•_•

The worst actions in history were always caused by those who you were certain would do the right things. The seeds of good and evil exist in everyone's heart. Whichever you choose to nurture and give attention to, is the one that will grow.

Manik wiped stains of my lipstick with the back of his palm reminding me of that little pitch black in the bright radiating sun. As my back touched the wall, I rather didn't dare to look at any of the men whose eyes centred me the whole time.

My lipstick looked on his skin like a stain of some cruellest sin. His eyes were like holy space of sinners whereas mine - the museum of saints.

Manik took steps back without breaking that acidic louring upon me and I had the feeling like I was free falling into some dark pit. He didn't seem to be the man we pretended to know, he was something darker as if handmade by the Satan himself. I lowered my gaze in mortification, curling and uncurling my toenails as I prayed for the ground to divide and swallow me underneath. Whistling some wicked tune, he walked up to the door stopping by the side of Randhir.

"I would gladly be the villain if all you want is to be the hero." He snickered into Randhir's ear who had his fists clenched to the limit that they were pale white.

Randhir kept his head facing the ground but one could sense the way his heart was beating under his chest when he grimaced at Manik, loathing just came handy.

"Ouch, that hurts, doesn't it?" I understood how Manik was pushing Randhir's buttons when Randhir tore his eyes away from him to me and I could say he didn't look at me the way he always had. Nothing could ever be the same again. "Well, I don't know about anyone but I burned a lot of calories." Manik chuckled evilly and my eyes narrowed.

It was matter of seconds that I horribly and helplessly witnessed Randhir pouncing on Manik grabbing his collar before his balled fist connected with his jawline. Petrified, I shrieked with one hand covering my mouth and the other on my chest and honestly, I could feel my numb heart. Manik, at first, seemed too taken aback by the attack on him to react but when realisation dawned upon him, his eyes turned poisonous and he raised his clenched knuckles high in the air to break Randhir's jaw with a loud scream that could deafen the world.

Before things got any more out of hand which kind of already was, I ran in between them with my back facing Randhir and face watching the blood at the corner of Manik's lips. He shook in anger as he tried to tackle me aside in an attempt to hurt Randhir but without thinking anything, I started begging Manik to not hurt Randhir who in turn was furiously trying to move me away to get back at Manik. Literally, I was nothing when it came to strength of two muscular men who tried to step me away and with this dysfunctional brain of mine no other remedy came knocking my brain other than yelling and shedding tears of horror. It felt like one of the men had the death of other written in their stars that night.

"Don't you dare hurt him with your filthy darkness, Mr. Manik Malhotra. You are so dark that you'll turn the person who wants to love you into darkness." I screamed at the top of my lungs watching Manik's advancing kunckles about to land on Randhir's face.

Seriously, I didn't expect anything out of anyone but it kind of stunned me seeing that fist freezing halfway in the air. I exhaled heavily thanking Lord and quickly ran again in between them and ended up doing something which never in a million years I wanted to happen.

I pushed Manik in his guts and surprisingly, the ever so strong Manik Malhotra stumbled back with his eyes fixed at the floor. My heart for a second ached remembering my words but they came with no antidote. Randhir tried to move me away to attack Manik over again until I clasped his hand, begging a helpless no. Our heads turned to Manik who still stood facing the floor and I knew from the corner of his eyes, he watched Randhir's hand in mine.

"Darkness...." He mumbled and my heart broke a thousand times feeling the weakness in his trembling voice and my hand slipped from Randhir's. I could hear, at that very moment, life leaving his beautiful voice even though he wasn't dead.

"You will always be a monster. There's no turning back from it." Randhir's voice spilt pure hatred.

Manik breathed in hard and I could feel all the negative energy he was consuming again as he looked up at me with eyes that demanded me to pray Lord to have mercy on me. Cold sweat broke on my forehead as I found him sneering at my direction even though Randhir uttered the previous line.

"But what kind of monster I become, is entirely up to me, lover-boy." Manik's choice of words pierced my ears as he narrowed his eyes to have a dark look at me from head to toe.

Randhir said no more until Manik left and I finally released that caught up breath I was holding since time immemorial. I decided to avoid looking at Randhir from whose face all the anger seemed to have vanished with pain taking over. I didn't know how to feel about anything anymore. My head was hurting and I wanted to sleep keeping my eyes open.

"Nandini.." Randhir's voice was authoritative as he stopped me from leaving.

"Randhir, I really don't want to do this right now. We already had plenty of drama for one night." Sighing weakly, I reached the door until clasping my elbow, he sharply turned me around.

"You already are running very late." My eyes narrowed and they reached Randhir's tight grip on my elbow. Next, I quizzically stared at him knowing it wasn't about me going home late.

"You cannot stalk a demon and pray to your God to be guarded by angels." He spat curtly and I freed my arm.

"If you... are..trying to talk about what hap-happened between Manik and me.. then it's..I'm sorry but it's personal." I worded looking around awkwardly.

He chuckled with mockery "If you think what personally happened between your Prince charming and you sometime back, it means the world to him then I'm so sorry for sounding like a total brute for the first time ever but... WAKE UP." I took three steps back at the loudness of his voice as this side of Randhir was equally new to me as Manik's lifeless voice.

His eyes were wide, mixed with anger directing me or perhaps my stupidity as he waved his hands dramatically in the air trying to bring me back to earth.

"You simply don't get it, do you? Am I even making a little sense to you?" He groaned angrily and the air on the floor kept getting filled with sighs and tension.

"I want to go home." I sobbed.

"Oh no you don't." He shouted shocking every cell in my body. What was wrong with him?

"Manik Malhotra is nothing but a beast wearing human skin. Evil comes to earth in a human form and that is called Manik Malhotra. He's got no mercy and time and again I have tried enlightening you that he will burn you, Nanidni. This innocence and trust of yours is going to end you up with nothing. Frame my words. Why don't you understand! You are the only one amongst all of us to end up getting hurt. Can you just come out of your fangirl world?" He frantically ran hands through his hair kicking a chair to the distant wall.

"I know..." I breathed frailly feeling my blocked nostrils. "I know he will burn me but why..why do I still want to get an inch closer to him. Why..." Tears flew. He shook his head sympathetically looking away from my broken state.

"I want to take you somewhere." He proposed and I gawked him with tears blurring my vision.

"Wh.."

"Nandini, do you trust me?" I nodded and he softly held my hand guiding me out of the door.

•

It was a wild rain pouring down as I looked around through the windshield of Randhir's car who was unbuckling his seatbelt. Everything was white and unclear. The pulses of my heart matched the pace of the rainfall as I sensed the road to be new to me and the rainfall doing everything worse to my vision.

"Let's go." Randhir ordered opening his side of the door and I could hear the daunting sound of the shower which once was tranquil.

"But it's raining?" Powerless, I complained.

"Yea, I know. Let's step out." His face was stern when he stepped out in the rain with his see through white shirt clinging to his body.

Reluctant, I stepped out only to be drenched in a matter of seconds. Thunder and lightning were at no break as the offensive wind kept blowing my wet strands away. My eyes closed often squeezing out the raindrops; searching everywhere twisting my head to grasp the location. Pupils got bigger and lips automatically parted welcoming some raindrops to slip in as I read the board on the shady, scary, vintage building towering above.

City Mental Asylum

I gawked Randhir who too was reading the board but his expression was much contrary to mine.

"Why are we here? Why are we at a mental asylum?" I spoke swiftly. A little loud in fact, because of those heavy thunders following the lightning which for a second bathed our faces electric white.

"Nandini.." he held my hand but that failed to calm my foreboding. Why the hell was I so on the tenterhooks?

"We have to go inside." He responded, poised.

"What-no. I'm not going in. Why are you playing here?" I clutched my elbows defensively.

He sighed rolling his eyes. It was the middle of the night and I was drowning myself in the world of rainfall and fear of unknown. Whatever it was, the look of the intimidating asylum was making me sick and nauseous as if it had warnings written allover its black thick walls.

"After tonight, you are free to choose." Randhir forwarded his hand to me. "Trust me, just for one last time, please." After pondering over it, I placed my hand on top of his

I was in a game of life for truth and dare; slowly and unsteadily as I kept walking past the dark corners of the asylum, my angels started disappearing in the dark. Wet hair strands clung to my face and neck and I ran my fingers all over my face in restlessness. Something wasn't right.

"Hi." Randhir stopped by who seemed to be the receptionist in missionary clothes inside a desk under one dim yellow light hanging from ceiling.

"We are here to see her."  I'm sorry, who?

"Sorry, not the visiting hour." The receptionist got back to work. I squeezed Randhir's hand whilst he flashed one card to her.

"Nandini, trust me." He squeezed my shoulder eyeing me to follow the lady who picked a set of keys from the board on the wall.

"Let's go back, please? I don't want to be here." I beseeched.

I desperately needed to get out of that sick place which was escalating my heartbeat every unlucky second.

"Gentleman, I'm sure this is not a very good time to fool around." The lady glared at us rattling the keys while Randhir apologetically nodded.

"Nandini.. Trust me, you want to see this person." My trembling body froze and he held me tighter not letting me fall out of my weakness. "Just once, Nandini." Incapacitated, I swallowed.

•

I felt someone was about to punch me in the gut as I couldn't feel any oxygen to breath in when walking past the dark walls of the dimly lit asylum to the designated cell. The faint sound of thunders approached my ears but I already forgot about the world outside. Some certifiable from their respective cells yelled at me while the others tested my patience by swearing at me. All the time I kept my eyes down at my steps and holding the hand I walked here with.

We stopped before a cell which was poorly lit, smelly and located confidentially. A more separate, covert and darkened one. It was impossible for me to see anything in such a poor light as the dark damp walls around only added to my blindness. Randhir slowly let go off my hand and I moved closer to the bars of the cell narrowing my eyes to have a good look.

Not to my surprise, I could see someone's back rocking while her hands scribbled something on the wall. The receptionist left us with a warning of staying away but I didn't hear a word.

"She didn't have visitor in years. She's fierce and ill. Don't stay longer." She left us outside the cell but I tried seeing through the bars shoving my head angularly. She was drawing something ugly on the wall with a stone; humming some tune that only she could discern.

"Chetna" Randhir called and her hand stopped. My heart lost a beat as I realised she was about to turn around.

The sky came crashing on my head as I grasped the name he pronounced. I gripped the bars tight as I couldn't come to sense and belive what I heard. How could we come to meet someone who was dead, long long before? Or wait, was she a different Chetna than the one who used to be the love of Aryaman's life? No. Nothing was making sense. This couldn't just be real. She was dead and we don't meet dead people in asylums. Everybody knew she's expired. Everyone. What on earth was happening!

I shook in anxiety and Randhir's eyes turned worried. How could she come back from her grave. How could dead come alive?

Knots formed in my stomach as my breath got hitched in the middle of my throat as I watched the same Chetna turn around in whose memory we inaugurated Chetna Memorial Trust. I felt all the air sucked out of my system not feeling myself alive as she crawled on her knees towards the direction of the iron bars. There were chains attached to her hands and legs that made metallic sounds as she crawled.

Was I hallucinating?

Her hair was messy, devoid of thousand years of not combing, her teeth were dirty as she smiled creepily at us, her skin absolutely full of dust and her grungy uniform with a cell number on it. Her hands with a thud rested on the bars making a huge jarring sound just beneath mine and reflexively, my hands withdrew. With the help of the bar, she stood up coming to her full length and I could say she once used to be a breathtaking beauty who now slept on the dirty cemented floor.

"Who are you?" She asked and my throat dried.

Hysterically, she glanced over me and then Randhir and laughed throwing her head back. I bounced on my position seeing her in that frenzy of delirium.

"Do you know how to paint? Can you complete my drawing?" She asked neurotically. I just stood there not uttering a word. "You know-you know what I am painting?" She looked back at her scribble on the wall.

She put her lips out of the bar gesturing me to bring my ear closer and every part of me told me not to. Still, gulping my deepest fear, I shifted closer. Hot air exhaled out of her dried chapped lips on my ear and I clutched the rod densely along with my breath.

"I am drawing a monster." She whispered making my insides cringe. "Have you ever seen a monster? Hm? Have you?"

Before I could react, Randhir pulled me away from her and her brows frowned but soon she returned to her humming tune paying no heed around. She prowled to and fro scratching her head muttering things to herself and ambivalently observing us from time to time.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I don't know. Should I be?" I asked running short of breath. "I just saw someone who the world knows to be dead. I should be okay with it, right?" I whispered fighting with my breath. I knew I pierced him with my words but at that time, he was the one who messed up my reality.

"You needed to know this. You needed to see this. Manik gave her a life worse than death." He purred.

"Don't blame him for everything, Randhir." I glared through my tears. This wasn't fair to blame that man for every thing just because he was bad at times. At times.

No words could explain the way I was losing my mind when a warden approached us in missionary clothes with a cross hanging on her chest. She handed over a torn dusty file to Randhir whereas I was fighting to keep my breathing steady.

"For revenge, he can go to the the end of this fucking world....I knew you wouldn't believe me." He jerked the file to wipe away its dust.

"Wha-what is that for?" I knew Manik was the worst but I didn't need anything worse to add to his list of cruelty. I was done hearing ill about him maybe also when he wasn't done doing all of his sins yet.

"You'll know." He scooted close enough for me to see the papers he kept turning. Is it so wrong to see that I was counting my faint heartbeats?

"This is her admission paper." He tapped on Chetna's name on the form. The paper was burnt in its corners as if someone wanted it to not exist.

"This doesn't prove anything." I miffed; my voice fading away.

"But this certainly does." His index finger circled around a signature at the bottom and I creased my eyes to observe better.

"I hope you can memorise your evil jackass boss's signature, can't you?" I let out a shaky breath out as a teardrop dropped on the paper flowing down the bridge of my nose. I refused to look at Randhir but I did begging him to stop this. To not say anymore.

"I'm sorry but I have to do this." He apologised.

"If you must..." I insisted.

"I must." He breathed. "See this date Nandini, this was the date when the society attended Chetna's funeral and look here, Manik was admitting this girl to this asylum. A girl who was mentally fit and fine because see, during admission it was noted that no major neurosis found in her brain condition... but still money can do anything. It did then and still does now. Next," he turned the page.

"Please stop." I whispered closing my eyes. But that was the beginning.

"Do you see the cheques Nandini? The signatures on them? Since years Manik has captivated her in this dungeon kind of thing and cleared all her bills from time to time. She surely knows something hiding which was necessary to Manik. She knows something that can destroy him and I mean it in the scariest way possible." My eyes turned red with tears when I looked at him. "But never.. and hear me say this, never for even once he has paid a visit to this poor girl who once happened to be his best friend." Something broke inside me.

"Maybe, h-he tried to protect her from something worse?" I put forward.

"How Nandini? By each day poisoning her with wrong medicines to the limit that she turned into an actual insane? Look at her! He gave her a life worse than death. He knows how his brother dies everyday because of this girl.. he knows how her parents mourn her death every second and he chooses to ignore everything and pretend that she really is dead? I think she is that though because I cannot call this life worth a life. I can't." He shut the file spreading some dust to my direction.

I moved closer to the bars to stand with a support because I felt no solid ground underneath, my knees felt weak. I was numb. Numb enough to cry but not let tears fall.

"Manik... he can't be what you said. He-he...I.." I cried resting my forehead on the bar.

I choked and gasped for air as out of nowhere Chetna attacked me with all her furious eyes and gritted teeth pressing her fingers around my throat. I gagged for some air opening my mouth as her nails dug into my skin.

"You-you said Manik? Don't take his name, bitch. I'll kill you." She screamed tightening her grip and I could see blur in my eyes with blood rushing to my head.

"Oh god, damn it." Randhir ran to my rescue trying to free her fingers clasped around my skin which only and only made her more raged.

"She deserves to die. Never take his name, you slut." It was matter of time when I was about to cry blood but the warden swiftly called for additional help who unlocking the gate, tackled her away from me with force and I fell on the floor holding my throat, coughing and sucking. Parts of my skin bled because of her nails on them but my mind wasn't there to feel anything.

"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Randhir rubbed my back but I couldn't hear a word as all I saw before my eyes was three ladies and men trying to tackle her while she kicked the bars aiming at me. She really hated me.

"I told you it's not safe." The warden screamed at us.

Randhir stood me up while my eyes were still connected to hers. Her eyes were red and I heard her cursing me shamelessly.

"He will destroy you. He will make you just like me. Stay..stay away from him. Bitch! Stay away." She shouted until one of the men pushed a large syringe in her arm and her voice quietened.

"Nandini....." Randhir turned to me.

Without uttering a word, I sprinted out of the building; so quick that I was practically stumbling more than twice. I just needed to get out of that cursed place not only because my throat still pained but my heart did too. I dashed out of the main door and stopped when my hands touched the body of his parked car. I was again drenched for rain was a constant business that night. I cried and cried looking up at the sky, quivering the most I ever had but I just wanted to die. Maybe because I wanted to get lost and never be found in this world. What a cruel cruel world it is! How could he mean the world to me one day and next, he meant nothing. How? He was the one I wanted to run to and not someone to run away from.

I couldn't think furthermore as twisting my elbow, Randhir made me face him but I couldn't thus I hid myself into his arms for I needed someone to hold me tight.

"Shh.. I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear moving fingers through my hairs.

"There isn't ..a way t-to fix this now.." I howled digging nails into his back bunching his cloth into my fist.

"I got to know about this heinous thing few months back during Maddy's case. Manik's sent goons attacked me in Delhi when I was investigating. I don't give a shit about those attacks on me but Manik always happens to know our weaknesses more than we do. He knows something that can potentially destroy my father and put him behind the bars. Although I badly need this truth to come out to save that poor girl from her misery but I can't because who knows, he might end up killing my father or someone closer to me." His embrace tightened while I bawled my eyes out looking up at the storm clouds.

Why Manik? You really had me fooled. Was I so blind the entire time? I cried and cried. But it's not enough. Not enough to get rid of the squeezing in my chest, not enough to take away the heavy sadness.

"What humanity can you expect from a guy who killed his own mother?" He added and my arms slipped from his back.

Nandini Murthy just died.

M A N I K

[Ed Sheeran]
I've been a liar, been a thief
Been a lover, been a cheat
All my sins need holy water, feel it washing over me
Well, little one, I don't want to admit to something
If all it's gonna cause is pain
Truth and my lies right now are falling like the rain
So let the river run.

I've never ....never done this before. Been hurt. I've seen people die, everyday, for years now. I've watched families be ripped apart, and I swear I've seen the worst humanity has to offer. I've had people cursing me to die but I've never given a single damn until now. Why is that? What's so different now? Why were her words suddenly haunting the shit out of me. Why did she have to look at me with that hatred in her eyes? Why? How bad was it this time compared to my other crimes? Did Murthy get hurt? Why did I care?

I kept running under the heavy thundershower pulling my dark blue hood on when the street was peacefully empty as raindrops flew down my face. Running always helped me clear my mind but why not today? Why couldn't I get her face out of my mind when she saw that jerk Randhir standing back at the door?

Why was I getting back to her thoughts? It wasn't supposed to happen so. It wasn't. For the first time ever, I was feeling things inside my chest which I shouldn't have because it was scaring the shit out of me.

The raw truth was that even I stopped considering myself a human long back because of some terrible terrible things I did in life. Being cruel made me proud. Felt invincible. I had people asking me why the hell was I so evil and that's one secret I could never tell because I myself never found out. Was it possible to love and hate myself simultaneously? Maybe, because my idea of humanity was different from the world and trust me when I say, no one chills my blood more than I do. Fuck, I loved gaining haters. Sometimes I got afraid of the person I met in the mirror not foreseeing his ability to cause destruction and guess who was the problem, me. When I never was able to understand the beast inside then who on earth could ever? And I knew no one was fucking going to be there when I die, nor that I wanted someone to be.

People walk around, act like they know what hate means. Nah, no one does, until you hate yourself. I mean truly hate yourself. That's power. Eventually I either ended up pushing people out of my ocean or drowning them deeper into my waves because no one, I believe, could handle my deep waters.

I stopped under the shower for a moment never realising I was short of breath yet I heard phone buzz inside my pocket. I didn't want to open but I needed a distraction. Raindrops spread over the bright screen as I pressed the home button and it read I received a couple of pictures from a private number. Clicking on them did something worse to me as I felt the caged beast inside slowly crawling out of the dark shadow.

Murthy was secured in the chest of Randhir who happened to have his arms around her waist and caressing her hair in some of the pictures. In others, he simply cupped her face when they were drenched like crows under the rain, perhaps, the same rain I was under but under different skies. In one of the photos, he kissed her forehead as she had her eyes closed but everything was tolerable until the time I zoomed in the name of the building they were standing before.

City Mental Asylum.

Curious and confused, I stared at the building for long and stood poised gliding the hood off my head letting my wet strands drop to my forehead. My thumb ran over my wet mobile screen as my cold eyes looked around trying to figure things out.

So you have officially waged the war, Shekhawat but chose the wrong pawn in this battle of passion and vengeance.

I pressed my lips trying not to laugh but a snicker eventually popped up at the corner of my lips as I shook my head in disbelief. Did he really have to?

Randhir. Randhir. Randhir. Tch tch tch.

The harder I tried controlling my evil laughter, the more I ended up laughing throwing my head back shaking my head as he bowled me out on my pitch. I didn't see this coming. I did underestimate him, honestly. I laughed and laughed until my laughter was louder than the thunder occurring on the chest of earth suddenly crashing the phone harder on the wet street and crushing my boot on it until the glass pieces turned dust particles. Mr. Randhir Shekhawat, maybe one day you'll regret  knowing me, not because I'm a bad person, but because you'll realize that I was the worst thing that could ever happen to you.

••

My screeching wheels halted with a loud force outside the shady dark building towering over which read 'City Mental Asylum'. The rain came to a lighter note but it still was drizzling. My hood was on as I walked through the main door without the fear of being recognised, I couldn't care any less. Reaching the desk at the reception, I tapped my knuckles on the wood awakening the old lady from sleep.

"The key to cell number 438?" I demanded spreading my fingers keeping my face inside my hood.

"Excuse me? Not visiting hours. Come back later with permit." She declined yawning like she hadn't slept in hundred years.

"The key to cell number 438?" I repeated through my gritted teeth battering the desk clamorously.

"Are you deaf? Don't you understand that it's not....." Words stuck in her throat as I looked up still wearing my hood through wet hairs poking my eyes.

"Um.. I'm so sorry, s-sir. But it's just she can't have anymore visitor today because she got violent and att-attacked one of her visitors so we had to give her sedatives to tame her." She fidgeted the cross on her chest standing up from her chair.

"I'll speak to you later about you allowing her to get visitors without asking me but that's not for now. The key? And I really hate to repeat myself." I could feel her chanting prayers feeling my gaze burning her as she quickly fumbled with the keys on board pulling out the correct one.

It was a calm night as I walked past the cells where almost all of the mentals were sleeping and I could hear the thunder faintly invading the walls until my feet halted before the farthest, darkest, ugliest and nastiest cell. I could see her back still rocking slowly as she scribbled something on her wall ahead. Her rhythm and humming elucidated that she was tired and had prominent effects of those sedatives in her system. Unlocking the gate as noiselessly as I could, I placed my fingers around the bar taking a moment before entering.

She crooned on her own while I slowly sat on the filthy floor pushing my hood down behind her. Her back was to me and my presence unknown to her. It felt like decades have passed since I last heard her hum our favourite tune and it pricked my chest.

When the sun shines, we shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend

Scared, she turned around hearing me sing along with her arrhythmic tune and her eyes widened. She moved a little farther from where she could study my face better clutching the cloth on her chest and dropped the stone from her grip as water pooled in her eyes.

Took an oath that I'm a stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever

When I gestured with my eyes, she carried on singing along with me in a broken tone. Something in her eyes healed. I knew I was her criminal because a best friend never does to anyone what I did to her but I had to.

Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh
Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

She sobbed while singing along while I closed my eyes trying to get the correct lyrics resting ny head against the wall. We sang together after years and it still felt like two children who learnt the song in the park.

These fancy things will never come in between
You're part of my entity, here for infinity
When the world has took its part
When the world has dealt its cards
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart...

I kept my eyes closed breathing gently although her cell smelt rotten. I heard some stone again brushing against the wall and kind of realised, there were two insanes trapped within the four walls of the same cell.

She and I.

I thought she'd hit me or scream at my face for not visiting her in years or even get petrified at my sight but little did she know, how secretly I watched her sleep on some nights on her slim bed. Nobody asked me ever why I do the dirt that I do because they believe I'm already the worst. Not that, if anyone would ask, I'll answer. So you see the problem there? It's me. I don't think people feel how stressful it is to explain what's going on in your head when you don't understand it yourself.

I already knew I was going to hell for causing such pain upon one of God's children and listened silently to the panicked scribbles on the wall with that blunt stone; myself feeling like dying, raving or murdering, or in between.

Maybe, in the parallel universe I wasn't so evil who would crush bricks of peoples' happiness to build an empire with them.

Neither did I realise when I became the toughest of terrors and roughest of waves.

"What are you drawing?" I asked and her fingers trembled.

"Her." She replied after a pause.

"Her?" I strangely gaped at her drawing.

"The one girl who came." Her words brought back flashes of Murthy's lips against mine tonight and my trembling fingers reached the wall.

She was more than just a jumble of muscle, skin, and other bodily tissues. She was more than the colour of her hair, eyes, and finger nails. She was more. Much, much more. There was a beautiful complexity that lied deep within her; the source of her very being. Her body was her vehicle, her voice being speaker, however there was so much more that lied within her soul. Nandini Murthy was so so much deeper than my fears.

Maybe, I was avoiding Murthy everywhere whereas on the contrary, I was looking for her everywhere too. I realised things were getting screwed when I couldn't keep my eyes off her face on the wall although the drawing was substandard. The fault was mine. I was way stronger than what Murthy thought me to be; only if I could be a little weaker maybe I could shower upon her all those emotions she deserved to be bathed in.

Sometimes I felt I was a dark soul wading through the clear waters of lightness. Yet as I went through, I remained the same. Separated. I was like oil in those waters.

"Sh-She's pretty and and and she has this looooong hair like Rapunzel. No, not Rapunzel." Chetna murmured to herself scratching Murthy's untidy doodle to cut the hair shorter. "But sh-She's has those big rounded eyes." Her stone moved in circles, actually giant circles to be called someone's eyes and my eyes averted to her rambling.

I didn't know if my best friend was drawing Murthy a witch or a princess when she looked so absorbed in her incoherent talks. As I slowly tried to touch her face, she flinched shoving my hand away and continued with her delineation.

"Do you hate her because she disturbed your peace tonight?" I whispered to her. I waited for her to reply but she wouldn't; she didn't have any senses to understand normal things. I did this to her.

"Please forgive me if you can." I whispered. That was the reason I didn't come to see her when she's awake knowing this would hit the strings of my guilt. It really did.

"Do you hate me?" Darkly, I questioned although she was busy talking nonsense to the drawing, giggling on her own. Unexpectedly, she paused.

"Does the monster hate when he sees the mirror?" She enquired tugging the ends of her hair and curling them around her fingers nervously.

"I wish the monster could hate himself." I shot her a look when my eyes were red which I was sure the reason which caused her back to hit the wall or maybe she tried to get inside the wall to hide from me.

"D-don't..." she warned dropping the stone from her hand.

"So best friend, you didn't say if you hate her." I asked again, my eyes fixed on her and she closed hers.

She lowered her face not wanting to see me and her senses felt nauseous when I lifted her chin up and tucked few dried messy strands aside from her beautiful face. Somehow I felt more powerful. Either I was a villain in world full of heroes and or a hero in a world full of villains.

A pretentious villain or just another masked hero.

"I know, Chetz. I know that you understand everything. You can hear me." She kept mumbling on her own.

"Do you hate her?" My eyes narrowed as my fingers a little too harshly cupped her cheek and she gulped stopping her mumbling. She breathed in and exhaled slowly, almost unnoticeably nodding her head in a feeble no. I smirked wrapping my arms around her and she breathed infirmly on my shoulder.

"Good because I think I like her too." She stiffened in my arms like a stone; as if getting hit by a train that crushed her spirit.

*~*

A/N - Oh boy!

I just now got blinded by the darkness of this fanfic.

Can you feel it too?

Keep voting, commenting and of course loving this story as you always have. I read all of your comments and they bewitch my soul and I love love love them. *In Mr.Darcy's tone* I'd like to reply to every single comment on this chapter. So please make my day.

Also, I've got 'inzayn' by Zayn's latest music video 'Let me'. I mean, it's sick!

All the love,
Rai.