*

Baekhyun still hasn't talked to him.

Chanyeol didn't stop the car--- he might not have heard and seen him, and Baekhyun didn't have the courage to chase him so he just let him go.

Baekhyun's legs are wobbly and exhausted from walking and running all day. He feels so restless, like he just wants to sleep and forget everything. Turning the doorknob of his apartment and realizing it isn't locked, Baekhyun decides Sehun must be home.

He toes off his shoes, flicks on the switch, and heads to his room to change into a hoodie and pants. Just as he goes out of the room and is about to sit on the couch, he spots Sehun standing beside the counter--- wrapping a handkerchief around his right hand.

Baekhyun watches.

"You're home."

"I'm sorry."

"It's quite late," Sehun says, looking at the wallclock displaying 6:45 PM. "Where have you been?"

"I went to Chanyeol-sunbae's university."

Sighing, Sehun removes the handkerchief, reaching instead for the medicine kit inside the cupboard. He opens it and finds a spare bandaid to cover his fresh wound.

"Have you talked to him?"

"I couldn't see him. He already went home," Baekhyun answers. "What happened to your hand?"

"Oh, this," Sehun hides his hand behind his back, "It's nothing."

"Let me see."

"No, you don't have to. It's just a scratch," Sehun lies as he tears his gaze away.

Baekhyun goes to him and takes his hand, inspecting it carefully under the lime light of their kitchen. Sehun's knuckles are wounded and red while his fingers are slightly bent. Baekhyun runs his thumb between the spaces of Sehun's fingers, and gently presses his palm. It makes Sehun wince and flinch slightly because of pain.

"Does it hurt?"

"No--"

Baekhyun presses harder.

"Ah, fuck!" Sehun hisses. "Don't do that."

"Did you punch a wall or something?" Baekhyun asks, getting a cotton swab and dipping it in the wound cream. "What happened?"

"It's fine," Sehun mutters, trying to pull back his hand but Baekhyun never lets go, "I just got into a small accident."

Baekhyun dabs antiseptic on the wound before applying the wound cream on the affected area. Sehun stays still and keeps quiet, as he stares at Baekhyun's pretty hands tending his wound.

He can't help but smile.

"You got into a fight, didn't you?" Baekhyun says.

"I just had to punch him on the face," Sehun says, watching intently as Baekhyun wounds the bandage around his knuckles securely. "He's a fucking traitor. The two of them."

Baekhyun is taken a back.

"Who... are they?"

"Taewoo and Jisoo," Sehun replies, "They were our friends. I trusted them as a part of the Student Council. I never thought they would do that behind my back."

"I'm sorry..."

"What are you apologizing for?" Sehun asks, "It's not your fault, Baekhyun. It's all their fault. I'll make sure to clean your name."

"If it wasn't because of me, this wouldn't happen," Baekhyun mumbles, "I only cause trouble to people, especially to you..."

"I know right?" Sehun says with a laugh, and it shocks Baekhyun a little.

"You only cause me trouble. So maybe you should really leave me alone."

Baekhyun has this look of disbelief on his face.

"You're joking, right?"

"No, I'm serious," Sehun says. He withdraws his hand when the bandage was finished, "You're a nuisance."

"I am?"

"Yeah. I can't put up with you anymore."

"Sehun, you didn't mean that."

Sehun sighs.

"What I'm exactly saying is, you should better move out of this place. Live with Chanyeol and don't mind me."

"Sehun..."

"He can take care of you well. He has a big house, he has a car, he has everything you need," Sehun says and it fucking hurts so much, "You don't need to worry about food, nor taking the bus when going to school."

"But Sehun..."

"And of course," Sehun adds, "He loves you."

Baekhyun internally blushes.

"That bastard may not say it out loud, but I know he doesn't want to lose you. So you should go to him and talk to him before it's too late. Tell him you want to be with him and not me."

"W-why are you telling me this," Baekhyun mutters under his breath, "I-I'm getting scared of you, seriously."

"Look, I love you but I don't wanna keep you forever," Sehun says. "I also have a life on my own and it doesn't always revolve around you. You fool."

"It hurts, you know," Baekhyun pouts, "Don't say that!"

Sehun shows his left hand, clenching it into a fist.

"See this? I can still use my left fist to punch you on the face if you still don't move," Sehun threats making Baekhyun step back, "Go."

"W-where?"

"Go to Park Chanyeol, you idiot," Sehun says, "Do you want me to push you out of the door or do you want me to hit you with this?"

Baekhyun shakes his head furiously when he sees the rolled magazine aimed at him.

"Chanyeol must be already home at this hour," Sehun says, "Leave before I change my mind and decide to lock you here for myself."

"Y-you're really scaring me when you're being like this," Baekhyun says as he steps back, "Fine. I'll go, just. Just don't talk like that."

"Good," Sehun drops the magazine and turns around for Baekhyun not to see his face. "Take care of yourself and don't let him hit you or something."

Baekhyun suddenly feels nervous.

He can't promise Sehun that.

"Fine. I won't."

Sehun busies himself returning the medicine kit inside the cupboard as he hears Baekhyun shuffling. He must be wearing his coat and shoes.

"Bye, I'm going now," Baekhyun says as he goes out of the door, "I'll call you later!"

Sehun turns around when Baekhyun is gone, seeing the apartment now empty, dull and lifeless. He smiles to himself a little as he whispers:

"I should get used to this soon."

*

Baekhyun jumps, tipping his toes up as he cranes his neck high as if he could see Chanyeol inside his house. He tried pressing the doorbell several times, even knocking on the gates and calling Chanyeol's name the neighbors could get pissed off.

Yet Chanyeol still won't come out.

"Isn't he home right now?"

Looking around, Baekhyun calls Chanyeol's number for the sixth time in a row. The female automated voice saying This number cannot be reached makes Baekhyun want to already give up and go home, but thinking about Chanyeol also makes him want to stay longer.

"Chanyeol-sunbae!" Baekhyun shouts out loud. "I'm here outside! Please open the door and talk to me! PLEASE HEAR ME OUT!!!"

No answer.

"I know you are angry with me for what I did! I am so sorry!" Baekhyun yells loud, and passersby start to throw him weird, judging stares, "Go ahead and punish me! I am willing to accept it all!"

Still no answer.

"Chanyeol-sunbae... I'm so sorry... But please don't leave me... Don't leave me alone like this. Come out now..."

Baekhyun leans his forehead against the wall outside of Chanyeol's house and bangs his head repeatedly. He's just so frustrated and furious with himself for the troubles he has caused, and he simply just wants to see Chanyeol now and receive his punishment to get this over with.

Remembering his frightening nightmare, Baekhyun bumps his head harder so he could break his skull and just die on the cold pavement outside Chanyeol's house.

He is about to bump his head extra hard, when he feels a palm hitting his forehead like a cushion.

"What the hell are you doing?"

That voice. It's him.

Baekhyun freezes.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?"

Baekhyun slowly looks up and sees Chanyeol inches away. He steps back and lowers his head, looking down at his shoes which seem to be more interesting than Chanyeol's face. It also seems like he has just swallowed his tongue because he couldn't say any single word.

He's here, Baekhyun mentally says to himself, Talk to him, he's finally in front of you.

Chanyeol gives Baekhyun a nonchalant look, before tearing his gaze away. He walks and passes beside Baekhyun, shoving the latter off his way Baekhyun almost got knocked out on the ground.

"Chanyeol-sunbae," Baekhyun finally says without looking up to his face, "Please, let's talk."

Chanyeol turns to him, giving him a once-over.

"I-I want to explain things to you... P-please..."

"Speak," Chanyeol says, and as if on automatic, Baekhyun immediately falls down on his knees in front of the male.

Chanyeol only stares.

"Please forgive me," are the first words that Baekhyun has said, as he kneels on the ground, giving up all the little dignity he has for himself, "I'm begging you, Chanyeol-sunbae."

Baekhyun puts both his hands on the ground and lowers his back, assuming a deep bow position as his forehead touches the ground.

"I did a mistake. I shouldn't have let it happen that night. I just wanted to tell you that the kiss doesn't mean anything. I am loyal to you and I will never be unfaithful to my owner," Baekhyun explains as he lowers his head, "I will accept all the punishment I deserve. Just please, don't leave me."

Chanyeol is standing right there with his lips tightly closed, seeing right in front of him Baekhyun pleading for his forgiveness. Several people who pass by murmur to themselves, feeling disheartened for the bowing male they think who has just lost his sanity and shame. 

They stay like that for a minute in silence, and Baekhyun doesn't dare to lift his head up, afraid of what will happen next.

Chanyeol bends down and touches Baekhyun's shoulder.

"Get up," he says quietly.

A tear falls from Baekhyun's eyes, because the hand on his shoulder feels like burning into him, and the voice he has just heard feel so surreal.

Baekhyun carefully gets up on his feet, dusting off his clothes. He wipes the tear with his sleeved arm, still not looking at Chanyeol as a respect.

"Let's go somewhere else."

Baekhyun peeks in a bit, and when he sees Chanyeol's disappearing back, he quickly follows him like a loyal pup. Chanyeol takes the driver's seat so Baekhyun, no matter how nervous and scared he is, takes the backseat.

Chanyeol could punish him at the back of the car since it has a bigger space. People won't notice him there when he takes a vibrator up his ass even for three days.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Chanyeol blurts out, seeing Baekhyun at the rear-view mirror crawling on the backseat.

Baekhyun's heart leaps in fear. He closes his eyes shut. D-did I do something wrong again?

"I-I'm I'm just," Baekhyun stutters nervously, "Y-you probably... wouldn't w-want to see my face so I'll just... s-squeeze myself in here---"

"Did I tell you to sit there?"

Baekhyun furiously shakes his head.

Chanyeol lets out an annoyed groan as he shuffles at the backseat. He grabs Baekhyun's wrist tightly and pulls him with force, until the other male is seated next to him. Baekhyun's eyes widen in shock when Chanyeol buckles up the seatbelt across his chest. He breathes hard when Chanyeol's hand slightly brushes against his neck while fastening the seatbelt.

W-will he choke me now for real? Baekhyun asks himself, I should accept this punishment, right?

"Do not fucking move, will you?" Chanyeol mutters, and Baekhyun can't do anything but nod.

Chanyeol drives in silence.

Many thoughts are flying inside Baekhyun's mind right now. It's already past seven in the evening. People are going home to their houses while Baekhyun on the other hand, is yet about to go to an unknown place with Chanyeol--- to a place where he must take his upcoming torture.

Baekhyun is ready. He must endure the pain.

"Have you already eaten?" Chanyeol asks.

"Huh?" Baekhyun blurts out, his face clueless.

Chanyeol looks left to right, swerving the car and driving off slowly. He is looking for a parking space, but Baekhyun pays it no mind as he still processes what Chanyeol has said.

"I only had bread this morning," Chanyeol says, as a matter of factly. He turns to Baekhyun who is as pale as a ghost. "Hey. I asked you."

"H-huh?" Baekhyun mutters again like an idiot. "Uhm. I-I... I-I'm not... I'm still full---"

His stomach grumbles loud, and Baekhyun blushes hard as he tries to cover his tummy with his hands. What the hell, stomach!

Chanyeol releases a sigh as he brushes his fringe with his hand.

"Baekhyun."

"Y-yes..."

Chanyeol stretches his arm to reach for the seatbelt, but Baekhyun suddenly winces and blocks himself with his hand to defend himself.

Chanyeol stops his hand midair.

He notices that subtle shaking of Baekhyun's shoulders as well as his unsteady breathing. Baekhyun also hasn't looked up to him ever since, as if he were scared of something terrifying that is to come.

Chanyeol feels a slight pang in his heart.

Baekhyun is afraid of him.

He slowly drops his hand instead, putting it on the stirring wheel as he keeps silent for a brief moment. He feels Baekhyun relax beside him after a few seconds.

Baekhyun calms his heart down and gulps. His palms are sweaty and he feels so suffocated inside Chanyeol's car. Other than that, he also feels so strange because Chanyeol hasn't said anything yet about Sehun nor the kiss nor the picture--- nor the punishment itself.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Chanyeol says within the thick silence, "I'm not going to punish you."

Baekhyun listens with his heart thumping wild inside his ribcage.

"I just want," Chanyeol says as he looks at Baekhyun beside him, "to be with you because I haven't seen you in a while."

Baekhyun holds back the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. No. He shouldn't cry right now, not now. Not now.

"I'm waiting for you to tell it to me," Chanyeol says, "I know you have some reasons, and I'm not a fucking idiot to believe such nonsense picture."

Why are you like this. You shouldn't tell that to me. You should get mad at me. You should punish me, Baekhyun wants to say out loud but he can't. His tongue is stiff like a rock, and his whole body seems to has gone paralyzed.

"Are you scared of me?" Chanyeol asks.

Baekhyun doesn't speak, but he nods as an answer.

Chanyeol looks down at Baekhyun's trembling hands on top of his lap, and he fights the urge to hold them and keep them warm.

"You can speak. I want to hear your voice. Tell me everything."

Baekhyun breaths, and he lets his tears finally stream down his face.

"I-I was... I was so scared... I-I thought you're going to leave me," Baekhyun sobs his heart out, "I-I know you were furious... and I expect a punishment for what I did but... But, b-but you didn't... do it and I f-feel so guilty and w-worthless..."

Baekhyun gasps for air.

"I-I can take the p-pain! Just, just don't leave me, Chanyeol-sunbae! Y-you know I can't live without you..."

Baekhyun is crying noisily like a child, and Chanyeol is just watching him in silence.

"I already said I'm not gonna punish you," Chanyeol says, "Stop being like this and don't be afraid of me."

Baekhyun hiccups.

"B-but, I-I thought... Y-you're going to discipline me... I-I did something wrong and I deserve---"

"Baekhyun, stop." Chanyeol grips the stirring wheel tight. "I don't want to hear this from you. Just stop."

Baekhyun's crying subsides.

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol says as he looks right into Baekhyun's eyes, "I don't want you to fear me. I hate it when you look at me like I'm going to hurt you."

Baekhyun looks down.

"I-I'm sorry."

Meanwhile, Chanyeol reaches for Baekhyun's chin, gently lifting it up to get a full view of his face. He uses his thumb to wipe the tears off his flushed cheeks. His hands are warm, Baekhyun decides, they have always been, so he closes his eyes to feel their heat. It travels down to his now calming heart, so he takes a deep breath and basks in Chanyeol's presence beside him.

Baekhyun opens his eyes.

"Y-your sunglasses," Baekhyun mutters. He tries not to talk about it but he can't help but just mention it.

"What about it?"

"Why.... are you still wearing it?" Baekhyun asks carefully, "Is there... something wrong with your eyes?"

As if after a long contemplation, Chanyeol holds the bridge of his sunglasses, finally taking it off and discarding it to somewhere. He looks at Baekhyun straight in his glassy eyes, making Baekhyun gasp in subtle surprise.

Baekhyun is just staring in disbelief, a hint of joy and sadness filling his pounding heart.

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol says after what seems like eternity, "But you can stop now."

"W-what do you mean?" Baekhyun asks worriedly.

"I'm breaking it," Chanyeol says, "the barrier between us."

Baekhyun can't really believe himself of what he is seeing right now.

His eyes have changed.

"Do not call me sunbae anymore. Call me by name alone."

Chanyeol takes Baekhyun's hand and opens it gently. Baekhyun only stares, allowing Chanyeol to link his bigger fingers through his slender ones.

"Come on, say it."

Baekhyun reddens as he presses his lips, muttering his lover's name softly in his mind.

"Ch-chanyeol."

"Good," Chanyeol says as he looks at Baekhyun intently, "Again."

"Chanyeol."

"Better."

Staring at Chanyeol as if he were a different person, Baekhyun absentmindedly touches his face and slightly pinches his cheek just to confirm.

"Th-they're brown. Your eyes are already brown..."

Chanyeol nods.

"A-are... Are they permanent?"

"I guess so."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know."

"But it's nice, isn't it?"

He doesn't expect Chanyeol to smile back at him like this, so when Chanyeol did, his heart has just had a mini explosion.

"Uhm..."

"What is it?"

"I-I can't," Baekhyun says squeezes Chanyeol's hand. He shakes his head, "I-I still want to call you my sunbae. I-I can't disrespect you."

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

Baekhyun nods slowly.

"Fine. Do whatever you want," Chanyeol says as he sighs. Baekhyun then nods quick, smiling ear to ear.

Chanyeol gets off the car so that they can both head out. Baekhyun follows suit, but before Chanyeol can get anywhere, he pulls the hem of his lover's coat, stopping him from walking. Chanyeol turns his head to Baekhyun who looks like he is yet to cry again.

"I-I still have to tell you something, Chanyeol-sunbae," Baekhyun says.

"What is it?" Chanyeol asks, slightly annoyed. He is hungry as fuck, he just wants to have a meal.

"Let's live together," Baekhyun says.

Chanyeol's expression doesn't change a bit.

"I want to be with the person I love," Baekhyun continues, "So if you could still accept me... I want to move in with you tomorrow."

Chanyeol doesn't say anything. He's just listening.

"I want to be closer to you and know you better. I want to be always with you, that I think I'll be going crazy if I don't see you next to me," Baekhyun says, "I won't get tired of saying this but... But I can't live my life anymore without you. I love you, Chanyeol-sunbae."

Chanyeol already knows that, but it still feels strange hearing those words from Baekhyun's mouth.

"Will you still let me live with you?"

Chanyeol faces Baekhyun and pulls him in for a tight hug. Baekhyun startles in the process, can't believe that Chanyeol is hugging him right here, right now, out in the open where people can see.

Chanyeol doesn't usually like hugs and holding hands and all that cheesy skinship, so Baekhyun is really really still flustered right now.

"I'm starving," Chanyeol mumbles, "I'll think about it later."

Baekhyun secretly smiles.

"Okay," he answers as he relishes Chanyeol's sturdy arms wrapped around his body. It only happens once in a blue moon so he must enjoy it while it lasts.

"Chanyeol-sunbae."

"What?"

"I wish they'd be permanent, your brown eyes I mean," Baekhyun mumbles softly, "Just like my love for you."

Chanyeol doesn't say anything though, but Baekhyun knows he agrees with him when he gets a glimpse of Chanyeol's lips curving up into a hidden smile.

*

To be continued.