It has been more than fifteen days since I had last seen her. Everyday I wake up hoping she will be back in her balcony sipping black coffee in her favourite mug and listening to some song playing in her room and everyday that hope just leaves my body when I see the deserted balcony with the door closed.

She is still angry at me... maybe even hates me. And her anger isn't misplaced too. I intruded her privacy and that is truly and wholly my fault. She will be justified in thinking that I had even seen her personal moments and there is no way to apologize or to justify my actions. I didn't stalk her out of lust, I... I just enjoyed looking at her enjoying herself, looking in oblivion or her night rituals. It was as if the same passion that I felt for joining the army came back to me. I wanted to make her happy, to make her laugh at my silly antics but now she has completely shut me out of her life.

She hasn't replied to any of my messages, didn't even open them. All updates I get about her are from either Sanaya or Vidushi, who have been so kind to come up to our apartment every evening and tell me about her well being. But all the updates I get from them are pretty much the same. She isn't eating well. Her eyes look tired and she is shut in her room for the whole day.

I think she is more hurt because of what I did than due to the confrontation with her father.

I need to meet her... to see her... to listen to her. Yesterday I broke down on phone while talking to my sister and even if she doesn't knows anything she just supported me all the while.

I was standing at my window looking at her balcony. Today the door was open but a curtain was drawn, doing a good work at keeping me from looking at her. That is when I felt a soothing draft of wind on my face and as if God heard my prayers, the curtain was lifted a bit so that I can steal a glance in her room and all I could see was her lying on her bed looking at the ceiling with a blank expression. But this small glance gave me immense relief as well as an ounce of fear because she looked ill. She looked weak, tired.

I can't see her like this. For the first time in two weeks, I was thankful of the curtain being drawn.

She is not the Sanyukta I loved... She is not the girl whom I admired for her strength, her outspoken nature and her everything. She is not the girl I worshipped. She can't be her.

And another thing that was eating me was a question, "Is this it?"

Is this how my one sided love story was going to end? Without any proper confrontation, without telling her how much I loved her and without even showing her how my village looked like. This was surely not how I had dreamed it.

"Ran, you haven't eaten anything from the morning. Please eat something or else how will you even survive?" Parth entered my room with a plate of sandwich.

"I don't have any appetite." I said sitting on my bed.

"Randhir, listen to me. Just because you look out of the window every minute of the day isn't going to bring her in the balcony. She is worried and let her deal with them. Giver her some time. Also its pretty genuine of her if she is angry on you. Just put yourself in her shoes. Would you like someone watching your every movement and actually keeping a track of them?"

"I know Parth. I screwed up big time but I want to change it, to apologize to her to tell her how much I love her. And I can't think of a way to do so."

"Your brain will work only if you eat. So come out right now in the living room like a good boy, sit in front of the television, eat your food and then we will talk through this. Oh, and also take a shower please." He said in a commanding tone like a mom. This brought a smile on my face and I followed him outside.

I followed Parth out of my room and he turned to the kitchen, as I went in the washroom to take a shower. As the first drops from the shower fell on my face, I realized how much I had missed the soothing touch of water and a shower was genuinely due from quite a time. The time inside the shower helped me clear my brain. I just can't sit at my home, looking at the balcony and wishing futilely that everything goes back to normal. No I will have to do something about it. It's high time.

I came out of the shower feeling fresh and into the living room. Aryan was sprawled on the couch watching Tamasha on the television. As soon as he noticed me, he sat up and clapped, "Finally the rat is out of his hole." Rolling my eyes, I sat next to him and dug in the plate of sandwich.

After I was done eating, Parth and Aryan turned to me and I knew what they were going to talk about.

"So what are you going to do next?" Aryan asked me hesitantly and I shrugged.

"Will you leave her as it is? I mean will this be the end?" Parth asked and I looked at him thinking about it.

Will this be the end? Is this the end I want? Will I be happy? Will she be happy? Will she hate me? Will she remain friends with me after she goes normal? Will things ever go normal?

That is when Ranbir Kapoor on TV said, "Agar ending pasand nahi aa rahi to badal daalo" (If you don't like how the story ends then change it.)

And at that moment, I knew what I had to do. This wasn't the ending destined for me and Sanyukta. At least not now. Even if she doesn't wants to be friends I will still have to meet her and apologize to her. I can't remain idle when her friends are worried about her well being. The ending of my story will be how I shape it and not how anybody else thinks it should be like.

"Parth and Aryan. This is not the end. I am not going to let her go so soon without any explanation. I can't do that. I have loved her and she should know that."

With this a plan started running in my mind. Enough hiatus Sanyukta Aggarwal. Now it's time to say hello to the world again. With this thought I picked up my phone and dialled Vidushi's number.

                      *******

Everything was ready for my plan. I had to convince both Sanaya and Vidushi to leave the house for some time so I can talk to Sanyukta. They were reluctant as they were scared... not for Sanyukta but for me. And they weren't wrong either, she can manage to kill me single handedly. But it was now or never.

Even Parth and Aryan were apprehensive about this plan. As I stepped on the ladder, which was placed exactly under Sanyukta's balcony, Parth spoke up, "Is she really worth this?"

"Yes she is worth this and worth every happiness in the World." I replied calmly and climbed a step.

"You know she doesn't loves you right? Probably even hates you... because of the stalking." Aryan chimed in.

"I know that very well, thank you. And about her hating me... I don't care or maybe I do. But it doesn't matters. She can hate me all she wants but she cant hate me for the wrong reasons. I love her not lust her and she needs to know that. She also needs to know how very sorry I am."

"If you have set your mind to it, no one can stop you. Go tiger." he patted on my back and I started climbing the steps. Soon I jumped inside the balcony and waved at the guys who were looking up at me. Parth gave me a thumbs up and I released a long breath, I didn't know I was holding.

"Here goes nothing." I pushed on the balcony door and thanks to the girls it was open. They had opened it in the pretence of letting some fresh air come in. I pushed it open and entered the room. She was lying on her bed with her eyes closed and had earphones on because of which she couldn't hear me jumping in her balcony. Her face looked tired and she looked older than how I had seen her two weeks back. There were dark circles covering her eyes and I knew she hadn't been sleeping. Beside her was her wallet with a picture of an old couple, maybe her grandparents. she fidgeted and I was tempted to run back to the balcony and just jump out of it. But no I can't do this... Everybody's hopes are on me even if they are scared. I am not going anywhere before talking to her. I kept looking at her as her eyes fell on me. Her eyes ranged from recognition to surprise and then finally to anger as she stood in front of me. I wanted to back off from the aura coming out from her but surprisingly I didn't.

"What are you doing in my room?" She asked, anger lacing her voice.

There is still a chance Randhir. Jump down the balcony. Maybe she will assume that she was hallucinating.

"I came to see you." I said, surprised that I didn't fumble on my words even though I was scared as hell.

"Why? And who gave you the permission to enter my room?" I noticed her fists balling.

"I want to talk to you and nobody gave me the permission. I invited myself in because you said I am your friend and friends don't need any permission."

"Get out before I loose my mind."

"I am not going anywhere before talking to you. Please Sanyukta, try to understand... Vidushi and Sanaya are also worried about you and I don't mean any harm... never meant so. Please talk to me and let's sort everything out. Please be normal." I begged in front of her.

"It's easier said than done. You don't know anything." She replied, her voice coming low.

"Then tell me. I came here to listen. Make me understand. Why are you so afraid of letting people in?"

"Because I am scared... I don't know if anybody will trust me or not." She said sitting on her bed and I sat next to her.

"Try me." I was happy that finally she was breaking her walls and opening up.

But boy, could I be more wrong?

She stood up and smirked... sinisterly and I couldn't make out what she meant with that.

"You seriously think I am going to tell you about me? That was so pathetic Randhir. So damn pathetic. Just because I called you my friend doesn't means I am going all heart to heart with you. Now out of my room."

Okay... that hurts!

"I told you I am not going anywhere." I replied calmly... damn I am surprising even myself today.

"Don't make me go all karate on you." She threatened.

"You can do anything you want but I am not leaving." Even though I said this but internally I was scared like hell. Just one punch and all my teeth will be out of my mouth. I so wish I had gone to gym with Parth and Aryan but I preferred my books.

NOT THE TIME TO ZONE OUT! I reprimanded myself because if I zone out now then I wouldn't be able to defend myself from her attack.

I looked at her as her eyes blazed with anger.

"Ok you asked for this." With this she gave me a push, hard enough to make me fall but luckily I stabled myself. In the meantime, she ran to her door and unbolted it trying to run out but I caught her and dragged her in. Wow if anybody would see us fighting like this they would think I was trying to rape her. She kicked and thrashed in my hold and things got violent when she picked up a paper knife and made a gash, deep enough to bring out some blood from my hand.

"AAAHHH!" I let her go and held my hand in agony which by now was covered in blood. Sanyukta also stopped her destruction as her eyes fell on my hand and then she looked up at me with guilt. She surely hadn't intended to hurt me like that.

Dropping the paper knife, she came to me and held out her hand. Sceptical of her mood swings, I forwarded my hand slowly and she examined it. Then she pulled out her first aid box and attended to my wound without a word. She was wrapping a bandage around my hand when I heard a 'Sorry' from her.

Wow she is capable of saying that!

"This is why I didn't want to talk to you. I can't help but get violent at times. I am sorry for all the mean things I said to you. I didn't mean any of them. I hope we are still... you know... friends."

"We can never stop being friends Sanyukta. This is going to be our friendship mark." I said pointing to my injured hand and she looked down with guilt.

"Hey it is okay Sanyukta. I am happy that you are okay, not exactly angry for what I did... you know with the looking from window thing. Also you didn't hurt yourself."

"So my roomies told you about..."

"Not everything. Just the superficial stuff about your medical condition."

"Oh... it's just..."

"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I completely understand. There is no hurry."

"No... I... uh want to talk about it once and for all. I want to get over with it. This is too much to bear and everything is taking a toll on me. I want to let it all out." She said and I got a glimpse of fiery Sanyukta back in her.

"Shall I call the girls here so you can talk?"

"No... I want to talk to you." These words from her surprised me.

"What?" My tone was too surprised as I thought I hadn't heard correctly.

"Yeah... I mean no one has ever gone out of their way for me. Will you listen?" She asked me with desperation.

"Of course!" I replied.

                    ******

Part 2 coming right up!