Meredy and I didn't stop talking once the whole lesson until the very end. Even then we didn't notice the tutor mention break was over. Mirajane finally had forced our attention, telling the two of us about the break. She had her trouble-making smile on her face, looking at the two of us. That chill that would go down my spine had returned. She was always planning something. It was bothersome at times but we did normally make good memories from it. "You two should hang out more" Mirajane sang, her eyes glued on me.

I felt a sweat droplet build-up, I was checking that I had put everything back into my bag. "Come on Erza, this is a rare chance for you to finally make a friend who isn't me!" Mirajane started pleading, hugging my arm tightly. I felt the sweat droplet fall down my face slightly, I knew that I wasn't going to get out of this easy. There was another reason I didn't want to get too close to people. I was bullied and have anxiety is a large reason but...I'm going to die an early death. That is just how it will be, no matter what I do.

What was the point in getting close to people? I would only cause pain later on down the line. "Mira, are you forgetting the issue I have?" I whispered harshly to her. I could tell by her smiling face. She wasn't going to give up on this. Meredy soon jumped in saying she wanted to hang out much more. She wasn't helping my side at all. Mirajane's grip on my arm only tightened. Her smile soon turned into a smirk. She knew she had me backed in a corner. "See, a friendship born this day!" Mirajane spoke in a 'sing-song' tone of voice.

I hated her sometimes. "You gotta stop being scared to open up to people Erza. Not everyone is like Evergreen" Mirajane spoke before she finally freed me. She moved onto her feet, grabbing her bag. I noticed her computer was already logged out. I was just doing that now. Mirajane never likes the main issue I didn't want to open up. The bullying of Evergreen wasn't the only issues. Mirajane refuses to bring up the fact that someday I will die. It could happen today, tomorrow, next week...at any moment. 

"You know that isn't the whole reason" I whispered slightly annoyed, knowing she wasn't listening to me. She demanded we meet at lunch, the hour break, before leaving the room. Meredy had a smile on her face, asking what was Mirajane not mentioning. "It's...hard to talk about" I answered feeling my face go slightly cold at the thought. Meredy looked at me slightly worried but then got up, smiling at me brightly. "Now I'm determined. We're gonna be best friends this day forward like it or not" she spoke with a wink. 

I felt another sweat droplet start building up. I hated the idea of being a burden on others. It's why I didn't want to make friends for them to suffer at the end of the day. "You remind me of Mira right now" I soon spoke a slight smile on my face as I stood up. Meredy gave off a giggle walking to stand next to me, linking her arm with mine. It felt odd doing this with someone who wasn't Mirajane at first. It really did. "Come find us at lunch Jellal!" Meredy announced before dragging me out the room, not giving her friend a chance to reply.

I was in shock and was unable to stop the movements. We were heading back down to our normal classroom, M6.10. Meredy ended up starting off a conversation just like we did in class. Somehow I couldn't help but smile, replying to her. The two of us getting along and getting to know each's history a little better. We had very similar stories from when we were both little. It was nice. I loved talking to someone who understood me better but...I wasn't sure if it was possible to make friends without them suffering or being held back because of me.

There wasn't likely a possible way. While talking to Meredy, those thoughts were put at the back of my mind. Like normal our tutor left the room unlocked. They knew people like me and Meredy came back to the room to start work early. Meredy ended up sitting right next to me at the front. The two of us didn't really notice much at first, it just felt natural to sit with each other somehow. Once and awhile through our talking, we would exchange notes and thoughts about the lesson about to come. Our notes and theories were almost exactly the same. 

It was quite nice when I think about it. Having someone to talk to like this in class. "Oh, we should hang out after college!" Meredy spoke with a light in her eyes. I soon informed her I was part of the Kendo Club getting her eyes to widen slightly. She then asked how I was able to do such a thing. I rubbed the back of my neck. "Promise not to repeat a single thing to Mirajane?" I then asked, somewhat in a begging tone. Meredy soon nodded, from our talks she understood the feeling of wanting to hide everything.

"I barely do it. My doctors always yell at me and sometimes it makes it all so much worse. I push myself to my limit doing it but I enjoy it too much to stop. The doctors and that know it is pushing me to...a worse stage of my illness but I would regret my whole life if I stopped" I answered almost with the full truth. A worse stage of my illness was the only thing that wasn't 100% true. The real truth was...it was pushing me to an early grave. I-I wasn't sure why but I always felt uneasy talking about that.

Talking about how I was heading to an early death with this illness, if I liked it or not. If I found a more proper reason to fight my illness and someone to help balance my life, it wouldn't be such an early death but the likely-hood that was possible. Someone to help balance meant someone being with me for life, someone who stands by me without caring about the burden I would place onto them. As if someone would be willing to be a carer their whole life. "Eh?!? You're so cool!" Meredy spoke with a bright light in her eyes.

I ended up being confused with her statement, the confusion must've shown on my face. "My older sister always tells me to not allow myself to make regrets, that pushing the limit sometimes could be better but I always get too scared. The pain it causes...when it gets worse...I...well it can just get that bad..." Meredy then explained, rubbing the back of her neck. I understood what she meant at the end. Everything getting so bad it could put you in the hospital or worse. I knew she meant that.

That is what happened every time I pushed myself. When I pushed my limit twice a week. My doctors really hated me doing so. The two of us just kept talking until the third period began but even then we kept talking all the way until the end of fourth period. Everyone in our class was in pure shock the two most quiet people were at the front of the room, talking and giggling loudly. Even our tutor was in pure shock to have to tell us to keep quiet every so often. I bet Mirajane wouldn't believe that I would've gotten told off by a tutor.