Being Watched

Chapter 15

This Monday morning I’m feeling more nervous than I did on the first day of school here. I’m scared of what Jeremy will say and I’m also scared of everyone finding out about me stalking him.

I feel like throwing up just by thinking of how everyone would react to news like that.

On my way to school, I start feeling angry as well. I’m angry at George for doing this to me and not giving me a reason, I’m angry at Jeremy for reacting like that, and I’m angry at myself for being such a creep and admitting it to Jeremy.

When I arrive to school, I get the urge to turn around and sprint back home, lock myself up in my room, and sleep all day.

I shiver because of the cold air and pull my jacket tighter around me.

Oh how nice would it be if I could hibernate. Then I wouldn’t have to face Jeremy or anyone else and I wouldn’t have to deal with this cold weather!

Shaking my head at the stupid thoughts, I force my legs to move forward, towards the entrance.

I open the classroom door slowly and step inside.

I stay by the door for a second, looking around. Everything seems normal so far. A few people glance at me and I wait for their reactions anxiously.

They just smile like they usually do and I feel a smile of relief spread on my lips. They don’t know anything.

Walking to my seat, I start to feel a little less nervous, knowing that the news wasn’t out and that only Jeremy knew about it.

For a second, I wish that I didn’t tell Jeremy about it but I know that I should’ve told him.

When I reach my seat, I find Jeremy sitting in his chair, thinking intently.

I don’t bother talking to him, I just put my bag on the floor and take out the copybook I need for first period.

Someone pokes my side and I jump, letting out a small shriek.

Gavin chuckles as I glare at him.

“I see you like being tickled,” he says mischievously and I give him a warning look.

“Don’t you dare tickle me!” I say sternly and he smirks.

 “I won’t,” he replies then adds, “For now.”

I roll my eyes at him and he grins.

“So I was thinking of having another movie night!” He says suddenly, making me smile.

 Before I can say anything else, Henry appears out of nowhere and says, “Are you planning a movie night without me?”

I laugh and tell him, “You are allowed to come too.”

“When and where?” He asks.

“We’ll do it at my place this Saturday,” I reply and they both nod.

“Do what?” Amelia asks as she walks closer to us. “Are you being a naught girl Stephany?”

She smirks at me and both guys chuckle as I blush.

“N-no! It’s a movie night!” I say and she laughs.

“I was just joking,” she says.

“Want to come?” I then ask.

 “Oh I can’t this Saturday. Laura and I are going on a double date with twins!” She says excitedly.

“Awesome!” I reply, smiling at her.

Emma, Rena, and Janna join the conversation soon and I invite them as well. Emma agrees but Rena and Janna can’t make it.

I wonder briefly if I should tell Jeremy but I know that he heard us talking and I made sure I said, ‘everyone is welcome’ during the conversation, indirectly telling him that he could come if he wanted to although I doubt he would.

During break time, Emma surprises me by asking, “Did you fight with Jeremy?”

“No,” I lied. “Why?”

“Because it seems like you’re avoiding each other,” she replies, eyeing me skeptically.

I just shrug indifferently, hoping that she would believe my act. I’m not sure she believes it but she lets the matter drop.

The rest of the school day passes very slowly. I really hate Mondays. I just want to get home, Skype with my friends, and have a relaxing evening with my parents.

When the final bell rings, I sprint out of the school. One of the reasons of having such a bad day is the fact that Jeremy avoided even looking at me today.

I shake my head to get rid of all the thoughts related to Jeremy as I turn on my laptop.

I change out of my school clothes and put on some sweatpants and a hoodie instead. When I’m done, my laptop is ready to be used. I tie my hair up in a ponytail and log in to my Skype account.

“Hi!” All my friends scream as soon as I can see their faces on my screen.

“Hey!” I say back, smiling at them.

Suddenly, they all start talking at once and I can’t make out what each person is saying so I yell at them all to shut up and when they do, I speak.

“I can’t understand what you’re all saying at the same time! I’ll talk to you all one by one,” I say.

“I’ll go first!” Jack yells and I see him walking away from the rest, taking the laptop with him. I notice that they are at Martha’s house, in the living room. Jack takes the laptop to the kitchen and sets it on the counter.

“How’s life without me?” He asks and without waiting for my reply he continues. “I know I know; life without me sucks. I mean I’m the most awesome person in the world! How can you even live without me?”

I burst out laughing at the typical Jack behavior. “Yes, Jack, my life sucks without you,” I say sarcastically.

“Is that sarcasm?” He asks, narrowing his eyes at me.

“No! Of course not!” I make sure to exaggerate the sarcasm and he rolls his eyes at me.

“Seriously, now,” he says, putting on his most serious face. “How are you doing?”

“I’m good,” I reply, smiling. “I miss you guys.”

“We miss you too,” he replies. “Things are not the same without you. I don’t have anyone to share with my skittles.”

I laugh at that. Jack and I are the only two in our group that like skittles. Don’t ask me how a person can’t like skittles but Martha, Carla, and John hate them.

Suddenly, Martha appears behind Jack and she starts yelling at him to get out of the kitchen because it’s her turn to speak to me.

I hear the kitchen door closing then both Martha and Carla appear on the screen.

“Hey,” I say, grinning at them.

“So what’s new?” Carla asks. “Did you go out with Andy?”

I told them about Andy once but I didn’t tell them if I agreed on going out with him or not. That’s when I notice that I haven’t been talking to them as much as the beginning and that made me feel sad. I didn’t want us to drift apart because of the distance. I guess I have always known that our Skype sessions will start to decrease but it still sucks now that it’s happening.

“Yeah but things didn’t work out so we’re just friends now,” I reply.

“Why not? He sounded perfect,” Martha says, frowning.

“I know but I just like someone else,” I say. I haven’t told them about Jeremy yet. I don’t plan on telling them about the stalking thing but I’ll tell them that he’s a guy in my class.

“Who?” Martha asks and I see them both waiting eagerly for my response.

“A guy in my class,” I reply, shrugging.

“What’s his name?” Carla asks.

“Jeremy,” I reply.

“Are you guys close?”

“It’s… complicated,” I reply uncomfortably.

“What do you mean?” They ask and I try to find something to say to them.

“Let it go for now,” I say. “Tell me about you guys. How are things going there?”

They let it drop and start telling me about some new gossip at our school and some funny stories about the teachers.

Soon, John appears on the screen and he kicks the girls out of the kitchen so that he can talk to me.

“You look prettier,” is the first thing John says as I appear on the screen.

I smile at him. “Thanks.”

“I miss you so much,” he says, sighing sadly. I always feel that he’s the one that misses me the most because he’s always sad when he talks to me.

“I miss you too,” I reply, giving him a small smile. It’s the longest time John and I have been apart. We have been best friends for a very long time. I’m still closer to him than the others. Even though we don’t Skype every day, we text every night.

“How’s everything with you? How are your parents? How’s school?” He asks.

“I’m good, my parents are good too. They love their job here. And school is great. My grades are better here,” I reply and he smiles.

“That’s great, Steph,” he says. “I just wish you didn’t have to go to the other side of the world.”

“Me too,” I reply. “But I’ll be back someday. And I’ll visit. I think we’ll be going there on Christmas.”

“That would be nice. I really miss having you around,” he says.

“I miss having you around too. You are, after all, my best friend,” I reply.

“And I always will be no matter where you are,” he says.

I hear the front door open and close and then my mother’s voice calling me to go downstairs and help her prepare dinner.

“I have to go,” I tell him. “My parents arrived.”

“Okay, let me just call the rest,” he says then he yells to the rest of our friends to come.

They all get in front of the screen and we talk for another couple of minutes before saying our goodbyes. I shut off my laptop and walk downstairs to the kitchen.

I help mom with dinner as we talk about school and their work.

I bring up the topic of going home for Christmas and she says that she’ll talk to dad about it. I take it as a good sign. With a little convincing, things might work out and we’ll be home for Christmas.

After dinner, my parents decide to watch some boring documentary so I decide to go for a walk because I don’t feel like sitting alone in my room.

It’s not dark yet outside so I can take a walk. I think of going to the park nearby but decide against it because I wouldn’t get much time to sit there since it would be getting dark by then.

I decide to walk around the neighborhood only.

As I’m walking, I see a familiar figure running at the end of the neighborhood. He’s running in my direction and as he gets closer, I realize that it’s Jeremy.

He’s wearing sweatpants, a white shirt, and sneakers. When he sees me, his running slows down and he tries to go in the opposite direction but I speed up a bit to catch up with him before he does.

I don’t know why I do it but I just want to talk to him.

“Hey,” I say when I get closer to him.

He just nods once and tries to leave but I don’t let him go. I keep on walking next to him.

I replay the final conversation we had at the restaurant yesterday and that’s when I notice that he didn’t even tell me what he’s hiding from me. I guess I forgot about it too because of his reaction to my confession.

“You never told me the reason why we couldn’t be together,” I say bluntly and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise as his speed slows down.

“Well right now, the stalking thing is definitely the first reason,” he says matter-of-factly and I flinch.

“Before that, what was the reason? Before I confessed,” I say, not giving up.

“What does it matter?” He says. “It won’t happen, okay? So get over it.”

His words hit me like a train and send a pang to my chest. I bite the inside of my cheeks and try to put a blank expression on my face.

“It matters to me. I want to know,” I say in a calm tone.

His cell phone beeps and he takes it out of his pocket to check the message he just got.

“I have to go,” he says and before I can yell at him to wait and tell me what the reason is, he runs around the corner and disappears.

The sun has set by now and it’s getting dark so I have to walk back home. When I arrive, I go straight to my room because that run in with Jeremy ruined my mood.

I still don’t know what he’s hiding from me and it’s killing me.

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