Mikey didn't know how long he had been in there already. He didn't have any way of telling the time inside of his inner-mind, and from his past experiences being stuck in there, he doubted that time passed like it normally would anyway.

There wasn't much to do either. He hated looking at his soul. Not so much caring anymore that it had lost it's light, and instead angry at this living representation of himself. A horrible soul for a horrible brother, huh? He'd glare at it wishing he could somehow rid himself of it entirely.

Without it, he could just exist inside of that space alone until he'd probably fade away entirely. This was his mind, and he had been trapped inside of it, so it would made sense. He was a part of his consciousness that couldn't contribute, so it was best to get rid of it, of him.

Being trapped here... He figured it was close enough for now.

His fingers tingled, their lightness was something he had to get used to in here. He wasn't really physically present, the way he looked in here was just a projection of what he looked like outside of his inner mind. He didn't get many sensations in his limbs anymore. At first he still sometimes did, his senses tingling, like his nerves we're trying to connect to a body that didn't belong to them anymore. Now, though, with how long it had been, he figured he was fully disconnected. He wasn't sure how he felt about that fact... He missed his brothers, his father, his friends, but what right did he have to be where he didn't belong?

At least he could cry in here alone. It was nice to not have to hide his emotions for a change. He could scream at the rest of his mind around him without consequences, letting it all out.

Maybe he was mourning. He had lost himself and his family, and any chance of redemption for his true self. Closing himself off was for the best, but to grapple with the fact that he would never reconnect with Leo, Raph, or Donnie... The thought still made him wince.

'I'm sorry for getting in your way, Don...' He whispered to himself. It echoed and disappeared into the darkness around him. Both being the younger half of the team, while growing up Mikey had always felt a strong connection to Donnie. Having three older brothers looking down on him just for being younger had often upset him, but Donnie, having two older brothers as well, he could relate to him, right?

It turned out that, no, Donnie could probably relate least to Mikey because of his genius intellect. As a kid he hadn't noticed it. Unaware of the annoyed glances he'd get whenever he'd disrupt Donnie's projects to ask a ton of questions about it. His brother was just so cool to him! How did he understand all of that technical stuff? As a kid, Mikey really believed Donnie knew everything.

Eventually he'd caught on. Becoming aware of Donnie's annoyance. Realising that, perhaps his brother didn't actually appreciate him joining in at all.

He sighed, not that there was any real air to let out.

Once he realised he was often just 'too much' for his brothers, he'd started balancing the time he spent being outwardly himself around each of them. If he noticed his excitability and curiosity was annoying Donnie too much he would seek out his other brothers.

Leo would be there to cheer him up, but he too had his limits. He had to learn about his limits or risk upsetting his oldest brother too, and he didn't want that. If Mikey could be quiet he could spend a lot of time with Leo watching tv, meditating, reading. Leo was always invested in the things he did, focusing on them in a way that Mikey couldn't begin to compete with. Doing something together with Leo often meant just doing your own thing in the same place. He'd end up talking too much eventually or being too busy, and once he saw a frown appear he'd try, he'd really try to shut himself up! In the end he just never could, leading to him being shooed away or leaving on his own accord to not make Leo mad. Yes, Leo was there for him when he was upset, but even his most patient brother seemingly couldn't stand to be with him for very long. Leo would make him feel safe, not wanted.

And Raph... He was more independent than all of them while growing up. He would get angered so much, and so easily, that he could get violent with others. Raph was volatile, switching between hitting him over the head to reassuring him on the dime. If Mikey came to him for anything, there was a chance he'd be chased off angrily or just welcomed without judgement depending on Raph's mood, and no real way to tell which it would end up being. Being angered so easily, Mikey wondered if Raph was like him; maybe he had spent his time alone to avoid his emotions being set off. Containing himself just like Mikey would often have to.

Even if that were the case, it didn't help to create any understanding between them. Mikey could emphasise with his hotheaded brother, he could emphasise with all of them. The other way around? Not so much. Where Mikey was soft, Raph was harsher. Where he was positive, Raph was negative. And most importantly, even if they both had their strong emotions or would act out more than the others, Raph was still more competent aside from that than him.

Raph also lacked the clinginess he seemed to be born with, always looking for a sense of connection, wanting to be with his brothers all the time if he could. That's why it hurt so much when they'd push him away, or when he would distance himself before they could. In a way, even back then, he'd already started to reel himself back. Never truly fitting in. Already beginning to learn he was better off hiding away. He frowned to himself, wondering if it had all even been worth it.

Had it ever been worthwhile to have him around? Or would it have been better if he was never there to begin with? How much suffering could his brothers have avoided? How much pain could he have avoided? He clenched his unfeeling hands into fists.

His soul shifted.

He glared at it.

~~~*~~~

"Hajime!" Splinters voice sounded through the dojo.

Raph got up from the floor with a grunt. Mikey had floored him, again. By now it was starting to become routine. While Leo and him used to dominate sparring matches, now Mikey was up there at the top with Leo instead. As he made his way over to sit in front of Splinter with the others he looked over towards his brothers. Leo seemed satisfied as always, obviously still thrilled that his little brother was doing so well. Donnie was stretching a little bit while sitting down. Raph didn't see him go down, but he heard. He knew the soreness being struck down to the ground could cause, even during training. He tried to catch Donnie's eye subtlely. Today was the day they would try to ask Splinter for help, but they hadn't exactly agreed on who would speak up first, just that they would ask after training.

"My sons, you have all performed well today. I am impressed by your progress." Splinter eventually said. "I feel there is no need to meditate after today's training, as you were all fully focused during your matches." He praised, and Raph and Donnie let out a relieved sigh. They'd have time today. Donnie glanced his way and they nodded towards each other before Splinter dismissed everyone for the day. This was their chance. He glanced around to see Mikey and Leo standing up to leave, purposefully moving a lot slower himself to create some space between them.

"Master Splinter?" Donnie, who had also gotten up to stand next to him called out rather softly. Raph cursed inwardly as he saw Mikey pause on his way out of the dojo. They had wanted to try to do this without Leo and Mikey present, for obvious reasons. "I- We have been meaning to ask you about something..." Donnie motioned towards him. Raph watched as Mikey turned around to stare their way, causing Leo to stop and turn too, looking at them questioningly. He met the eyes of his littlest brother's emotionless face for a second before turning away, not liking the way his vacant eyes seemed to stare right through him.

"Yes, but..." Raph began, his hesitation making Splinter raise an eyebrow. "We actually meant to do that alone." Looking into Splinter's eyes he tried to convey that this was important. Understanding flashed in his father's eyes, but before he could react, Leo did.

"Why can't we be here?" He frowned, and Raph couldn't help himself as his frustration flared up.

"Because it doesn't concern you, alright?!" He shot back, meeting Leo's offended glare with his own.

"I think it does. I'm not stupid Raph, I saw the two of you whispering after patrol yesterday too." Leo crossed his arms. He wasn't going to back down anymore now, Raph could tell. Donnie put his hands up placatingly.

"Leo, I'm sorry, but I think it's really in everyone's best interest if you two aren't present-"

"What so Mikey can't even be there either? Why the secrecy all of the sudden?"

"Can you accept for once that you don't need to know?" Raph growled but Donnie stepped in front of him.

"Leo, this is important." His purple banded brother started to reason.

"All the more reason why I should be a part of whatever this is about! I'm the leader of our team, I have a right to know! And Mikey does too." To say Raph was surprised by his stance would be a lie, he and Leo always butted heads about everything and anything. He had just hoped today, with Leo being in a better mood ever since Mikey got back on the team, that he'd let things go instead of digging his heels in the sand. Speaking off... Raph glanced towards Mikey, who hadn't said a single thing ever since training ended. His stare was difficult to read, but his stance was tense, apprehensive. Waiting...

Splinter cleared his throat, having watched so far from the background. "Donatello, Raphael, does this concern you, or your entire team?" Donnie pursed his lips and looked towards Raph worriedly. Should they lie? Their pause was already suspicious enough Raph figured.

"It's- Well it's..." He looked towards Donnie, trusting him more to convey everything that needed to be said.

"It's about that thing you mentioned you felt before." Donnie explained. Leo's frown lifted a bit, relieved to finally know what was going on, and his father looked surprised.

"We might have figured out what it could be..." Everyone had turned to listen intently to Donnie now, who clasped his hands together nervously, wavering under his father's intent gaze for a moment.

"My sons, whatever scares you, we will manage it together as a family." He put a hand on Donnie's shoulder. "I can tell that whatever you've uncovered bothers you deeply."

Donnie nodded and looked towards Raph again for help.

"Raphael?" Once Splinter adressed him he sucked in a deep breath. They weren't getting answers with Mikey still standing right there. They had tried to be discreet about it, but his patience was wearing thin. Leo and Mikey weren't leaving? Fine. They could confront everything right here. Right now. He looked between his worried father, his scared brother, then towards the suspicious, empty eyes that he'd been annoyed by ever since this all began.

"It's him!" Raph waved an arm towards Mikey angrily, who regarded him silently. "Can't you see it too!? He's been messed up ever since-" It didn't come out as he'd planned with Donnie before, his frustration about everything taking over.

"That's too far, Raph!" Leo interjected defensively. He couldn't understand why Raph refused to see the good side of things. Now he was blaming whatever darkness sensei sensed on Mikey? He hadn't done anything wrong the past weeks. Was he jealous? Mikey had been winning from him in sparring, never failing during missions, maybe in comparison Raph started to feel more insecure himself? He clenched his fists. Just now that things we're finally looking up, they had to stirr up more drama? Over what? Mikey had been different, not messed up. "We've been over this! Just because you don't like how he's doing better, that doesn't mean you get to blame everything else that's wrong on him! How is that fair to..." Leo looked towards Mikey just to trail off uncertainly.

He hadn't said a single thing yet, and wasn't even looking at any of them anymore. Instead, he was glaring coldly at the ground in front of him.

"Mikey..?" Leo now worriedly asked. Maybe being accused of something like that was too much for him? At his continued lack of response, Donnie carefully spoke up.

"I've been thinking back, to when he got kicked off the team, and everything that happened since." He stated, keeping an eye on Mikey's face to gauge his reaction. "Mikey brought up souls because it was his soul he must have been asking about. And the 'dark presence' sensei sensed around the lair? It all matched up together." Donnie paused when Mikey remained unmoving, taking a moment to think. "I know we've mistreated you, Mikey..." He tried gently, but if anything, Mikey's face seemed to harden.

"But we never meant to turn you into... this! You don't have to act like this anymore!" He almost pleaded to him. This ruthless robotic soldier his brother had turned into making him uneasy. "The way you've been acting... You're scaring me." He glanced towards Raph. "Us." He corrected and Raph nodded. "Whatever happened with you, with your soul... We can fix it, Mikey!" He hoped he sounded more confident than he felt, because Mikey's lack of response so far was unnerving.

Raph looked between the two sides of the room as he watched Donnie try to get through to Mikey. A heavy silence fell over the dojo, in which all eyes had turned to Mikey to await his answer, their worry growing the longer it went on. Mikey hadn't even acknowledged he heard anything yet.

"...Fix this?" He eventually spoke up in a small voice, but the intensity of those two little words still struck them through the tense air in the room. His voice uncomprehending. Leo reached out to put a comforting hand on his shoulder with worry in his eyes.

"Little bro-" Mikey grabbed his arm before he could finish and flipped him across the dojo towards the others. He landed with a grunt before them, Raph already quickly pulling out his sai on instinct.

"Mikey!" "What the hell!" They cried out in surprise.

Calmly, Mikey straightened himself up to look at them again.

"I don't understand." He stated almost plainly, like he didn't just throw his brother across the room. Donnie helped Leo up, and although he could see the pure confusion in his eyes, he saw some growing understanding there now too. Leo looked up at Mikey, hurt and confusion written across his face.

"I don't understand what needs to be fixed." He continued. "I already fixed everything." Mikey looked between all of them icely as they exchanged nervous glances. They had to think of something quickly before this escalated even more. Again, Donnie decided to try and explain.

"What we mean is- Mikey, you're not yourself anymore, and if your soul is-"

"Not myself?" He repeated robotically. His unwavering gaze made Donnie want to shrink back. The eeriness of those once warm and happy eyes so void of anything except what now seemed to be a growing venomous anger made him grow more and more afraid that things might be done for. Still, this was his little bother, his only little brother, so he mustered up the determination to keep trying.

"Your jokes, your laughter, how much you'd talk, dance, goof off, just- everything!" He exclaimed desperately. Mikey had to realise it himself, right? How could he not?

"You told me to get rid of that." He shot back immediately. Making Donnie freeze up.

"We never wanted you to get rid of it!" Raph tried to back him up, but it came out less confident than he wanted it to, because, well they couldn't really deny it, could they? Regardless of what they had told him, and what they had actually wanted, it was only now that they got what they asked for that they realised how wrong it was.

"We just wanted things to be better." Leo added regretfully. He was lost as to what was entirely going on to ever get them to this point, but he knew for sure that his brother was not supposed to look at them like that. Like he was about to snap. The horrible realisation that he might have been so lost in his own idealised world after Mikey changed, that he didn't notice anything else amiss fell over him. If Donnie and Raph were right, and whatever was going on with Mikey or his soul was causing the darkness Splinter sensed hanging over the lair, then he had to find a way to help calm his brother down. He had already thrown him, who knows what else could happen?

"I am better!" Mikey raised his voice, anger slowly bleeding through. "I've become everything you needed me to be!" He lashed out.

"Mikey." Donnie began. "If your soul-"

"My soul?" Mikey huffed out, raised his eyebrows mockingly. "That's nothing to worry about anymore." He sneered at them.

"What do you mean?" Donnie worried but Mikey ignored him.

"I don't understand any of you." He glared between all his brothers. "You told me to change, and I did. I got rid of him like you wanted, and now you're upset?" He scoffed out a hollow laugh.

"Rid of what?" Leo frowned, alarm bells flaring up inside his head.

"Myself. Of course." Mikey answered. "You of all people should be happy with that." He stated coldly, and Leo stared at him uncomprehendingly. He was trying to think of some way to fix all of this, but he couldn't begin to understand what to do. Mikey seemed livid, but they had put him back on the team weeks ago. What was still so wrong that it caused all of this? Why didn't everything go back to normal? Seeing Mikey glare at him like that all of the sudden, when he seemed so unbothered before, it made him feel like he had to show he was there for him. Mikey wasn't one to get angry, he'd always just switch to being upset instead. That's what must be underneath this, right? He wanted to reach out to him, but Splinter stopped him.

"My sons." Splinter spoke up. "I believe by now it should be clear that whoever is standing in front of us, is not Michelangelo himself." And while Leo could not begin to wrap his head around that, Donnie and Raph seemed to take it in with a lot less surprise than him. Nothing about the person standing in front of them reminded them anymore of who their little brother used to be. His threathening energy and menacing stance was the opposite of what they had known him as.

Mikey's deathly glare shifted from him to his father, creating a silent stand off. The others could only watch anxiously as to what would happen next. Leo had already been floored himself... Mikey wouldn't try to take on Splinter, would he? Splinter didn't waver under his stare, and after a few moments Mikey's near murderous gaze seemed to suddenly shift into a hollow dejected one, his shoulders dropping to his sides as he seemed to unwind, head bopping down a bit to look towards the floor again.

"Fine, I know where I'm not wanted." He mumered. Leo felt Splinter's hand leave his shoulder again, but he could sense this wasn't over yet. Mikey's hand moved towards his belt, ghosting over his nunchucks. Behind him, he heard Donnie shuffle and Raph shifting in his stance, sai's at the ready for a fight that Leo still hoped wouldn't even begin.

"But... I'm not going back to the way things were before." Mikey continued more strongly, grip tightening on his nunchucks. Mikey looked up to meet their eyes one last time. "And you are never getting him back!" He declared as he quickly grabbed his nunchucks from his belt. And while Leo heard the metal of Raph's sai cut through the air, and Donnie grabbing his staff as they moved back into a fighting stance, he watched Mikey unsheathe the hidden blade of his nunchucks, raising his arm as he held it above his head, his eyes widening as he turned the blade away from them, and towards himself.

"MIKEY!" Leo felt the blood draining from his face as he rushed forward to catch Mikey's arm as he had swung it down towards himself. He felt sick. Desperately, he struggled against his younger brother to, moving his arm to the side to try and get the blade away from them. There was blood running down arm, but a quick glance told him it was from his own arm, having been cut as he stopped the blade from swinging down. He had barely felt it, too focused on his struggle with Mikey, who was grunting as he tried to force him to let go. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins.

"Mikey- Please!" He tried to contain him, keeping his hold on Mikey's arm that still held the blade, while Mikey tried to shake him off just as desperatedly as he tried to keep him in his hold. During their struggle, Donnie and Raph had recovered from their own shock and rushed in to help. They looked just as pale as he did. They had expected a fight, not...

"Mikey!?" "You have to calm down, Mike!" His brothers tried, but Mikey just resisted harder. The three of them should have been able to floor him in seconds, but their minds were still reeling, full of panic and fear, and Mikey was more fierce than they'd ever seen him before, struggling like his life depended on it. Leo was terrified by the realisation that it actually did.

"He's not calming down!"

"No shit, brainiac!" Raph and Donnie frantically yelled.

"Sensei!?" Leo managed to make Mikey release his weapon, dropping it to the ground and kicking it away. "What do we do!?" He cried back over his shoulder.

"We need to reach the real Michelangelo!" Splinter told them.

"How the hell are we supposed to do that?" Raph barked back, not even caring that he'd yelled at master Splinter, who quickly crossed the dojo towards them to help push Mikey towards the ground. Leo grabbed his right arm, Raph his left, and Donnie pinned down his legs, immobilising him completely. Mikey screamed and thrashed, and they had to fight against the urge to not let him go when they knew they were probably hurting him. Splinter quickly sat down beside Mikey's head, placing a gentle hand on his forehead. Mikey glared back up at him, the sneer on is face so hateful and near feral it made them wonder if he would try to bite him.

"We will have to enter his inner mind to reach the true Michelangelo." Splinter explained, and Donnie gulped fearfully.

"None of us were ever able to even reach our own inner-mind, sensei. How would we do so now?" Fighting against his struggling brother wasn't the best environment to meditate in. Not to mention, he hated the idea of entering Mikey's mind without Mikey agreeing to. It seemed like a severe invasion of privacy.

"I will guide you to get there, my sons. I understand your concerns, but I fear there is no other way! You must concentrate to reach him!" He urged them. They looked between eachother doubtfully, then nodded determinedly. This was to help Mikey. They had to!

They closed their eyes, trying to focus and still their minds. Beneath them, Mikey switched from angrily trashing to panickedly telling them to stop.

"Focus on my voice, allow your other senses to leave you." Splinter's voice guided them. Their minds emptied, and after a moment a strange lightness took over their bodies.

Faintly, as if from very far away, they heard Mikey scream.

"Find your brother, and bring him back!" Their father's voice rang out clearly before everything faded away.

After that they didn't hear anything anymore. They didn't feel their limbs or bodies, their consciousness seemed to exist in an empty space. Then, like a the water of a waterfall crashing over them their senses seemed to return.

Leo felt his feet touch the ground. Ground? Was a mind supposed to have a ground? He hadn't ever been to an inner-mind himself. He opened his eyes slowly to find a chessboard like floor beneath him. The darkness around him seemed to stretch back endlessly.

It was so... lifeless. Cold, barren, and nothing like what he would have figured Mikey's mind to be like. The emptiness in Mikey's eyes flashed through his thoughts, now it was starting to make more sense to him.

He heard a soft tap from beside him, seeing Donnie softly land to his right before Raph did the same to his left.

"Did we make it?" Donnie softly asked them.

"It's so empty..." Raph mumbled, clearly just as confused as he was. If anyone of them should have the wildest possible inner-mind, they figured it would have been Mikey. This empty dark fog stretching on in front of them? It didn't fit. How were supposed to reach Mikey in here to bring him back? How would they even go back themselves?

Leo shook his head to snap himself out of his thoughts. Those are questions for later, he reasoned with himself. They had to get moving, find a way to locate Mikey in here somhow, then-

"Leo...?" A voice so soft but oh so familiar, sounded out behind them, catching them off guard. He whirled around, wide eyes meeting the surprised eyes of his littlest brother.

"Mikey?"

Words: 4445

Going to have this cut it off here or it's going to get way too long. I want to get a chapter out on time for you guys :)

I hope you enjoyed! Thank you everyone for welcoming me back after all this time! I'm so happy to finish a story people have been waiting for for so long.

Till next time!