Ryder Edwards.

I had fucked up, I didn't know why I didn't say anything when they were calling him all those names, make jokes about it as if it were nothing, had I gotten so used to just watching and doing nothing, I hated it. I knew Jack, he was kind, extremely friendly and hated the fact that everyone only seemed to notice his weight and nothing else.

"Ryder, what was that about?" Pete questioned and I knew what it was he wanted to know. "What was what?" I played dumb because I had my own thoughts tormenting me. "Ryder neither of us is stupid, Jack my ex had your bag, and I can clearly tell he's cleaned it meaning he's had it for a while." Pete sneered.

"Its nothing, my car broke down yesterday and he gave me a ride into the city, I forgot my bag in his car." I tell him and he scoffs. "When did you two become so friendly that he would actually give you a ride?" He demands with a frown. "Yeah Edwards when did you start hanging out with porky." That was Dustin and I found his statement insulting.

"What the fuck did you say?" I growled turning away from Pete and punching Dustin. "Hey, what the hell man, why don't you just man up and tell your boyfriend that you've been parading around with the pumpkin huh!" Dustin yelled after failing to land a punch and the guys hold us both back from each other.

"That has nothing to do with you shit bag!" I spat back in his face but a slap on my cheek causes me to reel back. "Pete the fuck is wrong with you." I hiss and he scoffs, the bell rang and everyone seemed to scramble for the doors, they also pull away Dustin with him and I'm left with Pete.

"You're not even trying to deny it." He accuses. "Because there is nothing to even be angry about, nothing is going on between me and Jack." I argue. "Clearly there is, you can't look me in the eye and tell me you haven't thought about him a certain way, why hang out with him, why is it even happening, he's my ex." Pete points out harshly.

"You know what, I run with Jack in the morning, along with his dog, we exercise together, and everyday since then I've realized that Jack isn't the bad guy you made him out to be, this relationship was built on you finding comfort in me because Jack hurt you, and fuck it I love you but I needed to know if you still loved the guy okay!" I yell and he froze.

"Did you just say, you love me." Pete whispers and I sigh. "Yes Pete, I fucking love you, but you keep so much shit from me and you never have time because of one thing or the other, what am I supposed to think about that." I tell him and he crashes into me, trying to hug me but failing.

"I love you too, and I'm sorry for doubting you, for making you doubt us." He cries clutching onto me and I respond hugging him back. "I know and if its any consolation I'll stop hanging out with Jack but I need to apologize first." I explain and he nods.

Caressing his cheek I lean down just a little to kiss him and he responds, we couldn't exactly give the school a show so we both pull back. "You wanna wait for second period?" I ask and Pete nods so we hide out in my car. "Why do you want to apologize to Jack?" He asks playing with my fingers.

"I've been a dick to the guy, I got to know Jack, even just a little and I realized he doesn't deserve us calling him names like that, the taunts or the jokes, I've been doing it and laughing, thinking it didn't affect him but today I saw myself in his place, it was horrible." I tell Pete who had a sad smile playing at his lips.

"His dad came back end of first year and pretended to want to be family again, when Jack's mom was at work, he would take Jack up to the attic and lock him up in there, sometimes he would beat him or yell at him all these abusive slurs, he threatened Jack that if he ever said anything he would hurt Kat." Pete narrated and I felt my fists clench in anger.

"For months he went on like that until Jack's dad took off with money and valuables from their house, Jack was found in the attic unconscious, bleeding out, since then he spiralled, that's when he shut himself off from the world and drowned himself in food, books and games, he was traumatized, when I dated Jack it was great, he was perfect but I found him clingy and annoying." Pete sadly chuckled.

It didn't take a genius to know that the person I loved was the reason for the break up, I had known for a while that it wasn't Jack who was the cause, it was Pete but knowing this truth about Jack, made me see him in such a different light than before.

"I had a fight with my mom over something stupid, I went over to Jack's house, I told him what happened and he let me sleep over, he tried to explain to me that my mom had been right over the matter, of which she was but at the time I didn't see it, I only saw Jack betraying me, so I told him that was he was a weak bitch and he deserved what his father did to him." Pete shivered at the end and I let go of his hand.

I looked at him wondering how he could easily say that to a person who had almost died because of abuse. "It was stupid, childish and I regretted it almost immediately, I apologized but Jack said nothing, he just left the room, let me stay the night and in the morning he told me it was over." Pete exclaimed and finally I understood why Jack couldn't even look at Pete, he had hurt him, so much.

"Instead of trying to stand up for him, to stop everyone from calling him names, insulting him, you went on to encourage everyone to do it, why?" I questioned Pete knowing he was the one who had put Jack on their radar. "I was being petty over the breakup, and shit got out of hand." He explained but I didn't find his reason valid enough.

"That's bullshit Pete!" I snapped slamming my fist on the steering wheel, I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe him. "Ryder." Pete choked and I scoffed, now I was beginning to wonder if after all this time I had fallen in love with a monster. "I need to get to class." I mumbled grabbing my bag. "Ryder, Ryder please let's talk about this." He pleaded.

Of course I ignored Pete the rest of the day, my mind kept recounting everything he had said, I kept thinking about everything he had told me, the abuse Jack had gone through, to be so hurt and broken, survive only for people to not see how much stronger you were but taunt you for finding a coping mechanism that just changed you, I felt replused by myself, my own friends, my own inability to see Jack, as Jack.

"Man what's up with you, you're snappy, you punched Dustin and you're not sitting with the guys." Pedro my closest friend stated sitting next to me at lunch. "I just need my space man, I just realized I've been a massive prick to someone who didn't deserve the kind of crap I been throwing his way." I told him and he hummed looking away from me.

"Jackson, the guy from earlier." He exclaims and I nod. "What about him." Sam questions with the other guys behind him, it seems they had followed me. "Not my place to say but we all need to lay off him, like if we see him in the hall walkway or some shit." I asserted and Sam chuckled. "That's it, dude do you have some kind of crush on him what?" He chortles.

"Sam he was almost beaten to death by his fucking dad, so when I tell you to lay off him, I mean it!" I hissed having jumped to grab Sam by the neck and choking him. "Ryder let go or you'll hurt him." Pedro held me back and I released Sam who fell to his knees choking but even though the guys were helping him, it wasn't what they were talking about.

"Tell me you kidding, fatso couldn't possibly have been:" I glared at Amber when she decided to grace us with her presence. "Youre cheerleader but not dumb Amber, what could have a normal person spiral into depression and an eating disorder." My argument cut her off and a sullen expression clouded her face.

"None of you are to mention this to anyone, just tell the others to back off, he's going to hate me after this but I'd rather he hate me more than anyone else." I tell them before grabbing my bag and going off to my next class.

I knew I had messed up by revealing some of the stuff Pete had told me about Jack, I could blame it on the anger but it was stupid to do so, I needed them to back off and the truth was one way to do so, I knew now the jocks and the cheerleaders would leave Jack alone, they were mean entitled shits but they knew where to draw a line, I only hoped I could get through to Jack.

Classes ended without a single sight of him, so I headed for his car, I found him with the korean chick who was always overly cheery. Somehow I could see Jack even clearer and he was a beautiful person, I didn't regret the thought. I rushed over to his car and stood there until he noticed me. "Can we talk, please." I pleaded. "No." It was clipped, cold and I knew things were fucked.

"Fuck." I clutched my head groaning, I had no idea what I was going to do because it was clear in those extremely pale honey eyes that he didn't want to see my face, ever.

Being Jackson.

Thoughts?

Saint Jay