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    Usually, I'm stirred awake by my alarm at eight in the morning, or by traffic earlier than that. It's the worst way to wake up, and before I've even got out of bed, I feel annoyance. But this morning, I quickly check my phone to see it's nine, and the birds are singing me awake in the forest. It's never been so peaceful. My insides feel positive. Everything about me in this moment feels optimistic and not bogged down by the past and the weight it bears.

Cameron's hands tighten around me as he leans across and presses a kiss on my arm. I inhale and turn around to face him.

"Morning," I whisper before kissing his lips.

"Morning."

"Sleep well?"

Cameron nods. "Like a log. Not sure whether it's the environment or the company."

"I was just thinking the same thing. A bit of both, though someone made me tired, so that helped."

"Oh, someone, huh?" he teases.

I nod before we kiss again. Fully aware of my probable morning breath, I make it quick before leaning back in the bed. "This mattress is so fucking comfortable."

"Probably a sign you need a new one."

"I like my one at home. I've kept the same brand for years, but this is making me question everything I ever knew."

The topic of last night's emotional exhaustion is staying away for now, and I'm glad of it. Something changed when we kissed, and everything bad about the evening melted away and I kind of don't want it to ruin things now either, but we both know it'll have to be mentioned again.

"Kenna?"

"Hm?" I turn to look at him. His dark hair is ruffled, eyes not leaving mine, and he looks so irresistible with the duvet around his waist and naked body next to mine, I want to jump him again. I've no doubt he would welcome it, but I also don't know where we stand right now.

"I... part of me wants to have this where are we conversation for my peace of mind, but I'm also aware this was meant to be your honeymoon. With the shit we discussed last night, I just don't know... I want this to be serious, but the timing—" He stops and groans. "Sorry, that came out so fucking wrong."

"You want this to be serious? Like, an us?"

He nods. "I thought that was obvious, but yeah, full disclosure."

"That's what I want, too. I just... your mental health, the speed... I guess we just see where the rest of this holiday goes. We could even go out on a date while we're here, be all normal about it?"

We both laugh.

I lean on my side and run my finger in a circle on the mattress for a distraction. "Yeah, we could go on a date to one of the restaurants here and see what happens this week. Not put a label on it for now?"

He nods. "Fair. Can I still kiss you?"

I find myself hiding my face for a second, conscious of the stupid smile gracing it. "Of course. Like now, you could totally kiss me and I would welcome it."

"Where are the boundaries?"

I shrug. "Right now, I don't have any. I just don't want to put a label on before it feels right. To me, this is too quick to be official and build a life together. I don't know about you, but once I have a label, it becomes about building a life. Not moving in or marriage, but in terms of where we slot in with each other, let's make time and nurture this thing. After everything, I'm happy just... being us for a while."

He takes it in for a few seconds, and I'm wondering if this is going to be a disagreement. It would make sense. My way isn't for everyone, and it's a valid thing to disagree about. But after Elliott and Courtney, and even after what happened with Cameron in the past, it makes sense to me.

"So, it's a situationship?" He jokes.

I playfully slap his arm. "Shut up. No, I wouldn't call it that. More like dating before becoming official. I've no intention of seeing anyone else right now. I intended to be single for a while, and then the realisation hit that I'm in love with you, so it's your fault."

"Always blame the guy." He props himself up on his elbow. "That's fine with me. We'll go at your pace. Just promise to communicate honestly with me?"

I nod. "Promise. Now, kiss me."

"Fucking gladly."

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    I swim over towards where Cameron's lying in the little dip in the outside pool. It's a little hammock-type thing in the water where they have jets to make it like a Jacuzzi you relax and stare at the sky in. He's been here for a while, and I'm wondering if he's fallen asleep, but as I lie next to him, he looks over my way.

"This is the life," he says. "I could stay here forever, especially now you've turned up."

I giggle and nudge him. "Shut up."

"Serious, though, I could stare into your eyes while lying here all day."

"Jesus, Cameron, you don't have to keep the charm turned on." I put my head back and stare at the clouds as they move across the sky and find my hand lacing together with his under the bubbles. "While I was swimming, I was thinking."

"Hm?"

"I'd like to open a second cake shop, like a second Kakeology place. You know how you mentioned a restaurant thing?"

"Yeah."

"I was thinking about it properly. I could open a second cake shop instead, somewhere down on the coast. Maybe not Bournemouth; I want to stay away from there for a while. But, I don't know, maybe Cornwall or somewhere more urban, like Portsmouth or Southampton. Just somewhere. If it proves successful and I get more money, maybe then start up the restaurant idea. I could make a little brand thing."

His eyes stay on me, but I carry on looking at the clouds while I envisage it in my mind. "I like the idea of keeping the shops small for a while, getting my footing down south before I expand and go big to a restaurant, but I like the potential of a dessert place. It's unique."

"You don't have to justify your business idea to me, Kenna. It doesn't offend me if you don't like the idea."

"I know, I just thought you should know. But I was thinking of the second shop of getting you hired as a business partner. You can bring some dessert ideas to the new shop. My idea is to get the restaurant in somewhere other than London. While it's a vastly excellent area for money, it's condensed. Bringing a restaurant somewhere else is unique and will bring more money in. I want to go back to the south coast, to a beach. But I don't want to go home."

He nods. "I can get behind that. We can find somewhere easily enough. I assume starting a new business would mean relocating?"

"Yeah, I'd need to move there first, make some roots. Basically, hire a store manager for the shop in London while in the process. That's easy because I'd promote one of the girls in there now and then hire a new assistant. But yeah, relocation, leave the flat in London. I want to move anyway. A new life sounds perfect." I take a breath and turn to face him. "With what's happening with us, I think a new start, new business and everything sounds like what we need."

He sits up and slides into the main pool, so I follow suit. There are a few families playing around in the pool, so we move over to a quiet area.

"I've needed to move for so long. My depression seems worse when I'm around the beach in Bournemouth and near everything where it all happened. Moving sounds perfect. I can find a separate home, find a job—"

"Cameron, let's be real here. While I said no label, we both know how this is going to go. You don't need to hide it. Even as friends, we can live together, it's not... I don't find this awkward anymore. Unless you don't want to, of course."

He kisses my forehead. "I'd be honoured. I also don't want to step on your toes, so I don't know, something to also look into and discuss when we've found you somewhere to start a new business."

"You'd want to help? Well, be hired. Whatever this thing is. Business partnership? We could open it together."

"You'd trust me to be a business partner? I was expecting like head baker or whatever, but that works too."

I giggle and splash water at him. "Doesn't matter right now, but yeah, something like that. I have ideas I can show you."

"It sounds perfect. We can start looking at areas later if you want. But by the beach somewhere that's not home sounds like what we both need."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

I put my shoulders back under the water; the breeze hitting my face versus the warmth of the water just right. "Courtney said the other day how I was too obsessed with the past and my head was too invested in Elliott after all this time—"

"She's talking out her arse, Kenna. You know it's not that simple."

"That's the thing, though, I agree with her in a sense. I need to move forward more, and I think telling you about it helped that, now I can fully heal properly. But my question is; do you feel threatened by his ghost? I know this isn't a properly labelled thing, but I guess we're just... whatever this is, it's clearly romantic. I kinda just want you to be honest if you, at any point, think I'm too obsessed with it. With him, I guess."

"Kenna, you're not. It's not true. It was a heavy thing. He was your first love, and the situation was... intense. Like you just said, you need to fully heal, and I'm not you, but that shit takes time. Now it's fully out there, you'll probably find this part of the healing easier. But if you don't, that's fine with me. I get it. This sounds stupid to compare, but after what happened with you, mainly the saving you thing, I had to heal myself. It takes time and patience. I didn't really have anyone, but you have me, and to an extent, your family, to help with that if you want them to. They don't know the full history, but they're there for you." He cocks his head. "Well, not Lily, I guess."

I chortle. "Definitely not her."

"But I'm serious. It doesn't bother me. I get it. But if it helps, then yes, I'll be honest with you the whole way through. If you will with me, too."

I nod. "I will. It just... I guess the whole thing consumed me because of how heavy both our love was and the situation. Even the us thing back then haunted me in a way."

"That's why it's important to allow yourself time to heal."

"It's why I don't want this to become a labelled relationship right now. I think once we work out where we're going, I want to finally see a therapist."

His hand squeezes mine. "Sounds like a good idea."

"Now I've told one person, someone I trust, maybe I can tell someone impartial with no problems and finally work through it."

"I've done therapy for years; it helps."

I cock my head. "You don't strike me as a therapy type."

"Didn't realise they had a stereotype. But, yeah, it helped me work through the shit. Even just unloading to someone who has nothing to do with you is helpful."

"Once we get settled, I might try it," I say. "For now, I think putting my head into this new start will help. Last time, it felt refreshing and kept me distracted."

"Have your family been in contact?"

I nod. "Dad has, and Mum's also sent a message. Can't escape the news, either. He's all over it with everything. Looks like the press is going heavy on supporting him without outright doing it."

"He's going to be the next leader, there's no doubt. Maybe even prime minister in the future."

"I mean, let's not go that far, you never know what happens at the polls on polling day. Dad's always said it's bad luck to even talk about it when there's no planned general election."

"The country wants change. Anyway, if it's bad luck... let's enjoy the forest. Race you down the rapids?"

My eyes move to the entrance to the rapids to our right. The screams of thrill are like white noise after a while, and they look ridiculously fun, if daunting.

"Fuck it, let's go. Last one has to buy the pancakes later."

"You're on, loser." 

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