Chaeyoung PoV

"Maybe, out of all my family members, my father was the person I loved to be around with." 

He's pacing across the room for the nth time now, a phone stuck against his ear, and his head sometimes nodded to the person he was talking to. I sigh. Please, I want some attention from you. 

There has been an itching and butterfly-like sensation whenever I see him. I get jittery, sometimes I stutter, and most of the time I'm caught staring at him. Yes, I've told Jisoo and Jennie about this, but they only encouraged me to try learning what this meant. 

Which I don't understand at all. 

Him being busy with his work, with all the stresses coming from international and local market, seems to have lessened his time with me. He doesn't get mad if I invited Sooyoung, Jisoo, and Jennie without his permission, but he still pays a lot of attention to me. Just that...he's tired these days. 

And with a sigh, he puts the phone down and sits across me, then continues to eat his cereal. 

"How's work?" I asked. 

"Jimin-hyung asked me to take a short break. About time, I think." 

I only chuckle. 

"Could you turn on the news? I was hoping to see the Olympic Stadium fireworks display," he requested. 

"Didn't you say you had tickets to the show?" 

He bobbed his head, "Yeah, well, you've been alone in the house for about 2 weeks now. I didn't find the thought pleasant." 

I scoffed. 

I turned the television on, changing the HBO channel to the news channel. I hear his crunching sound as he eats on his cereal. 

Stay calm, Chae. This is a test of your heart's patience. You are definitely not ready to open your heart to someone who would willingly save you from all your troubles. That would be toxic. Very toxic, Chae. 

...or am I just watching too much traumatizing romance-themed films? 

No. It will definitely be healthier for me to think about who I am first before moving on from my scarred past. Not just for me...but for him too. Aside from that, I have to think about the future of our families' companies. 

It's much more complicated. 

"...Chae?" he called. "Were you listening?" 

"Huh?" I asked. "I'm sorry, what was that?" I put down the remote control and turned around to him. 

He puts his spoon down and lifts one of his eyebrows, "Hmmm. That's odd." 

"What's odd?" 

"That." 

"Context?" 

"Oh, there's definitely context in my words," he teasingly laughs. 

I cross my arms, "Okay, stop beating around the bush and tell me what's odd." 

"You're spacing out a lot these days." 

I scoff, "Spacing out?--"

"'You're too observant, you know that!'" he mimicked me before I finished my sentence. He laughed, "Did I guess it right?" 

"Sometimes, I don't understand what exactly goes into your head." 

"Yeahp, me too." 

And the patience in me popped. 

I chased him around the room, he threw pillows and I did the same. The dining room and living room is now a mess, well at least I have something to do while he's busy with all his work. Finally, I'm able to grab his forearm, and he grabs mine back. 

I stab my hand to his sides, tickling him, and he fell down to the floor.

"Alright, alright, I concede, let's stop!" he says in between laughs. 

I stop, "Ha!" and I stood up. 

Then all of a sudden, he grabs me down, tickling me. 

Jungkook, this little idiot! 

I couldn't breathe. Just when I thought he stopped, he tickled me again. Then finally my stomach began to ache, I think he noticed it then quickly checked on me. Really, nothing was wrong. My stomach felt painful because I couldn't breath while laughing. He apologized, but I teasingly did not forgive him - of course, he knew I was teasing him. 

Oh, if I could only be alright in just one second, I'd love to be in your embrace all day. 

"Chae, wait!" he calls, as I 'pretended' my sulking. 

He grabs my hand, and I turned around with his force's will. 

Ah, you doe-eyed idiot. 

"You're not really mad," he caught me. 

"Alright, I wasn't. But it's fun seeing you do that." 

He crosses his arms this time, "It's fun, huh?" 

"I thought we were going to watch the Olympic Stadium fireworks display? Look they're showing a replay!" I tried to avoid the topic. 

"Not working." 

"Agh, really? Was hoping it would." 

"God, you really..." 

"What?" I leaned back as he walked toward me. 

"Sometimes...really...resisting you can get so hard, I hate losing but I love it when it comes to you." 

Alright, now we're really getting close, "Don't seduce me." 

Oh, no. My back is against the wall. What do I do? I can hear my heart beating. Jungkook, this isn't funny anymore! 

"H-hey...this isn't funny hehe," I awkwardly chuckled. 

Although, I could feel my cheeks burning, and a feeling telling me to grab him, I resist with all my might. But he's really unnecessarily close. 

"Chae, please let me concede," he whispered with our eyes locking at each other. "I won't touch you anywhere, I promise that." 

Really, who's seducing who? 

"Please?" he asked once more. 

My body acted on its own, I grabbed his neck and I was the one who kissed him. He's a bit tall for me, so I tiptoed a bit. Is this how kissing is like? He forcibly opened my mouth, but I've never known that was how kissing works. 

From my knowledge, kissing is basically just interlocking your lips - nothing more. But this...tasting each other, losing each other's breath, falling into each other's toxic scent. Agh...it's a bliss. 

He released himself from me, and we breathe heavily. 

I still clung around his neck, and he lifted my legs to his waist, and wrapped his arms around my waist. The next thing he did, he gave me small pecks on my neck but he didn't go anywhere else. 

"Jungkook--" I said, but he didn't listen. "Jungkook, wait--" still he didn't. I hold his shoulders, pushing him back a bit, "Wait a moment." 

He stops, shaking his head, "I'm-I'm sorry--" he puts me down. "God, oh my god...Jesus Christ." 

What?

He covers his face, and sighs out of frustration, "I should apologize. That wasn't my intention, really...it wasn't--" 

Hey, you idiot, if it's not yours then fine, it'll be my intention. I kissed you first! Take the honor, oh my knight and shining armor! I grab his hand, cupping his face, and again kissing him. 

This wasn't my intention too. I was hoping to heal from all my mess, from all my life's mess, but I can't be patient enough. This was supposed to be just our daily quarrel, so how come...why, rather, why did it lead us to this?

I can't resist you too, you know. If only I could tell you that I'd rather marry you this time around, if only I could tell you how glad I am to have someone finally by my side. How glad I am to feel like a queen whenever I am around you. 

I chuckle at my thoughts, and he releases himself from our kiss. His nose still brushed against mine, I can feel his inhales trying to get my scent. I smile and laugh, "I love you." 

He detaches himself from me, tightly gripping my waist and staring at me intently. 

Pondering and reflection. I've been pondering and reflecting the whole time after you brought me home from the hospital. I've never really been in a relationship, so how was I going to understand? Is this what Jennie and Jisoo was talking about? I'll never really know. 

I've never even experienced filial affection that resulted to appreciation, most of it, as I can recall, are all filled with remorse, anger, and hatred. Even if I was my parents' daughter, somehow, it felt like I wasn't. 

To be next to someone who treats me, who was first a stranger, like his whole life just feels like the dead flowers in my garden began to bloom. As if it has been waiting for someone to care for the garden. 

"I mean it," I said. 

I'm not crying anymore, compared to the times when you first met me. 

Sure, I'm not yet healed from what traumatized me, but I now realize that I have someone. Someone who would hug me tightly, who would listen to me, who would tell me odd yet funny things. 

Someone who is patient enough to help me deal with my own fears and demons. 

Once more, I chuckle as a memory passed by me. 

I think it was a week ago when he stopped and listened to my guitar practice. I was learning it because I had more than enough time to spare, and I haven't played the guitar in a while, so I knew I sounded horrible. 

He made a small verse on the spot, and sang along with my ugly playing. Then he bravoed me, encouraging me to continue playing since I had a gift for it. 

Won't you say anything? Really, just anything. 

"Is this what you meant when you asked me to never leave you?" he finally asked.

I nodded. Well...yeah...that was weeks ago, but how do you still remember? 

"You're not crying," he notices, then smiles. He holds my chin upward, "Have I succeeded? In showing you life's beauty?" 

Again, I nod, "Yeah. In so many ways, I feel happier these days." 

Our noses touch again. 

"I love you," he says. "Since I first met you." 

My eyes widened, then he kissed me once more. 

--

The next few days, as usual, he's still busy with his work. I cling around a lot, not out of boredom, but in hopes that I get to get his attention from work. He has 2 cellphones and sometimes they ring simultaneously, sometimes his tablet would notify him a lot of scheduled meetings, and he would crack his neck. 

But that didn't really intervene with what we now were. There are no labels, but we kissed each other, he always made me sit on his lap or carry me bridal-style, we watched movies, he slept next to me twice, so far. Nothing went out of line, he knew the limits he had. We've never gone to the sexual route.

And he did it out of respect for me. Not that I want to complain, I like the way things are. 

But reality always made its way to me. 

As soon as Jungkook left for work, I stare at my phone with Jimin's name on it buzzing on and off. Yes, he never stopped from trying to get contact from me. I let the call ring without answering it, wondering what I should do next. 

Of course with my newfound happiness, I'm currently too selfish to share it. But that would just leave more problems in the future. 

I have to settle my qualms with my family now, or it might cause another rift between me and Jungkook. That would be the least thing I want to happen. 

I sighed, opening my phone and pressing my dad's number. 

It rang for a few seconds. 

"Chaeyoung?" I heard his voice. "Chaeyoung, have you really called?" 

By now, my father should be at work. 

"...hello?" 

So it's safe to say that he's alone in his office right now. 

"Yes, appa, it's me," I replied. 

"Where have you been? Where are you right now? Are you alright?" 

I'm glad to know you're asking these questions. 

"I'm fine--" 

"Where are you? Are you really not in danger? Are you really safe? You should come home." 

"Dad...I..." I teared up. "Dad, I'm safe. And I'm fine, really." 

He sighs, "My goodness, you've caused me a lot of heart problems!" 

I chuckle, "I'm sorry, dad." 

"...are you willing to come home?" 

"You might be furious if you knew where I am right now," I answer. "Dad, do you remember those new year's fireworks display we used to watch?" 

He laughs, "Yes, of course. Your mother would always skip it because of the loud noise." 

"I miss it," I said and he falls into silence. I bit my lip and bounce up and down. Neither of us talked, neither of us answered. Had my words reached you? Did it only take three words to do so? Tears trickle down my cheeks, and I bite my lip harder to contain my sobs. 

To the innocent child me...I'm not who you want to be right now. 

----

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