Yeonjun's POV:

Sitting on the floor, I couldn't help but keep asking myself why.

Maybe if I had been there, it could've been different. I could've stopped Rowoon from driving while being drunk. I think everything would be different if I didn't stay at home.

My eyes stung, they were puffy and red. The headache appeared and the tears that kept streaming down my face felt like burning on my skin. The sense of reality wasn't there, it all felt like a hideous dream and I just wanted to wake up.

The doctor walked out of Haneul's room and I stood up quickly. He checked on his notes and then looked at me.

"I need to contact her family. Are you related to her?"

I shook my head.

"No. I don't know how to contact them"

"Are you her boyfriend?"

His question made it feel even worse. I shook my head again.

"I... No. I'm her friend. Her boyfriend died in the accident"

The man gave me a sympathethic look and nodded.

"Were you related to him, then?"

"I'm his best friend"

He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"My condolences" He said. "Do you know how can we reach his family?" I nodded.

"I know his parents... But for her... I'm all she has."

The man fixed his glasses, letting out a sigh.

"Okay. She's going to be asleep for a while. She had a neurotic attack and we had to sedate her. We'll let you know when you can go to her room. For now, please follow me."

I did as he said, following him and thinking how terrible these news would be to Rocky's family. I couldn't even imagine, If I was in so much pain, his parents wouldn't have it any easier.

I gave the information about Rocky's parents to the doctor, and he explained to me what happened to him. I pressed my eyes shut, I didn't want to hear more details. I couldn't believe someone as good as him, had to leave this world in such a terrible way.

Just the thought of such a horrible thing, made me want to throw up. My chest hurt, my thoughts were tangled and I felt like a complete chaos. There was no way for me to understand, I didn't want to understand, or accept it, or process it. It wasn't fair.

But there was something else I felt, and it wasn't anything better. I don't think I ever had experienced such a terrible feeling inside my heart.

I walked around the hallways as I searched for his room. I kept taking deep breaths, feeling a knot on my throat when I found the numbers glued to the wooden door. As soon as I opened the door, I spotted him. There he was.

He was awake, he had just a couple of small bruises on his forehead and a broken arm. He was staring at the ceiling, apparently deep in thoughts. His eyes were glossy, he probably had cried not that long ago. He noticed me entering the room, turning his head to look at me as I stepped closer until stood there beside his bed.

"Yeonjun" He muttered, his eyes landed on me.

I felt hurt, I felt rage. It was a mixture of feelings so strong I didn't even know how to control. I was relieved that he was alive, but I was angry, I was upset, he was supposed to take care of them all, but decided to act irresponsible.

"Why?" I muttered. He looked at me, confused.

"W-Why what?"

"What were you thinking?!" I asked, now raising my voice.

His eyes widened, but he didn't say a word.

"Why did you drive when you were drunk? Why did you ask him to go on the passenger seat if you knew the seatbelt didn't work?" I asked again, my hands closed in fists.

"I wasn't-"

"You were fucking drunk!" I shouted, interrupting him "The doctors said they made a test to measure the level of alcohol in your blood, it was by far higher than it should've been to be able to drive!"

He sat up, looking at me with a blank face. His breath was erratic. The look on his face spoke louder than words. He was shocked.

"I-I don't know what to say... Are they okay?"

A bitter smile formed on my lips, and he immediately got the hint.

"No, they're not" I breathed, looking at him dead in the eye. "She is alive, but sedated because I had to tell her that her boyfriend died".

His face became pale instantly when he heard my words, and tears formed in his eyes. It didn't take long until a single teardrop ran down his face.

"No... That can't be" He said, his voice almost in a whisper. He barely blinked, but his eyes were red. "Please tell me that Rocky didn't die!" He shouted, grabbing my arm desperately. "Yeonjun, please!" He cried.

I looked down, trying my best to keep my composure. I took a deep breath before I looked at him again and shook my head. He covered his mouth with his hand, muffling his own sobs.

"Do you know what happened?" I asked him, my eyes kept stinging and I tried my best to surpress my tears, but I couldn't. He looked at me, and I knew how bad this would be for him, but he had to know how bad the consequences of his actions were. "Rocky got ejected through the windshield! And why? Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt!" I raised my voice, letting my emotions take complete control of me.

Rowoon pressed his eyes shut. His lips were trembling and I saw new tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Oh God... I'm sorry" He whispered, covering his face with his hands and starting to sob again and louder "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault!"

I dried my own tears with the back of my hand, panting thanks to the rage and unbearable pain I was feeling inside.

"It was, at least most of it. Unfortunately, putting the blame on you or anyone won't change anything or bring him back. I'm glad you're okay and I hope you learned the lesson, but I don't want to see you. And please, stay away from Haneul".

I turned on my heels and walked to the door.

"Please tell her that I'm sorry... There are no words to explain how awful I feel... Will she be okay?"

I turned my head and looked at him one last time.

"I don't know, but I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen. I will take care of her and never leave her side, and maybe someday she will be able to forgive you. For now, you can take care of yourself. Goodbye, hyung".

Those were my last words before I left his room without looking back.

Was I being too cruel? Too inconsiderate? Selfish or maybe even despicable? Yes, probably... But could you blame me?

I knew I'd have to make up my mind later and talk to him about it, but in that moment he was the only one to blame for his death. He was our older brother, he was supposed to be responsible and take wise decisions, but his irresponsibility caused him to die. Rocky probably was too naive to be there knowing the risks, but all he did was trust him, and he was the only one who had lost his life. I wasn't ready to forgive, to understand. I didn't want to look at him and remember that everything could've been different. All the dreams he had, all the things he wanted to do just vanished. He had so much to live and it broke my heart to know he wouldn't be able to experience it.

Besides, I had all the weight on my shoulders. He had the remorse of what he did, but I was the one who had to face the consequences. I was hurting really bad and I still had to find a way to console Haneul. I had to face his parents, I had to be the strongest one even though I was feeling numb and lost, even if I had to mourn my best friend, I had to be the pillar for them, because someone had to, and I was the only one who was physically capable.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face with cold water. I rested my hands on the counter and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were still puffy, and my nose slightly red, but I had to do my best to look strong. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.

Damn it, Rocky. You felt it, didn't you? When you asked me to promise you that I would be there for her if you were gone... You probably didn't know, but you felt it. You always had this kind of feelings and they were usually true... But you wouldn't tell me that, right? Cause you knew I'd say you were over thinking, and I wouldn't have taken it seriously. I wish there was a way to change things. I wish I had listened to you more than I always did.

I took a shaky breath, and finally left the room. As I wandered around the hospital, I saw his parents with the doctor. The loud sobs of his mother pushed me to the verge of crying, but it was even worse when her eyes full of pain landed on me.

"Mrs. Park".

She opened her arms and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back, letting her cry on my shoulder.

"Yeonjun, oh my God this is horrible. Why? Why my son?" She cried, I just held her tighter. "My baby, my baby"

I was struggling so badly. It was so hard for me to not break down and cry with her. Rocky's parents were like my own family.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Park..." I whispered. She finally pulled back and smiled bitterly, cupping my cheek with her hand.

"I'm so glad you're okay. You were like a brother to Minhyuk" She smiled, with tears on her cheeks. "Thank you for everything you did for him" She added, breaking down again. She placed a kiss on my forehead and all I could do was hold her hand.

"He was my brother" Was all I said. She nodded.

"I know... What about Haneul? Is she okay?"

"Yes, she survived".

She let out a relieved sigh, followed by a sniffle.

"Thank God... I'll visit her soon... I have to..."

"It's okay, I will take care of her" I assured her. She smiled again.

"You are such a good young man... Thank you".

I bowed at her. I didn't even know what to say. I never thought I'd have to go through something like that, and it was just the beginning.

I made my way to her room, finding her asleep when I stepped closer. My heart ached for her, remembering how her world was crumbling. I couldn't imagine how much she would be hurting, because I had never loved anyone the way she loved Rocky. If losing someone so close to you, someone you felt like your family was so devastating, It was hard to imagine how much it'd hurt to lose the one you loved.

I lifted my hand and grabbed hers, caressing the back of it with my thumb. Her hands were cold, and she looked so pale and weak. She didn't deserve such a sad ending to her love story.

I took a seat next to her bed, lifting my hand and caressing the top of her head.

I know how hard this will be for you. I'm so sorry someone like you have to go through something so painful. I know how happy you made him, and I know how much he loved you. I know you were his most precious person, and I promise I won't leave you alone. I promise I will be there every single day, through thick and thin. I promise you in the name of Rocky that I'll do anything to make your life less difficult.

We may not know each other that well, and I know I'm not him and I will never be, but I'll make sure to protect you from this pain and heal your wounds no matter how long it takes, so you can smile and be bright again, so you can love again someday. And how could I not? If all you ever did was bring happiness to his life from the moment you appeared. You were the main reason for him to become stronger and a better man.

And somehow... All that we have from him... Is us. All I have from him is you, and all you have from him is me. The closest people he had to himself... Us.

Haneul... I'm here for you.