"Court adjourned."

The judge hits the gravel and the spell breaks. Whatever kind of link I felt with these people, it's dismantled as they all file out of the room. I receive a few compassionate nods but the distasteful glances remain at the top of the poll.

I stay glue to chair, afraid that I will fall if I move. The past hour has taken more energy than I had store. Now, I feel like a bamboo – tough and dry on the outside but hallow inside.

"That wasn't too bad," Mr. Gibbens informs me as he strengthens out his tie. "Could have been better, though. You just can't hold on to the crazy for five seconds, can you?"

"If you think that was crazy," I pause for effect then continue with a low sinister tone, "then we definitely need to hang out more often. I can show you batshit insane."

He moves away a bit then picks his suitcase up. "I'll see you next week." He attempts to act nonchalant but I can see the small indent of fear in him.

I breathe in and out, readying myself to walk down the path of people's judgment. I was better off when they all were against me but now I don't know who's with me or who's ready to stab me in the back while wiping my tears away.

"Rachel," my father calls from his seat. He looks so out of place without Jenny with him. He nods towards the nearly empty exit door.

Is he waiting for the crowd to disappear because he doesn't want to accidently come too close to my mother or is he doing it for me?

My mind decides to accept the latter even though I hear Sarah voicing the contrary in my head.

I hurry towards my dad. I want to get away from this stand as soon as possible.

"Hi, Rachel." My steps faltering upon hearing Darwin's voice. It sounds empty and broken.

When my eyes meet his, it takes everything in me not to hug him. The carefree and teasing man I once knew is now replaced with a pale, skinny man with baggy eyes. Even his smile is weak. This is the first time I actually want to see him smirk.

"Boohoo, poor Darwin," Kenny exclaims. "You're the one who did this to him in the first place. If you had listen and just take the big jump, they would all have been happy now. So you're the only one to blame, little slut."

I almost jump out of my skin when Steven moves past me without a word nor a glance. It's like I'm invisible to him. Not that it had ever been different with him.

"Rachel," my dad snaps. "I have a job to go to."

I pick up my pace and rush to him. I smile brightly at him but he turns around as soon as I get a few feet away from him.

I ignore the twist in my chest. I ask for this. I deserve this and much worse.

"God, I swear you're bipolar." I walk on someone's toes as Sarah enflames my neurons. I move away without apologizing.

I got bigger fish to fry, buddy.

"One day, you hate the world," she continues. "The next day, you want them to love you. One day, you want to kill them. Another day, you're begging for forgiveness. For Satan's sake, choose one. You're either with us and hate them all or you're with them and die a slow agonizing death."

"Wow, you make such an enticing case, mommy Sarah," I answer sarcastically, "the decision is so hard."

A few people turn to look at me but they dismiss me as quickly.

"It's the crazy girl," an old guy in a cheap suit explains to the thirsty bimbo gripping his biceps tighter than her dress grip her artificial chest.

"Rae," a familiar voice comes from a few feet behind me.

I half want to run and hide. I also want to run to him and bury myself in his chest.

No. How dare he use that beautiful nickname to unravel me!

I don't want to see him again especially after what happened last time. Being close to him always skyrock my current emotional state to the roof whether it's happiness, sadness, or anger. Somehow, they're all tied to him. His presence has such a strong effect on me, one that I cannot tolerate.

I keep walking, following my dad who, despite being mad and disappointed in me, throws a glance back to make sure I'm safe. With each of those glances, my heart sinks.

"Rae," Brandon calls again.

I don't want to see him. I really don't want to hear him nor being near him. I wish he'd go back to avoiding me because I can't take his presence. He's a reminder of everything that I could have had if I was normal.

Finally, I feel his body closing in on me. I pick up the pace. I get out of the courthouse but don't get far in the parking lot. Brandon grabs me and makes me face him.

His dark brown eyes glow with the sun shining over us. "Why are you ignoring me?"

"I'm not." I pull away from him.

"Yes, you are," he stresses.

"Well, in that case, I guess the tables have turned." I start to walk towards my dad's car since my driving privileges have been revoked.

He catches up to me in just one stride then block my path. "I want to apologize about everything – not being there and that night. I had school. College is really stressful especially with the type of professors I have."

Sarah tsk. "Blaming the professors, aren't we? Just like the good old days. That boy will never stop running away from his responsibilities then blame other people for it. Trust me, Rachel."

For some reason, I actually do trust her. I trust Sarah and Kenny more than any other person on this planet. They're the only ones who never lied to me even when their goals towards me have never been honorable.

"Stop blaming other people for your shortcomings, Brandon." I push him away with all my force but he only moves one inch. "You left me without a word. I needed you but you weren't there and when I asked you about it, you shut down on me. You promised you'd be there."

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm sorry I'm a coward. I'm sorry I chose to run away just because I thought you didn't feel the same way I did." He inches closer.

"What the hell are you talking about?" My voice quiets down.

I stare down at a group of eavesdropper who scramble away. When I face him back, Brandon is just a breath away from me.

"Brandon, what are you doing?" Everything seems to be happening in slow motion except my heartbeat. His proximity is pulling unfamiliar emotions to the surface – emotions that I wish I could vaporize.

"Please, forgive me." His breath is intoxicating me. "I just wanted what was best for you. I wanted to give you the friendship you deserve and need. I didn't want to complicate things more especially since he didn't seem like you wanted the same thing I did. You weren't the one with whom I was mad. It's me. I'm mad at me for wanting more from you than I should. I thought avoiding you for a while would purge it all out of my system and we could be friends again, just like old times."

My lips dry. "What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that you're still the one and only Rae to me but not like old times. I'm sorry I couldn't say it before. I tried to hold it in but I can't anymore. I love you, Rae. I've always loved you and I won't give up on you. I won't give up on us. I promise."

His hands hold my face together while his eyes hold mine without batting. This one moment seems more intimate than everything I've ever done with a boy. I don't know how to react.

He inches closer and wait as if asking for my permission. Absentmindedly, I nod. The movement is so small that it shocks me that he actually notices it.

My eyes close as his lips settle on mine and everything just stop. The voices, the torments, the anger, they all vanish. Only his lips on mine matter at that moment. Pure bliss, that's the only way it can be described. The carefreeness, the love, and the quiet. It's all so new and magical.

My hands move to his lean hips and hold him to me. I wish we could stay like this forever. I wish my mind could stay like this forever – quiet and happy.

He moves away from me. His loving eyes search mine for a sign I'm not sure I'm capable of giving. However, his smile tells a different story. Whatever he was looking for, he has found it.

"Oh please," Sarah's harsh tone break the magically moment and the world goes back to polluting itself and everything in it. "The boy is obviously playing you. I can't believe you're falling for that. He's just making up excuses and now you've become one of them."

Without analyzing her words, I slap Brandon. It doesn't matter whether what Sarah said is true or not because I know the truth. Brandon Matthews is one selfish son of a bitch.

"You really think I'd fall for that. I know you Brandon and the only person you've ever loved is yourself."

Looking at him, I wonder whether he's even the one I'm yelling at or is it my reflection in his eyes. Either way, I need to get away from him.

I move past him and towards my dad who's sitting in his car trying to act nonchalant but I know he saw everything. He saw how messed I am and I know it's just a matter of time before I'm tossed back inside that crazy hospital.