The wedding party's table was situated towards the back of the restaurant, close to the edge of the rooftop. Secluded and quiet, it was absolutely perfect for them all. Because of their large party, they had more candles along the table, which gave the night a romantic glow. Ruth lose her breath as she moved towards the other end of the table with Raffo in tow. Before she could reach out a hand to grip the chair, Raffo was already there, pulling it out for her.

Ruth beamed up at him and sat down so he could tuck her forward. Raffo took the last chair to her right and wrapped an arm leisurely behind her seat. Her heart raced and warmed at the move, and she subconsciously scooted closer to him as they turned to engage with the rest of the table while waiting to order their drinks. They weren't waiting long, much to their relief, and picked out their meals off the menu as well. Ruth was going for a simple chicken fettuccini alfredo because it was her comfort food and Raffo got lemon chicken with rice.

She made a mental note to herself to snag a piece when he wasn't looking.

But, of course, he was five steps ahead of her. "You're not getting any, Ruth," he warned. She pouted.

"I wasn't thinking about that," she lied. "I was, uh—gonna ask how your sisters are doing? Your mom?"

Raffo cut his eyes suspiciously at her, but gave it up as soon as she flashed him her innocent smile. It didn't take long for him to smile back at the mention of his sisters. "Ava's good. She's enjoying high school. Phoenix is . . . Phoenix."

Ruth couldn't hold back her laugh at that. "Still a troublemaker?"

He nodded grimly. "She's giving mom a run for her money. I try to visit them every few days to help with the girls, but I can't take more than a few hours of being around them sometimes."

"You don't live with them anymore?"

"God no. I moved out as soon as they settled in their new apartment. I'm on my own now."

She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "A new apartment?"

Raffo's face lit up beneath the stars and fuck if it wasn't the cutest thing Ruth had ever seen. "I was finally able to move my family out of that asshole's house. We haven't seen him in two years."

Ruth smiled widely, her chest squeezing in happiness for him. She couldn't stop herself from reaching over to grab his free hand and giving it a proud squeeze. Raffo's abuse had worried her through the years, despite loathing him, and to hear that he was no longer getting hit was a such a relief to her. She remembered how much it had hurt her when she found out where all of his bruises were coming from, and when Raffo had protected her from Roger's wrath himself. "That's amazing, Raff! I always knew you guys would leave that jerk face."

He chuckled. "It took a lot of overtime at work, but we finally did it."

"What do you do for work?" she asked, releasing his hand to take a sip of her Shirley Temple.

"I work for the BIA, actually. I finished my degree and now I'm a financial consultant and sometimes do economic planning. On weekends if I'm free, I work at Johnny's dad's garage still if Moe needs an extra hand."

She rose her eyebrows, impressed. "It . . . wow, Raff. It sounds like you've done really well for yourself." She was happy for him, truly. She just wished he had trusted her enough to be there for it at the time.

Raffo shrugged modestly. "I did what I had to do. I needed to help my family, and I did. But . . . I also just needed a distraction."

"You needed a distraction?"

"Believe it or not, Ruth, but you leaving left a number on me," he laughed ruefully, his voice tight.

But you left me.

Ruth swallowed thickly instead of voicing her own thought aloud. "Oh."

Raffo captured her gaze, and she sucked in a sharp breath at the torturous pain in his eyes. She tried to push away the tightness building in the pit of her throat as she blinked away the emotion rising in her body, but it was a difficult task. Especially with the anguish turmoiling in his expression.

"Do you want to go check out the edge of the roof?" he asked, gesturing over to the glass ledge. She understood immediately what he was insinuating and nodded quickly, needing the privacy. They told the group they'd be right back, that they were going to look over the edge.

Everyone smiled and waved them on. Eddie and Johnny looked almost relieved at the pair, whereas Jana and Terry seemed more nervous. There was a hope that gleamed in their gazes however, and Ruth didn't ask why just yet. Her and Raffo needed a few conversations first before cornering them.

Raffo led them a little ways away from the group and any other nearby tables. He found a secluded space towards the far corner of the glass and they both stood side-by-side, gazing down at the city below them. The glass reached Raffo's waist whereas for Ruth, it touched her mid-section as she curiously leaned her body on the ledge.

It took Ruth a second, but she finally worked up the courage to ask him a very important question. A question she didn't want the answer to, but one she needed to hear. Though he hurt her, he didn't deserve an eternity of loneliness.

"Did you ever try?" she finally whispered, turning her body towards him.

He turned his body as well, resting his side on the glass as his beautiful hair moved with the wind. "Try what?" he asked.

"To find someone else?"

Raffo paused at first, taken aback by the question. He ran his tongue along the corner of his mouth and then slowly nodded. "I tried to. Once. There was a girl—Diana, I went out with a few times a little bit ago. She was a close colleague of mine at the office and I thought . . . I thought maybe she could help me move on."

Ouch.

Ruth looked down at her resting arms, unable to conceal the agony tearing at her chest like a wild animal at the thought of him being with another girl. It shouldn't have devastated her, but it did. He didn't want her anymore, but he tried to move on with someone else? At least for her, she tried to move on because she had no choice. Raffo had left her and Emily was there to pick up the pieces. It was only fair to give the girl a chance.

Raffo wrapped his finger under her chin and gently lifted her head back up. His love was so radiant right then and so consuming, that her throat succeeded in constructing all airflow. Her tears rimmed the bottom of her lashes and his thumb captured the one escapee that threatened to trail down her cheek.

"But she couldn't help me move on," he whispered. "Not when I wanted you more than I wanted air to breathe. I couldn't bring myself to want her, to even try to love her because nothing in my body worked right anymore. The other half of me—fuck, the best half of me left with you on that plane three-and-a-half years ago. And no one could bring that back to me but you."

He took a shaky breath. "No other girl did it for me because they weren't you, and that's how it's always going to be. Even if one day I do find somebody else, long after you go back to New York, they'll never hold a candle to what you are to me."

Ruth couldn't breathe. She didn't want to. Not when she wanted to throw caution to the wind and slam her lips to his and agree life was rough without him. She never totally moved on, not really. Moving on is not cringing when you so much as think about the other person. Moving on isn't choking up and being angry and feeling all the emotions she could feel whenever that name was brought up or floated in her subconscious. Ruth really thought she had moved on, but it was apparent she didn't.

And she didn't know what to do with that information.

Raffo, misinterpreting her silence, continued. "You're with Emily now, and I'm trying my best to respect it. But that doesn't mean I'm going to lie to you about how much you mean to me. For as long as I'm alive, you'll always know that you're the best girl for me out there, and nobody compares to you."

Ruth's choked up laugh was followed by the soft stroking of his thumb along her cheek. "Your ass owes me a dance at the end of the night," she warned, unable to bring herself to say what was resting on the tip of her tongue.

He only smiled. "Of course."

Raffo stayed true to his word. Right after they returned to the table, the food came out about ten minutes after and everyone dug in immediately. Ruth was able to have her way and take some of his lemon chicken, but not before giving up a few bites of her chicken fettuccine alfredo. He quickly reminded her to fix her face after she reluctantly gave some of it up and reminded her he gave her his chicken. That one made her soften her features and smile instantly. Not long after that, they all laughed and talked for a bit before hitting the dance floor in pairs after Raffo's suggestion.

Ruth, standing half a foot away from Raffo in the center of the floor, offered him a wry smirk and held out her hand for him expectantly. "Ma'am," she drawled. "Can I have this dance?"

Raffo grinned, grabbed her hand, and drew her body tight against him as he wrapped his other arm securely behind her. "I thought you'd never ask," he mock gasped.

She giggled and wrapped her arms high around his neck. Her fingers loosely gripped her other wrist as Raffo led them into a swaying dance that didn't consist of many steps, but was appreciated all the same. He trained his focus solely on her, drinking her in as if for the last time. He greedily took his time marveling over every feature, lingering longer on her full lips before eventually making his way back up to her eyes that never left his face.

"Can you talk when we get back? I don't think I want to put it off any longer than I have to," Ruth admitted, breaking the moment before she did something reckless that she could never come back from. It was too easy to slip back into the role of being Raffo's girlfriend and she needed to get a hand on herself quick.

The turn of the conversation caused a flicker of uncertainty to spark in Raffo's gaze. "Of course. But only if you're ready to hear it because fuck . . . I don't want to hurt you," he admitted, hesitantly.

"It's a bit too late for that, don't you think?" Ruth questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Raffo partially smiled. "True. But this—this is different. I don't know how you'll be after and—"

Ruth politely hushed his panic. "Let me worry about that part. You just tell me the truth, okay? I promise I can take it."

"I know you can," he reassured her, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. "Okay. As soon as we get back, I'll drive with you to Jana's and we can talk there."

Biting her bottom lip, she nodded. She was more than ready to hear what he had to say, and though she said she could take it, she honestly wasn't so sure. Why would he think she would change from whatever information he held?

*****

We're getting our answers next chapter, y'all! I'm so excited! Stay tuned for the next update.