Being Watched

Chapter 19

I pick up my black handbag and stand up from the blue chair I’m sitting on. I follow my parents and the rest of the people who are now forming a line in front of the small desk.

I give the woman my plane ticket and passport when I arrive to the small white desk she’s sitting behind. She checks them and hands them back to me.

“Have a nice flight!” She says in a monotonous tone and I can hear her colleague on the other white desk saying the same thing to all the passengers.

“Thanks,” I say, giving her a smile before walking forward.

It’s three in the morning but inside the airport it never seems like it’s at night. There are always very bright lights everywhere and all the shops are always open so without a watch, I wouldn’t know the difference between day time and night time.

I stop in front of the plane door then step in with my right foot. Ever since the first time I traveled, I’ve been doing that. I was at the age of twelve when I traveled for the first time. I went with my parents to Greece and John had told me to put my right foot on the plane first because it’s bad luck to put my left foot first. I laughed at him back then and called him stupid but the next day, I found myself telling my parents to put their right foot first and I did so as well. Ever since that time, I’ve been doing that every time I travel.

I start walking in the plane, searching for my seat. I can hear the chatter of the people on the plane as I search for the seat 42B. I have a long walk, I think as I pass the seat number 15.

When I get to my seat, I see a middle aged woman sitting next to the window so I smile at her before taking my book and jacket out of my handbag and putting it under my seat.

I sit down and then put on my seat belt. My parents are both sitting behind me and on my right a man in a suit arrives soon and takes the seat.

He sighs as he runs a hand through his blond hair, messing it up. He made it right on time because as soon as he buckles his seat belt, the plane starts moving.

“Right on time,” I tell him and he lets out a shaky laugh.

“I overslept,” he explains and that’s when I notice that his shirt is not tucked in properly and his tie is tilted to the right. I bet he doesn’t have the same color of socks in both feet but I won’t look at his feet. That would be weird.

“It shows,” I joke and he laughs again, looking relieved.

“If I missed that flight I would’ve lost all my money,” he says to me.

Apparently, he has a really important meeting to attend and it would determine whether his company would get better or go bankrupt. He says that he has more chance of making it better than getting bankrupt if he attends that meeting but if he doesn’t then he’ll definitely lose everything.

We talk for a while on the plane then he falls asleep and I start reading my book. I only get the chance to read three chapters before the plane lands.

I wake up the man to my right who is still sleeping like a rock.

When he wakes up, he gives me a grateful smile.

“Good luck!” I tell him once we’re off the plane.

“Thank you!” He replies before grabbing his suitcase and walking out of the airport.

My parents and I wait for our bags to arrive. Soon, I see my suitcase and point at it. My dad nods and when it arrives near us, he grabs it and puts it on the ground next to my feet.

I thank him as I move aside slightly so that all the people can get their bags. When my parents’ suitcases arrive, we head out of the airport.

Half an hour later, the taxi drops us off at home. I stand in front of my house and just stare at it. It’s still the same as we left it that day. The only difference is that the tree in our front yard doesn’t have leaves anymore. When we left it was full of bright green leaves.

My mom unlocks the front door and once I step inside, I notice how much I have missed this house.

I go to my room and my heart clenches when I see it so empty and so dark with the closed shutters.

The first thing I do is go over to my window, open the curtains and the window. Cold wind comes in but I don’t care. It feels nice.

Then I start cleaning my room. I haven’t been here in months so it’s a bit dusty. An hour later, once I’m done with the cleaning, I start putting the clothes and items I brought with me in their places.

I smile slightly when I see my closet with clothes inside instead of being empty and a book on my bedside table like it has always been and perfumes and deodorants on my desk.

As if by reflex, my eyes travel to the wall where there was once a screen. The small curtain was still there but I knew that behind it there wasn’t anything.

My phone starts ringing, making my gaze travel to where it was on my bed.

I grin when I see John’s name on my screen.

“I’m officially ten minutes away from you right now!” I say without even a hello.

“Welcome home!” He says excitedly.

“Thanks,” I reply. “Are you going to school now?”

“Yeah,” he says. “So I can’t see you before three in the afternoon.”

“Hmm that’s okay,” I tell him, a plan already forming in my head. “We’ll all go to the park after you finish school. I missed the park.”

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll tell everyone.”

“Cool,” I reply. “Have a nice day at school and I’ll see you soon.”

“See you!” He says before hanging up.

I yawn, feeling tired so I put an alarm on my phone for eleven thirty and go to sleep.

I sleep for the next four hours before my alarm goes off. I wake up and put on my black pants and a striped black and grey sweater. I comb my hair and put on a grey beanie.

I slip on my black mini boots and grab my gloves, purse, and jacket before going downstairs. My parents are still sleeping so I write them a note saying that I was out with my friends and if they needed anything to call me.

I am going to surprise them by showing up at school during lunch time.

I walk the short distance to school, enjoying everything around me. I smile as I see the neighbor’s dog still lazy as ever, still in the same position he’s always been in. The sky is cloudy and it looks like it is going to rain.

The houses are all decorated with lights or huge Santa Clauses in the front gardens. I could see inside a few windows of homes the Christmas trees with the colorful lights.

Soon, the familiar building appears. I walk the familiar path to the front door of my school building. I have really missed it here.

I walk down the hallways which were still empty because the bell won’t ring before another two minutes. I smile when I reach my locker. There’s still that black spot on top of it and the teddy bear sticker that Jack put on there during our first day of school.

My smile turns into a grin when the bell rings. I run to the class where John will be coming out from. Like all the other times, he’s the first one out of the classroom.

He’s rushing to the cafeteria so he doesn’t notice me there and bumps into me, making us both fall to the ground.

“Is that how you greet your best friend?” I joke.

He stands up quickly and looks down at me before a smile forms on his lips. He holds my hands and pull me up with so much force that I stumble but I don’t fall this time because he hold me in his arms.

“I missed you so much,” he says, hugging me tightly. I hug him back, feeling the familiar warm feeling I always get when I hug him.

He still smells the same and he looks the same.

“I missed you too,” I reply, squeezing him one final time before letting go.

He takes a look at me then says, “You’ve become prettier, if that’s possible.”

“Thank you,” I say, smiling at him as I wrap my arm around his waist and we start walking towards the cafeteria. His arm is around my shoulders keeping me warm.

We stop at least seven times when my old friends see me and start hugging me and asking for how long I was staying and how the new life is.

When we get to the cafeteria, it’s already halfway through their break time. I give John an apologetic look.

“Maybe I should’ve waited till school was over,” I say, feeling bad that he lost most of his break time because of me.

“No!” He says quickly. “I’m so glad you came now.”

I smile at him and before I can say anything else, people attack me and I hear several voices yelling at the same time so all I hear is ‘Ahh’.

When my attackers let me go, I can actually see who they are.

I grin at Martha, Carla, and Jack.

They start talking all together again and I laugh.

After a few minutes they notice that I can’t hear anything they’re saying so they all stop talking and we start laughing.

I smile when we sit on our usual table. I take a seat between John and Martha as they all start planning what we should do in the two weeks that I’m staying here.

They also tell me about all the teachers and their grades and the gossip that they haven’t told me yet.

The bell rings too soon though.

“I’ll be at the park at three. Don’t be late,” I tell them and they nod as they walk to their classes.

“I have history and music so I can skip,” John says to me.

I shake my head at him. “No, don’t skip. It’s only two hours.”

“I don’t want to go to class. Besides I need to talk to you,” he replies. The hallways are now almost empty and if he doesn’t leave now he’ll be late.

“We’ll talk later! We have all the time after school. Now go or you’ll be late,” I say, pushing him in the direction of his class.

But he’s stronger than me so he takes my hands in his and drags me outside.

“John!” I yell at him as I hear the bell ringing.

“Stop complaining and listen to me,” he says as we walk away from the school.

I finally sigh, knowing that he won’t change his mind and go back.

“All right,” I say. “What is so important that you had to tell me right now?”

He stays silent for a bit and I can see the park getting closer and closer to us. We reach the park and he still hasn’t said anything.

I start to get worried.

“What is it John? Is something wrong?” I ask, frowning.

“No,” he says then he sits on one of the benches. I sit next to him and wait for him to carry on.

“I’m in love with you,” he says and my eyes widen in shock.

“W-what?” I stutter.

Oh God please don’t let this happen.

“I’m in love with you,” he says again. “I have been for a while.”

No, this can’t be happening! I don’t want to lose my best friend because of that. What do I say? I never knew he was serious when he joked about us getting married someday. Sure I had my suspicions sometimes but I always thought I was over analyzing and it was just a joke.

“John, I-I…” I trail off. What do I tell him? “I live far away a-and um,” I stutter and feel like hitting my head against a tree.

He lowers his head and stares at our feet. My heart breaks as I see him like that. I always thought that I would be the one punching the person who hurt my best friend but I never thought I would be the one to hurt him.

“I-I’m so sorry John,” I tell him, lifting his head up. I watch as his warm eyes get filled with pain and sadness.

I swallow the lump in my throat and hug him because I can’t look at his face anymore. His arms go around my waist and he pulls me closer to him. He buries his face in my neck and I can feel his heart beat accelerating.

How come I never noticed this?

When we pull away, he gives me a sad smile and shrugs.

“Is… Is it possible?” He asks suddenly. “Can we be together someday?”

“I don’t know,” I reply honestly. “I wish I could fall in love with you John. You’re the guy every girl wants and you know me more than anyone.”

It is true. I really wish I am in love with John instead of Jeremy. John doesn’t avoid me when he feels like it, John does not yell at me when I confess weird things to him, and with John things are simple.

But my heart picks Jeremy and I can’t change that.

“I will wait,” he says. “If there’s a chance then I will wait.”

“No, don’t do that John. There are many girls that would want to be with you right now.”

“But I only want you,” he says and I look away from him.

I guess we’re both going through similar things. I want a guy that doesn’t want me.

“Life sucks,” I say suddenly.

“It does,” John replies. “Sometimes.”

We stay silent for a bit then I ask him the question that was on my mind ever since the beginning of our conversation.

“Is it going to be awkward?”

“No,” John replies. “You were my best friend before I fell in love with you.”

I smile at that. “Thanks.”

 At that moment I was more certain than ever that my friendship with John will be forever.

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