The grip I had on my steering wheel made my knuckles turn white.

I swerve onto the side of the road, putting my car in park. My body starts to shake and I let out an unsteady breath. The strain in my chest that was bothering me while I drove, now is getting worse by the second.

My hands run through my hair, not even caring that a few strands of hair come with them, leaving a throbbing in my head. Every bit of control I have diminishes as my breathing increases, an unsteady heart rate following soon after.

After trying to hold everything in for so long, I finally exceeded my limit - everything that had been building up rushes to the surface. My palm collides with the steering wheel a few times while I let out a distressing cry.

When I get the inflamed anger out of my system, all that's left is an inner torment.

My back slumps against my seat, every muscle in my body totally deflated. The clear view of my surroundings blur as my eyes start to water. At this point I don't even care that I am showing weakness -no one is around to see it.

It started off as just a few tears, but then they started to flow with a newfound furiosity. I lean forward and rest my forehead on the wheel; my back rises and falls as my shoulders shake. A few times I try to wipe my eyes, but new tears take the place of the old ones almost immediately.

Giving in, I let the emotions take over.

Time goes by at a rate unknown to me, but that doesn't even matter to me. The only thing that matters is the one person who was always there for me. The person who loved me unconditionally.

'Loved' is the keyword. She can't love me anymore, not after what I'd done to her. How she could ever love me in the first place was beyond me.

When the last of my tears are shed, I wipe them away and I turn the engine back on. At first home was the destination, but with all the blood that is boiling within me, I have a new route in mind - a new target.

The sudden change of ambition surprises me, whereas just a moment ago I was bawling like a baby, and now, I have a new goal.

Retribution.

Speeding down the road, my tires squeal as I make sharp turns leading to my next stop. My knuckles turn white from how tightly I'm gripping the wheel. I bite my inner cheek as I continue down the road, driving into the part of town I usually try to stay away from. The houses here seem so small and rundown compared to the one I live in.

I make one more turn and then I'm there - Whittney's house.

The only car in the driveway besides my own is Jeremy's van that Whittney often borrowed. If I'm lucky, it'll be Whittney who's home, and not his older brother. Though it is unlikely Jeremy would be home at four in the afternoon, I still keep my guard up as I walk to the front porch.

My fists are clenched as I bang on the door. "Whittney!" It takes too long and I get impatient. "Whittney, open the damn door!"

It doesn't take long after my outburst for him to finally do what I demanded. Opening the door, he reveals his smug demeanor. He looks at me expectantly, like he knows why I'm here and just waiting for me to lash out.

I lose it faster than even I anticipated, tackling Whittney to the ground the moment I step through the door.

We hit the floor and I immediately raise my clenched hand and bring it down with as much force as I can on his jaw. When he tries to push me off of him, I move his arms out of the way and throw yet another blow his way. He lets this go on for only one more puncc before fight back full force.

The base of his foot finds its way to my lower stomach. After grabbing my wrists firmly in his hands, he uses the force from his leg to propel me forwards. I inhale sharply when I land on my back. A tense ache travels up my spine as I try to get up. The attempt makes me hiss in pain.

Whittney gets up and I quickly follow his lead, the previous pain no longer bothering me. Now I'm fueled by rage as I throw myself at him again. This time I shove him against the wall and hold him there with my forearm pressing into his neck.

"Why'd you do it?" I growl, and press harder. "Why her? Why'd you have to turn her against me?!"

"I didn't do anything," he insists. "You're the one who cheated. I just supplied Berkley with the Virgo to make you more susceptible. And, would you look at that, it ended up working." His victorious smirk makes my blood boil and I punch him once again.

His body slumps against the wall a little. Blood starts to drip from his nose, which he quickly swipes away with the sleeve of his shirt.

I take in a sharp breath before I word my thoughts out loud. "Virgo?"

Whittney's smug expression is back again. "Yeah, that's right. Used to be called Craze." But that hasn't been around here since- "Looks like someone's a little pale."

The demeaning tone in his voice stops my brain from processing as I turn my attention back to why I came here in the first place.

I let out a dark chuckle. My arm flies up to Whittney's neck again, but this time my elbow crushes his throat instead of my forearm. The blood drains from his face as he struggles to breath. "Now who's the one looking a little pale?"

A tight grip finds its way onto my arm as Whittney tries to push me away, but I don't budge. When it looks like he finally can't take a moment without air, I let him collapse - a wheezing mess on the ground. While he's down, I send a blow to his - already bruised - stomach, making sure to get him right where it hurts.

He lets out a strangled cry, but I don't get to enjoy his agony for long, because he swipes my legs out right from under me. My side hits the ground hard, and he grabs me by my sleeves to bring me up again.

Pain courses through my shoulder as it collides with the wall. I'm not ready for blow that comes at me, so I can't block it. Before I can even feel the effects of the hit, I can taste it. Warm iron invades my taste buds and starts to pool in my mouth, drowning my tongue in a fowl bath.

Another fist full of rage bounces off my other cheek when Whittney moves me back into place.

When Whittney tries to strike again, my hand grips his wrist and I twist it. He cries out, but I don't stop there. The palms of my hands push him away from me and he stumbles back a couple steps.

This time, I don't leave an opening for him to take advantage of, shoving him to the floor right away. If he wasn't still so weak from the bruises he got elsewhere, he would have been more of a challenge, but he wasn't at the top of his game. The thought of him being high even crosses my mind. It wouldn't be surprising.

With him on the floor, I make my move and lean over him. I use the collar of his shirt to bring him up to me and bring my knuckles down on any part of his face that I could. Blood now coats my fingers - some of it Whittney's, and some mine.

"You...son...of...a...bitch!" I bring my fist down between every word. "You deal with Berkley, trick me, lie to Sabrina, and beat on Harry, and you think you can just get away with it with your bitchy little grin?!"

I'm about to raise my hand again, but I feel a hard pull on my scalp before I get the chance. "Ah!"

The person who holds a handful of my hair doesn't let go and keeps me secure. I suck in some air through my teeth when they harshly tug my head backwards.

"Nobody beats on my little brother," a voice hisses next to my ear. "except for me." He says this so casually that it sends a shiver down my spine.

Jeremy Rhodes lets go of me, and I bring my palms up to save me from falling face first on the hardwood floor. He's alone, which makes me sigh in relief. If his friends were here, no doubt he'd try to show off in some way in front of them.

Walking over to Whittney, he grabs him by the arm and brings him up to his feet. "What the hell was that?" He screams in his little brother's face. "You're going to let this piece of shit come into your house and beat on you like you're his little bitch?! Have you learned nothing?!"

I hadn't seen Jay for a few years now, but his presence is exactly how I remember it. He claims the room as his own, and makes everyone else feel inferior. The thought crosses my mind that maybe even Andrew would have an uneasy feeling being in the same room with him.

Even though Andrew is over a decade older, Whittney's brother has a discerning effect on people that is hard to avoid.

"I'm s-sorry," Whittney stutters - something he never does with anyone else.

Jay just smirks and pats his brothers back, hard. "Are ya?" He asks, then places something in Whittney's hand. "Finish it then."

The light from the window reflects off the metallic object. My heart rate increases like crazy as I look between the two siblings. It doesn't take long to figure out what his brother had given him.

A switchblade.

To my luck, Whittney looks like he's thinking this whole situation over. "Come on, Whitt. What happened to all the big talk earlier?" Jay challenged. "'If I ever get the chance, that fucker is dead.'" He mimicks his brother's supposed words in a mocking tone. "Don't tell me it was all just talk?"

Before I can turn to run, Jay grabs me by the back of the neck and forces the front of my body against the wall. I can feel my ribs bending a little from the pressure. Jay then suddenly pulls me away from the wall and I realize I was only held there so that he could take out his own knife from his back pocket.

The sharp end of the knife is pressing against my neck, almost cutting through the skin. He is so much stronger than me, so I can't get the upper hand.

I'm lead to the spot right in front of Whittney, sweat is gathering on my forehead and I clench my fists. The only thought that occurs to me is: Why does it have to be a knife?

"Well?" Jay sneers, which makes Whittney visibly wince. "Come on! You wanted to kill him, and here he is. What's stopping you now?!" A few seconds that feel like forever pass, and Jeremy laughs tauntingly. "That's what I thought. You're a weak little cunt who's nothing but talk."

Jay releases me, but quickly moves in on his brother. One swift move, and Whittney is on the floor, the knife now several feet away.

"You see, Whitt? Bad things happen when you steal from me!" Jay grabs his brother and forces him to the wall by his neck. When he lets go Whittney doesn't move a muscle and lets him pull at his shirt sleeve. "You can't do shit without my permission! Do I need to remind you of the consequences?!"

"Don't! Jeremy, please don't!" Whittney pleads with his older brother, but he doesn't listen. All attempts of keeping Jay from doing what he wanted to do were all useless. "I'll do anything! Don't let him see it!"

Everything becomes clear when Jay reveals what's hidden under the sleeve.

"Shit." Is all I can say.

Half a dozen small circular blisters are strategically placed on his forearm. The burns look fresh, like they couldn't be more than a few days old. Jay must have found out about Whittney taking his drugs and made him pay for it.

Jay takes a couple steps back, grinning. "I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about." With that, he exits the room, leaving Whittney and me alone again.

"I'm gonna need you not to tell anyone about this." Whittney is the first of the two of us to speak - I'm still shocked. He rolls his sleeve back over the burns and brushes what just happened off like it's nothing serious.

"Whitt . . " I trail off for a second to regain my bearings. After running my hand through my hair, I continue, "I had no idea. I had no idea that it was this serious."

The look I get from him is filled with disdain, but I don't think it's aimed at me.

"You should see him on a bad day," he chuckles darkly.

Once he sees the empathy in my eyes, his anger is once again towards me. His arms cross over his chest in a defensive manner. "So, what? You think that just because you know this little piece of information you can suddenly feel sorry for me?!"

I open my mouth to say something, but Whittney beats me to it.

"You haven't given a shit about me for years, so what makes you think you have the right to start caring now?!"

"I've always cared about you, but judging on what kind of a person you've been lately, I'm surprised I cared as long as I did. Harry and Sabrina are who I care about now," I clarify. "They are both the most innocent and selfless people I know and if I find out you do anything to mess with them, you'll regret it."

Whittney lets out a humorless laugh. "You think you're all high and mighty, don't you? You think that you're some fucking angel, because you're protecting a prude and a faggot?"

His words catch me off guard. "What did you just say?"

"Oh, you haven't figured it out yet?!" He exclaims, "You haven't figured out what kind of a sick little freak he is?"

"What do you mean?"

"He likes dicks, dude!"

"What are you talking about, Whitt?"

"God, Austin, do I gotta fuckin' spell it out for you?" Not even a minute ago he was vulnerable and now he is back to his normal self. "Harry's into guys. He's a faggot. He likes it in the ass."

"Harry isn't gay. You're just mad at him for siding with me so you're making up lies."

"I'm not making things up. Harry is gay. Whether you like it or not." Whittney's eyes darken. "He's a faggot."

My fingernails are digging into my palm as I try to hold back my rage. "Would you stop calling him that?"

"What, fag-?"

He doesn't even get the word out, because I'm already lunging at him.

Once I ring the doorbell it doesn't take Harry long to answer the door. When he lays eyes on me, his jaw dramatically drops.

After I left Whittney's house, I never took the time to check the damage he had done to me. I know exactly what he looked like once I was done with him, though. Holding back the peek of my animosity was something I couldn't do at the time, and I lost all control. We both beat the shit out of each other, that's for sure.

Harry examines my face in shock before saying, "C-come in."

I don't waste any time before walking through the door, and Harry doesn't waste any time before dragging me to the kitchen, demanding he to clean me up.

Within minutes Harry has a whole first aid kit laid out on the kitchen counter while we're sitting on high chairs next to it. Every time the wet cloth comes down on a different part of my face, I wince and suck in a harsh breath. Whittney really did a number on me, but he had wounds of his own to take care of right now.

Unless he's still unconscious on his living room floor.

"Sabrina and I broke up." This is the first thing I've said since I got here.

Harry's eyes widen. "What happened? Is it permanent?"

"I don't know." I run my hand through my hair. "Whittney sent her the text before I could tell her. The he told her lies on top of that. That bastard was saying that this wasn't the first time I've cheated on her."

"Are you going to be okay?" He asks.

I nod. "I've had worse. These cuts are nothing, they'll be gone in no time."

"I'm not talking about you physically."

"Ah, I see." I sit up straighter and cross my arms over my chest. "You're trying to get me to express my feelings."

Harry raises his eyebrows, silently confirming that's exactly what he wants me to do. I sigh, but then inhale painfully when he applies disinfectant to my deepest cut. Afterwards, he applies some sort of bandage to the same spot, and another on my cheekbone.

"So are you going to tell me, or do I have to force you?" He asks, his voice leaking a serious tone. When I stay silent, he sighs. "Austin, talking about your feelings is what friends are for."

Letting out a sarcastic laugh, I say, "Whenever I tried talking about them to any of my friends they told me I left my balls at home."

"Well," he says, packing everything back up in the first-aid kit. "I'm not Rodney, or any of those other guys. Friends are supposed to help you when you're upset, not question your masculinity."

I open my mouth to say something, but I stay quiet.

"Austin?"

"She doesn't know if she wants me back," I whisper. "Whittney has got her thinking I'm exactly the person people kept trying to tell her I am, and now I don't think I can ever get her back. I went to Whitt's to hurt him for hurting both you and Sabrina, but we were interrupted."

Harry rubs his eyes in distress, then leans his weight on the counter. "Jeremy?"

"Yeah."

"Shit, is he the one who beat you like this?!"

"No, this," I gesture towards my face. "was all Whittney. Jeremy threw some threats around, but I think they were more to just mess with his little brother more than anything else."

"Having a brother like that can really mess someone up."

I let out a humorless laugh. "You have no idea."

"There's more," Harry says, reading right into my words. "What is it?"

I run my hand through my hair and take in a large breath of air. "There are burns all over Whittney's arm." I spit out the information, trying not to let my words waver.

When I look up, Harry's face speaks for itself. "What do you mean burns? What happened?"

"The burns on Whittney's arm weren't just from some accident," I explain. Taking a deep breath, I continue, "They were cigarette burns. Maybe half a dozen of them running up the inside of his right arm."

Each burn of every cigarette butt was precise, almost thought out like some sick ritual.

"Jeremy Rhodes is more screw up than we thought."

"Shit," he breathes. "Do you know when it happened?"

"They looked fresh, like it's not even been a couple days since it happened."

It's silent for what feels like forever before Harry breaks the silence. "I know we should be worrying about Whittney right now, but I'm more worried about you. You look terrible, and I'm not just talking about how bruised your face looks right now."

Nothing is said, leaving us in another uncomfortable silence. But eventually, I speak, "I'm losing everything." I wipe away the tears rimming my eyes. "I lost Sabrina, I lost Whittney, my parents have been long lost. I can't lose you too. You have no idea how sorry I am for how I've been treating you and Whitt these past couple of years."

"There's no reason for me not to appreciate a friendship like yours. Sometimes I don't make how much you mean to me clear enough." I run both of my hands through my hair this time. "I'm so sorry that I was such a terrible friend. I don't know how you can not be mad at me for how horrible I've been to the both of you."

Harry grips my shoulders tightly, which makes me look up into his eyes. "I could never be mad at you."

"Are you gay?" My question catches us both off guard.

He stares at me with wide eyes, his mouth moving as if he wants to say something, but no sound comes out.

"It's true, isn't it?" I shove him away, heat rushing to my head. "You're fucking gay and you never told me?"

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Whittney was right!" I laugh, running my hands through my hair.

"Austin, please. Whatever he told you, I don't have feelings for you anymore."

All the heat drains from my face. "You liked me? Oh god, this just gets better."

It feels as though a brick wall just slammed into me. My heartrate is racing at an unnatural rate as I stare, shell-shocked, at my best friend. Regret is all over his face, and tears stain his cheeks.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I turn to leave, but Harry follows close behind me.

"Please don't go!" He yells as I continue to the door.

He grabs me by the arm, and I turn around, a fierce look plastered on my face. "You do know that you and I . . ?" I gesture to the both of us. "won't happen, right?! You and I will never happen!"

"Austin, please! You misunderstood what I-"

"Don't!" I hold my finger, signaling him to stop right there. After throwing on my jacket, I swing the front door open and slam it behind me.

Once I get in the car, I repeat my act from a few hours ago, letting my frustrations out on my steering wheel. When I've finally let it all out, I pull out of the driveway.

The events of today are on replay in my head, and I can't help but let a few tears fall. Everything is going to shit, and I'm losing everyone. Whether me losing the person was my fault, or their own - it hurt too much.

Only pain is radiating through my whole entire body. The adrenaline of my anger is now gone, and my afflictions are all that's left of me. They're eating up every little piece of me on the inside, and no mercy is shown, because I've never shown the same mercy to anyone.

Everything that I've done has come to karma's attention, and now it's coming to serve its rueful justice. It's what I deserve anyways. All the events from the past few days is what I deserve.

An uneasy thought makes my stomach drop.

Virgo - the name of the drug is different, but the way it made me feel was the same. I know now why it seemed like it was an experience I'd gone through multiple times before.

I pull over, open the car door, and bile rises to my throat, then spills onto the gravel on the side of the road. The drug that was once known as Craze, is now Virgo.

Dax's drug.

***

There were some huge shocker moments in this chapter, so I hope you liked them - or, at least were shocked by them!

Thank you so much for reading, and please don't forget to leave a comment to tell me what you thought of the chapter, or vote if you think think the ch is deserving.

Also, the video to the right is my book trailer I finally made XD Please check it out and tell me what you think. I worked on it for HOURS - literally. So I'd love some feedback on that as well.