"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?" Luke 9:25 

"Why do I feel so small?"

The flame on his hand has now grown smaller in light, just like how Jungkook feels in this moment as he aimlessly walks down a meadow; A vast meadow of snow, but he wasn't cold.

The fire kept him warm.

"You're losing sight of me," The fire spoke back, flickering in his hands as a gust of wind flew over it, "You can't hear me anymore."

Jungkook looks down at the flame, frowning, "Don't leave me."

"I won't leave you."

"Please," Jungkook whimpers, fighting against the wind blowing against him, "Please don't leave me."

"I'm right here."

The wind became too strong against his body, and Jungkook panicked as the flame began to flicker more on the palm of his hand while his other arm tried to be the shield. With another gush of wind, it's bound to go out. 

So Jungkook cried out, "Help me, I'm scared you're going to go away!"

"Just hold on a little more."

"I-I can't! It's pushing me back!"

"Be strong, I'm with you."

A stronger gush pushes Jungkook back, forcing a sob out of his lips as both of his hands cover over the flame, falling to his knees, "I can't! I can't! I'm scared to lose you! I can't do it!"

The wind grew feverish now, snow gushing everywhere, nearly blinding Jungkook from even seeing the flame. 

"Remember, I will never give you something you won't be able to bear. I'll always provide a way of escape," The flame comforts the hysterical boy, "Look up."

Jungkook through his tears looks up through the blizzard, seeing a silhouette walking towards him in a distance. So far yet growing so near. Jungkook can't tell who it was, but the presence is so warm and strong as it makes its way closer to him that it even slowed the winds in his aid.

"But you must be willing to accept help when given my child."

"Raven!"

Jungkook's eyes startles open, his vision adjusting quickly to his surroundings to realize he's in a car. Blinking a few times back to reality, Jungkook sees Karma beside him, eyeing him with a smile and his glossy eyes - looking far more formal than Jungkook has ever seen him dressed before.

What's going on again?

"Damn you were in deep," Karma chuckles, "We're almost there."

There?

Furrowing his eyebrows, Jungkook for a moment forgot that he was on his way to the Runway Fashion Event - representing the Balenciaga brand. Everyone has been anticipating for this event, specifically his agency since it's a big move for him as the ambassador. 

Especially with making a concrete name for himself, even Karma.

"Look alive kid," Namjoon snickers to him, sitting on the other side of Karma, "We're around the corner."

Jungkook blinks a few times once to forcefully wake up, checking on his phone camera if his sleep didn't ruin his make-up, but thankfully Taehyung was there to provide any assistance on the matter. Once he made sure looked presentable, the car arrives to the red-carpet area. There's a long line of cars waiting to drop off their celebrity, so it gave Namjoon enough time for a prep-talk to them.

"Alright, this is a huge moment for you guys. You won't only be representing the brand, but the country of South Korea itself. Yes, even though it's good represent your image, don't go all out there being disrespectful," Namjoon advises, looking between the two, "You guys have already had loads of media training, this is no different. Be confident, model for the brand, and then get inside. From there's that's when your tasks starts while the show goes on."

Karma blinks at him, "What task?"

"Talk to people, make friends, get paps talking," Jungkook answered, looking outside to the paparazzi's taking pictures of the cars, "Be charming if that helps, maybe sleep with someone along the way."

Karma nods to this, smiling in agreement, "Consider it done."

Namjoon loves how quick Karma is to go with the flow - Unlike how Jungkook would ask loads of questions, Karma just does it without asking and keeps it moving.

The ideal idol to follow instructions. 

He smiles towards the blond, right before looking to Jungkook, "Get invited to after parties, will you? That's where the spicy things happen."

Jungkook only winks back to him, just as the car stops in front of the entrance to the red carpet, the driver giving them the go.

"Good luck."

The door of the backseat opens, and Jungkook takes a deep breath, trying to get into his Raven ego before he steps out the car. The second he places a foot down to the carpet; an erosion of voices and flashes immediately snaps to his direction. However, he paid no mind initially as he steps aside, giving Karma room to show himself and step onto the carpet. 

Now that's where the voices blared louder, desperately trying to snatch the attention of the two artists. When Jungkook looked up, fixing his gaze around, he breathed in the large red carpet with golden rails on either side to hold back the paparazzi's, followed by various sections ahead with interviewers already asking various of celebrities' questions before going into the building.

Being here, in this moment, felt so surreal to Jungkook.

It's so similar to the Met Gala with such interesting and exquisite fashion he's swarmed by, top class celebrities, and no fans in sight - only professional paparazzi's taking pictures.

For a second, the red carpet looked a little too long and intimidating to walk through. It gave him little nerves, for a moment considering on finding a shortcut around here or something - since now he knows all eyes will be on him, and not just filled with praises. Doubt clouded his mind, not feeling as though he truly deserves being here - in a place of such high acknowledgement. 

It made him feel small.

"Well, time to get this show rolling," Karma beams, interlacing his arm with Jungkook's, "Let's go!"

And that right there was what Jungkook needed, to be reminded that he wasn't alone.

Karma was right here, in the same boat as him, and luckily for him with three lines of cocaine swimming in his body to keep him energetic.

It'll be fast, and then it'll be over.

He just has to do it.

Besides, he has done plenty of similar events such as these, so this should be nothing.

So, Jungkook forced his mind back to think of Raven, his persona.

Cocky.

Confident.

Rebellious.

A villain.

Composed.

Someone who doesn't care about anyone or anything.

A coldhearted fucker, a jerk.

That's who he is.

Raven.

Feeling that sensation of how he'd feel when he's Raven overcome him, Jungkook soon enough shifts into a smirk and takes a step forward. Walking down every step chipped more and more of his doubts, fueling him with this overwhelming confidence that for a second, he even forgot why he was nervous in the first place.

He deserves to be here.

They all know it, and they're at his feet - begging for angles and pictures of him alone.

Power, so much power.

They all are here for him.

What a hectic feeling.

Posing before them felt like second nature, knowing they're gawking over his perfect physic fitting so well with the rebellious yet formal attire from his brand, capturing the darkness the of make-up on his eyes. 

Various of pictures he did on his own, others he did with Karma, especially when standing in front of the Balenciaga logo - realizing how they're all just here for him, the talk of the event, the trend mastermind. 

The world's popular artists in this very moment.

"Raven!"

Abruptly Jungkook froze, hearing a familiar voice from the midst of the loud noises surrounding him.

What.. 

He's here too?

Slowly Jungkook turns his head, meeting the eyes of the one and only J-Hope - the pave maker of South Korea, the reason as to why many artists are going global, including Jungkook himself.

The star of Oasis Entertainment before Jungkook.

J-Hope.

The man approaches him with a wide smile, wearing something clearly his style of a mix of formal yet retro as his representation for Louis Vuitton in various of colors. There's this surreal feeling that riles up in Jungkook's chest to the sight of him, not believing he's standing here with thee J-Hope. 

He has never met J-Hope formally since he was a trainee, only seen him around from a distance due to how the man's schedule was always busy with something and being on such high demand.

But now he's here, right in front of Jungkook, and it almost felt as though Jungkook is meeting his idol for the first time. 

He loves J-Hope as an artist. He's one of the main reasons why Jungkook joined Oasis in the first place. Having that same artist recognize him, even give him a hand in his greeting, has officially made Jungkook believe that he truly has made it.

He made it to meet his idol.

"Wow! Good to see you here!" J-Hope beams to him, hands on his shoulders as he looks over his attire, "Our CEO never told me you were coming! This is so exciting!"

Jungkook is still in a daze, placing a hand to his own chest, "You know me?"

This had J-Hope laughing, an arm around his shoulders, "Of course! We're company buddies, and you're practically a star! Come, let's take a picture."

This has to be a dream, this can't be real.

And if it's real, how lucky and honored he is to be in his presence.

Completely in awe to this moment, Jungkook only follows J-Hope's move blindly. Karma was ready to pose beside him with his own excited smile to meeting the artists, but J-Hope raises a hand, leaning towards him so Jungkook wouldn't hear, "Sorry, big stars only. The other side needs some attention though."

Karma's expression falls, glancing between Jungkook and J-Hope before it falls to Jungkook - who was far too awestruck to be in front of J-Hope to notice what he said. Despite the disappointment he felt by such words, Karma just smiles it off forcefully and turns to the other side, posing for the paps wanting his attention. 

Now feeling as though he doesn't belong here.

Jungkook still stares at J-Hope as they pose before the camera, just before he shakes it off to pose properly as they capture various of pictures of the two, to then posing to the other side.

Once they were done, Jungkook finally was able to breathe and be given the time to express his excitement, "You have no idea how long I've looked up to you! Literally, you're such an amazing artist and an inspiration to Korea."

J-Hope laughs to this, "Well, looks like I'm not the only one! Look at how quick you blew up to the charts! You're bold for coming out with such a concept and succeeding!"

The compliment gushed up Jungkook, smiling sheepishly as J-Hope guides them further down the carpet. Karma follows behind them with his frown, keeping it professional for the cameras but giving distance to the duo - especially when it came to the interviews. He did have a few interviewees wanting to interview him, which surrounded mainly on questions about Jungkook and his performances.

Not once have they asked or commented about his opening acts.

Jungkook did various of interviews alongside J-Hope, a couple alone, and then soon realizing that Karma was isolating himself - quickly going to do interviews with him as well. Jungkook did notice the shift in energy from him and was confused as to why the sudden change, but left it be for a conversation away from the cameras.

Just as they were walking farther down, closer to the building, Jungkook's eyes suddenly drifted to a man being interviewed. A Korean man actually, which surprised Jungkook since he expected only for him, J-Hope and Karma to be the only Koreans here, and if so why didn't his agency mention anything of the matter.

Would've made him far more comfortable if he knew sooner.

The guy had a gentle aura about him even from a distance, his side profile being so breathtaking as Jungkook passed by him. He has a throaty voice from what Jungkook picked up on, not high pitched nor low, almost like the light shades of honey in sweetness.

While Karma's voice is the thick depth of it, this man is the tender surface. 

What an enchanting voice.

He's dressed very modest, his hair style resembling so much of a child in some way - having it almost like a mullet with bangs covering over his face, glazing over the elegant features of what is seen on his face.

And for a split moment he turns his face back, and Jungkook's steps slowed when they made eye contact. 

Jungkook immediately felt it.

He felt this.... Thing.

It was something so sudden and so indescribable that it left him unable to even think a proper thought. It was such forceful presence that even when Jungkook wanted to look away, he couldn't.

He couldn't, nor wanted to.

It's not like Karma's, which is trancing and charming, or J-Hope, that's confident and bright.

His is different, and Jungkook can't even put it into words.

The man is handsome, sure, but it wasn't even about his appearance that caused such an impact.

Jungkook just doesn't know.

Who is he?

"Ahh, yes! Jungkook, J-Hope, please stand there for pictures!" The coordinator for the photographs instructs, motioning them where to stand, "Taemin, you as well. We'd like a photo representation of the South Korean artists in this event."

Taemin, his name is Taemin.

Jungkook couldn't keep his eyes off him, even after he broke eye contact and slowly goes to stand beside J-Hope, who's at the center of the two artists. J-Hope didn't seem to know who this Taemin man was either, but either way, he posed for the camera -

"Excuse me," Taemin suddenly says, his voice capturing the attention of the paparazzi's and both men from proceeding, but his eyes were focused on Karma - who was standing on the side out of frame, "Aren't you going to join in too?"

Karma seemed taken back by his words, not expecting it from someone who doesn't even know him, but politely smiles and shakes his head, "It's okay, it's for big artists. I'm just a guest."

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows to his words.

Guest? He was never a guest.

They're doing this together. 

Karma is also an artist like how he is.

Jungkook was just about to interject, but J-Hope only pats Taemin's shoulder, waving Karma off, "Oh leave him, he's a nobody. Hasn't debuted yet."

Snapping his head to J-Hope, Jungkook quickly goes to Karma's defense, "He's not a nobody, he's an artist too."

Slowly J-Hope looks at him, something in his eyes now growing dark, "Keep your image before the cameras. Remember, that's what made you get here in the first place."

Jungkook lips sealed, immediately fixating his eyes on the cameras taking subtle pictures of them. 

The image.

Keep the image before the cameras.

Raven.

Be Raven.

Taemin didn't break his eyes away from Karma, despite J-Hope's waver, extending a hand out to him, "Come."

Karma looks between his hand and his face, "I don't fit in."

"You're right, you don't," Karma's frown deepens, "You outshine brighter than the most precious rubies. Don't dim it away because of the world."

Jungkook's lips parted to such words, seeing how Karma's face crack in gentle softness by it as he hesitantly takes Taemin's hand - who only glides him to his side with a smile and face the cameras. 

Their pictures were taken quickly, and Jungkook was just about to approach Karma to talk to him, but J-Hope was on his side in second to lead him inside. He looked back momentarily to see Karma talking to Taemin, seeming to be much more relaxed than how he was earlier as they go inside.

He has to keep it together, he can't break character now.

Guess that conversation will have to be for another time.

It didn't take long for J-Hope to introduce Jungkook to every celebrity he knew there, many to which Jungkook would dream of meeting. Many familiar faces from his birthday party, including Ariana Grande. He was over the moon when he met Dove Cameron and Labrinth, since they're music geniuses. It was a bit overwhelming having so many people be so excited to meet him, or even know him in general, but in some way it made him welcomed.

It was nice, especially once he started having alcohol in his system. 

The show sooner or later started, and Karma has returned by his side with a more detached energy about him. Jungkook places a hand over his, focused on him, "Can we talk later? Somewhere private?"

Karma was tense, his eyes focused on the runway, but he briefly looks down to Jungkook's hands and then to his eyes. Didn't take long for his expression to soften slightly, nodding briefly - just as the show started. 

There's this thick tension boiling between them that was making it difficult for either of them to focus on show now. Jungkook was confused and clearly unsure with what is going on, in general. He should feel happy that he got to meet J-Hope and so many celebrities that he looked up to, even attending this show, yet now he's only left feeling these tingles on his fingers, and he couldn't stop drumming it on his leg.

It escalated to being unable to stop shifting, being more aware to how crowded this place really is - making everything feel hot in Jungkook's body now. He's licking his lips, feeling this pressure on his chest blossom the more his eyes drifted to his surroundings to see so many unfamiliar faces.

By the time the Balenciaga designs pooled out, Jungkook couldn't take it.

He excused himself momentarily, getting to his feet. That action alone made him feel this shortness of breath like a slap across the face, even dizzy, yet he forced himself to find his way to the bathroom. Luckily everyone was far too focused on the show to pay any mind to coming here, so he's in this empty bathroom alone.

Hands planted on the elegant sink, Jungkook closes his eyes and takes deep breaths - yet whenever he took those deep breaths, he'd feel that pressure on his chest stronger and his heart pounding so fast in his chest. Now he couldn't breathe because of the paranoia fueling his head to how his heart feels, this strong feeling as though he was going to just drop at any second sent goosebumps over his skin - panicking now on how he's here, alone, and if something were to happen, no one would be aware since they're all too busy.

This overwhelming anxiety reached his throat now, forcing tears in his eyes to the scare it's giving him. He places a shakily hand on his chest, not able to feel his heartbeat, so he places his fingers on his neck to feel the thudding against his fingers.

His body suddenly felt this cold wave hit him, as if his blood pressure dropped, feeling cold sweat pooling his skin with this sharpness of breathlessness.

What is going on?

Why is this happening?

Now, why now?!

Why is it hard to breathe?

In distress, Jungkook immediately goes to call his mom, feeling like a terrified child right now.

Yet he was left to wobble a frown when the phone went to voice message after it rings. It's nighttime over there in Korea, no doubt she's likely sleeping. By now Jungkook's mouth feels dry, desperation overcoming his senses as he sways between his feet. 

He's going to pass out, he feels it.

He needs a hospital.

This can't be normal.

He literally feels as though he's going to have a heart attack at any moment -

The bathroom door opens, and Jungkook looks up to the mirror to see the reflection of Taemin stepping inside. Jungkook can't even say how he feels right now upon seeing him since he's too pent up with panic, yet Taemin didn't seem as though he came here with the purpose of using the bathroom.

Quickly he was on Jungkook's side, noticing his shortness of breath and sweat glistening his skin, wordlessly going to splash water on Jungkook's face gently. The coldness startled Jungkook for a moment, feeling his heart practically leap in his body.

Just a leap away from stopping is how it truly felt.

"Stop!" Jungkook spats, edging away from him, "Just leave, I'm f-fine."

Taemin places a hand on his shoulder, "No, you're not."

Jungkook grinds his teeth, closing his eyes, "I... I don't need your help. Get out."

"Don't reject the help when it's given," Jungkook's eyes snapped open, "Don't hide. Not from me."

Taemin doesn't even know Jungkook like that to be using such words, yet something about it sounded so familiar to Jungkook's ears, 

He's heard it before.

Not like it matters right now.

He can't exactly tough this out right now since he doesn't even know what's going on. 

He hates getting help, but now he needs it.

"I don't feel okay," Jungkook admits in a heave, choking up, "I-I don't know -"

"Shh, it's okay," Taemin says quietly, guiding him to the floor so he can sit, "You're okay."

"N-No, I'm not," Jungkook just barely blurts out, his breath still spiking up as more tears whelm his eyes in panic, "I-I can't breathe. I literally f-feel like I'm going to pass out and have a h-heart attack."

Taemin grabs two paper towel and wets it, going back to crouching down to Jungkook, handing it to him, "Squeeze this please."

Jungkook eyed that and then to Taemin, "Did you not hear what I just -"

"Trust me," Taemin says again, meeting his eyes, "Squeeze it."

Trust in me.

Jungkook heard the words in his head, now looking at Taemin and then the paper towels before using his hands to squeeze over it. It was freezing cold when he did so, nearly releasing it, but Taemin wasn't done. 

He faces Jungkook calmly, "I'm going to need you to focus on me, okay?" His tone is so focused and calm, it really reflected back to Jungkook to mimic it, "Can you tell me what you see on me? Give me five things."

Why is he saying this?

Shouldn't he be calling an ambulance?

Jungkook purses his lips and eyed him, "Your b-black hair," He manages to pant out, eyeing the silk of black hair, "Almond brown eyes," His eyes flickered to his lips, eyeing it intensely, "Pink lips, it's pretty," His eyes then drifts to his attire, "Black turtleneck, and-"

Jungkook pauses, right as his eyes landed on the crucifix around Taemin's neck - almost the same as Jimin's but this one being very worn out and old.

Probably from years and years of using it.

Immediately Jungkook wanted to roll his eyes, expecting some type of preach from him eventually, especially if he knows who he is, "Your God isn't going cause a miracle and save me."

Taemin didn't seem taken back or offended by his words, instead he places his hands over Jungkook's, that's still holding tightly to the paper towel ball, "I didn't say anything about God."

"You probably were thinking it as you looked at me."

"Thinking what?"

"God, please save this poor and corrupted soul from dying," Jungkook mocks, grimacing, "You guys like to believe you're healers through him - a fake man in the sky marking our every move."

Jungkook doesn't know why he's attacking him on the matter, but something about seeing that crucifix provoked the same repulse as it did when he saw Jimin with it for his birthday. 

He can't help himself but go for where it hurts.

Taemin sits back on his knees, tilting his head to the side, "What did God do to you for you to be so angry with him?"

"I can't be angry at something that's not real. I just don't believe."

Slowly nodding to him, Taemin didn't seem to be judging, "It's okay if you don't, doesn't take away how he believes in you."

"Please spare me the religious lectures."

"But he heals," Taemin says back, a soft smile on his lips as he lets go of Jungkook's hands, "Like how he did to you."

Jungkook didn't even realize how he no longer was feeling that same suffocation and dizziness shivers as how he felt earlier. No longer was he wheezing or feeling cold, not even his heart skipping beats in his chest.

It all just.... stopped.

Completely.

Jungkook literally felt as though he was dying, how?

"Thank you Jesus," Taemin says praises quietly with a smile, hand on his crucifix, "From my eyes, God helped you through me. From your non-believing eyes, had a panic attack and needed to focus on something to feel better."

Panic attack...

Jungkook never got a panic attack before.

Now Jungkook looks at him, confused, "So how was it God if I just had to focus somewhere else for it to go away?"

"Because he sent me to you," Taemin says softly, his voice feeling like a warm hug in the middle of a blizzard, "And luckily for you, I've had my fair share of moments like yours. He knew who to send to help you, and it worked."

Now Jungkook was left without words, but Taemin suddenly got up to his feet, brushing his pants, "You can take your time before going out there. It was nice meeting you, Jungkook."

The way he said his name, his real name, was like a zap to Jungkook's body.

Jungkook.

How long since he has been called by his name....

And just as he came, silently he left the same way, but on his way-out Taehyung steps inside soon after. 

Immediately his eyes widen upon seeing Jungkook on the floor, quickly moving towards him, "Are you okay?! You took a while so I decided to - "

"I'm okay," Jungkook dismisses, now looking at Karma with his own soften gaze, "But we need to talk. I'm not going out there until we do."

Karma sees the seriousness in his tone, momentarily glancing to the door and going to lock it - for the sake of their privacy. There are more bathrooms this building could possibly have either way. 

Sitting on the floor in front of Jungkook now, Karma's gaze is hard as he waits to hear what the other man has to say. Jungkook clearly looks a bit at a loss of words, clearly recovering from his episode as it mellows down. His eyes are focused down to the paper towels on the palm on his hand, cold yet warming up, but not like how warm Taemin's touch felt on his hand.

A touch with no underlying intentions - not of lust, need, greed, or of pride.

A touch of pure sincerity on Jungkook's tender skin. 

That was starting to feel dry from the lack of such dose of affection. 

Slowly, Jungkook flickers his gaze up to Karma, whispering quietly, "I want you to know that you're not anything less to me here," Karma's expressions falls, "You're my friend, my partner in this. You're much more than just an opening act, and I don't want you to feel left out while being by my side in this journey we're going through together."

Karma looks intently to Jungkook's eyes, looking between his gaze as he breathes him in, and suddenly.....It was as though Jungkook didn't recognize him.

Instead of looking upset, or expressing the depressing emotions of how today went, he smiled.

A smile that didn't meet those glossy eyes.

"What's my name, Raven?"

Once again is Jungkook's mind blank, by this point - having it be a month by this point since the two have known each other - and still, Jungkook doesn't know Karma's real name.

His silence once again spoke between them, twitching Karma's smile, "That's right, you don't know. I can't be anything more than just that for you Jungkook, just Karma," And he gets to his feet, chuckling, "You think I'm hurt? Or offended with what J-Hope said? This is the industry, it's how life works, and thankfully, I was prepared for it."

Then Karma looks at himself in front of the mirrors, adjusting his attire, "Something I learned is to do what I'm told, and I'll get rewards. There's nothing more I've ever wanted than to be acknowledged, and this Oasis was the beauty of gems through my eyes to express my musically, and it still is. So, I don't care what I have to do, or who gets in my way, as long as I get to where I want to be."

Jungkook's heart beats faster in his chest, just as Karma faces him, "We're not the good guys Raven, we're the villain in this fantasy we created together, and we dance with the Devil to get here. I'm not weak, if anything, I'm in great power of myself, you should start to believe the same too."

The words pondered in Jungkook's head, letting it sink in how true are Karma's words.

He's right, they are the villains in this fantasy they've created, and they're not the good guys.

Nor weak either. 

They did what they had to do to get here, and nothing, or no one will ever tell them otherwise on where they stand.

As long as they make it to the other side, that's all that counts.

That's all that matters.

Smirking to his words, Jungkook feels this heaviness in his chest of a high tingle crawling up his body, leaving him to feel almost giddily. Rising to his feet, he approaches Karma and wraps his arms around his body, grinning sinisterly as he lays his chin on his shoulder.

"You're right, you're absolutely in great power of yourself," He purrs, having Karma match his gaze, "Let's enjoy our night then, shall we?"

______________________

A/N:

Gotta love a Bonnie and Clyde.

Well, here came Taemin's entry! Any thoughts?

Next chapter is about to be a little chaotic, just a heads up.

Jungkook about to go through it.

I PURPLE YOU!! <33