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    You're not meant to have puffy eyes before your wedding, or at least that's what the beautician told me and Courtney when she gave us facials and massages a couple of days ago. Puffy eyes are bad luck, she mentioned. It's just a sign of stress from the body, but still. Don't want puffy eyes on the morning of your wedding, except with the late nights we had planning the thing, it's been hard not to be stressed. That's why we did everything beforehand so the night before could be as stress-free as possible.

Except it hasn't worked out that way. Not only have I spent the night crying and unable to sleep after looking at the photos and social media of both Courtney and my sister, but our wedding has also been postponed. Part of me didn't want to cry – not only do they not deserve my tears, but the revenge idea has been swimming in my mind, and I have a sort of idea. Maybe. Potentially.

I just need some help to enact it. That's where Cameron comes in, I suppose. The problem I now have is that no one else knows about Courtney and Lily, which is wonderful for my plan, but also will make it hurt the innocent people who it'll hit. It hurts me to think of my parents finding out in the way I have planned, but also, no one thinks of people like me in this scenario: the one who's being cheated on, humiliated, and made to feel like I'm not even worth being the dirt underneath their shoes.

Lily's voice travels from the bathroom in the hallway: she came in at two in the morning. I didn't sleep, so I heard her. It's funny because when we ask her where she was last night, I know she'll be lying. Cameron provided me proof of where she went yesterday evening, and I assume she stayed there till she came home. My sister, my maid of honour, the one who I've grown up with and trust more than anyone... betraying me and lying like this.

Getting the last of my makeup done, I stare in the mirror. My eyes are still puffy, and the makeup doesn't help hide it. There's nothing for it, I kind of just have to embrace it. Part of me doesn't want to face either Lily or Courtney today, but to get my own back, I have to. Once I set eyes on them, I know my heart will burn for revenge, and I'll want them to hurt like they've hurt me. It's only right.

"Morning, sweetheart. You okay? You look exhausted." Mum slides me a plate of pancakes as I walk into the kitchen.

Luke's sitting there eating as if he has no idea what's going on. Well, he doesn't, not really. Cameron says he suspects, so I wonder if he's wondering if I know.

"I'm all right. Just tired," I say. "Thank you for breakfast."

"No worries."

Dad appears in the doorway, suited and booted. "I've phoned up and changed my day off, so I have the actual wedding day off. Sorry, pumpkin, I have to work. The announcement is going to have to happen either today or tomorrow because of the timing. I'm so sorry."

I shake my head. "It's fine, Dad. Go for it."

The only thing I didn't think of in all this is my dad. Will my revenge plan go back and ruin things for him? It shouldn't do because it's just a petty revenge act and the wedding won't go ahead. He doesn't mention his daughter's wedding in any of his campaigning. The only thing he did was ask me years ago if he could mention his daughter is bisexual to a group he was campaigning with, which I agreed to.

There's no way this could get back and ruin things for him.

Should I just stop while I'm ahead and just tell them to go fuck themselves? Maybe I should. It'd be easier for everyone, mainly me.

"Morning," Lily greets from the doorway. "I'm sorry to hear about the wedding, Kens."

And the look on her face, and the edge of a hickey on her neck—

A fucking hickey? Is she having a fucking laugh?

Oh, this revenge plan is happening and once it happens, I never want to see either of them again. Cameron appears in the doorway.

"Not your fault," I tell her, trying to stay chipper. "Where were you last night? How'd you find out?"

She sits down with Mum's pancakes, smiling. "Just went out to a club before. Mum texted me to let me know the wedding was postponed, so I stayed out a little later than planned, got turfed out of the club."

Liar. She's lying. Well, I know Mum did text her, but that's the only truth she's telling right now.

"Fair." I eat my pancakes and meet Cameron's gaze. The sort of amused look on his face shows me that he doesn't believe her either. We both know. I just wonder if anyone else knows either.

Somehow, as everyone falls into silence to eat, my mind wanders to Elliott. His favourite food was pancakes with bacon and maple syrup. The way to his heart was through his stomach, even after the shit that went down and changed everything. Food was how we ended up becoming more than friends, it was how we cheered each other up, and it was how I got him talking after it happened and knew something was up. It was how he coped with it, and it's how I remember him.

Has Mum made pancakes on purpose? To make me think of him? Or is she thinking of him? After he died, she would make pancakes without thinking and then hated herself after both Luke and I ended up in tears.

"What're you guys doing about the wedding? Still having it next week, right?" Luke asks.

I nod. "As far as I know. Court's coming over later and we'll make a plan of what we're doing. There's no point in me going back up to London for a few days; my calendar's clear for the bakery and I made sure to have no stock in so it wouldn't go off. Seems silly to open it right now, so I'll stay here. She's sorting her work out this morning I think."

"Nice one," Luke mentions.

Lily eats in silence, but I notice her phone buzzing a few times. Am I being too paranoid now in thinking every time her phone goes off it's going to be my fiancée? She does have friends, so it could be them. Could also be her work.

It could also be that she's not actually having an affair—no, I have to stop thinking that way because the photos and evidence are clear. Denial is going to set me back. I need to pull through and make this better for myself because apparently that's the only person who cares about me anymore.

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    Courtney looks like an angel – that's the only way to describe her as she sits opposite me at lunchtime. The black flowing hair this morning is wavy, glossy and gorgeous, with a pink clip in at the back. She's wearing a pink crop top with high-waisted jeans and heels that could kill if they wanted.

She's a gorgeous angel. With devil horns and a secret that can kill.

Or maybe she's just Medusa. One look from her and I will forget everything she's done so far and I'll marry her with no care in the world. If I don't look her in the eyes, my plan will stay the same.

So I don't look her in the eyes. But I also have to carry on like nothing is wrong. The best plans are the ones that don't get found out, of course.

"So you don't think the cake will be a problem?" Courtney asks.

I shake my head. Technically, it is a problem and if it were a customer, I'd bake them another one free of charge because venues are annoying. But she has no insight into my bakery business and doesn't know the first thing about cakes, so it's easy to wing this in my favour. No need to waste money and bake a second cake when I likely won't be there to taste it.

"No, if they unfreeze it in three days, it'll thaw in time and be fine," I say. "How much are they taking off the bill?"

"Five hundred off, plus the free hotel stays like I said last night. They're also giving us two extra bottles of champagne for free at the reception."

"Sweet."

"What're you doing about the bakery? And the employees?" Courtney asks.

"I'm going to stay here, keep the bakery closed. I left a message with Alice and Ryan last night. They'll be back in to sort stock the day of the wedding, then open up the day after." I'm not lying, either. I sent messages this morning to sort out the bakery stuff, I just have to navigate a few more things.

"Gonna have to go back this afternoon for tomorrow. I phoned work, and they refused to let me have the week off, even though I have enough holiday left."

She's lying. Her eyes won't meet mine, and there's not a sense of hurt in her eyes as she says it. She works in a pharmacy at a hospital; there's no way she wouldn't be able to find cover desperately. Technically, she would've had to go back in two days – she booked a few days off after the wedding, so there's no way she wouldn't be able to have tomorrow and the next day off just because it got rescheduled.

I mean, technically she could've rescheduled the days off—

Now I'm being paranoid, but she's absolutely going to spend time with Lily. I'm not convinced this is the truth.

"How'd you get roped into that?" I ask. "They gave you a bunch of cover for the wedding and this week, anyway."

She looks away. "Leo's also off sick, so they roped me into covering so I can have the wedding and a couple of days off after. We're still good for the honeymoon at Longleat, though."

We booked a week away in a holiday park for cheap for the honeymoon. Luckily, the thing is booked in my name. I haven't even thought about that yet. Okay, something for this afternoon to sort out. The honeymoon is for – conveniently – the Monday after the wedding. So that gives me two days after the wedding till the honeymoon.

I have a lot of planning and scheming to do, it seems. Whatever she's up to, working or shagging my sister, it works for me right now.

"What time are you leaving?" I ask.

"Around two." She stands from the chair. I have to endure two more hours with her right now, then. Every time I look at her, all I can see is my sister and those photos.

The bile swishes in my stomach. It's sickening.

"We have a couple of hours," she says suggestively.

My insides turn. She's suggesting we have sex. When she's clearly been with my sister all night. But equally, I need to keep up this façade.

I'm also stressed to fuck.

Instead of giving in, I stay in my seat. "Court, I'm stressed. Not now."

Her face sours and a pout forms on her mouth. "What's that Maori proverb you used to joke around to me?"

I sigh. "Aroha mai, aroha atu. Love received demands love returned."

She smiles. "Let me give it to you."

"Not now, babe." I stand up and approach her. "There are people in the house as well, and I've got to go to the hotel in a bit and sort the cake. You've got work."

She whines. "Fine, a kiss then."

As much as I don't want to, I give in. Her hands caress my neck, the usual warmth and comfort giving me chills. Her flowery scent of perfume and deodorant infiltrates my nose, but instead of being sweet and addictive, it's forcing me to imagine Lily's perfume mixing with it. Courtney's gorgeous hair and body are suddenly not in front of me, but on top and underneath my sister; the moans she sings out at night are suddenly not mine anymore.

Our lips meet in the middle and my body wants to recoil, push her away, but this is the very reason I need to do this for me. I need to be the one on top and not humiliated anymore. For so long in my life, I've always been at the bottom; with Elliott, I couldn't help him. I ran away because no one could just understand and instead got angry at him, but I couldn't betray his memory. With Cameron, I couldn't even tell him why I was so upset but also at peace about Elliott's death, and I felt so bad about not being able to articulate anything to him. I was scared we were just this rebound of grief and would become so entangled in a co-dependent healing relationship that I fled.

There were so many reasons that I ran away and started a new life, but I never felt in control or on top until I met Courtney. She knew about Elliott – though not everything – and she made me feel empowered. Our relationship is only a year old, but I fell fast and hard because of it. Now everything I know is being stripped from me like a broken down car.

Her tongue laps at mine, and her hand creeps under my top, groping my boob, so I push away.

"Court, come on, my mum and brother are upstairs." I adjust myself.

"Sorry, I just... missed you last night."

Lies.

"I missed you too." I'm lying now, too. Or maybe not. I miss who I thought she was. I want to ask her how long she's been fucking my sister, but I keep my tongue still.

It's only now that I notice she hasn't offered for me to go with her home. Is it sensible to even suggest it? I wonder what she'll say. If she says no, I'll know exactly what she's doing.

"Did you want me to come with you? Home, I mean?" I ask tentatively. "I could always come down later when I've gone to the hotel and sorted out some shit."

She shakes her head. "You're fine. Stay here, spend some time with the family. It's only a few days."

So she's either not working or working and Lily will be staying at my home, in my bed.

"Okay," I answer. "I better get on then—"

"Kenna, I didn't mean it like that. I want you with me, it's just... your family will want you home, right? Seems silly for you to come all the way home with me and be bored when you could spend the time here. Especially with your dad's announcement."

She might mean it well, but I know the truth. Even if she's not cheating on me while she goes home this week, there is no way I can be with her ever again after this.

The key to any relationship – of any kind – is trust. Elliott used to tell me that; well, the key to anything involving people, a business, a relationship, anything... is trust. If there's no trust, everything will get fucked up. It'll all just crumble away and dissolve.

I no longer trust Courtney, even though all I have are photos and no actual concrete truths. Well, I do have the truth; the photos prove what's going on, but I have no information or times, or how long this has been happening. I don't care, though; the trust is gone.

Once I say a quick goodbye, peck Courtney on the lips goodbye and tell her I'll sort out most of the wedding stuff, I get into my car and connect my phone. I dial the number Cameron left on my phone for him.

"Hey Kenna," he answers.

"Hey. She's just visited; apparently, she has to work this week, and she doesn't want me to go with her."

"You think Lily's going with her?"

I nod, despite him not being able to see me. "Oh, I know it. I have a plan, and I need your help. Meet me at the hotel?"

"Give me half an hour, I'll be there." 

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