Receiving a hug from my mom was like a lifetime wish fulfilled. However, it's just unfortunate that I had to receive it that way from her. And she immediately left after that...like she didn't care at all.

Thinking that there's no hope for us anymore hurts me more. Pero gano'n nga talaga siguro. Because our relationship's already tainted.

Masakit, kasi umasa akong kahit papaano ay magiging okay kami pagkatapos kung magpakatotoo at sabihin ang lahat sa kanya. Akala ko mararamdaman ko na talaga may mama ako. Pero hindi eh...there was still a barrier between us na mahirap tibagin.

I didn't go to school the next day because my sisters forbid me to. I also don't feel like going kung kaya't sinamantala ko nalang ang pagkakataon para makapagpahinga muna.

It was already noon no'ng lumabas ako ng kwarto para kumain and I was surprised to see Ate Eliza.

"'Di ka pumasok, Ate?" Nagtataka kong tanong.

"I took a leave. By the way, how are you feeling? Just tell me if you need something."

Something touched my heart when Ate said it kung kaya't wala sa sarili akong napangiti.

"I'm okay, Ate." I smiled and the warm feeling came gushing into my being once again.

"Oo nga pala, gusto mo bang lumipat ng school? Magsabi ka lang sa akin kung gusto mo, ako na uli ang bahala."

Transfer? I sighed. I honestly thought about that when the video broke out, but now, I already think it's futile.

"Huwag na, Ate. Kahit saan naman ako pumunta, hinding-hindi ko na maitatago pa ang totoong ako." I let out a smile before walking past her. "And maybe...it's time to stop running away."

Nakakunot-noong napatingin sa akin si Ate. "What do you mean?"

I sighed. "I'm ready to show them the real me, Ate." Dahil wala na akong choice...there's no way to escape anymore.

"Pero hindi ka ba mas mapapahamak kapag ginawa mo 'yun?"

I shook my head. "I don't care anymore." Dahil kahit ano namang gawin ko, pangit pa rin ako.
"As long as you and Emily are with me...okay na ako. It doesn't really matter what people say." I lied because it matters to me, pero ayoko na eh, pagod na akong makinig sa mga sinasabi nila.

I also realized that at the end of the day, the opinion from the people dear to me and the opinion that I have for myself — are what matters.

"Gusto ko nang matuto na huwag makinig sa sinasabi ng iba, Ate. I want to grow up." I added.

And so...I did go to school the next day.

Nasa gate palang ay panay na ang tinginan ng mga tao sa akin. The video's already taken down from the school community, but knowing how powerful social media is nowadays, alam kong kalat na kalat pa rin iyon ngayon.

There were whispers everywhere at sadyang naririnig ko pa talaga nang malinaw ang iba, but I already said it to myself—na ayaw ko nang makinig pa. They may stare at me and throw hate comments as long as they want but I won't bleed anymore...at least I won't show them that I'm bleeding.

I think that's what the support I got from my sisters gave me — ang lakas ng loob na harapin ang lahat ng 'to.

I am too tired of being weak and crybaby...I am too tired of pitying myself. I want to embrace myself now...I want to embrace my flaws and imperfections and love myself for who I am.

Ayaw ko nang maging mahina, ayaw ko nang kaawaan ang sarili ko. If they hate me because I don't fit the standard...then I will make my own standard.

"Lia!" My eyes widened a bit when I saw Maya running towards me, mas lalo naman akong nagulat no'ng niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit. "Are you okay?"

"O-Okay lang ako." I muttered, still in awe.

"I was worried about you. Don't worry about the video, our org already took care of it. The names of students who left mean comments on the post were also listed and rest assured, proper sanction will be given." She held my hand and squeezed it. "Nasa likod mo kami, Lia. You're not alone in this."

I told myself that I won't cry but I still found myself tearing up a bit because of what I heard.

"S-Salamat, Maya." I sincerely said and smiled.

Tinapik naman niya ako sa balikat at inakbayan. "It's my duty and we're friends...so I'll do everything to protect you."

My mouth parted when I heard what she just said. We're friends? She consider me as a friend?

I am not expecting it.

"Tara na? Hatid kita!" She smiled and pulled me closer.

"Tsk. Too slow." Pareho naman kaming napatigil no'ng may magsalita sa likod ko.

"Yuri!" Maya greeted her but she just ignored us like she didn't hear anything at all. "Same class kayo diba? Sabay na kayong pumasok ni Lia!" Maya suggested at bigla naman akong nahiya.

"Okay," Yuri answered and I was surprised. Pumayag talaga siya? "Let's go, you're so slow."

Agad naman akong humabol sa kanya and Maya just laughed before we part ways in front of our room.

"Just call me when something happens." I heard Maya saying, 'di ko naman matukoy kung ako ba ang kausap niya o si Yuri.

Going inside the room with Yuri didn't turn out as a bad idea. I thought I would hear them whispering again but they were surprisingly quiet. Even my friend...nakatanaw lang sila mula sa malayo. They were wearing mocking and annoyed expressions but other than that, wala na rin namang iba.

"Fools." Yuri muttered kung kaya't napatingin ako sa kanya. "Mocking people like you won't make them beautiful." She added and shrugged.

May pumasok na tanong sa isip ko pagkatapos ko iyong marinig and before I could even think about it properly ay naitanong ko na 'yun.

"Why do you let them get the wrong idea of you?"

I know it, she's a good person.

She smirked and looked around us. "They're not worth it."

It was just a short and vague answer, but oddly, I felt like I totally understood what she meant by that.

The morning class ended just like usual and when lunch time came ay naghiwalay na kami ni Yuri. Ako naman ay lumabas muna ng campus para kumain sa labas.

I just went out of the gate when someone suddenly approached me. I didn't mind her at first, dahil akala ko ay taga media siya, but it turned out she wasn't.

"I'm Alyja Kirsten Buenaflor, from the brand called Le Vrai. I have a proposal for you, please hear me out." She repeatedly said that hanggang sa pakiramdam ko ay wala na nga akong kawala kundi ang kausapin siya. She looked really persistent.

I told her I am going to eat lunch and she agreed to go with me dahil mabilis lang naman daw ang sasabihin niya. And we ended up eating at KFC.

"Le Vrai is a New York based French fashion company that offers luxury goods and accessories. Our brand focuses on empowering women and embracing diversity and realness..." she discussed at kahit na wala ako sa mood na makinig ay sinubukan ko pa ring pakinggan ang mga sinasabi niya.

When she finished talking about their brand ay nagpasya na akong magtanong.

"Ano po ba ang proposal niyo? Sigurado po ba kayong ako ang hanap niyo?"

She smiled and took a sip of the drink. "Yes, we are sure. We actually want to offer you a contract to be one of our models. Our company is actually new but we will still provide you everything that you deserve as our model. Such as all expenses paid — including your condo, food, personal care, medical expenses, and even your studies. However, you need to move to New York for this work."

I raised my brow a bit because it was too good to be true, lalo na 'yung huling sinabi niya.

"Kahit na...may issue ako ngayon? Gusto niyo pa rin akong kunin?"

"Yes, we don't care about that actually. In fact, we actually find you perfect for the job."

I furrowed my brows. "But that issue...would just ruin your business if you chose me because I am far from the ideal and I have a messy background. Baka magkaproblema lang kayo. I'm sure marami pa namang iba d'yan na perfect for your brand. 'Yung makakatulong sa pagpapaunlad ng brand niyo at hindi 'yung hihilain kayo pababa."

She smiled again. "Embracing diversity and realness, remember that? That's our brand's goal and you're perfect for it."

Mas lalo naman akong nagtaka. Scam ba 'to?

"Even though I did catfishing to make people like me?" I asked.

"But you learned that it won't work forever, right? And besides, our brand doesn't want to cater perfect people, we want to recruit imperfect and flawed ones who want to impart their stories to inspire other people." She smiled and looked at me. "And you...have a great story to share, for sure."

My mouth parted a bit when I realized what she meant. That was one hell of a tempting offer but I'm still a bit reluctant.

"Just call me if you have questions. But I hope that the next time we see each other ay kapag papayag ka na." She stood. "It's nice meeting you, Miss Elliana. Good luck!"

It was a really interesting and tempting offer at halos 'di na iyon matanggal-tanggal sa isip ko kahit no'ng pauwi na ako galing school no'ng hapon.

Malapit na ako sa gate ng apartment namin when I noticed someone standing in front of our gate. Bahagya akong nanigas no'ng mapagtantong si Kal iyon.

Anong ginagawa niya dito?

"Lia," agad niyang tawag no'ng magkatinginan kami.

"A-Anong ginagawa mo rito?"

"I-I want to see you." He answered while looking at me. "I-It was so hard...I don't know what to do anymore."

"Kal," pagod kong sambit. "Hindi ba't nag-usap na tayo?"

"L-Lia...hindi ko kaya. I-I want to be with you. M-Miss na miss na k-kita."

I closed my eyes. I would want to be with him, too. But I am too ruined now...we're too ruined to fit each other.

"I already made it clear to you, Kal. Pagod na ako. Ayoko na."

Pain registered in his eyes again when my gaze directed to him. That's also when I realized that he looked like...a mess. His hands were trembling, he looked thinner, and his eyebags looked noticeable.

Gusto ko siyang yakapin, gusto ko siyang tanungin kung anong mali, gusto ko siyang i-comfort. But I couldn't even do that properly to myself, paano pa kaya sa kanya?

"Lia, please...isang pagkakataon lang...please...I'll do everything to win you back."

I sighed. "How about Levi, Kal?"

He suddenly looked torned when I said that. "S-She's..."

Even though my eyes were slowly getting clouded with tears, I smiled.

"Tama na, Kal. Ayoko nang sumugal pa sayo." Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinawakan siya sa pisngi. "Let us stop hurting each other...and just move on."

Dahil kung mananatili kami sa isa't isa ay mas lalo lang kaming masasaktan at mahihirapan. Our relationship is already broken at kung pipilitin naming ayusin ito ay baka pareho lang kaming masugatan.

"I-It will not be possible for me to move on from you. I will be forever stuck." He answered and tears started flowing from his eyes.

Nanginginig ang kamay kong inabot iyon at pinunasan. I don't want to do what I am thinking...but it has left me no choice.

Kahit na mahirap ay tiningnan ko siya nang diretso sa mata bago ako magsalita.

"I don't want to see you again, Kal. Gusto ko nang kalimutan ka."

My tears fell after I said those words, but tears aren't even enough to show how hurt I am. My words, my actions...they were all hurting me but I need to do them.

"L-Lia...what do you mean?" He hesitatingly asked.

Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya. "Salamat sa lahat ng pagkakataon na nakasama kita." I gave him a small smile before hugging him. "I am glad that I met you, Kal. 'Di man naging maayos ang pagtatapos ng relasyon natin, masaya pa rin ako na naging parte ka ng buhay ko. I will never forget you."

"L-Lia...I don't like where this is heading." He pulled away from the hug and held my hand. "Please tell me you didn't actually mean it."

Umiling ako at binawi ang kamay ko sa kanya.

"I am leaving, Kal." I gave him a small smile through my tears. "But before I leave, I want you to know that I am forgiving you."

Umiiling siyang tumingin sa akin.

"Parang awa mo na, pakawalan mo na ako. Kailangan kong lumayo at matutunang mahalin ang sarili ko."