Haneul's POV:

Walking out of my classroom, I stretch my body with a smile plastered on my face. It was our last day at school before we went on christmas' vacation, and I was proud of myself for being able to approve every single one of my classes.

Walking through the corridors, I spot Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai in front of the lockers. I ran towards them and jumped on Beomgyu's back that was facing me. He flinched and almost lost his balance, which made all of us laugh.

"Why are you so excited?" He asked, turning around to see me. Kai smirked, standing next to him.

"Looks like someone approved her classes. Am I correct?"

Beomgyu looked at me expectantly.

"I did!" I exclaimed, putting my hands up in the air excitedly.

"Awww, hugs!" Kai exclaimed teasingly whilst opening his arms. I giggled, wrapping him in a tight hug and rocking us side to side.

Taehyun chuckled, looking at us. I looked back at him and smiled, opening my arms for him. He smiled and hugged me as well.

"Oh, that's great! High five!" Beomgyu then said. I turned around and he had his hand ready for me, but when I was about to give him the high five, he moved it higher so I couldn't reach it. 

I glared at him, and smacked his forehead. We all laughed, but then Beomgyu wrapped his arm around my shoulder and started poking on my sides. I squealed and tried to pull away as we busted into laughter.

"Hello there!" I heard someone said. Beomgyu quickly released me and I turned my head, accidentally slapping Yeonjun's face with my ponytail.

When I saw him scrunching his face, I covered my mouth with my hands and chuckled.

"I'm sorry!" I apologized in an amused tone, touching his face with my fingers as I kept giggling.

"Ow, isn't your hair a bit too long?" He chuckled, rubbing his face.

"Did you just hair-shamed me?" I asked, hitting his shoulder. He chuckled.

"You just hair-slapped me. Now we're even" He smiled, patting my head. I glared at him. " Anyways, I saw you guys were really touchy feely. Is there something to celebrate?"

"She approved all her classes" Kai said. Yeonjun raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

"Hey, good job!" He said, stroking my head gently with a subtle smile on his face.

"Thank you" I responded quite shyly, but before I could even think about my own reactions, Hueningkai spoke again.

"So, did you ask about the trip?"

I shook my head.

"Not yet... I'm sorry, I was waiting until I approved so I'd have more chances for them to say yes... Although I'm still afraid they could say no" I shrugged.

They smiled sadly. I could tell how much they wanted me to go, and I really wanted to go as well. 

"I'll go with her and we'll talk with her parents after we're back from the cementery" Yeonjun smiled, placing his hand on top of my head. I glared at him jokingly, and he winked.

"I hope you can be as persuasive with this as you are when you want us to buy you food" Taehyun said.

"Or as he is when he wants to pick which games we should play" Beomgyu added.

"Or as he is wh--" Kai was about to say, but he interrupted.

"Okay, we get it. Don't worry, I got this" He assured.

"Hey! Why are you all reunited without me?" Asked Soobin, who suddenly appeared from behind with a pout on his lips. 

"We were bad mouthing about you" Kai said. Soobin looked at us in disbelief. His poor innocent soul immediately believed Hueningkai's words.

"What? Why?" He asked, tilting his head with his brows knitted together.

"Because we don't like you" Taehyun responded.

"Yeah, you always eat all the bread" Beomgyu added.

Soobin kept quiet. He looked at Yeonjun and me, hoping we would say something different. Yeonjun was trying hard to hold back his laughter, but Soobin's face made me feel guilty.

"Aww, don't listen to them. They're just messing with you" I said, smiling at him and standing on my tiptoes to ruffle his soft hair.

"Party pooper" Kai said, crossing his arms.

"I thought it was true and that I had done something bad. God I felt awful" Soobin said, frowning "You guys are heartless monsters"

Everyone laughed. Yeonjun stepped forward and pinched Soobin's cheeks with both of his hands.

"Aww, don't be mad Soobinie"

Soobin rolled his eyes, huffing in response.

"So, now that's our first day of vacation... Do we have any plans?" Beomgyu asked. "Maybe we could go out and eat some pizzas?"

"I can't today. The laptop I ordered arrives today, so I will be really focused with it" Taehyun said excitedly.

"And my mom wants us to buy all the decorations for the cabin" Kai explained, scratching the back of his neck.

"My mom will buy chocolate bread today" Soobin exclaimed, shaking his fists with a wide grin.

Beomgyu sighed.

"Then... Tomorrow?"

"I'm free" I said, Yeonjun nodded.

"Yeah we're free as well"

"Then pizza?"

"And ice cream" 

"The last one to arrive treats"

"Deal"

I rolled my eyes, chuckling.

"Okay guys, we better go now before it gets colder outside" I said, grabbing Yeonjun's arm and dragging him with me "I'll see you later!" I yelled from the distance, waving at them and they waved back at me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We made our way through the grass to Rocky's grave. When we finally found it, I placed the bucket of tulips I bought for him on the way. Their beautiful colors gave a bit of light to the area, and that made me smile.

I sat on the grass crossing my legs, and Yeonjun sat nex to me, pressing his knees against his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs.

Silence filled the place, only the sound of birds chirping was around us. We kept silent, feeling the wind blowing our hairs as we opened our hearts to him... Wherever he was.

"It's been a while, bro" Yeonjun finally said, breaking the silence.

I smiled, staring at the stone.

"5 months already... I can't believe time goes so fast even when it feels like an eternity" I added, looking down at my lap and playing with the grass.

"Is this the first time you come here since that day?" Yeonjun asked, turning his head to look at me.

I nodded.

"It was tough" I confessed "I'm glad I can be here again"

"I came here last month, but I can imagine how hard it was for you if I feel like it had been ages since I came" Yeonjun said, moving his hands and placing them on the floor, leaning back and sighing. "It's a pretty day even with this cold weather"

"It is" I smiled "And christmas is coming... The first time without you" I sighed "Yeonjun's friends invited me to go with them for a weekend. It's going to be in the mountains, I'm sure you would've loved it" I told Rocky as if he could hear me.

"I don't know why we didn't think about inviting him. I honestly regret it" Yeonjun spoke, sitting straight again and smiling bitterly.

"It's okay. They didn't know each other that well, and he used to spend those days with me" I smiled, gently rubbing his arm to comfort him "But I'm sure if you had gotten to know them better you would've loved them. Seriously, they're so funny" I chuckled "They never fail to make me smile with their random comments"

"And you still haven't seen anything" Yeonjun giggled.

"Why?" I asked, looking back at him.

"Just wait until you see them after midnight"

His comment made me even more excited about it, imagining all sort of silly things they could do.

"I'm sure I'd have a good laugh" I giggled.

"Or you could be traumatized and want to run away. You wouldn't be able though, cause we'd be really high, it'd be really cold and dark, if you get lost we wouldn't be able to find you, you'd be on your own with who knows what kind of animals surr--"

"Do you want me to go or what?" I asked interrupting him, hitting his shoulder. He let out a laugh.

"Sorry, your reactions are always amusing"

I opened my mouth in disbelief.

"Rocky, can you believe this idiot is using me as his personal clown?"

"Aw come on, if you say it that way, it sounds horrible" He said, slightly pushing me.

"I call this violence. Rocky, please appear in front of him at 3 am and pull his feet"

"He would never. He knows I don't get scared easily"

I rolled my eyes.

"Is that a dare? Rocky loved dares" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay stop it. No dares here"

I laughed, throwing my head back. I caught Yeonjun staring at me, a subtle smile on his lips.

"There it is" He muttered.

I tried to catch my breath when I stopped laughing, then looked at him.

"What?" I asked, looking around looking for that something he just mentioned, my mouth still covered by my fingers as I kept letting out little giggles.

"Your laugh" He said. I looked at him and our eyes locked, but I felt flustered and had to look away.

"It's ugly, I know" I said, smiling.

"It's not" He said, making me look at him again. He smiled. "Music to my ears. It's been so long" He said, poking my forehead with his finger.

I just smiled, looking down. I found a lot of his gestures really sweet, but that one in particular, was cute.

I sighed contently.

"Sorry because we got out of topic, Rocky. The point is... I really want to go, but you know how my mom is... Especially since that incident months ago. We're going to talk with them today, I hope it works out"

"If we make it, I promise we will try our best to make her have a good time, and comfort her whenever she feels down" Yeonjun added. I smiled at him and he winked.

"It's time for us to go. I miss you Rocky. I really wish you were here to go with us. These past few months have been the most difficult ones in my life, and although I'm slowly getting better, I still think about you every single day, and I still love you. I always will." I promised, standing up after Yeonjun, who offered me his hand to help me up and I accepted. "I hope you like this tulips I brought for you, they're beautiful and full of life like you were. I'll bring more next time" I smiled, grazing his name with my fingers.

"I'll come see you again really soon. Miss you, Rockass. Please take care of us up there" Yeonjun smiled "And please don't come to my room at 3 am, I know you, that wasn't a fucking dare" He added, making me laugh again.

He turned around and gestured me to follow him, with a smile on his face.

I never thought visiting Rocky's grave could also be a good moment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"A trip? In the mountains?" My mom asked, rubbing on her temple.

Yeonjun was sitting next to me in front of the dining table, looking a bit uncomfortable.

"Yes... But mom, they go every year on Christmas and they have a really good time. It's a safe place, just to spend some good time with my friends" I said pleadingly.

My mom kept staring at us, her expression blank. Then shook her head.

"I don't think that's a good idea Haneul. Being far from us after all that happened? No, I don't think so"

"Mom, that was months ago. Please just let me try to get my life back. I'm finally trying to change things"

She sighed.

"I'm glad you have new friends... But I'm not sure, Haneul. I'm worried. What if you have another mental breakdown?"

"Mom, they've been the greatest company the past few months. In good and bad, they've always been with me. Also, I've been going to therapy and taking my medications, I'm a lot better. Please mom... It's just a weekend"

"And I can promise you that I won't stop taking care of her. Kai's family will be there as well. I give you my word that I'd never let anything bad happen to Haneul, Mrs. Lee" Yeonjun finally spoke.

My mom stared at the both of us.

"Yeonjun... I'm really grateful for everything you've done for Haneul, but..." She said. I looked at her with pleading eyes, starting to believe she wouldn't let me, but then she spoke again "Fine, but please promise you will not let her get hurt"

"Mom..."

"I promise, Mrs. Lee. I'll stay with her"

She sighed, nodding.

"Okay. We'll wait until Haneul's dad comes back and we'll discuss it. Haneul will tell you later"

Yeonjun nodded. A hint of excitement and hope appeared on his face, which made me smile as well.

"Then I'll get going. Thanks for your time, Mrs Lee" Yeonjun bowed "Bye, Haneul" He said, gently patting my head and smiling before he walked to the door and exited my house.

I was smiling, feeling hopeful now that I could probably spend some good time. But then, my mom sat in front of me.

"Honey, you can probably go, but there's something I want to talk about"

I frowned, looking at her with confusion.

"What is it, mom?"

She grabbed my hands over the table, and sighed. I started to feel worried.

"Your dad and I have been thinking..."

"About what?"

"We decided that we want you to go back with us"

"What? To Daegu?"

She nodded.

"We think it's the best for you. We don't feel safe leaving you here on your own after all"

I felt my stomach sinking at the thought. There was no way I'd want to leave.

"Mom, I don't want to go back to Daegu. This is my home now, I'm about to graduate from school, I have my friends... This was Rocky's home" I said, feeling the anguish growing inside me.

"Honey, you can make new friends, or even keep in contact with them from there."

I frowned, shaking my head.

"Mom, why would I want to do that?"

"Starting all over again isn't bad. You need to heal, and we can take care of you. I wouldn't forgive myself if I leave you here when I made such a mistake last time"

"But mom... It's been months and I don--"

"Just think about it, okay? You have until January to decide."

"Mom..." I sighed.

"Just consider it, that's all I ask. Just like you do with me and that trip" She said. I sighed and nodded.

She smiled and stood up after patting my hand. I walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs to take a shower with my mind full of things.

Going back to Daegu would mean leaving all these years behind. Leaving Rocky and I's memories, leaving the boys, leaving my dreams... Leaving Yeonjun who has been there for me all the time... Leaving Seoul would do nothing but break me once again. I wanted to start again, but not like that.

I was sure that was something I didn't want.