I sit quietly in my living room, following my thoughts and looking at the beautiful snow outside. About twenty minutes ago, one of Leroy's men drove me home.

Leroy just stared at me with a blank stare that said more than words could. I understood that his look was meant to be a warning. My parents will be there tomorrow. I notice that I skipped college during the two weeks. There were important exams and also the reason why I didn't go to my grandmother's house with my parents. But of course, Leroy cleared it up.

He sent a medical certificate to the university, so I would be allowed to make up the exams. How he knew which one I visit and that I would write exams was a mystery.

Sighing, I avert my gaze and rub my eyes. I am so tired. So damn tired. I couldn't get a wink of sleep the last few nights because I made a mistake and someone else has been punished for it. The guilt is killing me, eating me up inside, and tormenting me. It was all because of me that someone got hurt.

Like I often do, I close my eyes and review the day.

"Please, go back in the room, Miss." The man in the white suit, who has been forced lately to stand outside my door to guard me, immediately turns around to face me as soon as I open the door.

"Please let me through! I won't snitch either, please, I have two kids," I lie. Leroy is gone once again and I certainly won't miss the chance to get out of here. Never would I. Still, it's reckless in that way, only Leroy, as I already guessed, has stepped up supervision and I just wouldn't get out of here any other way, except with the help of his men...

"Really? But then why are you here? The boss would never sink so low to hold a woman who has family, no matter what she did," the man replied. Finally, someone is listening to me. Because usually, they don't respond, no matter how many times you try to have a conversation with them.

"Because it's all a misunderstanding. And now your boss is afraid to let me go, but I assure you I won't say anything. I promise! But please... please, let me go. My kids...-", I sob out theatrically. The man's eyes narrow before he turns his head away and for a moment it unsettles me, but when he looks compassionately back in my face, I can just barely keep myself from sighing in relief. He believes me.

"All right, all right," he sighs and nods. He presses his lips together and looks around a little desperately. "But hurry," he whispers. He looks me in the eye pleadingly, to which I now nod hastily. This guy must be new. None of the others would have ever let me go.

"Let me help you. Follow me and be very quiet, will you?" he murmurs, to which I just nod again.

"Thank you so, so much. You don't know what you're doing for me and how much it means to me. What's your name?", I ask him. Knowing that he is really helping me moves me to tears, but I quickly blink them away.

"Mateo is my name, Miss."

"Thank you, Mateo. So, so much."

Mateo says that we are most inconspicuous if we first just walk in the garden. Then he helps me over the wall and I should just run. There's a good chance he'll get caught, but that's the only way I could get out of here.

But apparently, fate is not on my side, because just as we want to start running after we have discussed everything, footsteps sound. We barely have a chance to somehow hastily separate so that it doesn't look like I was talking to him when Leroy already appears.

"Mateo, my man, what are you doing?" He asks. He doesn't look at me once, which only makes me feel more insecure. Mateo looks like he's seen a ghost, but I can't blame him. We're screwed.

"Sir, I-," he begins, but he's muddled with fear and can't come to a conclusion. I try to quietly move out of the way, but one look from Leroy is enough to make me freeze.

"Take it easy, Mateo. You're new and my little chica screwed you, but I'll let it slide. Take this," Leroy calmly replies, and as he holds out a gun to Mateo, I hiss and gasp.

Oh, God. I am so dead. Mateo swallows and blinks at me briefly before looking back at Leroy and reaching for the gun. Leroy nods in satisfaction.

"Now shoot yourself in the leg, Mateo," he orders. Mateo's eyes widen, and so do mine. Excuse me?!

"Sir...-," he gasps, but Leroy interrupts him.

"Shoot yourself in the leg, Mateo," Leroy repeats, only now his voice sounds a few notes lower. His eyes form into slits suspiciously. Suddenly he looks at Mateo very differently, and I think I even know what his look means.

Probably no one hesitates to execute his order, even if it means hurting themselves. And Mateo obviously hesitates, which is understandable as hell though.

"Leroy, please...-," I try this time, but he merely raises his hand, gesturing to shut up, before exhaling angrily - still looking at Mateo.

"Shoot your fucking leg, Mateo!"

And Mateo shoots.

Sighing, I close my eyes. I only hope that Mateo can forgive me one day. I didn't see him after that and someone else was at my door for the rest of the days. Leroy didn't speak to me. He just looked at me wordlessly until I fled into the room on my own.

But now I have to pull myself together. I'm in deep shit and I need to get rid of this mafia boss for good, as soon as possible.

Because he is my downfall.

☼ ❅

"Mom!", I shout happily and not even a second later she wraps me in her arms. This is what I needed during this difficult time. The warmth of my mother.

"Oh, Mom," I breathe, while tears are already gathering in my eyes.

"Daniel, take a picture, hurry! Katrina is happy to see me," she calls jokingly to my father.

"Baby, you're crying!" Surprised, she gasps as she looks back up into my face, barely breaking away from her.

"Then you know now that I really missed you two," I reply, laughing lightly.

"But that's no reason to cry, Katrina. What was it Grandpa used to say?", I hear my father ask.

"No one deserves your tears, Katy," I whisper with a smile. Yes, he used to say that when he was alive. Whenever I cried. And I cried too much and often.

Sighing, I watch my parents walk into the kitchen and sit right down. Immediately, my mom starts looking at the delicious pasta casserole.

"I love it when you make pasta casserole, Rina," I hear Mom say. I press a kiss on her cheek in response.

"She learned all that from you, Cassandra," Dad replies lovingly.

"I guess that's true, then," I respond. The least I can cook, I can only thank my mom. I'm too stupid to teach myself and feel bullied most of the time because the food never turns out the way it's supposed to.

"How were the exams?" Mom suddenly asks and I almost choke.

"About that...", I begin. Curious, they both look at me. "I was sick, so I'm making up the exams."

"What?" I hear Mom ask, confused. I run my fork over the noodles, refusing to look into her eyes. I'm so bad at lying.

"But those were important exams, honey. You didn't come with us to your grandma's house for exactly this reason. What did you have that made you skip college?" Asks Dad.

"I had a little food poisoning because I ate eggs from two days ago, but I'm better now. Really." After all, my lie is better than I first thought, but when I'm rattled, it usually works.

"You should have called us," Mom replies tensely.

"And bother you on Christmas? Mom, I'm twenty-two years old. I'm not twelve anymore, I can take care of myself."

"That reminds me-" comes quietly from Dad before he looks at me. "I called you on Christmas."

I freeze. Dammit.

"Oh...oh, yeah, eh, my phone is, eh, I lost it." I'm lost and not my phone.

"Katrina Ana Cooper! You tell me right now what this swirl of lies is about," Mom suddenly shouts.

I'm screwed.

"Mom-," I begin, but she cuts me off.

"Don't you dare!" she shouts indignantly. I grit my teeth. She must be overdramatizing everything now. Yet I'd prefer it if they just didn't ask any questions.

"Cassandra, slow down a bit!" comes from Dad. I look at him gratefully. We both know what a drama queen she is.

"Slow down? Daniel, aren't you listening? She's lying to us! Who is threatening you, my child? Tell mom," she shouts indignantly and then switches to worried. Wow, only mothers can do that. I stifle rolling my eyes.

"Mom, seriously now. What are you doing?", I ask.

"You're lying to me Katrina Ana Coo -" she begins, but I interrupt her.

"Stop calling me by my full name, Mom! I know what my name is. And you want to know the truth?" I shout.

"That's right!"

"I have a boyfriend."

Finally, the house falls silent. Dad almost drops his fork, and Mom looks quite puzzled.

"Really?" She asks after a moment of silence before the corners of her mouth twitch up.

"Yes, really," I reply, trying to look pleased.

"And he's the reason you're skipping college and missing important exams?" Comes Dad's reply.

Oh, that was obvious now.

"No, no. That was my decision. I really didn't feel well and wanted to stay at home."

"With him?" Asks Mom, and you can just hear the happy undertone as Dad snorts in annoyance.

"Yes, Mom. With him," I say, wringing a smile from myself. Dad mumbles something and then continues eating silently.

"So when can we meet him?" Asks Mom.

"Soon," I grin forcedly.

Unfortunately.

☼ ❅

I just wanted to say that crying is not a bad thing. Crying is not a weakness. Rina cries a lot ik. Some people are very emotional and sentimental (including me) and it's not bad at all to let your tears run free. Everyone behaves differently in certain situations and that's perfectly fine. We are humans and should not judge others if they are too emotional and need to cry.

-