Chaeyoung PoV

I stared at my phone for about an hour now, or probably more. It rang and turned off, but I just allowed it to do so. What can I do? Jimin has been contacting me endlessly. For a while, he stopped doing so but then he started calling my number again. There should be a time where I should be able to tell him where I am.

That I'm safe.

But do I?

Do I have to tell him that I'm safe?

Ever since he told me I looked happier these days, I couldn't help but notice it as well. I've never looked forward to eating breakfast or waiting for someone to get home or having movie nights. I've never done that.

Furthermore, no one has ever thought of taking a day off work or cancelling their meetings just to take care of me at home. My parents were never like that. They have always asked my nanny to take good care of me, and would order the family's driver to bring me to the hospital. Besides, why did he have to cancel everything and go out of his way just to nurse me? It was only an ankle sprain.

What more, the ankle sprain wasn't even serious. Just use some ice and you'll be better in no time.

I stared at him as he said he wanted to water the plants that I've been taking care of. It's a beautiful Sunday today, and we decided just to stay at home. Nothing is better than feeling cozy at home during a weekend. Though I've been locked up here for about a month and a half now, I still find it very comfortable.

Yes, yes, I still go outside but only with his permission. It's not because he wanted me to feel jailed here, but because he knew I didn't want anyone to find out where I am.

After ending my career as a social influencer, it also ended my source of income. After that day that I resigned from the agency, all of what I have been working on suddenly disappeared.

And somehow, I knew that I was trying to neglect that fact.

I've pondered and reflected during the time I'm alone in the house. Why was my mood always up? Why was I always on edge?

When we arrived home from the hospital that night, he kept saying I looked livelier. He kept throwing me all these positive compliments that I wasn't used to, and I couldn't help but see how different my perspective of life has changed ever since we came home that night.

"Hey," he said, sitting next to me. "Are you okay? You look like you've been think much these days."

My head turned to him.

That night, when he arrived home drunk, what did he really mean when he said he was tired. Tired from what? Is he tired of me? Will he get tired of me?

"Chae?"

I didn't know how to express it, but why could I express myself better when I'm facing you? All the words that choked me up whenever I tried to open up to my friends or family turn into sounds and actual words whenever I open up to you. All my dark humor becomes very serious whenever you hear it.

Just, why?

"Hey," he said, putting his hand on my thigh and tried to get my attention.

Why don't I want to call Jimin back? Why don't I want my family to know that I'm safe and sound with him?

I take his hand, and look down at the ground.

Is it because...I don't want to share this safe zone?

I inwardly scoff at myself. Since when has his company become a safe zone? How did it end up like this? Which part of my past words did I not do? We set boundaries, we set rules, I said I wouldn't fall in love, I said I'll be just fine as long as I have place to stay in.

But how come...I don't want to make an effort to let everybody else know I'm fine?

Once more, he nudged me, lowering his head to my eye level, "Hey, are you alright?"

I looked at him and nodded, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Seriously, are you alright? You should already know I know when you're lying," he chuckled.

Really...what are my feelings? It's so hard to identify them, but why? Why is it so hard to identify them? Where does my heart and mind want to go?

I scootched closer towards him, snuggling into his arm. He laughed, "You're being childish these days too. What's the matter with you?"

"Jungkook..." I muttered, staring at the lawn full of flowers and whatnots.

"Hmm?"

"If I don't study business...will this engagement still happen?" I asked.

He hummed, "Well...I can't really say anything about our engagement right now. They still don't know you're here with me."

"You kept it well."

"Only Lisa, Sooyoung, Jennie-noona, and Jisoo-noona knows about it," he says, then suddenly he recalled. "Ah, also Jaehyun."

"But, if you ask me," he continues. "You going abroad to take on a business course, means the company will have to split its interests and shares. In short, both of us will be the owners of certain areas that company owns."

"I don't get it."

"Say for example J and P Association owns a fashion industry business and at the same time it owns an office work business. Probably the fashion business will fall to your line of work, so you'll be president in those kinds of businesses. Same goes with me."

I nodded, "I see."

He continued, "So if you pursue to take a business college course, that would happen. The engagement would most likely be nulled, and there would be a change of contract conditions."

I nodded along as he explained. He talked about Jimin being the most probable to take on the shares of my father's work in J and P Associations, and I would most likely be a vice-president to Jimin.

But that's not what I want. Business has never been an interest for me. I've always loved performing, dancing on the stage, singing, holding a camera and whatnot. Business was never for me, though I had once considered it.

"Why are you asking this, by the way?" he asked.

I get pulled back to his question, widening my eyes and shaking my head slowly, "It's nothing. I was just thinking about it since sooner or later, we wouldn't be able to hide from all our parents' decisions."

He nodded, "Yeah, well..."

After a few seconds he heaved a long sigh, "Whatever happens, happens."

I looked confused for a second.

"You've always wanted to null this engagement, so maybe it's your chance."

"Is that so...?" I turned my head straight, back to the lawn. "You haven't fulfilled your promise."

He giggled, "So you remembered."

"You kept repeating it like some kind of parrot, you know."

"And there's the Chaeyoung I've always known!"

We both laughed like it is finally normal. Neither of us are going against each other's words. When I noticed this for the first time a few weeks ago, I thought it was because he was considerate for me since I sprained my ankle.

But even after my sprain slowly started to heal, everything became different.

And so since then, I've pondered. I've repeated the same question every single day.

What was my goal in life? What were the ideologies and beliefs that I abide by? Where could I begin to change myself?

I've always blamed my parents for causing this trauma, and I've always blamed him. I've always joked about suicide. I've always tried to shake everyone up with my childish behavior. I've always placed a distance between everyone else.

But when I'm with you...it feels like I'm finally free.

"Thank you..." I muttered.

"Hmm? What for?"

I started crying.

"Chae?" he asked, holding my shoulder.

I light punched him, "I don't know...if I should apologize or say thank you to you."

He wraps his arms around my neck, pulling me towards his chest, "Take it slowly. What do you want to say?"

"If I had ever thought about it before, I would've never had hurt you," I said. "I'm sorry that you always had to babysit me and take care of me like some kind of child."

I didn't know what I was thinking, but I hugged him, "Thank you for always understanding me."

And I hugged him tighter, "No one has ever understood what I felt...thank you for always saving me."

"So please don't leave me," I said with a cracking voice.

Please...say that you won't leave me.

If I had the chance to erase all my foolish actions and thoughts, I would do it. If I knew you were the person who could save me from falling, if I knew you were the one who would ease all my anxieties...I would've never caused any trouble.

"I'll never do that," he said. "Really..." he chuckled, sniffling at the same time, "You really know how to get me all the time."

Then he kissed my forehead, "I know it's been hard on you, so no matter what, I'll never leave you." His hand cupped the back of my head. "But you'll have to stay with me, alright?"

I nodded, my heart aching, and I continued to cry.

Oh, God, since when have I had this much tears in me? Was it all the pent up emotions? Or the unaddressed problems?

If so, have I always contradicted myself? Facing realities and all that...have I been joking around all this time? Were the people who I considered to be the closest ones, did they always know I had this much weight around me?

Just why...why do I have to be so vulnerable around you? And all the time, you come around save me. I'm such a damsel in distress. But really, will you never get tired of me?

Even if I breakdown more than 10 times a day? Even if I myself couldn't understand who I am? Will you always save me?

When he released me from his big hug, he laughed at me while brushing his thumbs on my cheeks, "You look better smiling."

I hold his wrist, closing my eyes as I felt his warm hand on my cheek. A tear flew down my face, and again he wiped it.

"I'm serious, alright," I said before he could fun of me. "I don't know who I really am..."

He looked at me pitifully, "Then I'll remind you everyday who you are."

He smiled.

He smiled at me, and I lightly punched him again, "You really...why do you always know how to make me cry?"

He chuckled.

I lightly punched him again, "Stop being annoying, will you?"

"Alright, alright," he laughed, pulling me back to his embrace. "I'll stop. Don't say 'thank you' anymore...because even if you weren't the person I was engaged to, I still would've done the same thing." He paused for a second, "To me, as long as you're healthy and well, it'll be enough."

My heart smiled.

Then I remembered that I wasn't the only broken one here. I may be more broken than him, but both of us are not different. We're really just our parent's puppets.

So who is it really, who is the villain in our story? Why have we both ended up this way?

I turned my head to the opposite direction, putting my cheek against his shoulders, and muttered, "You too...you should also be healthy and well."

---
One update for now!

I wrote this back in my small academic break, only got to revise and publish it after examinations week.

I'm sure not all of you have seen my posted message about my sudden leave. Like I said, still being in an online class set-up is starting to get into my mental and emotional health. Furthermore, I'm delayed in university. It's quite upsetting, really. I apologize for not updating sooner!!! Ah! Rest assured, I'm a little better these days.

Though I can't promise frequent updates, I'll try my best to write whenever I can.

Aside from that, do you guys think Chaeyoung's whereabouts will be revealed im a few chapters? Orrrrrr do you guys think there'll be crazy adventures with Jungkook???

See you on the next update!!!

Artemis1265~