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Nathan was pissed. The last few months has been hell and he didn't want anything more to add to it.

He was thirty-one and a bachelor and he didn't enjoy it. He wanted to have a nice sweet woman to wrap her leg around his waist every night and little children to make him tired and happy after an eventful day.

And he had that once and he threw it away. Or the chance of it.

Arrgh!! His second scotch bottle this week met the floor and scattered into a thousand pieces.

"You can't do that anytime you're pissed, you know. You have to put your shit together."

And she had to talk. She was a reminder of what an asshole he was. No matter how much he wished to change it. To him, she was his punishment.

He picked his shirt from his bed and strolled to the sitting room. He hated this house. There was a time he loved it but now it was filled with her memories it was almost making him mad.

"What are you still doing here?" He looked at the person, whom he had now known to be the devil's incarnate standing in front of him with her hands on her hips. "Do I need Sean to send you out or what?" He referred to his housekeeper or his butler. Whatever he liked to be called.

"You can't run away from the inevitable."

"I know that already but while we are at it, at least give me the space to fucking breathe!" His veins popped from his face coloring it almost beet red. He rarely lost control but she had a way of making him go crazy. And the bad type. "You've destroyed my life already. I think you owe me that much."

She sighed. "I didn't destroy your life Nathan. What happened was equally your fault as it was mine. I know you're hurt and I'll love you to cool off but just know it wouldn't get better than this. It's been weeks already and every week you get worse. Just face it Nat, she isn't going to come back." Her face looked sad for a moment but he knew the master manipulator she was so he didn't count it as genuine. "When you are done with sulking and you need someone to talk." She paused. "You know where to find me."

He didn't walk her to the door. No. He wished he could throw her out but he was too mental stressed to care.

Laura Katherine Montez had been the love of his life- was still the love of his life. When he met her they were in college and they were friends for the first few years of their relationship but they always had a strong attraction for each other. She wasn't an adult yet and he didn't want to do anything illegal so he waited for her eighteenth birthday to ask her out. He remembered how furious he was when Rhonda told him she went out with someone else. He marched to the restaurant she had her date and hovered around them both like a ghost. A smile crept on his face as he remembered the look on the guy's face when he asked her out in front of him. But the better sight was her's. She grinned and said, "I thought you'll never ask."

They dated for the last decade but they were far from perfect. He wasn't perfect. She was. His Laura. Perfection in every way. Even when she claimed she was not.

Her kind heart, her determination and spirit, her ambition, her brain, her strength and loyalty, her enthusiasm and her smile. To him, he was the luckiest man alive.

He thought himself handsome. He was tall, dark and handsome. Not to mention rich. He was a lawyer by profession. He worked with his father in the prosecuting office for the first three years of his career before he decided it was not for him. He was more of a defender than an accuser and he actually liked his job. He opened a law firm with a friend from college and now Reid & Stan was the number one law firm in Denver. Reid being his second name which he hated so much. He preferred Nathan. She preferred Nathan.

He groaned. He didn't deserve her and he knew it. The first time it happened was in their third year of their relationship. He was angry he didn't get into law school. She tried to tell him that next year was available but he lashed out. She didn't understand. She was smart. Really smart. She wasn't even twenty yet and she already got in with the second best result in the country! He left the house to a bar to drown himself in a bottle of self pity but woke up to so much more. A blonde with tiny long legs lay on his bed. Naked. He was petrified. He couldn't remember what happened and worse, she walked in. He was damned. He begged. Cried. Slept in front of her house for days but he wasn't forgiven. It took two months and a rehab for his drinking problem to get her back. She forgave him even when he couldn't forgive himself.

And as if he was feeling bad enough, she didn't go to law school that year. She said she would wait for him. He knew how it meant to her especially since she was the most ambitious person he had met. But she stayed. And she tried to ease his guilt by saying she wanted to be twenty-one and there was a course she wished to take. He knew it was all a cover but he was grateful.

The next few years went by but not without a few glitches although none were as bad. He still had his drinking problem and an AA meeting has crossed his mind more than once but his pride was his down fall.

He was happy. And he was going to be a father. The day she told him was one of the happiest days of his life. He told everyone in the office and even allowed Stan, his partner, to throw daddy jokes at him. He was in cloud nine. He made a decision. No more doubting himself like he had all this years. He was going to propose. He knew he didn't deserve her but he wanted to be selfish. He had it all planned out. He would propose after the baby. He wanted the baby at the wedding that's for sure. He knew Laura wouldn't care how the wedding was, just that she was getting married. But that wouldn't stop him from giving her the best. He started planning the wedding. He even took her to their dream house. He didn't tell much people because he didn't want it to be exposed. It would be his Christmas gift to her.

But the devil had other plans for them. Suddenly, one day after a long day at work, he came back home to find her passed out in the toilet. As if the blood wasn't enough fright, there was no pulse. When they reached the hospital, it was too late. They lost their baby and in a way he lost her too. She cried and cried. Doctors said she may never conceive again. He loved children but he loved her more. He wondered everyday for the last few months what he could have done differently. If he hadn't been such a coward and stayed by her side assuring her all will be okay, would it have been really okay? But that wasn't what he did. He left like the coward was and buried himself in his best friend. Alcohol. And history repeated itself again. But this time his crime was much worse.

No, the guilt was too much. Every time he saw her he felt like killing himself. He betrayed her again, even after everything she went through. So he left. With nothing more than a three sentenced note.

Yes, he was an asshole, that he knew and now he was going to spend the rest of his life paying for it. When he came back they were strangers under the same roof. It wasn't a surprise she left but he still wasn't okay with the fact she wasn't coming back.

If only he stayed away from her. He hated her because she had destroyed his life but even him knew she was right.

He was equally a sinner as she was. And boy, being damned, was hell.