady in your arms." I huffed gritting my teeth.

"You never know I might want to jump on my comfortable bed in my mansion with you in my arms." His eyes turned more flirtatious seeing their effect upon my cheeks. They literally hurt my cheekbones and I nodded in amusement trying to shake that thought off.

The knob which I was holding to keep us in the same room slipped out of my hand and stood again as a barrier between us. I was on the other half, in the hallway looking at him through that little glass while he stared at me through the same. There was this stupid glass but our eyes touched each other, naked.

"I am sorry." I whispered through the glass apologising to him for that night. It was me who was supposed to be on that bed and not him. I wondered if he could read my mouth but it seemed like he did.

"I am not." He mouthed back sailing my heart like that paper boat on a silent river.

For one last time, I turned around to have a last glimpse of him standing higher on my toes and it was like thousands of rainbows bidding goodbye to my dark sky with the early colours of a fresh sunrise as I watched him laugh on his own looking at the television but I knew he was thinking about me.

Maybe my love was strong enough to overcome the cruelty of this demons because what I had with him, I had with nobody else. Our love was that nightmare from which I didn't want to wake up. Ever.

A/N- Who wants MaNan? Let me know. I will start with my own vote.

1.