Btw before we begin I would like to tell you that this is a rant, it is unedited. Proceed with caution lol.

Hey hey~
So I have been watching Aphmau since July 2015, so about two years now.
My little sister first introduced me to the episode "first date" of Mod Mod World. I remember I didn't watch much YT back then, and when I did I mainly stuck to a couple of MC Youtubers that I liked, (Stampy, Sqaishey, Squid, Stacyplays, Amylee, etc)

When I watched that episode of Mod Mod world, (I remember it had just been uploaded about a day ago at the time) I was SOOO confused~ I didn't understand why, or how she was playing MineCraft like this. It was different, the biggest reason I didn't like it was because I didn't understand what was going on, I hadn't seen anyone of the plot, and I didn't understand.

I started watching a few of Aphmaus episodes, since I knew my little sister was watching them, I guess I wanted to make sure she wasn't watching anything too strange. I started watching MineCraft diaries, but I started with Origins. This turned out good, when I watch Youtubers I like to get a sense of their personality, I don't care how good their content, or roleplay are, if they are a horrible people why watch them lol.
I found Aphmau to be really funny, so when I finished Diaries origins I then started watching MCD S1 (or S2 as it was called at the time.)

I watched it because Aphmau was in it, and because I liked her personality in the videos, she had her own style and it was fun to watch.
I remember from the first episode I instantly conected with Vylads character, im still not sure why, but I got the sense that he was in trouble, but he was still a good character. I'm glad that I was right because now he and Laurance are my favorite characters. Speaking of Laurance when I first met him as the Casanova he was he kinda annoyed me a bit, but after I saw what happened in the nether. Even before that when he started trying to change his approach when talking to Aph, he began to grow on me I guess. I think the reason he's my favorite character now is because I can relate to him allot, not necessarily just in experiences, but in personality. He was the only character who noticed when everyone was falling apart in S2 for example, when he talked to Aphmau in the forest and plain out asked "why do you care so much, about people you just met" allot of people got mad at this comment, but because I sympathize with him I realized where the comment was coming from. And honestly, I would have said the exact same thing, because the message he was trying to get across, desperately needed to be said. I always preferred season one, and the beginning of S2 because of the relationship between characters, that was slowly lost throughout the series.
I never liked Aaron's character in MCD, he doesn't talk, he came out of nowhere, I didn't understand why everyone loved him right from the start!? To me, he was one of the things that tore MCD apart... I didn't understand, I still don't understand, and while I still have resentment for him in MCD I've very slowly come to accept him in Mystreet....

Anyways I eventually started to find it really cool that she was putting plot into her stories. When I had caught up with everything that was going on in Diaries, episode 64 had just come out later that day after I had officially seen every current existing episode.
After that I started watching Mod Mod world, and side stories. I liked side stories because to me in symbolized what MCD was, the relationship between all the characters, only with out the drama of the plot line. It makes me sad now, because Mystreet, or side stories... It become lost to me aswell...

I'm not sure when I first started theorizing for MCD, I think I did for a long time, I just didn't really keep track of it... I remember I thought Aphmau was, or had some connection to Irene though ever since the Wyvern dimension. I eventually started having more intense theories, as S2 went on. I later was lead to write these down, and make charts to organize my thoughts right after the S2 finale

I still miss the way MCD used to be, ya the RP side wasn't as good, but I miss the esthetics it had...
Personally I don't think blue jay studios will be around too much longer at this rate. They have moved over to way more mini games now, I don't mind mini games but they aren't my favorite, I remember prop hunt used to be so exhilarating, now it's just routine.

The main problem that makes me not want to watch her videos is because I watch MCD as a distraction sometimes, and Mystreet as comic relief. It's my like comfort food lol, yes change is good. But if it's a thing that brings me comfort? Then I like it to remain the same...
Now instead of finding that comic relief and smiling when I watch Mystreet or Phoenix drop high, my anxiety gets worse, because even my comfort place is a chaotic mess. Because of this at times I'm almost scared to click on the video notifications.
My hope is that in Aphmaus Year some of that old esthetics will be restored.

But at this rate, Since everything Blue Jay studios produces doesn't have that same esthetics anymore... I'm not sure how long it will continue for, a good year at least... But I feel their empire may slowly fall, I don't want to see this happen, but, it's not my fault if it does...