What if it all stopped?
Today, now
This second, instanteanous decision
A breath, a whimper - all gone
All dead,
And what if today I die
But my body keeps on walking
My mind keeps on wandering
Would I ever really perish?
Probably, soon.

The first hundred years
Would go by so swift.
My mind would weaken
My words would simplify
And the acquiescence I once felt
Like guilt, would hang even larger
Over my head,
So much that I couldn't think, feel
Truth is all I could say,
Lies all I could hear
Wiltering, slowly,
Like a petal, simply floating.

The next would be harder
The upcoming hate
And the storm of wits
That my mind wasn't prepared to take
My loneliness, fear, my affliction
All the years, a toll
All my thoughts, untold
Searching for a celestial unknown
To provide, to hunt
To entreat, to ache
I would only seek for heartbreak.

The third, cruelest of them all
When I realize that in three lifetimes
I have spent three lifetimes
But achieved nothing
Only by call will I miss me
The call of memory, train of thought
Even when I think about it,
I'm already losing it
The grip I had on reality
On serenity, life and compensation
Gone
The only friend I will have left
The knife
The needle
The thread
To sew my lips closed so when I stab
I don't scream
But that will be only if I can feel something
And now I can't even do that.
In seconds, I am nothing
But I can't even be bothered
To lay down and play dead.

Three have passed, three have gone.
I dwell, and I dwell on them all
Study, make, help me
No, there's no fixing it
Just remain, remain still.
On the surface of the water
The other you
That you have to kill.
Survive, survive
The point of living.