Roux

Ahead of them was a patch of ground that might have been a clearing once, or perhaps none of these trees had ever been here, and this whole area had been wide and open. Either way, it was now choked with weeds and undergrowth. There was no sign of the house that Ludovic had once lived in.

Ludovic turned in a half-circle, studying the trees around them, but his desolate expression said it all.

"I can't work out where the grave is," he said.

Roux's heart clenched.

Ludovic dropped her hand and walked forward a few steps before stopping again.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Roux asked.

"No," he admitted. "It all looks so different now. I'd assumed the house would still be here, and I could trace my steps to the grave from there. But now . . ." His voice trailed off.

He sounded so helpless, and Roux wanted to punch herself in the head for even suggesting this.

Ludovic wandered away from her, studying each patch of trees around them. Roux moved in the opposite direction, brushing away the brambles that clutched at her legs. Thorns nipped at her fingers, sometimes hard enough to draw blood, but she barely felt the sting.

There had to be some kind of clue around here, something that might help Ludovic get his bearings.

Further into the middle of the space between the trees, the undergrowth grew even thicker, and Roux waded through it as best she could.

Then, suddenly, her foot came down on something hard. The weeds were too thick to see through, so she stretched her leg out, feeling with her foot. The hard object continued, disappearing into the weeds further than Roux could reach, and a great pulse of hope shot through her.

Ignoring the thorns, she started tearing at the brambles with both hands until she'd cleared enough of a space to crouch down. Her fingers found the hard object. It was some kind of stone, rough, a few inches wide, with worn, blunted edges, and Roux's heart gave another leap, but she couldn't call Ludovic over until she knew for sure.

She pulled up more brambles, following the line of that stone shape, until her palms were slick with blood, but it was worth it. The stone line she'd found was part of a wall. Something had stood here once.

"Ludovic," she called. "I've found something."

He hurried over to her.

"Look," she started, but Ludovic's expression was stormy. He took her hand and turned it over.

"What have you done to yourself?" he said.

Roux pulled her hand back. "It's nothing," she said, even though the countless small cuts were really starting to sting. "This is more important. Look."

Ludovic gave her another disapproving look before turning his attention to the piece of wall that Roux had uncovered.

"That is what I think it is, right?" she said.

Ludovic traced the wall with his fingertips. "Yes," he said, his voice very quiet. "I think these were the foundations of the house."

Roux gazed around the vast tangle of undergrowth they had yet to clear. "Okay, so how are we doing this?"

Ludovic tipped back his head and looked up at the stars. "The land has changed, but the sky hasn't. I don't think we need to uncover the rest of the foundations."

"Really?"

Ludovic stepped back, away from the section of wall they'd found, still looking up at the sky. He turned slightly to the right, then the left, then moved back a space. "This was the bedroom," he said.

Roux stared down at the stone remains, trying to imagine how it must once have looked.

Ludovic walked forward, around the thickest parts of the undergrowth. He whispered as he moved, and Roux realised he was counting steps.

"The kitchen would have been about here," he said, pausing. He turned to the left, and moved forward, still counting steps. "Somewhere here we grew vegetables."

Roux scanned the ground that he'd just indicated, but of course there was no trace of a vegetable patch now.

Ludovic turned left again, tracing the contours of the house from memory. "This would have been the front door," he said, gesturing with both hands.

Roux joined him, gazing at the space where Ludovic had lived. "We could probably find more of the foundations," she said softly.

"I don't need to. I can find the grave from here," Ludovic said.

"I thought you might want to see what was left of the house."

Ludovic considered that, his forehead furrowed.

Roux didn't want to clear any brambles – her hands hurt too much – but she would do it with a smile on her face if it would help Ludovic.

"No," Ludovic said. "I just want to find the grave."

He moved away from the place where the house had once stood, and headed further into the trees. Roux followed him. A couple of times he stopped, checking his bearings, and then he kept walking, silent as a ghost. After a short time, he veered slightly to the left, and then he stopped, his hands fisted at his sides.

"It's here," he said.

Roux crept forward. She could see no obvious sign of a grave, just as there'd been no signs of the vegetable patch, but that was hardly surprising after all this time.

Ludovic knelt in front of a small spiky shrub and pressed his hands to the ground. "She's down here," he said.

Roux knelt beside him, staring at this small, forgotten patch of land where Ludovic's daughter lay.

"We buried her with her mother, so neither of them would be alone," Ludovic said. His voice hitched, and his fingers curled into the earth as if he could reach Marie.

Roux closed her eyes. The pain in his voice made everything else fade away. "I'm sorry. I should never have suggested this."

Ludovic looked at her, his eyes gleaming with reddish tears in the moonlight. "I'm glad you did. Thank you for getting me out here."

Roux placed her hand over his, where it still clenched the ground. "I bet you were a really good dad," she said, her own eyes prickling with tears.

"I hope that I was, for the short time that we had together."

"Have you ever thought about erecting some kind of memorial for her, back at Belle Morte?"

"No," said Ludovic at once. "I don't share her story with many people, and I don't want to change that."

"We could put a memorial here instead?" Roux suggested.

Ludovic shook his head. "I don't want anyone else knowing where she's sleeping. She's safe here."

A few tears spilled over, and Roux brushed them away. "Tell me more about her," she said.

For hours they sat by the unmarked grave, while Ludovic told Roux story after story. Some of them made her laugh, some made her cry, and all of them built a clearer picture of the little girl that Ludovic had loved so fiercely and mourned so deeply.

Eventually it grew close enough to morning that they had to leave. They still had several miles to walk back to the hotel, and Roux needed to be there before sunrise.

Before they left, Ludovic kissed his fingertips and pressed them to the ground. "Sleep tight, my darling," he whispered.

Roux suspected that he wouldn't come here again.

She held out her hand, and Ludovic took it, letting her pull him to his feet. Quietly they walked away from the ghosts of Ludovic's former life.

"Did you ever want more kids?" Roux asked, as they emerged from the trees.

"No. I'd never realised I wanted them at all until Marie came along, but when she died, that part of me died with her," Ludovic said.

In some way, that was for the best, because it meant he'd never again have to watch his child die.

"Do you regret that you can't have them now?" Ludovic asked.

"I hadn't given it all that much thought, to be honest. I was only eighteen when I died, so kids weren't foremost on my mind. And now I can't have them, and I can't change that. This is the life I have now." She cupped Ludovic's cheek. "I wouldn't change that either, because this, what we have together, is worth the whole world."

Ludovic kissed her, so fiercely and passionately that Roux really wished they didn't have to rush back to the hotel. "Hold that thought," she gasped. "Outdoor sex is fun, but it'll be a bit less sexy if I start burning up when the sun rises."

"I would die before I let that happen," said Ludovic seriously.

"And that's so romantic that I'm getting weak at the knees, but I'd rather not put it to the test."

They made it back to the hotel just as dawn was turning the world grey and misty and ethereal. Their room was fitted with black-out curtains, and Roux flopped onto the bed, suddenly exhausted.

Ludovic climbed onto the bed and lay beside her.

"Is there anywhere else you want to visit? Maybe Lucille's grave? Or your childhood home?"

"No," said Ludovic sharply. Then his voice softened. "Sorry. I know that the man I am today is not the boy who fled from that home, covered in his stepfather's blood, but I can't ever go back there. I just can't."

"Hey." Roux leaned on one elbow so she could look down at Ludovic. She traced his mouth with her fingertip. "You don't have to justify that to me or anyone. If there's anywhere you want to go, I'll go with you. If there's anywhere you want to go, but you want to do it alone, then I'll wait right here. And if you don't want to go anywhere else, that's fine too. We can just stay here in the hotel." She grinned and bent down to kiss him. "I'm sure we can keep ourselves occupied."

Ludovic ran his hand along Roux's thigh, his touch gentle. "Thank you for finding those foundations tonight. I wouldn't have found Marie without you."

"I'll help you find anything you need."

Ludovic's eyes shifted away from her, lost in thought.

"I don't think I need to go anywhere else. You helped me put a lot of ghosts to rest, and I don't want to dig them back up," he said at last.

Roux laid her head on Ludovic's chest, right where his heart would once have beat, and closed her eyes. Ludovic put his arms around her, and they fell asleep like that, holding each other in the dark. 

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