I should really start being nicer to people. Perhaps then they will stop to listening to me but there are no guarantees in that. Being nice is just so darn hard. There's smiling to people I can't stand, listening to problems I don't care about, and the burden to have to help out.

I wish people would get over it and don't bother with me. It's pretty obvious they are not listening to me so why would I listen to them? Most have gotten that memo except that little brunette going on and on about her stupid boyfriend.

After three days in a hospital, Cassie, like usual, is the first one to show up to see how I'm doing. I swear if I had a heart, I would have given it all to that girl. But I don't. All I have is a messed up brain.

"You should have been there, Rachel." Cassie's bubbly attitude is suffocating me in the small little apartment. She's happier and gigglier ever since she came back from her first date with that boy Tommy. This the fifteenth time I'm listening to the detailed narration of that night.

Whatever way I look at that relationship, it's still all kind of wrong to me. They went to a fast food restaurant for their first date, how many other warning signs does she need?

"He was sooooo amazing," Cassie sighs gleefully. "The food was kind of disgusting and extremely greasy but...ugh, it doesn't matter. And the goodnight kiss was –" she squeals like a dying dolphin.

A knock come to the door, follow by Jenny's head peaking in. "Hi Ladies, having fun?"

Depends on how you define fun.

Cassie waves at her. "Yes, I'm just catching Rachel up on what we did in school when she was gone."

You've got to be kidding me. Gone? That's all. They all talk about it like I had some cough and had to take some days off. It's not like I tried to kill myself. Who gives a crap?

"Then why aren't there any books near you?" Jenny smirks.

Amateur.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to bite," she says when Cassie's face turns so red that I fear it's about to pop and splash blood all over my room.

That's a sure way to make her shut up about Tommy.

"I'm just making a quick stop before I head to work. There are leftovers in the fridge if you girls feel hungry."

Her eyes barely reach me as she talks.

"Thanks Jenny."

"Good morning Jenny," I bring her attention to me.

"Good morning Rachel," she greets back with a resigned smile before retreating back.

"Where were we?" Cassie flops down on the bed, her brown locks taking over my bed. "Did I tell you about the goodnight kiss already?"

"Yes, multiple times," I grit out under my breath. "I need to use the bathroom," I get off the bed and I leave the room without another word.

That girl frustrates me on so many levels but I know I can't afford to lose her. She's annoying but at least she doesn't sink me down with blame like everybody else is doing. She's always there, happy and full of life. The total opposite of me.

Inside the bathroom, I wash my face with cold water. I wipe my face with a towel then just stand there – watching the disgusting face looking at me.

I look exactly the same, glowing dark skin, brown eyes, and deep black hair that falls down my back. On the outside, I'm still the girl living large. The persona I had adapted for the world continues to live on. But if anyone would venture closer, they would see a whole new world inside of my eyes – new pain, conflicts, hopes, and fear.

I want people to think I'm brave but I think nobody's fooled which is why I hate myself so much. They all can see how scared I am and that scares me even more. I don't want to be just a scared little girl running away from a troubled home. I don't want to be that bitchy girl with a damaged background.

I want to be brave, happy, and loved. Everything Cassie is but I'll never be.

I lean forward on the mirror. With my eyes closed, I attempt to dream of an alternate world where I'm not such a coward. A place where I don't have to be so mean all the time. A place where I don't have to slit my wrist to make someone listen.

They don't get me. They never will. The only people who get me are inside my head and they want to kill me. No wonder I'm so messed up.

"Rachel?" I hear Cassie calling behind the door, her voice laced with worry.

"Yes, Cassie," I snap as I wipe a tear out the corner of my eye. I hate being so vulnerable to feelings. I hate being caught while I'm being so vulnerable.

"Pathetic," Sarah whispers.

They just won't ever take a day off.

"What do you want Cassie?" I ask when she doesn't answer.

"Nothing really," she stops but I know there's more to follow. "It's just... well... it's... you've been in there for quite some times now."

I roll my eyes at her but my heart jumps a little that someone still cares.

"I'm not killing myself if that's what you think."

"I didn't say that. I just...Jenny kind of told me not to let you out of my sight for too..."

I open the door before she finishes. "I'm fine." I unroll the sleeves of my white T-shirt – back to the long sleeves era. "See, no cuts. No pills. Now would you please leave me alone for five minutes?"

I shut the door in her face, with her mouth wide open. I slide down the door, my eyes closed and my fists aching to break something – most likely me for being such an asshole to the sweetest girl in the world. Her concern just irritates me sometimes. I can't help it.

When I finally open my eyes, something behind the trash can catches my eyes. It's a small box that hadn't been there this morning. I get off the floor to investigate – anything to get my mind off my attitude.

Pregnancy test? It's a freaking pregnancy test. Why is there a pregnancy test in my dad's bathroom floor? Why is there a freaking stupid positive pregnancy test on our bathroom floor?

All of a sudden, it's not me I want to kill anymore. It's her. All these times she acted like she wanted to help me but instead she was just squirming her way in my family.

"That bitch!" I groan before opening the door and stomp to my dad's bedroom. Hopefully she's still there or I'm going to break this house down.

How could she? I barely allowed her in my family, now she's taking over. She's not trying to help me, she's trying to replace me like they all do. First mom, now her too?

Oh hell no! Over my dead body that we're going to have another baby in here.

He's my daddy. Mine! Mine! And mine alone. I don't care how much he hates me. I don't care how bad I hurt him. I'm not going to let her replace me.

I throw the bedroom door open without knocking.

"What the hell Rachel?" screams a half clothed Jenny.

"What the hell is this?" I throw the pregnancy test at her. It hits her right in the face.

God, how I wish it was a brick so she could have died right there.

"If you think you're going to replace me, you have another thought coming. He's my daddy and he can't be anyone else's. He can't be. You cannot replace me."

"Punch her, Rachel," Kenny cheers. "Make her pay for everything she's done."

I groan. I want to punch something so bad.

"Calm down Rachel," she puts the box down. "Let's talk about this. No one is going to replace you."

"Right." I can't stay still. I can't think straight. The rage is blinding me and the scariest thing is I don't think I want to see clearly.

"Is that baby going to get rid of itself?"

Jenny backs up a little, her face darkens. "I'm not going to kill my baby to make you feel better. I want to h..."

I jump forward, scaring the both of us. "Don't you dare say help. You've never helped. All you did is break me further apart. You broke my family apart. You're even worse than Steven. At least he had the dignity to not act like he cares."

She touches my face, her hands gentle. "Rachel, I'm sorry this is happening right now but it's not what you think. Neither your father nor I will ever replace you. I swear."

"I hate you," I push her away from me. "I wish you and your baby would just die already. I'm not going to let you replace me. If it's war you want, you got it."

I run out of the room, push Cassie out of my way, and flee out of the apartment.

"Told you," Sarah and Kenny sing in my head.

I can't believe it. She's replacing me. They're all replacing me. I have no one now. I have no hope. I'm all alone.

If I was afraid before, now I'm scared out of my mind.

Why am I still alive? Why haven't I killed myself yet?

The title of the next chapter is Mommy Dearest. Can you guess what's going to happen?