After the medical vehicle came to the hospital, nurses and doctors crowded around Lucy's bed and rushed to the operation sale.

Salmon haired boy struggled to go in with them but the security didn't let him. He was forced to stay outside.

Only thing he had left was hope.

Hope that Lucy would pull through.

Hours and hours passed.. no news. But one of the nurses eyed a worried boy for a long time and approached him.

"Excuse me, sir. You should really head home now. You look exhausted and a night of sleep would surely help." the nurse spoke politely.

"I can't. I need to be here when she wakes up." Natsu argued while keeping his head low. Orange headed worker tapped her chin and smiled when she got an idea.

"I'm sure your friend will be okay and as soon as she becomes stable, we'll call you. Does that sound okay?"

"But I-"

"No buts, now please come with me so we can write down your info." Fire mage let out a sigh in defeat at the nurses words.

-

I can't sleep.

The silence echoing in his ears was the constant white noise that never shut up. His head swam in the fire burning inside, the only smouldering embers of a time where there had been other presences with him, around him.

But now, the void had been slowly filled with a cold, howling storm of fear that refused to ever let up. He was completely and utterly alone in his mind, body, soul, and most of all, entirely alone in the world.

He couldn't help but notice how lonely it was here without Lucy.

Natsu got up from the bed and decided to snoop around for a bit, just to distract his mind from constantly thinking about her.

He went to her desk and opened the first drawer, it was filled with photos; Lucy's happiest memories.

There were photos of her with her family when she was younger, photos of her and her guild mates and photos of her and Natsu.

The boy smiled softly at the sight and closed the drawer.

He opened the next one, that one was filled with letters. Letters to her deceased family. He couldn't bring himself to read them, that would be just disrespectful.

Natsu opened the last drawer and found more letters, but these weren't labeled. He took one and began reading it.

Dear Fairy Tail,
I'm so sorry to all of you, but if someone is reading this then that means I'm no longer here. I just wanted to say that I'm so grateful for everything you guys gave me. Life is a beautiful gift which all of you should cherish, but I failed in doing that. I know some of you will think I'm a coward for giving up and taking a shortcut out. I also know everyone will be furious at my action, but none of you knew my problems nor my pain, I know I should've told you, but I just couldn't bring myself to worry you. I did this because I woke up every morning wishing I didn't and I did this because my mind became so poisoned that I couldn't handle it anymore. This letter might only hurt you more, but all of you deserved some kind of an explanation. Once again, I'm so sorry, this might be selfish of me but I just can't bare it anymore. I died the moment when my heartbeats lost their purpose. I have to go now, my mind will become a blank any second, I love you..
With love, Lucy Heartfilia..

The boy sighed and realized these were her suicide notes. She had so many of them. He went through every single one.

In every she told how much she hated being here. How much she wanted to leave.

But il all changed when he read the next one.

Dear whoever is reading this,
I might not be able to say goodbye to you. I might already be dead, who knows.
But, if by any chance Natsu is reading this.. I just want you to know how much you mean to me. You gave me the reason to live again. You are the only person who stuck with me and loved me genuinely. I didn't know that was possible but you showed me what true love was. Just know I'm forever grateful to you. I love you.

One second passed.Two seconds passed.Three seconds passed. Guilt was eating and pestering the boy. A fire burned in his mind and throat. His heartbeat seemed like an echo in the hall.

"Dammit!" He shouted.

-

Later that day, the hospital called and said Lucy was conscious and stable.

Natsu didn't want to waste any more time. He came to the destination in less then ten minutes and rushed into the part when they told him Lucy was.

On the way there, he noticed a doctor standing by the door, when he figured he just finished talking to his girlfriend the man stopped him.

"Are you..." he went through some papers before speaking firmly "Natsu?"

"Yes"

"You have to know something before you enter this room. The girl you're going to visit is in great danger. Her life is on the line and we do not know how much time she has left. We are very sorry to telling you this but treasure the time you have with her.." he spoke again, but sympathy was heard in his voice this time.

Natsu's brain stuttered for a moment and his eyes took in more light than he expected, every part of him went on pause while his thoughts caught up.

He was white as chalk. His eyes and mouth were frozen and wide open in an expression of stunned surprise, and although she was staring straight at the doctor he appeared not to notice him at all.

"I-I understand.." the boy nodded slowly and without a second glance walked into the patients room.

"Natsu!" Blonde cheered as happiness over took her from seeing him. But soon enough, her features and mood completely changed when she noticed his expression.

His eyes were wide open while staring at the floor. As soon as he looked up at the blonde on the bed they looked like they were trying to hold back tears.

Lucy's eyes widened as the realization hit her.

"They told you.." she mumbled. Then she proceeded to walk over to him.

She placed her tiny palms on his cheeks and smiled softly.

"Natsu.. it's going to be okay.." and with her words he wasn't in control of his emotions anymore.

His silent weeping was worse than a tantrum or screaming. His eyes welled up with the a sadness someone in his age should not possess. They showed his soul.

The silence of his cry was eerie, like he had been forced to learn how to do this. What would it take to mend a soul as damaged as that and who would try?

Lucy wanted to scoop him up and take him home, pour love into him until he felt safe enough to cry out loud when he felt hurt.

The boy continued to sob into her chest, his silent tears soaking the pjs she had on, but she didn't mind.

"Why didn't you tell me..?" He cried out as he clenched onto her.

"I couldn't.. you were so happy for the past few weeks and I just couldn't bring myself to ruin that.." she said truthfully while running circles on his back.

"I love you, Lucy! I love you so much! I can't bare to lose you!"

"I told you everything's going to be okay.." she said silently, unconsciously doubting her words.

"Look at me.." she said firmly but sweetly. The boy shook his head in her shoulder.

"Natsu.. please look at me.." he snuffled one more time before looking up at her while holding by her shoulders.

"I'm going to be okay.. although, your worry is flattering, you shouldn't cry over me.." blonde smiled.

"I can't-" Lucy stopped him by quickly giving him a peck on the lips.

"You should smile for me.."

———————————————————————

i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry for taking so long! i didn't give up on this story yet, i'm going to finish it!

Hope you liked this chapter!