Two hours passed and the first period was finally over. I could hear the other members of my class complaining about how those two hours felt like five or four. Such simple things they get to complain about. For me, it felt not enough time passed at all. Young age I was taught that my life could end at any given moment, at any single time. Stuff like this, felt far too short when you have that single fact screaming in the back of your head. Another reason why I no longer hold myself really back. I live life instead of doing stuff to hideaway.

Doing exactly what the doctors tell me would give me a life full of regret. I didn't want that. I didn't want to have a regretful life my father had. I was going to live in the moment. I never knew what my future could bring. I also knew that at times if I pushed myself too much, it would shorten my life but at times...I couldn't help myself. I hated the backlash of such things but I couldn't help myself. I just...I just wanted to do things so badly...I was willing to suffer that backlash, I was willing to shorten my life.

I didn't want to have that horrid feeling my father did on his death-bed. The regret. The self-hate. The self-pity and blame. I promised myself and my own mother I wouldn't do such a thing. I promised her once I hit high school. That was when I understood what any of those feelings of regret, self-hate and blame really felt like. It was why I decided to give such a promise. Though I knew not everyone would understand unless they went through it. It made it hard to explain to Mirajane. She saw my backlashes. 

She would cry and yell at me every single time I pushed myself too far. She didn't want me to die an early death, I understood that but she always struggled to understand if I didn't do that every so often...I wouldn't be living...if I didn't do stuff like that...I wouldn't have fun or a life...I would be some sick damsel in distress, that stayed locked up in her bedroom doing nothing but regretting life. She couldn't understand that. I knew she couldn't so I gave up trying to explain it to her a long time ago. People claim to understand but there is a sad fact of life...

No one truly understands, not even doctors, not until they went through the exact same thing themselves. I grew up learning this the hard way. It really sucked and filled you with rage each time a single person claimed to understand when the real truth was still there. They didn't. They didn't understand or truly knew a single thing. The likely hood that someone suffers from the exact same illness as you...it isn't very high when it came to my type of illness. Invisible illnesses, it was hard to meet anyone who understood you.

Mental health-wise was very different. I've met many and I mean many people who understood and stood with me through that health issue. Myalgic Encephalomyelitis forced depression and anxiety onto your body but the physical and real life-threatening parts of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis was something no one related to. I've only known my father when comes to other people sharing Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. Bothersome isn't it? A sad and a depressing fact of life but that was just how unfair it was.

Everyone and I mean everyone has ups and downs in life. Some people suffered more than others but don't mean that no one suffers. I knew everyone in little or large ways suffered. It would always be hard to see or know most people. We learn to place a smile on our face, fake laughs and jokes based on dark humour, based on how and what we really felt deep down inside. Made it hard for people to call out for help. In ways, they lie about their true feelings through jokes and fake laughs. 

It was always hard, to tell the truth, to really speak up about it, when you've always lied about it. Something you learn the hard way when becoming ill at a young age. Sounds super depressing in that sense but with all the bad in someone's life, there is always good. No matter how rare those diamonds of joy, light and true/real smiles were in the endless sea of life, struggle and hardship. It just meant those diamonds, those moments, will be far more precious. Millianna had given me back the textbook, thanking me and calling me her "saviour".

She was always like that when I let her use something. I had gotten used to it. I had packed up everything into my bag, forgetting to take off my reading glasses. I just left them on. I was meant to wear them all the time but I only really needed them to read or look at computer monitors. I hated the idea of showing even the smallest bit of my illness to anyone. Even to Mirajane. Though she's seen me at my worse I still hated it. I hated the idea of showing how weak I was. I utterly despise the thought of it.

I was meant to always have a walking stick with me to ensure I don't lose all function within my legs. A nineteen year, using a walking stick. A walking stick. I would've been stared at with disrespectful eyes. Many people throughout my life never believed I was really ill. People not believing in invisible illnesses. To them, if you weren't in a wheelchair you wasn't "truly ill". The bastards who thought like that were many. It would shock people just how many did think that way. It was sad, stressful and struggle dealing with people like that.

I headed through the hallways that slowly filled up with the college students, loudly cheering for the freedom of our ten-minute break. I always got confused. Another difference between normal kids and those who've been sick since a young age. The ten-minute break wasn't really much nor was a break between classes something to cheer or be very excited about. You would prefer to be in the class longer, doing whatever you can to keep your mind busy. Enjoying the freedom of a doctors office, hospital or even the house you'd be stuck in.

Being ill meant not going out a much as normal people. It was rare for me to leave the house if it wasn't for college or doctors related. Any other time never really happened. Mirajane was the only one who understood I couldn't do normal things everyone else dose. Walking a small hill to go shopping, to eat or just to go home would put me in hospital for a week. Walking up or even downhills would be so painful for me I could end up in a wheelchair. Trying to explain that to someone who doesn't know or understand about illnesses...was hard.

They would look at you as if you were lying or some freak. They would even question if it was just you being lazy. It made it even more off-putting to ever leave your own home or to bother with making any real friends. Thus sadly this was my normal everyday life. Since I was the age of five or six. That was when I noticed people who acted that way. You wouldn't believe how many parents and children of your own age group believed that stuff. Believing if you weren't in a wheelchair or seen so badly ill you could die, it meant you somehow weren't really sick. 

Sad, small-minded twats. That was what they were. I've run into people like that my whole life. No matter what I do, I'm stuck with those idiots around because it's only one out of ten chance there is someone who isn't like that. Oh, how I wish there was more awareness for invisible illnesses so people wouldn't be utter twats. I was walking straight to the next classroom, this one is a rare occurrence sharing room. My class was to share a computer room with another class. It was a rare thing to happen but it did at times.

We were using the mac computers which were rare in the current campus building we were in. I didn't really pay attention to what class we were sharing with. I only pay attention to the room number. I only cared about college work, getting it done with, doing my best to get the best grade. It was all that mattered to me here. I never bothered caring for making real friends. I gave up on that type of thing a long time ago. "Erza wait up!" I heard a female voice of someone from my class. Someone I rarely really spoke to. 

I turned my head to see Meredy Milkovich a girl who normally kept to herself in class. She was also in my psychology class last year. She was much like me in the sense of keeping to herself. She was at the very back of the room, sitting in the corner writing notes and answering group questions. I was very much the same but sat at the very front of the class. Her baby pink hair reached down to the middle of her back, it was quite wavy and always had some type of headband in. Today she was wearing a dark brown one.

She was wearing a short red dress with golden trims, that held a deep neckline which showed off her large ample cleavage, a plan yellow belt that matched the trimmings around her waist. Under the dress were black leggings and knee-high black combat books. She had a deep blue messenger bag bouncing on her right hip, the strap wrapped around her body, resting weight on her left shoulder. Meredy and I were the ones who always tried answering questions our tutors would throw at the class from time to time. 

It was though weird to see her starting a conversation. She was like me to the point we never really bothered doing that type of stuff. It made me look less like a weirdo in our class. "I'm embarrassed to admit this but I have no clue where the computer room is, could I come with you?" Meredy soon asked, sounding slightly shy and very embarrassed. The room was M7.12 the very far end room of the seventh floor of the building we were in. I was able to just barely remember Meredy got easily lost last year here as well. 

I and remembering never were the best combination. Myalgic Encephalomyelitis did affect the memory banks in the brain after all. I gave a smile, I was just so used to faking them. Even to Mirajane, I faked most smiles just out of reflex. "That's fine. I'm heading there now if you needed to stop at the toilet or anything" I gave a normal friendly reply. I never tried to get on anyone's bad side. I hated the idea of upsetting people but I wasn't scared to say what I really felt about someone to their face. 

Long ago, back when I first got ill I would let people walk all over me. Believe it or not. People would walk right over me, using me and hurting me in not just physical ways but mentally. It was only after high school, just over three years ago, almost four, that I stopped bothering with it. I show respect to you as long as you do to me. If you're a cunt toward me I shall be the same toward you. I've just gotten fed up and done with those people who would fake or be two-faced just so they have people around them or get what they want.

It took me a long time to figure that out but it made my life so much better. I wished I didn't care about making friends or being in groups while in high school. I could've focused on my grades and had a much happier life. "That's fine. I don't need to do anything of the sort. I prefer getting straight to the classroom incase I become late" Meredy replied getting me to reply with a single word that was very true. "Same". I was very much the same. The first and second period only have a ten-minute gap.

After the second one, you would have a thirty-minute gap which was enough time for the toilet, drink or something small to eat. After the third and fourth period was an hour-long break, of course, they had a ten-minute break between them like the first and second, then after the fifth period was either some clubs, hanging out or going home. I had a kendo club on Tuesdays and Thursdays but normally I would go home or hang with Mirajane. Though hanging out meant her house or mine still. Being ill did restrict you in some ways. 

No matter how much you tried fighting it. There will always be things you can't do because there was either not enough people who care to support you going somewhere or you're having a flare-up/bad day. I ended up leading the way for both myself and Meredy. We were both very quiet but that was something that I would end up doing. We went through the staircase at the very far end of the hallway, going up two flights to enter the next floor of the building. The hallways in the main building were very wide, you could fit a meeting table and chairs in them.

I was somewhat glad to not be in a building with narrow hallways. Many people sat outside their next class, I was definitely one of them. Getting closer to the mac room I could hear my best friend's voice. "I will throw you out this window!" Mirajane's voice echoing down the hallway getting me to look up and pay attention. She was standing opposite the door Meredy and I was going to. I noticed standing in front of her with a wide smirk was someone from our high school years, Evergreen Eyes. My old high school bully.

She had long, curly, light brown hair that helped her dark brown eyes stand out from her oval glasses. She was wearing a revealing green dress with vines and flower patterns on it along with purple heels. A small pink messenger bag resting on her side, just barely hanging on since she was wearing the strap right upwards, being on the same side as the bag itself. "Bothersome" Meredy and I both whispered at the exact same time. It got both of us to look at each other and smile. Meredy felt like someone I could relate to.

We walked sadly closer to the scene, getting me to point the door to Meredy. She thanked me but soon as my name was spoken, Evergreen's eyes moved from Mirajane to myself. "Erza Scarlet" she spoke with pure venom spitting from her mouth. I felt uncomfortable already. She was just an unsettling person. Her face showed pure disgust getting Mirajane to move and stand in front of me. She was easily upset with Evergreen's tone. "I swear to the damn gods I will make the rest of your college life living hell if you dare try anything" Mirajane snapped. 

Everyone was looking this way, even Meredy. My face could easily be shown that the scene was just making me uncomfortable. "Why try defending some bitch who claims to have disabilities?" Evergreen then snapped loudly causing me to freeze slightly in place. She was still like this? She would use those exact same words in high school but that was years ago. I had hoped that we were older. "She isn't faking her issues you damn whore. Just because she fought her way out of a wheelchair doesn't mean she isn't damn cured!" Mirajane almost shouted, the rage in her voice growing with each word she said.

Meredy's eyes had widened while staring at me. "Mira" I whispered harshly, reminding her that I didn't want my life to be broadcasted around the college. Mirajane froze up for a single second before turning around to face me. Giving off a loud and regretful 'sorry' before rubbing the back of her neck. "I forgot about attention issues" Mirajane whispered causing me to give out a small sigh. Once you started Mirajane off, it was very hard to calm her down or stop her. I was just lucky she hadn't exploded and attacked Evergreen yet.

There wasn't any need to waste our time or effort on people like her. "Cured? She's never been ill Mirajane! I've never seen her once in a wheelchair as you claim, so you see her using a walking stick or having a college TSA following her around?" Evergreen replied while the whole hallway was extremely quiet. Everyone was watching in disbelief or with judging eyes. I felt my anxiety building up deep down inside me. Mirajane's face only showed how upset she became. She turned her head glaring at the twat in front of us. 

But someone beat her to it. "SHUT IT YOU, IDIOT! Not all illnesses are something you see easily, scum like you are the reason people suffer in secret, why people never get the help they need and deserve! Your ugly personality is of such disgrace you should just do everyone a favour and go die in a hole!" Meredy had shouted, ranting at the top of her voice getting me to stand there in full shock. Mirajane was looking at the pink-haired girl like she was a walking idol or celebrity that had just appeared.

"How dare you!" Evergreen's hands clutched into fists, she looked ready to even possibly throw a punch. Mirajane and Meredy weren't backing down both glaring at the girl in front of us. I didn't even notice but Meredy had been standing in front of me, her arm making sure I stayed right behind her. "How dare she? I believe your true colours are the real issue at hand, Evergreen Eyes" a male voice spoke behind her. Evergreen's face had gone completely pale, she turned around fast showing someone I didn't really recognise. 

He had messy blue hair and light turquoise eyes but what really stood out was a red tattoo that from the top to the bottom of his right eye. He was wearing a white but slightly blue-tinted shirt under a dark blue hooded jacket with a prominent golden symbol on the left part of the chest, and lastly wore simple loose dark pants tucked inside laced boots. "Y-your siding with them?" Evergreen spoke with a stutter. She was scared of someone? That wasn't normal. She never cared who she upset before. 

She had always seen herself as some queen that could walk over anyone she wanted. "How about you listen to my best friend Meredy's advise, long as you have that hideous personality please very kindly drop off the face of the earth" he then spoke getting Evergreen's eyes to begin watering. She ended up running off past myself and Mirajane. I somewhat felt bad for her while Mirajane was giving off a rude remark of how happy she was to see her get a piece of karma.