Haneul's POV:

Christmas had finally arrived. The whole city was beautifully dressed with christmas lights of every color. The weather was cold, possibly announcing snow on the next days... Music, happiness everywhere, childrens laughing, fireplaces and smell of hot cocoa filled the atmosphere along with the fresh smell of pine trees.

But I still had the emptiness. It was the first holiday since Rocky's passing, and I wasn't sure of how to deal with it... However, I was determined to try my best to keep my head up and celebrate his memory as much as I could.

I had woken up really early that morning, helping my mother with every meal we'd share that night. My dad adorned my house with beautiful wreaths on my front door, and even christmas socks on my walls. If it wasn't for the heaviness in my heart, I would've been really happy to share such a special moment with my parents as a family of three again.

"Will you need anything more, mom?" I asked, wiping my hands with a clean towel after I finished washing the dishes.

"I think I'll be okay for now" She responded, her back still facing me. "Will you go now?" 

She turned her head, looking at me with a sympathethic smile. I nodded.

"Yeah, I better go before the sun sets and it gets even colder" I responded, tying up my hair in a ponytail and grabbing my keys right after.

My mom looked at me for a few seconds, then sighed, releasing the knife she was using to chop some vegetables. She stepped forward, grabbing my face with both of her hands and placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"You're really strong" She whispered against my skin. "Tell him we miss him too" She added, kissing my forehead once again.

I smiled at her sweet gesture and nodded. I turned on my heels, and grabbed my coat and the buquet of tulips I bought especially for him, leaving the house. The wind was even colder than I expected, making me shiver and wrap my frame with my own arms as I tried to warm up. The place where his grave was located was near my house, but since I went walking, I was struggling to even feel my lips that were losing sensibility due to the freezing air. I kept nibbling on my lower lip in a failed try to stop them from getting numb.

I felt relieved as soon as I entered the gardens where we'd meet. A nostalgic feeling attacked me as the memories of his beautiful existence came back in flashes. I could feel the tears building in my eyes when I read his name, and I squatted down to place the flowers underneath. It hadn't been long since I visited him, and I missed him every single day, every minute, but that day was different. 

"Merry Christmas, Rocky" I whispered, with a bitter smile on my lips.

I sighed, resting on my ankles and placing my hands on my lap. My head was down, and I felt like I was caged between four walls with no air, no light, and no exit.

"This is the first one... The first one of many others that i'll get to spend without you" I said, tugging on the cloth of my jeans. I took a deep breath through my nostrils and lifted my head. It was hurting so much, but I knew I had to be strong. There was no other choice.

Christmas was supposed to be a happy holiday. A moment to share with the ones you love, to forgive and forget, to just smile and open up your heart to new opportunities. But what do you do when a part of you is long gone? I had my family, I had my friends, I was starting to be happy again... But he was still missing. That was a piece of my soul I would never get back, no matter how long I waited. I knew that wouldn't be the first time I'd feel like breaking again, it was no secret that although you learn to live without your loved ones, you would never really stop missing them. There would be days where it'd get harder than others... And our first holy night without him was one of them.

"I can't stay too long today... I have to get ready for dinner, and make sure my parents don't need any help" I said "But there was no way I'd stop coming to see you. I miss you Minhyuk, I miss you so much." I sighed, wiping a wild tear that escaped from one of my eyes "But I promise I'll do my best to remember you tonight with happiness."

I remembered every single detail of him. It had been almost seven months and I could still hear his laugh, smell his scent, remember the sparkles in his eyes. I remembered everything all too well, like he was there just the day before. Suddenly, a light breeze touched my skin and made me feel warm even in the cold. The shivers had stopped and somehow, my chest was feeling full.

"You're always here with me, aren't you?" I asked quietly, with a subtle smile on my lips. I knew that feeling even though it was the first time that I had experienced it. He was with me, somehow, that day, in that moment.

That was more than enough for me to keep moving on.

"I love you" I whispered "Thank you for being with me, always"

I stood up, still smiling as my fingertips grazed the stone with his name. 

"Merry Christmas again... Wherever you are, I hope you have the biggest and most beautiful tree. I hope there's a lot of beautiful lights, shooting stars, and a lot of happiness. I'll be remembering you dearly. I love you." I mouthed as I stepped backwards, blowing a kiss to his name and turning around to finally go back home. 

This time, with a consoled heart.

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The table was already set, just waiting for the food to be in place. Haneul looked at herself in the mirror, applying another layer of lip gloss before she felt slightly satisfied with her appearance. She didn't feel like dressing up too fancy, picking a pair of jeans and a comfy turtleneck sweater. Her hair was loose with natural waves, a bit of mascara and that was it.

She walked downstairs and found her dad lighting the fireplace, the smell of wood filled the small house almost entirely. When he straightened his figure, their eyes met and he gave her a subtle smile, opening his arms for her. She smiled in return, stepping forward and wrapping her dad in a tight hug. His strong, familiar scent filled her nose and made her feel safe.

"You look pretty" He said, resting his cheek on the top of her head.

She hummed in response, burying her face in his chest just like she used to do when she was little. He patted her back gently a couple of times before they heard a knock on the door and pulled away.

"I'll go" She said, her dad nodded.

She walked to the door, feeling the delicious smell of the food her mom was making in the kitchen. Her stomach growled just by that, making her giggle to herself before she opened the door.

Rocky's parents greeted her with a subtle smile that she quickly returned. Rocky's mom opened her arms and hugged her tightly, warming her heart, but at the same time, making part of her feel sad.

"It's nice to see you, sweetheart" She smiled. Haneul smiled in return and moved aside to let them in, giving Rocky's dad a quick hug right before she closed the door behind them. The couple took of their shoes just when Haneul's mother appeared in the hallway, wiping her hands and beautifully dressed.

"Welcome, thank you for coming" Haneul's mother said, hugging Rocky's mother. Their fathers shook hands and they instantly started talking about stuff she probably didn't want to pay attention to.

She sat next to the window, resting her chin on her hand as she admired the christmas lights that adorned the streets. She took a breath and exhaled it, feeling the abscence of that one she loved the most.

Her phone suddenly buzzed, bringing her back to earth. She introduced her hand in the pocket of her jeans and took it out to check. 

Cool kidz (3 new messages)

She frowned and giggled at the sudden chat group.

Hueningkai: Merry Christmas!!

Beomgyu: Isn't it a little too early?

Taehyun: What the hell is this I don't approve

Hueningkai: Stop being a party pooper

Haneul: Hey, merry christmas to you too! :)

Hueningkai: See? She has manners!

Beomgyu: I do too. I was just asking. Merry Christmas I guess.

Taehyun: I don't

Hueningkai: We already know that

Hueningkai: Anyways... Where are Soobin hyung and Yeonjun hyung?

Haneul: Uh... With their family?

Beomgyu: I bet Soobin hyung is eating bread

Soobin: I'm here

Soobin: And that's correct I'm eating bread

Haneul: Bread on Christmas?

Soobin: You can always eat bread 

Taehyun: He eats bread as if his life depended on it

Soobin: That's not true

Hueningkai: Yes it is, hyung.

Beomgyu: It is.

Soobin: Why are you all against me? 

Hueningkai: We're not.

Taehyun: Because you're lying, hyung.

Haneul: Guys please stop arguing lmao is this how you plan to spend the next days together at the same place?

Hueningkai: Right! just two days left for our trip!

Haneul: You two will share a room.

Taehyun: I must object

Hueningkai: Yeah me too. It's my house and I can choose!

Haneul: We'll lock you in a room together.

Hueningkai: Hehe... No need for that

Hueningkai: We love each other, we're just messing around, right Tae?

Taehyun: Love is a strong word

Beomgyu: ... Where's Yeonjun hyung?

Haneul: Right... I haven't heard from him today.

Hueningkai: Me neither.

Taehyun: I wish I hadn't heard from all of you today

Beomgyu: That's rude

Haneul: :(

Taehyun: Just kidding

Hueningkai: We know you were not.

Taehyun: I was... Well, at least with Haneul.

Haneul: He loves me <3 

Hueningkai: Don't let him fool you!!!

Soobin: Who loves who?

Beomgyu: Kai loves you.

Soobin: Aww really?

Hueningkai: No I don't

Soobin: :(

Taehyun: We must procceed with our respective dinners.

Hueningkai: You're not my boss.

Taehyun: Then starve to death.

Hueningkai: I'll haunt you forever.

Taehyun: I'll ignore you... Just like I do now.

Hueningkai: You're not ignoring me.

Hueningkai: Indeed, you're the only one who's talking to me.

Hueningkai: How dare you to ignore me??? I'll take revenge.

Taehyun: I do not fear the dark side.

Beomgyu: Okay I'll go to eat ttyl

Haneul: Bye Beomie! 

Beomgyu: Bye bye 

Hueningkai: Beomie?

Taehyun: I'm leaving as well.

Hueningkai: We're not done yet!

Soobin: Kai

Hueningkai: Yes?

Soobin: Do you love me?

Hueningkai: No

Soobin:  I hope you get coal tonight.

Soobin has left the chat.

Hueningkai: Geez, why is everyone so aggressive

Taehyun: Great, you hurt his feelings

Beomgyu: Weren't you leaving?

Taehyun: And weren't you?

Beomgyu: My phone keeps buzzing

Taehyun: Then stop texting

Beomgyu: Then stop replying???

Haneul: Just mute the chat dear jesus lolol

Hueningkai: ... I just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas. This looks like a support group... For dysfunctional families.

Haneul: We're a dysfunctional family. We're hungry and Yeonjun is missing.

Hueningkai: Fair enough

Hueningkai: Wait, awww are you worried?

Haneul: No

Hueningkai: Liars don't get christmas gifts

Haneul: I don't believe in Santa anymore

Hueningkai: ...

Hueningkai: You

Hueningkai: Are

Hueningkai: A monster

Haneul: Monsters don't cuddle and you love cuddling with me

Hueningkai: You have a point. I do love your cuddles.

Haneul: I gotta go, Rocky's parents and my parents are waiting for me

Haneul: Merry christmas fluffy boy <3 

Hueningkai: Oh, alright! Merry christmas!

Beomgyu: Kai, just add Soobin hyung back

Hueningkai: Okay, okay

Soobin has been added.

Haneul blocked her phone and tucked it back in her pocket, chuckling and shaking her head to herself. Her friends were such a mess. A really fun one.

As soon as her mother called her to join the table, she sat on the edge. Both couples were across each other and there was just one spot empty... Rocky's.

"I hope you enjoy the food" Haneul's mother said, filling up the plates with warm, fresh food.

Everyone started eating right away, not wanting the food to get cold. The atmosphere was really quiet, except for the sound of them sucking or chewing their food, sometimes even humming contently at the taste.

"Thank you for inviting us. It's been really hard" Mrs. Park said, with a sad smile on her face.

Haneul looked up and smiled sadly as well.

"You don't have to thank us. You're welcome whenever you want. We loved Rocky like a son" Haneul's father said, a sympathethic tone in his voice.

"It's not the same of course. Nothing will ever fill the emptiness... But at least we can lean on each other" Haneul's mom added, making the rest smile in response.

"The house feels really empty without him. Really quiet and gray. He always had his music on, now there's nothing else but memories" 

"And whenever he saw Haneul we noticed... Because he would always enter the house with a huge smile on his face" Mrs. Park added to her husband's words.

"I can't imagine how painful it is for you. We love our daughter so much. We asked her to go back to Daegu with us"

Haneul's eyes widened, looking at her mother.

"Mom..."

"Really? Well, that's understandable"

"It's still not decided" Haneul said.

"Yes, we gave her a few weeks to think. But we're sure she knows what's the best for her" Her mother said, tucking a strand of Haneul's hair behind her ear.

She just looked down, not wanting to argue.

"I understand your parents... We would miss you, but after all that happened, it's logical that they want you to be with them so they can take care of you." Mrs. Park explained. "If I could do the same, I would"

"I miss him." Haneul expressed, looking down at her plate and playing with her food.

Rocky's mom placed her hand on Haneul's, making her look up. She squeezed it gently and smiled.

"I know. We all do. I will always be grateful for you. You loved each other and I'm relieved he left this world knowing nothing but what true love really meant" She smiled, tears forming on her face. "I hope you can find someone who loves you as much as you loved Minhyuk. You deserve nothing but happiness. You're a beautiful young lady and you deserve to be treated like a princess" She added, her voice cracking.

Haneul smiled, tears escaping her eyes and streaming down her face. She squeezed Mrs. Park's hand back and quickly wiped her tears away. Her words made her heart swell, thinking that the family of her boyfriend wanted her to be happy and love again meant the whole world.

They shared a few stories about Rocky, about their family trips, about things he used to do when he was a kid. They shed a couple of tears, but laughed as well. It was a really emotional night, but when the night ended, they parted ways with a heart filled with loving memories.

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Haneul's POV:

It was past 1 am. My parents were already upstairs, probably sleeping, but since I had so many things in mind, I was just sitting on the couch with the stereo on.

Nothing without you by AB6IX started playing, bringing a lot more memories that made my heart shake in nostalgy.

I remembered the day I danced to that song with Rocky, and how beautiful that day was. I never thought that'd be our last anniversary together, but I was glad that we made of it such a beautiful and intimate moment between us.

I closed my eyes and let my tears fall freely down my cheeks, summerging myself in the piano and their voices, the lyrics. 

But then, my phone started buzzing. I thought it would be the chatroom again, but when it didn't stop, I knew it was an incoming call.

Yeonjun's name appeared on the screen and my heart stopped for a few seconds. I took a deep breath and picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, are you busy?"

"No, not at all. My parents are already sleeping, why?"

"Can you come outside? I have something for you"

I frowned at his words, confused. I wiped my tears with my sleeve and walked to the door and opened it.

I was instantly greeted by his bright blue hair. He was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, a pair of blue jeans and black boots with a leather coat on top. He was holding a big box, but as soon as our eyes met, his expression softened. Looking at me from up to down, a subtle smirk formed on his lips.

"Yeonjun" I smiled "What is that?" I asked with a chuckle, pointing my finger to the box.

"It's your gift" He said with a wink.

I knew how much of a troll he was, so I didn't know if I should believe him. I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Is that a bunch of muffins?"

He chuckled.

"Who knows, you have to open it. I prepared for this the whole day, that's why I didn't talk on the group"

I chuckled as well.

"I swear if it's a bunch of muffins you'll have to--"

The box slightly moved, interrupting what I was about to say. My brows knitted together in confusion, and a terrified look appeared on his face.

"... Why is the box moving?"

Yeonjun let out an awkward laugh.

"I... Uh, can we go inside?"

"Oh right, it's freezing. Sorry, come in"

He entered my house and took his shoes off the best that he could.

"Let's go to the living room, the fireplace is still on" I said, gesturing for him to follow me, which he did.

As soon as we entered, he placed the box on the carpeted floor, sitting on his ankles and sighing. I tilted my head, staring down at him before he reached out and grabbed my hand to pull me down and sit on the floor in front of him.

"Please open it" He said, firmly this time. Since his face was blank I decided to stop asking questions and do as he said.

When I opened the box, there it was. I was met with a pair of big, round, chestnut colored eyes. I covered my mouth in surprise and looked back at Yeonjun, who just gave me a light smile. A beautiful, ginger furrball was inside, staring at me with curiosity.

I picked it up and instantly petted it, hugging it against my chest.

"Yeonjun... What?" I muttered, in the verge of tears. "You didn't have to"

He sighed.

"The other day... You said how lonely you feel sometimes. It hurt me to hear you say that, but you were right. I can't be with you all the time, even if I wanted to... So I thought, why not finding a permanent companion for her?"

I chuckled, tears escaping my eyes.

"You really listened"

He scrunched his nose cutely, smiling.

"I always listen" He said, extending his arm and caressing my head. "Now you have a friend that will be with you every day whenever you feel lonely. But I'm still here okay? I hope you don't replace me with him, like you replace me with Beomgyu" He teased. I pushed his shoulder and laughed.

I placed the cat on the floor, letting it explore the surroundings. Yeonjun grabbed my hands and held them between his, gaining my attention.

"Listen, I know this has been a hard year for us... But just know that I care about you. Anything you need I'll give it to you."

I stared at him with a smile. My heart was pounding against my chest so hard I was afraid he could hear it. The firelight reflected in his dark orbs and every single one of his features beautifully. The way he looked at me made me feel things I didn't know how to describe. His plump, pouty lips curled up in a smirk, fire behind his pupils.

Seemed like I never noticed how gorgeous he was. But I wouldn't let myself think about it too much.

I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, resting my cheek on his shoulders. He flinched a little in surprise, but then placed his arms around my waist and hugged me back. I held him tightly against me, finding it hard to believe how wonderful he was.

"Thank you" I whispered "Thank you so much, Yeonjun" I buried my face in the crook of his neck, letting my impulses take control. He smelled so good, what a sweet scent he had. "I'm really lucky to have you in my life. You're the best friend I could've asked for"

He rubbed my back, and I felt him humming.

After a few minutes, we pulled back. I felt flustered when our eyes locked so I looked away to the cat, feeling the heat on my cheeks.

"How will you call it?" He asked.

"Is it--"

"Male. I took him to the vet"

I smiled, patting his head.

"Nice job" I teased, he scoffed. "I think I'll call him... Minki"

"Minki?" I nodded "Cute name" He smiled.

"Sounds like a diminutive of Minhyuk"  I confessed, holding the cat again and feeling happy when I heard his purrs. "I just got him and I have to leave him" I pouted. Yeonjun chuckled.

"It's just a couple of days. He will be waiting for you" He said, standing up and offering me his hand to do the same.

We moved to the couch and sat next to each other, the cat on my lap. Yeonjun grabbed the controller from the stereo and the song I was listening to started playing again.

"That's the song Rocky and I danced on our anniversary" I said, looking down as I played with the cat.

Yeonjun kept quiet for a couple of seconds, but I could feel his stare glued on me.

"It sounds beautiful."

I nodded.

"It means a lot..." I breathed, tears escaping my eyes again. I quickly and harshly wiped them away, but he noticed "Sorry, I think I'm being too emotional today" I chuckled.

Yeonjun moved a bit closer and wiped a tear with his thumb. His proximity making me nervous.

"It's okay" He cooed "You're doing great"

He smiled at me and I did the same, resting my head on his shoulder. Listening to music, making memories, remembering old ones, just the three of us in that Christmas night.