Chaeyoung PoV

He waltzed inside the kitchen and sat on one of the high chairs by the counter. His head looked like it weighed an extra 100 pounds and his eye bags looked heavy. Not the usual flawless skinned Jungkook. 

I put a bowl of warm, spicy soup in front of him, for the hangover. Last night, I ended up pushing him to the floor when he fell asleep and I walked upstairs like nothing happened. In this world, help yourself or don't get help at all. 

Despite of his hangovers, he looked like everything was fine. He ate his breakfast normally, by the way, today was his turn to cook the meal but whatever. I wanted to say something but obviously I felt awkward because of what he blurted out last night. 

Before he fell asleep, he kept shouting "NOT FROM ME", "NOT FROM ME" and pointing his pointer to the air like there's some kind of UFO flying in the sky. I counted it for about the first 30 "not from me" and then got annoyed but I couldn't say anything. He just drifted off to sleep then I pushed him to the floor. 

So does "busy Thursday" actually mean "drunk Thursday"? I rolled my eyes on the thought. 

"Ugh..." he groaned, scratching his eyes. 

I sighed, "Okay, that's it. I've had enough of your rambling since last night. Where exactly were you?" He hesitated then I sighed again, "Fine, don't say it. But let me tell you, you kept saying things like 'NOT FROM ME' over and over and over again. And things like 'I am so tired' blah, blah, blah."

His jaw opened, "You...you...my mom...I wasn't talking to my mom????"

"No, you big oaf. So what's the big deal? Did you visit a pub or something?"

"More like got drunk in the car," he corrected and groaned again. "God, that was stupid. So you heard my whole tantrum and now you think I'm such a big baby."

I paused before I wanted to say the words: "Yeah, you are a stupid baby". I didn't want to sound too mean after all that he said last night. 

Things like he was tired from all the work that was given to him and how I don't make the said "team" work out. He sounded so burned out and he doesn't complain when he's sober. How in the world does he maintain his long patience and his never-ending calmness? I would've screamed and gotten angry if I were in his situation. 

So I didn't want to say something mean after all, I gave him my share of the burden. Just in a quick swoosh, he was already set to be the next CEO of the Association and I didn't take business school, I don't even know the first thing in marketing. 

"No," I said and he looked shocked. "You were just releasing some welled-up feelings."

He nodded and took a sip from his glass of milk then looked at me. I sighed and placed my bowl of cereal down. 

"Look, okay, I heard what you said. Things can't be undone when it's in the past. You're tired from all this business mess and it's because I didn't offer to take up business in college or at least grab some of the future-CEO tasks," I looked down. "So you and I are the epitome of children who grew up with no parental guidance."

He looks away, "Just in different circumstances and point of views."

I nod, "Yeah."

We fell in silence. At some point we were able to understand each other. We both are hurting, we both need that love that we never had. Something that he wants but I cannot give and something I want but he cannot give. 

In the end, it'll be a failed arrange-marriage if ever it came true. We both seek comfort and a paradise, where we can rest and feel at home. 

Somehow, he's still so mature despite of the lack of parental love he received. He's independent and he's built in a system in him. Things that I can never even do. 

"If I were to be honest with you, marrying you would've been a good way to escape the 4 of them," he said, breaking our silence. "If I married and I'm 23, I get the company and do what I want to do. Which is the crisis right now."

"Crisis?" 

He sighed and looked at me, "Your dad offered your withdrawal to the marriage and said that you'll take business school in the US. He said it last night in the dinner...and discussions of who I marry and who you marry became the next topic like it was just nothing."

Not again.

"The candidates were Taehyung-hyung, a German businessman, and a Japanese businessman. For me, Chou Tzuyu, Kim Ji Eun, and Choi Ji Soo," he continues and looked really down then scoffed. "Out of all those 3 girls, I think I'd still choose you."

My heart fluttered for a little bit and my stomach curled up and twisted a lot. 

I shake my head and chuckled, "Stop joking, you big oaf."

"No, really. I wouldn't hesitate."

"You're not sober yet," I slide down the stool and put the bowl into the sink. "By the way, you're supposed to be the one to make meals today and do the dishes."

I rush upstairs and entered my room then I slide down the door to sit on the floor. My heart really fluttered. It might've skipped a beat. I might've turned red. He might've done that to make my heart flutter. 

All the different thoughts pop in my mind and I feel like my heart is going to go out of its cage. I can't be in love with him, if I truly want to be free, I can't get involved with him any more. 

But it's either that or I marry another person. And truly, I wouldn't pick that Taehyung guy or a foreign businessman to be my husband. Maybe it's because I know Jungkook already or maybe it's because I'm used to being with him in the house. 

We follow the rules, we barely see each other but why does it feel like a clenching heart pain inside me right now? 

I stand up and open the door, I wanted to get a cup of water to calm me down. He probably went upstairs already since it's almost time for him to leave for work. 

Wait. 

I stopped walking for a second. 

How do I memorize his daily routine? Why am I always analyzing him? 

"Chae, are you alright?" I hear him but my thoughts are elsewhere. 

I feel him holding my shoulder and turning me to face him. I looked at him and I felt a spring of joy entering my world. Like a leap from the sad and blue mood I've always had. 

"Hey, are you okay?? Can you hear me??" he asked. 

"Jungkook, tell me you don't mean those words you said," I tell him. 

"But I do."

I felt really dizzy. 

"I really mean it, Chae."

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