"What happened to you?" Hailey asks when I show up during recreational time outside. The hot sun burns my skin but all I feel is the coldness of the city gripping my heart.

Probation.

The wind is singing that one word like a victory song. The clouds are smirking at me.

I sit on the bench next to her and the other girls. "I don't want to talk about it," I say.

"Suit yourself," she replies. She turns her attention back to a group of boys playing basketball.

They're mostly scrawny little things with the stamina of a housecat. There are only two of them who look like they can actually play basketball. Hailey is staring at the one who keeps taking off his shirt even though the nurses are constantly telling him to put it back. He's the loudest one of them all. Shouting over any little thing, sprinting for the ball when it's only a few centimeters away from his hands and nobody else is trying to go for it.

The overcompensation is written in every single movement of his body. Only a few minutes in and he's the only one sweating. The only guy who can compete with him is playing in his team.

"He's the only great thing about being locked up in this place," Hailey says as she blows up her bubblegum.

"You like him?" I ask her.

"What's not to like?" She leans her back on the bench and crosses her legs.

"Why is he in here for?" I ignore her trick question.

She sighs when the boy takes off his shirt once more to show off his muscular sun-kissed chest. "Depression."

"Figures," I mutter.

"The perfect match for you," Sarah says. "If the world is lucky, you'd have a double suicide or a murder suicide. Whichever fits your fancy."

"The overcompensation kind of gives it away, doesn't it?" Hailey smirks at me. "Or do you just recognize your kind?"

She laughs at me which prompts the others to give their best fake laughs along with her. From the corner of my eyes, I can see Britney/Maria staring at me. I've caught her doing it many times over the past weeks. She always seems to have something on the tip of her tongue but think better of it.

Whatever it is, it's something Hailey won't like. The more I spend time with that girl the more I think they might be plotting to kill her out of fear. Right now, I could go for a little stress reliever.

"Don't look so mad," Hailey punches my arm. An action she thinks of as affectionate. "I'm just teasing, Rae."

"Don't call me that," I snap at her. The laughter stops immediately and the familiar anger slips into her core.

She lifts her eyebrows, daring me to challenge her. I stand my ground.

Yes, she might kill me before help get to me but what else do I have to lose? Even though I've known for quite a while now that this is the place I'm going to be for the rest of my life, I thought, at least, the people outside would take some pity on me and give me justice. That's the only thing I could hold on to – the thought that somebody believes me and thinks that the people who've hurt me deserves to be punished.

Wrong. My destroyed childhood is only worth probation. They may as well have shouted "Rachel Jackson is not worth our time. Her life is not worth the reputation of somebody important." The probation is just a way to shut me up. I know it. In their mind, I have the justice I've been crying for.

"Oh, he's coming here," Hailey lets her anger slide out. A giddy teenage girl I haven't seen before has taken her place.

I watch the boy move toward us with a way too strong walk. His feet are stomping the ground as if he's trying to assert his power. I don't know who he is so desperate to realize that he's strong – himself, Hailey, or everyone else.

"Hello ladies," he shows us his crooked teeth. I notice the fidgeting of his fingers and the familiar scars rising up his arms.

"Hi, Spencer." Hailey's voice is unrecognizable – high pitch and breathy.

"You must be Rachel," he offers me his hand to shake. I look at it for a second then turn my attention to the rest of the group struggling with the ball. An old man in wheelchair joins them.

"You were really good out there," Hailey says to grab his attention.

"Well, I try," he smiles. He shimmies himself between Hailey and I. She places a hand on his shoulder but he scoots a little bit closer to me.

I want to tell him I'm taken but I'm not. No one has claim me. This realization leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

I turn my body toward him and smile. I focus on his brown eyes, summoning the face of someone else before me. Someone to help me feel a little happy.

"Have you ever played basketball?" Brandon asks me.

My heartbeat picks up. "No, but I'd love to learn."

His lips curls into the familiar smiles he reserves for me only, the one that makes me feel like the Rae he thinks I am.

"I can teach you if you want, Rachel," he leans in closer. His scent is intoxicating, overwhelming me with joy and bliss.

"Rae," I whisper. "It's Rae, remember?"

The blaring of the bell catches my ears. Instead of the brown face that filled me with happiness, the face of Spencer comes to view.

The illusion gone, I hurry away inside. I can feel a particular fiery stare at my back. Although my instinct is to curl away from it, I relish in her fury. It's like old times. I've tricked myself into thinking that something changed but nothing really did. My life has simply been relocated but it's the same old live with everyone's hatred directed at me. Knowing that, now, I have to reestablish my proper position in the food chain like old times.

I catch Britney/Maria and her loyal friend before dinner. Hailey is still in therapy session. Hers is always before dinner.

"I'm in," I tell them as soon as they reach me.

They exchange glance. "In what?"

"Whatever it is you guys are trying to plan against Hailey," I reply. "It's obvious neither of you like her."

"No one likes her," she specifies. "But she can kill us. She has a pocketknife on her at all times. The nurses don't know."

"Okay, let's tell them."

The other girl's head shoots up. "Are you kidding? She'll kill us." Her head goes back down as quickly as it got up.

"She can't kill us," I shake my head at the absurdity of their fear. Yes, Hailey is intense but she's not a murderer. "Just tell me what you wanted to do."

"Nothing really," she looks behind her shoulders. Many patients are filing inside the dining room. Hailey is not yet in sight. "She obviously likes you a lot. And you are kind of like her."

"I'm nothing like Hailey," I snap knowing full well they are right.

"They want you to take her place," Sarah says before Britney/Maria can finish her thoughts.

She fidgets with her feet, looking around like the little clown fish hiding from the shark in plain sight.

"It's obvious," Sarah continues. "The little lost souls want a new queen bee."

"I cannot take Hailey's place," I tell them.

"Yes, you can," Sarah says. "It's the proper place you're seeking. You'd have your loyal little Cassie times two to follow you around. It'll be just like old times."

"Why would you want to replace Hailey with someone just like her?" I ask them. "If you don't like her, stop following her around."

"You think we want to follow her around?" She murmurs. "She told us to. She selected us as her followers and we can't leave her. She broke the last girl's legs. She was put in confinement for months with heavy sedation. She came out angrier."

"So your best solution is to switch queen bee instead of just, you know, tell somebody."

"You never told," she accuses me.

I fall in line with the crowd. I contemplate the proposition. It's the opportunity I want to make this place like my high school. It'll be like I never left so why am I hesitating?

"It's what you need," Sarah coos. "It's for the best, baby girl."

I take my plate. My eyes catch Hailey in line, a couple of people behind us.

"If I accept, who's to say she won't do anything to any of us?" I ask them. "Like you said, she's crazy."

"She's scared of you."

I laugh at this.

"It's true. Sam used to tell us about all your stories of when you were in middle school."

"Who's Sam?"

She furrows her eyebrows at my question. "She's Sam," she nods at the girl with her head down.

"I knew you in middle school?"

"We went to the same school," she looks at me for a second and goes back to her usual position.

I rack my brain for a memory of her but I know it's useless. My world revolved around me, myself, and I back then.

"It still does," Kenny remarks.

"She's scared of me," I smile as I watch Hailey make her way to us. "That could be good."

"Hi Hailey," I smile up at her.

"I like it better when you're in a bad mood," she says. Before taking a bite out of her lasagna she says, "Spencer is mine."

"Who's Spencer?"

"The boy you were flirting with yesterday," she pounds her fists on the table. "He's mine."

I refrain from rolling my eyes. The boy is not even that cute.

Between my fingers, I twirl a fork with a piece of zucchini at the end of it. "I don't see it written anywhere on him."

She watches me carefully then the laughter erupts from her. "Honey, you can't handle my wrath."

"Can you handle mine?" I tease.

"Is this a joke?"

Britney/Maria and Sam moves away from us a little but their body language betrays their interest in the conversation. The other people have move on to another table as soon as they could feel the deviance in the atmosphere between us. There's a nurse a couple of seats away who is keeping a watchful eye on us. She's the one in charge of Hailey.

"Rachel, if I was you, I would watch what I say," she warns. "You no longer have your almighty stepfather to bribe people for you. Even if you did, you wouldn't live long enough for him to do it."

"At least I had someone once," I say. "How's mommy doing these days?"

The plastic fork bends in her hands. The muscles around her eyes tighten to the point of causing wrinkles. "I could ask you the same question." She put her index finger on the side of her mouth, imitating a pensive appearance. "Oh wait, you don't know either."

"How are you girls doing?" Hailey's nurse, whose name tag says Diana, comes up behind us. Her lips are pulled back into a warm smile while her eyes stay hard with a warning. "How was your meeting with Dr. Harris, Hailey?"

"Fine," she goes back to her food. I hide my smile behind my cascading hair.

"Good, eat up quickly. It's almost time for your meds."

Nurse Hugo is seating at a table straight ahead of me. He turns his attention to me when he notices nurse Diana talking to us then he returns to Suzanna. She's stealthily stuffing her pants' pockets with food.

"You think you're better than me?" Hailey asked as soon as the nurse moves away. "We're both stuck in here with no one waiting for us outside those walls. All we have is our bitterness to keep us warm at night."

"I have something more," I grin at her. My eyes fall on Spencer eating at the back of the room. His voice is the loudest in the group.

"Keep dreaming," Hailey says.

"I don't need to dream," I hold her gaze. "He likes me better than you. So does your precious little friends." I nod toward the only two girls still sitting at our table.

Britney/Maria drops her head down to join her friend in shame but she doesn't deny it.

"You what?" She yells through tight teeth to not draw any nurse's attention.

"Rachel doesn't threaten to kill us over any little thing," Sam says shakenly.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" I lift up my chin in pride. "We may be equally overlooked outside this place. However, inside, They all like me better than you. They all choose me over you."

I wipe my mouth with a napkin.

Hailey stays frozen in the same position. She reminds me of the wind gathering as much force as possible before blowing out the storm. I don't think I want to be here when the storm breaks out. I stand up, taking an apple from her plate in the process.

"Don't worry, honey. A place can't have two queens, that's the way the world works."

The girls stand up, too. They probably notice the twitchy eye she's giving us.

I'm almost out of the danger zone when someone tackles me and my face is suddenly on the cold floor. Blows after blows are covering my body. I quickly move my hands to block them and accidently hit her in the face. Her momentary stop allows me time to get my balance and grip her hair.

I've never been one for physical fights. They're dirty and barbaric. Now, however, it feels relieving to have my skin singing in pain. Having someone physically hurting because of me gratifies me beyond believe. In every punch and kick, I pour my hatred and disappointment in the justice system of this society.

I feel a couple of hands grab me from behind. They pull me away from her. I try to untangle myself from them but the hands are tight around me.

There's the sting of the needle on my arm. Little by little my heartbeat slows down involuntarily. Facing me, Hailey is as daze as me. The tiny specs of blood above her eyebrow cause an unusual tingle inside me.

I know how to cause emotional and psychological pain but physical pain is a whole new territory for me. I'm not scared to venture there, though. I want to feel someone suffer by my hand like I'm suffering by theirs.

I let them all take over me – the hatred, the disappointment, the worthlessness. They are so much better than every other feeling. How could have I ever let them go for one second?

The last thought that fills my mind as I slip into darkness is I'm the queen, again.