Ryder Edwards.

"You should really start getting ready honey, I just saw a post from Gina Lang of her backyard, of course she's bragging but its amazing, she says her daughter and her friend designed it for their rebel formal, low down party." My mother announces by the den door, waving her tablet for me to see the venue of where I knew I could possibly find him.

I grabbed the device and smiled at the pictures posted, it really did look amazing, they had done an amazing job and even got an endorsement from XO to Life, its why three quarters of the school was attending their party, damn I was partly attending because XO to Life said so, peer pressure yes but I didn't care.

"Its great mom, let me get ready." I tell her before heading upstairs to my bedroom, I was the fourth middle child of five, my three older siblings had moved out and were in college, with just me and my little brother at home, we tended to be babied more by our parents, it's how I got the other bedroom with an ensuit bathroom and much bigger closet space, Pete and I had spent numerous hours having sex in there.

Yet now when I think about it, about him, I found myself disappointed, I didn't break up with Pete we were in an awkward phase of our relationship that I couldn't explain. I just couldn't let him go after falling for him the way I had, and at the same time the idea of being with him after what he did to Jack repulsed me, I was confused and trying hard to get myself together because Pete was barely the reason for my confusion.

Jackson had vanished, since the day of the backpack fiasco and Pete telling me what happened to him, I expected to see him the day after, or the next few days that followed, he was nowhere to be found. I stalked his social media pages, I patrolled the halls and hunted down that Korean girl I had once seen him with only to be given the same answer, they didn't know where the fuck he was.

I even tried talking to Dustin, the shit bag had no idea as well and didn't seem to care all that much, but then I reminded him that I punched him for trying to be a smart mouth, we should've all been concerned about Jack or I was over exaggerating this need to talk to him, find him and apologize.

Tell him that I felt like a major dick for saying all those things to him, but he was nowhere, I stalked his house in morning for our runs, he didn't show up, I finally asked his sister who gave me what was the shittiest excuse ever.

Jack would never go on a foreign student exchange trip in the middle of the year, it would compromise his grades, and I knew he was turning in his work since I bribed his biology teacher to tell me anything he knew, which was that Jack was handing in his work even the extra credit work like always.

Meaning he was around, he was just doing the best hiding tactic of all time, and for a good three weeks plus or minus a few days, he had succeeded, but I knew tonight he would be there, he would show up at the party he and Darcy Lang had planned.

How I knew that, the last clue my mother had just shown me, Gina Lang had mentioned her daughter and her daughter's friend, and Darcy only had one close friend and that was Jack.

I knew that my borderline obsessive behavior with Jack was alarming but he in the time I had spent with him, at times just silently, felt good, he was an amazing human being, I could peg Jack for a model citizen, and I had all this guilt I needed to open up about and confess.

I wanted Jackson in my life for just the reason of wanting him there, maybe there was more to what I was feeling I don't know, but I wanted to run with him in the morning again, sit at a park bench and slurp on milkshakes, annoying the shit out if him but actually see him laugh again, I just wanted his good vibes, I wanted to be around him and I was going to tear down his walls until I got that.

"You clean up well." Suddenly Pete spoke and my head snapped toward the door. "Hey." I chuckled and he gave me a small smile. "Black tuxes have always been your forte." He compliments walking in and I chuckle again. "Thanks, you look good yourself, love what you did with your hair." I tell him and he blushes, for some reason it reminded me of Jack's top bun style, and yeah I wasn't going to tell Pete that, I knew what he was trying to do.

Our dynamic had worked before because I had a thing for twinks and Pete knew that and he himself was one, he knew he had that appeal to me and I was hooked, but then lately he had been trying to fill out his body more which I found adorable since I knew he hated it and it wasn't just going to happen overnight, I kept my opinion to myself and just let him.

"Ironic song choice." He mutters when Cardi B and Kehlani's song Ring was playing in the background, the awkward silence stretched on. "It really captures the essence of us, I call you, you never pick up, and its like you've forgotten my number, I do want to call back;" He pauses. "But a bitch got pride." I finished for him and he laughed with a nod and I found it offensive.

"Pete I tried with you, I really did, but you can't blame me for being out of touch with you, I'm a guy I've got needs from my boyfriend and they aren't even sexual, sometimes I just need you to be here for me emotionally, to sit down with me in the den and watch a movie, to go with me to the gym, to go on a fucking date but you're not there, you're always busy, so when my interests turn elsewhere don't blame me." I hissed turning away from him and fixing my bow tie by the mirror.

"Wow, first time you've actually told me how you felt in a while and I'm sorry for not prioritizing us, I promise I'll do better." He exclaims coming forward and holding onto my bicep pleadingly. "Promises are fickle things babe, let's go." I sigh leaving him and grabbing my keys, wallet and phone, Pete follows silently behind me until we reach the lounge.

"Awe look at you too, absolutely adorable, Ry take a picture, and Ryder smile a bit more hun." My mother coos over us and has her mini paparazzi moment with my father before making sure I had enough cash since we were going to the extra bougie suburb, like we weren't in our own bougie suburb. "I hate this awkward silence." Pete points out and I press play on my new favourite song, thanks to XO to Life.

"Benson Boone, seriously, Ghost town is depressing." Pete mutters in exasperation. "And I kind of like that its depressing, its not always that we have to be preppy and overjoyed, sometimes, its okay to be sad and emotional messes." I answer with my focus on the road, Pete laughs though. "You did not just qoute XO to Life." He teases and I chuckle trying to contain my embarrassment.

"You have to give credit to the guy, he's iconic." I praised. "Yeah, I guess so." Pete answers just as I drive up the street where the venue was and it was packed, I had to leave my car further down the street just to park it well, I made sure I had everything before Pete and I held hands and we walked toward the pumped up music, it was really my vibe. "Now that is a killer club playlist, not Benson Boone." Pete mentions as we arrive at the doors and the music has my bones already anticipating to dance.

Everything was professional, and enticing. "Welcome and enjoy." A waiter handed us both closed drinks and nodded before leaving, no red solo cups anywhere, it seems they were going with an awareness theme and avoiding someone spiking anybody's drink, it was clever. "Alright I admit, this is a killer party." Pete mutters next to me as we find ourselves in the back yard with small plates of appetizers.

Everything was done perfectly, the food service, the music, even the bathrooms had no lines and the dance floor was huge, no alcohol in sight, it was a great evening. "Alright party people!" The dj, who surprisingly was Wyatt, he was on my lacrosse team, how had I not noticed him

He looked brilliant in a blue tux. "It's time we finally have a speech from the two people responsible for having this amazing party tonight!" He announces and everyone gathers.

Almost the entire school was here, surprisingly the jocks and cheerleaders too, Amber also walked in shocking everyone but she wasn't the host, she couldn't be, she wanted a spotlight, of course. "Technically there's three of us but I got to dj so they booted me out." Wyatt joked eliciting a wave of laughter. My palms shook, my heart raced at the anticipation of seeing him, what was wrong with me and yet I couldn't help it.

"Without further suspense, welcome to the stage Darcy Lang and Jackson Trent." I knew it, I had known Jack wasn't gone. "I knew it!" I whispered a little too loudly and Pete looked at me with a frown but I ignored him.
I could feel the suspense hang in the air for me as behind Wyatt from two small double doors that opened, Darcy walked out, in a black flared flirty mini dress and matching black heels, it was simple elegance.

I knew I was waiting for his turn out, almost everyone was. "Jack come on out here, don't he shy." She called out after getting the earpiece microphone from Wyatt. "But, I'm already here though." Jack answered from behind us ontop of a table that had been cleared, my heart almost gave out, everyone gasped in shock, so did I and my jaw hung loose. "Whoa." Even Pete was in shock as ws looked toward the boy I could barely recognize.

He was wearing a black tux, form fitted to show his obviously tiny waist but large thighs, broad shoulders that were fighting to get out of the shirt and blazer defining his chest, and his hair dammit, it was a shiny black that cascaded down the left side of his face, gelled down to give it the appeal of looking wet, it was longer than before, I was sure it reached his mid back.

He was beautiful and had my mouth dry. "There he is, Jack don't do that to us." Darcy fake whined and everyone just roared into laughter and applause, so did Pete and I but all I wanted was to jump forward and kiss him, shit, had I really gone there.

"We want to thank you everyone for coming to support us, you know this rebel party wouldn't have been possible if not for you guys, who came out and are here, whether you're plus size, a minority, an ally, or like me, all the above and more besides Asian like my best friend said;" I laughed to that bit of humor.

"This is for you, your safe space to dance, mingle with your own kind without being insulted, belittled or having the sneers shot behind your back that you're ugly, or worthless, cheers!" He made his speech as everyone roared into more cheers. "Wyatt hit it!" Both Darcy and Jack called out and music blasted through the place making everyone dance.

I watched him get help off the table, his movements were fluid, sensual, he had a charm that made everyone flock toward him but I was stuck. "Let's go say hello." Pete muttered and I looked at him as if he were mad but this wasn't about me, it was for him.

"Let's go then." I tell him and we walk toward the crowd of adoring fans, most were first years and second years. "Jack!" Pete waved at him and dammit, when he did that turn I felt my cock twitch, he had that sex appeal going on too, damn you Jack.

"Pete, Ryder, so glad you make it." He asserts and didn't hide his aggression towards us. "Can we talk where there isn't fetish for my love playing this loud?" Pete asked but he refused with a slight shake of his head.

"You and me have had plenty of conversations Pete, lets not start another panel now, enjoy the party alright, you look good Ryder, thank you for coming." He exclaimed with a slight smile before turning away and I'm sure my heart did a flip, did I just get a compliment from the guy I've been stalking for the past three weeks and did he just smile, well fuck me.

"Great party right?" One of Pete's friends states as he came over to us, we both nodded to each other. "I'll find you a bit later, an hour by the pool." I tell him. "Cool." He answered and my mission to find Jack began.

Being Jackson.

Let the games begin.

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Saint Jay.