Very few had made it this far in the process, and so Jimin was practically bouncing off the walls in excitement at finally getting his turn. I smiled weakly at this, knowing fully well that the idea of [Y/N] sleeping with Jimin was slowly making my blood curdle with disgust.

Shaking myself mentally, I had to remind myself of my role as a leader. The boys came first, they came far before my stupid and frivolous feelings. It isn't even real love, I continued to tell myself as I went about with the rest of tour planning.

My office was full of paperwork and boring legal documents that I needed to read, and I found countless ways to procrastinate. Twitter helped to distract me and I laughed over some new memes one of the fans had made - they all assumed we didn't see them, but we had a sense of humour as well!

As I was searching for one particular document that I needed to sign, I found myself stumbling across a folder which made me feel uncomfortable to even touch. It contained the information of every other girl who had applied for the role that [Y/N] was being interviewed for.

One might ask how one even gets candidates, but it was more simple when you were the leading group in the world. The sex industry for celebrities defied any sort of moral or societal norms, taking things to new heights. And so we had connections that helped us find women who were willing and happy to oblige.

However, it never sat right with me. These women always seemed dead inside, like there was a fire in their eyes which was now only a smouldering pile of coal. It was almost too depressing to be around. Imagine looking into someone's eyes and feeling like a robot was looking back at you.

I flicked through the applications that we had received over the course of many years, and I almost felt sick to my stomach at the sight of their faces. Where were they now? Were they still selling themselves to celebrities who wanted a toy to play with? Had they found something in life to relight that fire inside them?

More importantly, would the same thing happen to [Y/N]? Would she too just become another lifeless girl sucked into a system that was designed to break her?

I was broken out of these spiralling thoughts by the front door clicking open, and the soft sound of Jimin's footsteps entering the house. Leaving my room, I felt anxious to know what his verdict was on her.

"She was fantastic," Jimin said when he noticed me, "A little shy and hesitant at first but a very fast learner."

I nodded my head slightly, feeling dizzy at the prospect that the next day I would finally get to meet her. It felt surreal. I was just drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

Laying in bed that night, I found myself scrolling again mindlessly through Twitter. As an idol, you learn to ignore the hate spewed from people who claim your music isn't worth listening to. But the criticism which always kicked me in the teeth more than anything was from the fans themselves.

'Imagine being RM when all your bandmates are more attractive than you'

'Does RM know he's ugly?'

'When you Stan every member other than RM'

'Wish they'd cut RM out of the group photos'

I tried to pull my eyes away from the screen but I couldn't stop. Sometimes I would do this for hours, hating myself more and more with every message.

"Why would [Y/N] even notice me over the other boys?" I whispered to myself quietly, "In real life she wouldn't look my way twice."

Curling up slightly in bed, I finally let my phone drop and turn off, hiding me away from the hateful comments. Looking over at the clock next to me, I knew that soon I would finally get to hold her in my own arms. I would be able to hear the sound of her breath, the beating of her heart, and that terrified me.

I vowed to myself that I would remain sensible. I vowed to myself that I would remain cold if it meant protecting myself.

-

THE REAL SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN.

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